Juice time, yuh yuh, Juice time, yuh yuh...for the year 2G the rap game change for one name...Jewelz aim to slain anything on this plane...remains are found when the best kept secret get heated...you went platinum with a ghost writer so in the game you won you cheated.
Coley: Uhh yeah no, not a whole lot. I've got Mickstape on my back in the Balinacup tournament.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: The important things happening in the country today.
Tyler: Sure, sure. One of us had to do it.
Coley: Listen *laughs*
Tyler: Wasn't gonna be me!
Coley: Very famously not you!
Tyler: Nuh uh
Coley: Marty Mush, I think someone took out his brain, kicked it around for a few days and then they didn't even put it back in the correct way.
Tyler: How could you tell?
Coley: I guess maybe with the distraction of sports before, he was like "I'm just gonna be bad at gambling" and the other ideas would trickle out slowly. Now he's only got time for those ideas.
Tyler: What did he think this time?
Coley: He's eating Oreos in the shower, which I don't hate the general concept.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: But it's like the shower water is adding to his taste which, and this is a man again, who will not put milk in cereal because it'll get "too saggy" but shower water on Oreos, just what the doctor ordered.
*silence ensues*
Coley: I can't tell if Tyler is frozen, or beyond furious at this news, it's honestly both acceptable responses because that's what kind of lunatic Martin J Mush has become. While Tyler figures out whatever the fucks goin' on over there, i'm gonna play it for the good people at home because it's a great way to pass the time.
Tyler: *reemerges* There we go!
Coley: There he is!
Tyler: The circle started circling.
Coley: I thought maybe you were just frozen in anger.
Tyler: Yeah, furious! At something i'm sure. I heard the Oreos in the shower, but is he like wetting them in the shower water?
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: But he wants his cereal and milk in different cups, okay.
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Alright.
Coley: Efficiency.
Tyler: Just say you don't like Milk, because if so he should be doing his cereal like this, no? Just dipping it in water, sounds like he just don't like milk.
Coley: He may.
Tyler: Fuck this guy is basically what i'm tryna get the bottom of.
Coley: *laughs* No, I agree with this point, wholeheartedly.
Tyler: I don't mind while washing my back, i've got a sleeve of Oreos.
Coley: Right, yeah!
Tyler: Just grab a couple, i've earned it.
Coley: Yeah, change the song, grab an O.
Tyler: Yeah, grab a rack. I don't mind polishing off an entire big 60 of cookies, every morning if need be. That's the thing with Mush, he's the best pilot in the world at taking off-
Coley: Without question.
Tyler: -and he can not figure out how to land to save anyone's life.
Coley: He's Game of Thrones as a person.
Tyler: Yeah! No...
Coley: He'll throw a lot of ideas at you, you don't always know who he's talking about, he doesn't always introduce things well and he sure as hell will not end it in a coherent manner.
Tyler: No because even then, if Game of Thrones fell off and had 4 straight trash seasons like this, it'd be more comparable. That's disrespectful to Game of Thrones.
Coley: Wow!
Tyler: As much as I hate to give anything to Game of Thrones, after they did season 6 and never returned. Rude. He gets up in the air, he's a stunt pilot. He does stunt pilot shows, do they even have those anymore? I feel like I only hear about them when something goes horribly wrong.
Coley: Yeah I think they kicked that guy off the plane and the brought in the Air Marshall to take his seat.
Tyler: Yeah and that's Mush, he's up there, he's like "I just spelled my name and dotted the I, but I don't know how to land this thing.". It's like "Well do something, you're headed for a school bus of children.". He's like "Yeah I see it, I just don't know what to do.". Then the plane crashes, that's Mush's idea. No one's killed but Mush
Coley: Yeah, ideal, some are saying. It was weird, I was listening to a podcast earlier today, walking the hounds and what not. They had recorded it like last Wednesday and it came out today. There's too much world happening right now to leave that much of a gap.
Tyler: Yeah...Boy oh boy. Imagine if all this was going on, and to some extent it was, like in 1952, the Time Editor's like "Man, we get once a month. We just gotta take a stab in the dark."
Coley: *laughing* This was the Simpsons writing episodes like a year in advance.
Tyler: Right like some of these are gonna land, some of these are not but the ones that land are gonna stick.
Coley: Sometimes they would leave, like after they got a few seasons under their belt, like "Ah there's no in Cremea anymore-
Tyler: "We can land that plane, yeah."
Coley: They would just write random mouth movements and they're like "We'll fill in the lines when we get there, the week of? Then we'll punch in some lines. Gerald Ford might not be with us, that joke might be in poor taste."
Tyler: *Homer voice* "The Denver Broncos!"
Coley: *laughs* Right, yeah that was the best. When I was a little kid I had no fucking idea why they were doing that.
Tyler: *laughs* Now you know! Now you're an adult and everything is much less fun. Now you know.
Coley: Correct, I was like, "This must be some adult thing I don't get.". Now it's like, oh no they just waited till the week of the Super Bowl to fill in the teams.
Tyler: Even the newspaper, man. If you got a small town newspaper and you guys are running Monday and Friday, it's like "Y'all got any ideas for Friday that won't look stupid on Saturday? Y'all got anything. I got it on hold"
Coley: There's nothing, because I wrote for those newspapers in high school coming up. I was journalism major in college, there was nothing I wanted to do more than stop the presses.
Tyler: *Laughs* Yeah, again in rewatching The Last Dance, it was one of the things they showed that was like "When he came back, we literally had to stop and restart the presses"
Coley: When you go into a place that has giant presses, like any newspaper. It's like putting fucking raw meat, just outside the Lions cage. You could tell the push this button gives *chefs kiss* they don't make buttons like that. They were like "You have no idea how much fucking money and time it costs us, if we ever have to press this fucking button."
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: The president has to get shot, that's the only way.
Tyler: "Y'all talking like Reagan shot or like JFK shot? Cause i'll push it, but I need to be sure" *laughs*
Coley: *laughing* It has to be. So stop the presses, like bang, this is news I have to hear now! Not a second more.
Tyler: Yeah it's like a wet paint sign but also like if the sign tasted like Barbecue sauce. Not only do you have to touch it. *laughing*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: It's probably still paint but what is that hickory?
Coley: That's something internet publications just simply cannot replicate. It's not like "Delete this half draft of a bullshit blog." Like who cares?
Tyler: *laughs* "Stop the Publish!" Done. "Oh okay"
Coley: Was it Taft? Who was the president who won but the headlines said he lost?
Tyler: Oh, Dewey defeats Truman?
Coley: Yeah. I feel like someone came in, they were like, "Stop the-" and they were like "No one cares, just let the presses run, we'll fix this later"
Tyler: That was Truman who came in there, he's like "Listen, as president, I want y'all to run these god damn presses all night. I want a million Dewey defeats Truman's! I want 'em on the doorstep of every American, when I wake up tomorrow as president. Thank you" What a flex. That's one of the best picture in history, to me. Just holding the paper, "Oh I lost in the presidency? Interesting!"
Tyler: *Laughs* Yeah, again in rewatching The Last Dance, it was one of the things they showed that was like "When he came back, we literally had to stop and restart the presses"
Coley: When you go into a place that has giant presses, like any newspaper. It's like putting fucking raw meat, just outside the Lions cage. You could tell the push this button gives *chefs kiss* they don't make buttons like that. They were like "You have no idea how much fucking money and time it costs us, if we ever have to press this fucking button."
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: The president has to get shot, that's the only way.
Tyler: "Y'all talking like Reagan shot or like JFK shot? Cause i'll push it, but I need to be sure" *laughs*
Coley: *laughing* It has to be. So stop the presses, like bang, this is news I have to hear now! Not a second more.
Tyler: Yeah it's like a wet paint sign but also like if the sign tasted like Barbecue sauce. Not only do you have to touch it. *laughing*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: It's probably still paint but what is that hickory?
Coley: That's something internet publications just simply cannot replicate. It's not like "Delete this half draft of a bullshit blog." Like who cares?
Tyler: *laughs* "Stop the Publish!" Done. "Oh okay"
Coley: Was it Taft? Who was the president who won but the headlines said he lost?
Tyler: Oh, Dewey defeats Truman?
Coley: Yeah. I feel like someone came in, they were like, "Stop the-" and they were like "No one cares, just let the presses run, we'll fix this later"
Tyler: That was Truman who came in there, he's like "Listen, as president, I want y'all to run these god damn presses all night. I want a million Dewey defeats Truman's! I want 'em on the doorstep of every American, when I wake up tomorrow as president. Thank you" What a flex. That's one of the best picture in history, to me. Just holding the paper, "Oh I lost in the presidency? Interesting!"
Coley: Hmm!
Tyler: "Well somebody told a lie one day!"
Coley: Yeah, "News to me!"
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: *laughs* Yeah, better times. Maybe. For some. Modern times, i've heard a lot of people, whites, say this the past few days
Tyler: "Mark Whalberg was right!"
Coley: We'll get to Whalberg *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing*
Coley: Shade room Withers over here, we'll get to Whalberg.
Tyler: Listen, that's twice baby. I'm heating up!
Coley: I'm shocked that's only 2.
Tyler: That's 2 that I know of, i'll say that.
Coley: You would of known about the others.
Tyler: No i'm relatively new to Instagram though.
Coley: Oh I figured people would of just told you through screenshots on Twitter. The screenshot of the screenshot.
Tyler: That's why I was like, "What was this on 4chan?". It was so filtered, I didn't know what it was.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Yeah 2019 I took off, 2020 I think i'm comin' back.
Coley: Big 4chan Withers everyone knows. *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* 8chan Trilly yes! Recipes, I like it on there. I don't know what everyone else is looking at.
Coley: "Yeah they have an incredible cobbler that I happened upon"
Tyler: Oh yeah, Blackberry in the Summer?
Coley: But i've heard a lot of whites being like "I just didn't know this was happening" and I guess in like 1940 that could probably fly, again, when there was presses involved in getting your news. We've been way too online for a decade now, i'll give it a decade, it's been longer but like everyone's been super online for a decade now. It's not even that things like George Floyd, they've made headlines before, you understand!
Tyler: Sure. Sure *nodding*
Coley: Colin Kaepernick wasn't just like "Fuck this song".
Tyler: Even though he would have been well within his rights, this man says.
Coley: For sure. What do you mean it's just now coming to light? I'm glad they're at least coming to the light, i'm glad they're here now-
Tyler: Sure, 2020 years into the game! *laughs*
Coley: I hope people realize that that statement comes from an extreme place of privilege, to just be like "Yup, no idea!".
Tyler: That's the entire point of it. There was a book we had to read in high school, I think I have it and I wanna read it as an adult. It refers to privilege, it's called "The Invisible Backpack" because its full of tools that only the person that has it can use, and everybody can see it but them. People are now realizing they have that backpack, it's not a bad thing to have it, but you have it. To not acknowledge that you have it is delusion, so I hope people are seeing that or at least seeing "I didn't realize it was on every level.". Because anytime before it was like, "Well yeah they shot him in the back but what was he doing running from the cops?". He was scared for his life! They still do it with George Floyd, they'll do it with every single person, anything you've ever done. It's just been going more to that, because I think people are seeing like this was all over an arrest, why don't they just arrest him? Even if it doesn't come to the conclusion that most people want, you don't get there without an arrest, you have to start that process somewhere. I don't know if people are seeing that and realizing it's fucked up everywhere. They're starting to show these charts with how much money the police are getting. I like to call myself pretty hip, if you know what I mean.
Tyler: I bet you wouldn't Whalberg *laughs*
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: No but one of those were like they get more than transportation, education, hospitals, mental health combined. Combined! There's proof that if you take some of that money and put it into the other ones, you won't need as much police.
Coley: Sure won't.
Tyler: People are like "Ehhh, i'm goin' the other way. Take a little more from education and go to police!"
Coley: *laughs* That's the one where it's hard, and i'm sure there are people arguing it but-
Tyler: There's the internet Mick! What do you need school for!?
Coley: Education's so little on all of them, I haven't seen a single city where it's like "they're neck and neck". No no!
Tyler: Yeah, it's like arts & rec at the community center and education, neck and neck. Yeah but prisons, booming, big booming.
Coley: Yeah, have been for centuries now. I was reading something that was like "The NYPD doesn't even have a budget on record, no one knows exactly how much money they have.". It's like what are you talking about!?
Tyler: *laughing* Right
Coley: I understand it's one of the larger police forces.
Tyler: Sure, a lot of 0's, I get it!
Coley: But what the fuck! What are you talking about? *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah people see that for NYPD, then they see it for other non-New York cities, then they'll see it for their own city and state and every single time, I don't see how you can look at that. All of this? Do they need all of this? If all these other things were fine, okay put a little bit more to it, they need the best, whatever it is Dak wants to buy them. Every time, no like "Let's take a little bit more from Mental Health so when a person has a mental health episode, the police are called and a person ends up shot dead.". Like "Well he was charging at the cop". Well he was schizophrenic! You can't apply that, but people do!
Coley: I've always thought, if we didn't charge drug users, any drug, as criminals and actually got them the help they needed, would there be that problem? Would there be that many homeless people because of their drug addiction? I understand it's a different battle for every single person, however I know what the wrong answer is and that's the one we keep going to time after time after time.
Tyler: You're right, let's take a little more money from the drug addiction and give it to the police! We gotta beat those addicts clean, that's the only way! You punish them, everyone knows that's how you break addiction, you punish it!
Coley: Is it too early, at least for this country, to name coronavirus, and I say this with no disrepect to people who have lost loved ones, however, is it too early to name coronavirus 2020 MVP if we're going to see these kind of grand changes all because we have a little bit more time on our hands to actually do some learning? Even the police budget stuff, i'm not one of these people who "just figured out racism", i've seen it.
Tyler: You've known for several days now!
Coley: Yeah! 2 weeks minimum! The police budget shit, I knew they had big budgets, I didn't know it was costing every city in the country grand resources.
Tyler: Literally everybody, you can't even say like "It's bigger in Chicago". No, in every single city! In New Haven, Connecticut the police are still probably getting 6 times, that's just how this goes. You're gonna catch a lot of what you're looking for and again if you give to what you're looking for, why those people are doing it, and put more money into that. Maybe if we put a lot more money into education, they're not stealing because they're underemployed because they're undereducated because the racism starts if not from the time your born but about 1st grade or so for the most part.
Coley: Yeah those budgets are appalling, appalling.
Tyler: This is one of the first times ever, i've enjoyed peoples tweets from overseas.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: They were like "Imagine if you called the fire fighters to come put out a fire and they just showed up and started whooping your ass"
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler:*laughing* They don't put out the fire at all, they just start beating people up.
Coley: They make it larger, like "that's not enough fire!".
Tyler: They set your neighbor's house on fire too, then they lie about it, "No the house set itself on fire!"
Coley: Yeah nuh uh.
Tyler: Every single fire fighter there is like "No it definitely set itself on fire, we didn't see a thing". When firefighters aren't fighting fires, they're EMT's like they're doing other stuff. If the police didn't have to respond to mental health and getting cats out of trees and basically whatever else, then you could put that money elsewhere and still have room to protect whatever crimes that will still exist.
Coley: Now a lot of people are calling to defund the police and it's already being highjacked by reform the police and we just gotta keep pushing the other way.
Tyler: Listen y'all better be talking about some fuckin' sting if y'all talking about reforming the police, like getting the band back together. That's like "I think we can reform Hitler's work with the Nazi Party, like point's were made and slowly but surely over time we can see if we can get them to be a little bit more understanding.". No you gotta get that shit all the way outta here, it's just proven to not work
Coley: I saw someone else doing a thread that was like "That's a start, but if you only stop there it's kind of not hollow, but it's not doing the full job since it is structural top to bottom, like the whole judicial system, top to bottom."
Tyler: Yeah, bandaid on a bullet wound.
Coley: Politicians, like everything needs to be, like reformed's wrong but it just needs to be burnt down and built back up.
Tyler: It starts with Nancy Pelosi wearing her finest Kente cloth, that's the side of people where it's like, they just don't get it, they just don't.
Coley: That was one of those things I saw, and Twitter, especially this year, has been throwing that garb on everyone from Tom and Jerry, everyone in the world, Homer Simpson.
Tyler: Garb, they finna get you outta here
Coley: Is garb problematic?
Tyler: Oh yeah, you're done. *laughs*
Coley: *laughs* I just thought it was photoshopped, I was like there's no way this is real world.
Tyler: The best thing I saw was Minneapolis getting Mayor Pete outta there.
Coley: Oh my god.
Tyler: That's one of the best things I think i've ever seen in my life.
Coley: How about Ben Wyatt, like wha??
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: What are they doin'?
Tyler: They ran him outta there, like Minneapolis is a big city. How did this small child in a suit in tie?
Coley: *laughs* He was doin' the Cupid Shuffle one second and they were getting him the fuck outta there the next.
Tyler: He was like "Yeah this is great, slide to the left, Mayor Pete's havin' a lot of fun!". God bless that young lady who made him answer that question.
Coley: That's applying pressure.
Tyler: Yeah, and honest to god, it seems extreme but you have to get people answer. They're too good at giving these flip flopping answers. However you feel, stand on it because when it comes time to vote or make a law, it ain't no "well i'm just". No, you're voting yes or no, so you're either with this or against it and if you're against it? When's re-election, in how many months? Bet.
Coley: Bet.
Tyler: Made him walk the damn plank, walk the plank Mick!
Coley: I think it was New York again, it was either New York or Minnesota voted to make the chokehold illegal. Which it definitely already was and the final vote was like 145-3, those 3 gotta be on the record, we can't be like "it could of been any 3!". No no no, we need to know the 3 who were like "eh, choking 'em probably still okay!"
Tyler: Listen, those are the 3 bad apples Mick! It was just those 3. Just because 1 bad hamburger doesn't make a bad McDonalds! *grunting sound*
Coley: That's a video I didn't care if it was real because it seems way too good to be true, I was like this is funny regardless. I'm smashing a retweet.
Tyler: I think my favorite thing with the Mayor Pete thing, the first thing I saw was him making the walk of shame. So I was like, I need to know what led up to this. Like I saw the end of the movie first, like I don't even care if I know the plot, like yeah he was the father all along I get it, I need to see how we got here.
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: Boy oh boy, him just speaking through that mask, he could not look any less like a leader.
Coley: No, he sure couldn't. *laughs* Brad Stevens, 1-on-1 against LeBron, he's like "this is not the job I signed up for"
Tyler: *laughs* Boy oh boy, he said no and they had a chant ready. As he walking out there's people giving him the finger man. I'm thinking about that picture of the dog walking by and people just giving the dog the finger. *laughs*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: They did that to a mayor!
Coley: Yeah that was-
Tyler: I had no idea Minneapolis was this real, no idea. Pleasantly surprised.
Coley: Yeah listen, Prince was there. Minneapolis has just been quiet about it and now they're being super loud about it.
Tyler: They was like "Let's try him, he don't have no hands", turns out he was a black belt, he was a black belt all along!
Coley: *laughs* That was one of the better tweets i've seen in the last week, it was just some younger lady who was like "I'm sorry to Minnesota, all this time I though y'all were just cows and cheese. I didn't know y'all this real"
Tyler: Again, people are starting to normalize. Normalize saying "I'm wrong". I was wrong about Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Coley: With the shits.
Tyler: Absolutely. Mayor Pete, like where's he go from now!?
Coley: I saw reports the day after he got like thoroughly, like that was, every comedian who got sandmanned off the stage at the Apollo was like "man i'd rather do that 1,000 more times than what he's doing right now"
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: Terrible! *laughing*
Tyler: "I get to try again tomorrow night and if not we go from Detroit to Chicago, i'll get 'em somewhere!"...He just goes to different cities trying to be mayor, "Remember me?". Yeah, boo! Boo!
Coley: What a thorough booing, the whole city was booing that man.
Tyler: Prince would of been proud.
Coley: Very proud. I do believe the day after though they had begun the steps to defund the Minneapolis police department so like why didn't you just say yes in the moment and save yourself a thorough booing, like figure it out after the fact!
Tyler: Like getting proposed to in public, say no and embarrass them or say no and break they heart later?
Coley: One of them saves you thousands of people booing you.
Tyler: I was gonna say, one of them's not viral forever! *laughs*
Coley: *laughs* Yeah, he lies there, everyone's like "Yay!" and he's like "I'm not doing that shit what are they stupid? That's how politicians work, get with the program!"
Tyler: I also don't know if he's in a profession where he gets booed enough to just shake off a booing.
Coley: No! *shaking head*
Tyler: Nobody likes to be booed but like LeBron's booed in Cleveland? He's in Detroit the next night, rolls off his shoulders.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: He doesn't hear it and be like "Whoo, takes me back to Miami vs Charlotte, they gave me a vicious booing!". He's gonna hear a boo and be like "Man they got me out of there, I thought I had it figured out. I was a mayor, at 17, and there I was getting booed and told to leave my own city. "
Coley: This is another classic example, cause we've even given credit to the youth on this show 2 episodes ago, but some young people are still stupid as fuck and on the wrong side too! Youth doesn't everyone on the right side just cause we're young, this guy's 14 years old, him and Jayson Tatum were classmates! Here he is getting booed for just wildly the wrong take, how are you that disappointing in front of that many people!?
Tyler: Not even like the shaming but if people had seen his foot to the fire like this before, he never gets that far.
Coley: No.
Tyler: There's someone like that young lady in every city and they need to run like every city hall meeting cause they're gonna get the questions answered, ain't gonna be no flip flopping. We gonna know exactly how you stand.
Coley: But even those city hall meetings it's like here's your microphone, you ask the question and then they take your microphone but this was in the street like I have a megaphone and i'm physically above you.
Tyler: We can do it on whoever's homecourt but i'm sayin' she's gonna be the moderator, she's gonna have a mic and a button like Tony Reali. If you talking that bullshit or you tryna dance around the question? You're muted.
Coley: 2 points
Tyler: This is the thing, cause the politicians talk sweet and then do nothing to help the people they told they were gonna help so that's fine but now it's to the point where it's yes or no, no dancing around the question, and if it's no then we know what we need to do.
Coley: When Bernie was running I know he was pushing for, debates are simply too short it's always you get your 90 seconds of prewritten talking points with no depth to them. Over in I believe it's England, you get 90 minutes, no commercials no nothing, it's just talk. Everything you've got, empty the chamber, uninterrupted you just talk. He was like "I don't know why we do it the way we do it here, you don't get to know these people at all."
Tyler: Capitalism. You gotta sell commercials. Over there they're probably like eh!
Coley: Listen, you can put a million fucking commercials on the screen while someone talks.
Tyler: Bernie could wear a fuckin' Bojangles tie, dog I don't care. Yeah they're like this can wait, everyone's got a canned bit, they're trying to get their line in, their prewritten line. Nobody applying to the pressure, cause there's no pressure. To the moderators credit, they try to do it sometimes but they're just so staged...So that's why I voted for John Kasich, I say that to say that.
Coley: We know Ernie
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: *laughing* Something else, many things happened recently, I don't know if you guys have seen this. Oh did you see that video Top Shelf Tyson posted of that one dude just frying the short cop?
Tyler: *laughs* Yeah
Coley: Just roasting him. I was like this is the most restraint i've seen police use throughout any of this, why is he just letting this man, like he's not just chirping him, he's like "I will beat the fuck outta you" *laughs* He just pulls out his stick and he's like "Nice stick pussy"
Tyler: Nice stick sticky! Man oh man, you get away with a lot of that just off the fear, off the intimidation and when the people are fucking sick of it and they're not afraid anymore? Thats what happens, you lose that edge. It's just one of those, I don't know how often police officers have to requalify. I know you have to pass the test to get out of the academy, but do you have to do it like every 6 months? That I don't know. Feels like you should!
Coley: Feels more like college teachers, like once you're in, you're in.
Tyler: You get a little tenor.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Maybe, I don't know. They got enough money to figure it out in police funding.Coley: You would think.
Tyler: They got enough and cars and fits be trash, but we won't talk about that. All that money in there and y'all be lookin' like that? Mmm *grimaces*. Can't mess up double blue!
Coley: *laughs* Yeah navy on navy! It's too clean for them to be punting like that.
Tyler: Boy oh boy, cars stink. They blew the bag, it is what it is
Coley: The thing I was thinking was, I haven't heard anything about whoever took the initial video of George Floyd, because was it Eric Garner? Was he the one selling loosies in New York?
Tyler: Mhmm
Coley: They fucked with the dude who took and posted that.
Tyler: Yeah, Ramsey Ortega I think. They made that mans life a living hell.
Coley: He just got out!
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Just got out of prison, the only reason he was in prison in the first place was because they planted guns and drugs on him. The only reason he didn't fight it was because they also arrested his mother. Their plea was "Hey, we'll let your mother go if you do time" and by time they meant "We're gonna feed you rat poison and try and starve you to death". He's just now getting out, Eric Garner was 4 or 5 years ago?
Tyler: Yeah, and a good bit of those activists from Ferguson were just coming up missing left and right. What's my mans name with the iconic photo?
Coley: The picture?
Tyler: Yeah, he died. I feel like every couple months something pops up that's like "Remember so and so from this photo, activist in Ferguson? Found him dead, somehow they ran off a cliff but were also shot 6 times! Bizarre! Been ruled an accident.". It's so many great videos of protestors that I want to share but ah you just don't know man.
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Cause they are absolutely identifying people by whatever they can.
Coley: Yeah, Kevin Durant is.
Tyler: Ohh boy.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *exhales* Kool Drone, KD. That's tough. He did that Undefeated article right after, he's like "no". It wasn't addressed in that article, i'll say that much.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *laughs* It didn't come up, the article wasn't edited for clarity. So maybe it was lost in the shuffle but *sucks teeth* I don't know. If stuff about his game was getting to him, people gonna start chirping him about this? Oh god.
Coley: I don't know, cause we talk about it but I don't know if it's one of those things the rest of the world's giving him enough grief for it.
Tyler: No but that's the thing, it only takes one. It only takes him responding to one person about it and then it blows up, and people are like "Did y'all know that Kevin Durant was invested in drones?"
Coley: "Yeah they're fun for the whole family!" Not those kind of drones!
Tyler: No no no, no no no. By fun we mean government surveillance!
Coley: The funnest of fun!
Tyler: Yeah, yeah that's a tough scene.
Coley: So yeah whoever took and posted that video of George Floyd I haven't heard anything. I don't even know how to search for it, I don't wanna.
Tyler: I hope no news is good news.
Coley: Yeah but it's what made me think of that, if they did it back then, why wouldn't they do the same now?
Tyler: Absolutely.
Coley: They're getting these statues the fuck outta here.
Tyler: Oh man! Was it google maps or whatever, did you see that? They updated the location of the statue?
Coley: No, in the river?
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *laughs* If you search for the "whatever Edward Fuckington Statue" it was like in the middle of the river and it was like "Permanently closed". I was like that's rich, that's delicous.
Coley: That's strong, that is very strong.
Tyler: You know how mad you gotta be to roll over a statue dog? To push a statue down and roll it? I thought like when it was going up, the edge was gonna roll over and knock somebody out cold man. That's gotta be a couple tons? Statues aren't light, I don't think!
Coley: Real heavy statue.
Tyler: Not heavy enough it would appear!
Coley: There's nothing like a good statue toppling.
Tyler: Somebody said we gotta replace 'em all with statues of the Dunk Contest Winners. You got your first vote here, nothin' would make better statues.
Coley: Commission whoever made the Shaq one outside of Staples to take care of all of 'em, because that man knows a statue.
Tyler: Yeah. Just have like "boy oh boy, there's John Wall spinning the wheel!"
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Before his Dunk Contest Championship
Coley: *laughs* That one's interactive, you can also spin the wheel.
Tyler: I'm just like "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"
Coley: For some reason that's the first one that goes up, we're like "maybe this is a bad idea".
Tyler: Yeah, i'm like "I love it! I love it!" *laughs*
Coley: Sorry Blake Griffin!
Tyler: Yeah no Kia didn't pay for the sponsorship so.
Coley: You can park your own car under him for the photo op.
Tyler: Mmm. Jordan needs an entire park of 'em, that guys got ridiculous Dunk Contest photos.
Coley: Oh yeah
Tyler: Him and Dominique should just be like the default, you don't have a state team? North Dakota, who's the default? Y'all eastern conference, you get Dominique. You flip a coin, you get Jordan. That's just the default statue
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: Or like Phil Jackson, he's from one of the Dakota's. They'd like that.
Coley: If he's not from there, he's definitely spent a lot of time there.
Tyler: Mm
Coley: We'd have Dee Brown and Gerald Green.
Tyler: Nate Rob would have a couple good ones, Birdman Anderson! Why can't statues commemorate like more funny things?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: This is where we booed the fuck out of our mayor!
Tyler: *laughs* yeah! 100%, if it was just like a million pointing fingers and a small duck in a shirt and tie just walking away. See that's funny! *laughs* Isn't that much more fun than an old slave owner!?
Coley: For sure! Unquestionably.
Tyler: They're either that or "look at that guy, sick picture. the horse is on one foot, which means he died immediately after this photo was taken". It's like damn! That's a sad statue. Why can't it be a good, funny statue!? That's my pitch!
Coley: We were early to getting racist statues the fuck outta here with that chick in Philly.
Tyler: Which one?
Coley: The one who just sang all the old racist songs.
Tyler: Ahhh that old bag! Yeah.
Coley: *laughs* We were early on that one.
Tyler: *scoffs laughing* Forgot about that one.
Coley: Oh yeah!
Tyler: It's literally so much racism it escapes my mind! Except for one.
Coley: Just one racism? *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah just that one day Mark Whalberg had in '88 where he threw a no hit game, scored 42 points for the Celtics.
Coley: Listen there were hits.
Tyler: *laughs* Awhhh. Scored 42 for Celtics and went on to catch 3 touchdowns for the Patriots. He had that kinda day of racism.
Coley: Don't lump the Celtics in with this, they did nothing!
Tyler: Mmmm, they did nothing to stop it.
Coley: The Celtics are firmly a Donnie Whalberg organization.
Tyler: Mark, he had a funky bunch with him, i'll just say that. When he was out on the town.
Coley: *exhales* Do you know why that story is public?
Tyler: Cause he like tried to get it squashed right?
Coley: No so he tried to open a Whalburger's in I believe like Oregon.
Tyler: That's what it was, like a permit or something.
Coley: Yeah and if you've been arrested for anything, anything, you have to go to court in Oregon and explain what happened. Then they'll decide if you're a good enough person to open your fast food burger chain there.
Tyler: I like that! I like that a lot!
Coley: Yeah. *laughs* Instead of being like "You know what, maybe we don't need a franchise in Oregon". He was like "No no, the people of Oregon need these burgers!". So he went, he explained it.
Tyler: "So we're square right? When do we cut the tape?"
Coley: *laughs* Like how? I understand he's been in Hollywood forever, pretty much since like the day after he's been famous.
Tyler: Took him to the top!
Coley: So I get he's lost all touch with reality but-
Tyler: He's Vinnie Chase times 12!
Coley: -how on earth are you just like "This won't hurt!". To be fair, it hasn't hurt his career at all!
Tyler: That's exactly how you think it! Like "No one else has ever cared! I'll sign a few autographs and kiss my bicep a little bit and we'll be breaking ground next Thursday!". It didn't turn out that way!
Coley: No! But yeah, him having a whole, what's the name of the section on Wikipedia?
Tyler: They changed it! It was changed multiple times yesterday, which is very funny. Look up what it is now, I think it's Fisticuffs. Something very funny
Coley: Dustup! *laughing*
Tyler: *laughing* Donnie Brooks!
Coley: Hate crimes! Yeah
Tyler: That was the old one.
Coley: No it's still Hate Crimes!
Tyler: Oh yeah? Alright. It must of been changed back, because it was hate crimes then it was racial incidents, then someone put it into "Early Life" so you had to click "Early Life" to see that, it wasn't it's own tab anymore. So I don't know what the latest, maybe someone put it back!
Coley: I didn't even know the first one.
Tyler: Which one?
Coley: The chasing 3 black children
Tyler: Oh yeah. Listen that's what happens when you have a whole section.
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: Easy to get your number of hate crimes confused.
Coley: Yeah otherwise this would just be "Vietnamese Encounters"
Tyler: Yeah and no one's got any problem with that, you know what I mean!
Coley: *exhales* Yeah he blinded this one dude.
Tyler: Mhm, that was the Vietnamese guy I believe.
Coley: Yeah I didn't know he was high on PCP
Tyler: Yeah alright, that's what we all do high on PCP. We go blind the Vietnamese and beat them with sticks!
Coley: Who amongst us?
Tyler: Yeah, "Had a bad trip. Is that a crime?" Yes!
Coley: One of the black children attacked by Whalberg opposed the pardon, stating "A racist will always be a racist". Good for him!
Tyler: Boy oh boy, I knew it was coming but under that tweet it was a lot of "So? He was 16!" Bro I don't give a fuck how old you was!
Coley: Yeah like what? *laughing*
Tyler: What kinda skeletons you got in your closet man to be like "Hey man.". I got that and the #2 which kinda surprised me, "Oh we're taking Wikipedia as a credible source now?". Like the numbers at the end link to the real articles if you wanna play that game! I thought we all just kinda agreed that Wikipedia, like for compiling, like nobody's gonna go to it for research. This is not the time to play credibility.
Coley: Yeah we're not fuckin' high school junior history teachers that need-
Tyler: We're not tryna say "He was born with one nut" or somethin' no one can confirm. "That's on Wikipedia, who knows!" No, this is very public record!
Coley: Yeah, Wikipedia anyone can edit, this is true. This also isn't like 2003 Wikipedia where it stays there a month before they get to it, it gets changed back pretty quick. All the screenshots you see like after someone wins the Super Bowl like "Haha they're now the governor of this city". Go look and they get changed back immediately, immediately! So people acting like that are insane? I don't know!
Tyler: It's missing the forest for the trees man because the response to him having a section called "Hate Crimes" is like "hey hey hey, I didn't say he didn't do the hate crimes, but you're gonna believe that guy, who saw all the hate crimes, you're gonna believe him? Wow."
Coley: Yeah also like what is defending Mark Whalberg's hate crimes do for you? Like you enjoy his movie so you wanna, like I don't understand why someone would wanna defend that.
Tyler: I seen more boots licked these last couple weeks than i've seen in my life, and it's a great turn.
Coley: It is great
Tyler: *laughs* You see the article Tom Cotton wrote?
Coley: *exhales*
Tyler: *laughs* I can't even be surprised *laughing*
Coley: Someone quote tweeted, cause Barry Weiss who's an editor or someone who works at the New York Times, high up. He went on a thread the day after and rant, he was like "We've been having a lot of internal discussion on freedom of press and what we should and shouldn't write" and she was just so close to the point. Someone quote tweeted it, and it was just a tremendous insult, they said "It's like watching a light bulb turn on in slow motion" *laughing*
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: I'm just picturing flicking the light and it's like alright.
Tyler: An old filament, so you gotta wait to see it, climb through the loops.
Coley: Watch it coil *laughing* yeah
Tyler: *laughing* No that's good.
Coley: But yeah anytime your little op-ed is like, "Well yeah, of course they ran Hitler's too!". That's tough!
Tyler: *laughs* That's where we're at right now. The response was not to what he was saying. It's like "Well hey they've given worse people a platform!". Like "Lemme stop you right there! Cause that's exactly what we're trying to prevent!"
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: They put like "By: Hitler" like 6 times!
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: They didn't want there to be any confusion! Somebody photoshopped over the Tom Cotton one like "Sittin' in the boots, so that I may lift them. My country needs me and my tongue is ready" *laughing*
Coley: I feel like i've seen his @ before just saying extremely dumb shit, but I still don't fully know who, like is he someone in Texas?
Tyler: I think he's senator or somethin'
Coley: That's what I mean, like governor or some shit
Tyler: I don't know, his name's Tom Cotton. Senator yeah. Tom Cotton, dog.
Coley: *laughing* Yeah, I saw people roasting his name.
Tyler: From Arkansas! Oh lord!
Coley: They were like "This is the most believable name the simulation could spit out without us immediately laughing us out of here"
Tyler: Dubson Bobnut. *laughs
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: Sleet McDikeal *laughing* in the crew! *laughs* Oh man! But yeah man, you see they're trynna trade Klay for Giannis?
Coley: Well where do you stand!? Do you break up the Splash Brothers or do you just go get me the best player in the league Tyler!?
Tyler: I mean they already got Draymond Green so...
Coley: It's true.
Tyler: Listen, I love Klay. Have all my life, and will love him all my life. If Giannis says he's signing on the dotted line? Man oh man, I hate it but as I drive him to the airport, we can have one last good talk as friends. He'll enjoy Milwaukee!
Coley: It feels like getting rid of like the family dog, like that's Klay. You don't want to do it but the hospital bill is too much.
Tyler: It's not even that, I feel like it's, listen "we're getting rid of the family dog". "Oh aw, how come?". "Because it's not compatible with the new Lamborghini we got!" and everybody's like "Hey! The dog's gotta go! You know what I mean! I love Rover too but this thing goes 0-60 like that dude! I'll walk him. So yes Rover, he'll find a good home. Milwaukee's a fine place! We'll get him to a nice place, but we're gonna take the Lamborghini, yes."
Coley: You talk about the downgrade in weed Klay Thompson's about to experience.
Tyler: oooof. You think it makes his game better or worse?
Coley: Much worse! He's gonna be so depressed.
Tyler: Somebody gotta have it, Bledsoe or somethin' gotta have some gas for him, like somebody. They too close to Chicago to have reggie.
Coley: But still it won't be the same as living in California.
Tyler: Oh yeah, he'll go to the corner store and's like "I'll take a couple pre-rolls" and they're like "You're not in Golden State anymore Klay. That's actually a crime, i'm not gonna report you but that's literally a crime what you just did."
Coley: Luckily the good police of Milwaukee treat the Bucks with the utmost respect, historically!
Tyler: Yeah. Nothin' but the best by the boys. *cracks up*
Coley: This is the time of the year though where it's like "Of course you trade him" and then when the actual trade happens it's like "of course they didn't have to put Klay on there, no one else could match all the other bullshit pieces they were throwing out there" *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah it's like "Boy oh boy, Wiggins wasn't enough. What's next!? Klay?" I am kinda surprised we skipped the whole Draymond thing, I thought it was gonna be like a process. Next it's gonna be "Would you do Steph for Giannis?"
Coley: Probably.
Tyler: Oooh
Coley: I wouldn't want to.
Tyler: Yeah I bet not!
Coley: Obviously, but it's the same logic behind Klay. You're keeping one of them, Giannis can run point and you're keeping the 2nd best shooter in the league with him.
Tyler: He can't shoot 3's Mick!
Coley: Giannis? I've seen him do it!
Tyler: Nope. Not once have you seen him do it! *laughs*
Coley: *laughing* They want to trade the garbage souffle of like Draymond, Andrew Wiggins and whatever this pick happens to be and Milwaukee-
Tyler: And also the Minnesota pick from next year.
Coley: True, and Milwaukee rightfully should tell them to fuck themselves and ask for Klay. Bledsoe, Klay, Middleton is something in the east, it's certainly somethin'.
Tyler: Oh yeah no that's one of those "hey it stinks we lost our guys but like the Raptors, he left, we still have every intention of winning 50 games and tryna win a championship".
Coley: Now is Giannis a Ewing theory candidate?
Tyler: Oh boy House! Oh no
Coley: Why am I House?
Tyler: You wanna be Bill Simmons? *laughing*
Coley: Oh no, everyone knows i'm clearly Russillo! *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* I'm just sayin', this is why I voted for Reagan!
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: But nah, I couldn't do Steph for Giannis. I couldn't do it
Coley: Well like, we know they don't have to.
Tyler: Do we?
Coley: I mean fuckin' Kawhi got traded for Jakob Poeltl!
Tyler: And Demar DeRozan! Have some respect!
Coley: Sure
Tyler:*laughs*
Coley: Shorter LaMarcus Aldridge, yes they got him too!
Tyler: *laughs* Hey listen, that guy can dunk man! Eh eh? That guy can dunk.
Coley: His most famous dunk was a miss! I like Demar DeRozan I don't know why i'm doing this.
Tyler: Then why you shitting on him, yeah *laughing*. *mocking Coley* "Yeah he's a big dumb dumb idiot head too!"
Coley: I was gonna say shoutout him and Russ being out at the protest this weekend.
Tyler: Mmm, yeah then you just took a shit on his head. My goodness.
Coley: Yeah, I just wanted to let him know i'm applying the pressure! D.D!
Tyler: That's one of those where like if it's Klay or nothing? I gotta open you up to the highest bidder my guy. That appears to just not be the way things go, if you have one team in mind, that's just the way it goes. Those are the only teams that get hauls for superstars, like that's it. Everybody else gets raked.
Coley: Would they trade Giannis and keep him in the East?
Tyler: If it's the best offer, if it's like "we're losing him. We're gonna have to go through him to win a championship either way, if he's in the west or the east. We prefer to move him out west.". Yeah but if somebody's offering, like who are you thinking? Toronto?
Coley: Well Toronto and us, obviously.
Tyler: What would you give up for him?
Coley: That's one of those things where, it's the same obstacle we've had with LeBron in the East and he's right fuckin' there in a different Midwest town. Like what the fuck? How did this happen? So it's one of those things where if they're seriously offering it and he's like yeah i'll re-sign, it's whoever the fuck.
Tyler: *exhales* So you'd do Tatum and Smart?
Coley: You'd have to.
Tyler: Of course.
Coley: You would just have to.
Tyler: Oh they gon' yell at you Mick.
Coley: Listen i'm fine, if they fuckin' listened to me in the first place we wouldn't even be having this discussion. They'd be like "I can't believe Giannis won his 3rd straight title with the Celtics wow!". That would already be happening.
Tyler: But alas!
Coley: Yeah, they didn’t wanna listen to me.
Tyler: Thats interesting, is they wanted Tatum and Brown would you do it? Is that too much? Wheeeeww
Coley: You already made me say yes with Smart, you’re gonna make me do this now?
Tyler: No you keep Smart, but i’d they said they want Tatum, Brown and a pick for Giannis and Giannis is willing to re-sign.
Coley: You’d have to.
Tyler: Wheeeewwwww, this guy ain’t even been to the finals Mick!
Coley: No, he sure hasn’t. Neither have the others!
Tyler: And you’re giving ‘em up!
Coley: People are gonna be like “you wouldn’t do it for Kawhi but you’d do it for this?”. Yes because with this i’m saying for a one year rental, of course not but if he’s re-signing 5 years full, yeah of course. I trust Danny Ainge to do whatever.
Tyler: For a one year rental would you do Jaylen?
Coley: No. Jaylen dunks on him every single time when we play, they're basically the same player when we really look at it.
Tyler: That's why Milwaukee's like "Yeah we want him, give us him!"
Coley: Yeah no, for a one year rental. No.
Tyler: That's fair.
Coley: They can get Hayward.
Tyler: Tatum, Giannis, Kemba's a tough 3 though.
Coley: Real tough. Someone tried to tweet at me after our last episode and do the Player A, Player B but I already knew both players when they tweeted it at me. They were like *mocking voice* "Well what player would you take!". It was all just contextless, would you believe, shooting percentages and what have you. I was like in no world am I taking Gordon Hayward over Kemba Walker, are you insane? Is that even a sane person? Even Gordon Hayward doesn't think that!
Tyler: He's shooting almost 50/40/90 almost shooting, right?
Coley: Right! Getting covered by the other team's 4th best defender with wide open looks, yeah. Kemba get's the other team's 2nd best defender always and he's shooting-
Tyler: And he stinks, I get it!
Coley: -well, creating for himself. Yeah no, this isn't the same conversation, what are we talking about?
Tyler: Would you do a Kemba for a Giannis rental?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: I was gonna say, you have to do that, right?
Coley: For sure, without question. That'd actually be interesting too, because that, remember I was explaining how they're kind of forced into re-signing Hayward just based on how everything is?
Tyler: Mhm.
Coley: If they were to get, and I like Kemba, i'm not trying to trade him but if they were able to get his money off the books and then fully off the books with Giannis leaving, then they wouldn't have to re-sign him. Then you're really only looking at paying Jaylen and Tatum, so there's still some money there. That'd actually be interesting.
Tyler: 44-38.
Coley: For a year, then they'd have like max room next year, when everyone's available.
Tyler: Yeah and Danny Ainge can punt it all away again!
Coley: Yeah that Ainge, never one to make a move.
Tyler: P.U., horrible. Horford? P.U! Hayward? P.U! Irving? P.U! I don't know why this guy keeps getting contracts.
Coley: *laughing* But yeah, are you kidding me, if you just get Kemba and Hayward in Milwaukee for some reason, you guys that's a solid 4 you can trot out. Then yeah you just drop Giannis in for a year with those two?
Tyler: Whewwww
Coley: I don't know why he'd leave that situation but yeah if for some reason he did, yeah.
Tyler: We don't know why Kawhi would leave the Raptors man. Until Uncle Dennis was given some stock options. I like it.
Coley: Trust me, we could take 34 down, out of the rafters and give it to Giannis! If that's the straw that's breakin' the camels back.
Tyler: That's just how it should be. I don't know how it turned from talking about the Hornets and how Michael Jordan's a bad owner and it turned into abolishing the draft somehow. I don't know how we got there.
Coley: *laughs* Abolish is hot on people's tongues these days.
Tyler: Maybe that's what it was, people are still like "Could you imagine Cleveland if they didn't get Kyrie and these teams-". I was like yes! I could imagine incompetent teams not being rewarded, I would like that. A guy was like "If there was no draft Atlanta would never get players!". I'm like it ain't goin' too hot for us now and even if it was! I don't know if people think it's just gonna be 12 all stars in LA?
Coley: Again, there's only so many roster spots.
Tyler: Yeah! It's only so many roster spots, it's only so many LA's, Miami's, New Yorks. I feel like we're in a place now with the league, that would be the answer so you wouldn't have to contract any franchise. If you just reshuffle your talent like that. You would get stars teaming up in the big cities and whatever but from 1 to i'd say 100, there are just so many solid players, so even if you are like a Memphis, Indiana whatever, it's like "well okay, if we just get all our pick of players from 30 on? We'll still make a good team."
Coley: I think when people talk about this, like the Lakers, is Zion going to the Lakers? Probably not.
Tyler: Right. It depends on what he wants, would he for money purposes or for the sake of his brand or whatever? Maybe, but probably not!
Coley: If you look at it, why wouldn't he of just gone to Miami cause he could of had all that branding potential and big city, a young team, that isn't overshadowed by other stars. Maybe it is him and RJ Barrett linking up somewhere together. Somethin' like that.
Tyler: Yeah!
Coley: I just think it opens up a whole bunch of super interesting ways to go about building a roster, it's like "hey man, we don't have the LeBron AD teamup power that LA has, we don't have even the second LA team with Kawhi and Paul George but man oh man do we kill. We have 7 players ranked 31st-49th and they're all 7th year guys ready to go.". Like that's terrifying.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, like it's gonna be a couple teams that can't compete but kinda like we have a couple teams who can't compete now! Cause they all stink. How the Knicks big market hasn't helped, how Chicago's the 3rd biggest market and they've stunk for years. So-
Coley: Outside of one player, in the history of basketball.
Tyler: Boy oh boy, and it took 2 teams passing on him! Luck, you talk about luck. Yeah, but is that a bad thing? I would love to have a couple big stars in Chigago. Chicago seemed amazing when Jordan and Pippen was cooking.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Why would it be a bad thing if guys just started going to where they're from and linking up with those guys, if guys started, if all the Kentucky guys were like "we're all just going somewhere, we're a package deal". I'm trying to find the list of the best 75 players, the one they just did, like current players. Even if you just get enough of 50-75 guys and run your team well, which seems like the biggest thing.
Coley: You'd also still see tremendous misses, especially these guys who do wanna stay home. Imagine if Chicago was just biding their time for a few years to get Jahlil Okafor? How much that would of fucked them over? "Like no we're gonna get him and Cliff Alexander, that's gonna be our 4,5 for the next decade!"
Tyler: "We're set! Passed on that Davis kid, he was 6-1, skinny as a rail, he's got no future!"
Coley: "This is Curry, Tyson Chandler but better!" It's like, no, no actually it's worse!
Tyler: Again, it'd be a thing, do those guys wanna go there? Okay, can you offer, rookies are on a scale now so I think it'd have to be some type of rookie scale, I don't think it could be like "yeah somebody wants to pay Zion 5/250". Like well, on his second contract but on the first one negotiate whatever they can afford, whatever you want. If he does want, like okay i'll go to LA for a million dollars because I know my endorsements will quadruple it.
Coley: Be crazy, yeah.
Tyler: Or if he's like, yeah I wanna go play with my guys, give them the money. Or we'll take less money, we want good teammates with us, I just wanna play with RJ and Cam or whoever he wants to play with. They have the 99th best player, I think going into this season, Terrance Ross! Jarrett Allen's in the 90's, Kuzma, Joe Harris 95? Way too high!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Dejounte Murray 94, again a line up of just these guys is decent! Like Murray, Joe shootin', Kuzma gettin' a fit off. Boy oh boy, well they had Bam 93, so this is very funny.
Coley: That's kind of the point, Bam wasn't that highly loved coming out of the draft. It makes me think about Jaylen too, like he went 3rd but people said that was a reach on draft day so where would he have gone on an open market?
Tyler: Yeah! It's got Dinwiddie 92, who averaged 20 a game this year. Lavine's 90, who averaged 25 a game this year. So like okay, you could get good teams. I'd love to get Seattle back in the mix, cause the all Seattle team might just-
Coley: Be a problem!
Tyler: Yeah, is that so bad? "You wanna just see all these terrible teams just not have talent". Yeah! I'm fine with that, the smart ones will figure it out, they always do.
Coley: Right, and there will always be terrible teams. No matter what, draft or no draft.
Tyler: No matter how many teams! You could cut the league back to 12 teams and we'd still consistently have like 2 bad teams. That's just how it goes, some will always be bad!
Coley: Yeah. Do you think if there was no draft in 2003, LeBron still would of went to Cleveland?
Tyler: Mmm, in 2003, I do. Yeah I do
Coley: I do too.
Tyler: I do. He probably would of still regretted it but uh. *laughs* But yeah for the first one, and maybe that's kinda the thing, if these guys can, like AD outta was like "I'd like to go to Chicago". "Lemme see if I can get this done here".
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Or go to LA and people would just be against this for some reason.
Coley: Cause change! People are automatically, we're seeing it with way more important shit right now. People are just adverse to change, any change is scary.
Tyler: Yeah! I don't know, the league is broken Mick. Trae Young is at 30 & 10 a night and it's like "nope he can't play defense" and nobody cares.
Coley: The MLB just cut like 30 rounds off its draft, something crazy and it wasn't that big of a story, I saw some people talking about it but it's the MLB Draft, nobody cares.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: The MLB Draft is just constant flop after flop, 1st round picks.
Tyler: Mhm.
Coley: Supposed to be blue chip guys, like imagine if it was Anthony Bennett year after year in the NBA. You wouldn't care either. All the really good players were signed in some micro-transaction you didn't really see because they came from some Puerto Rican academy or the Dominican or something like that.
Tyler: 12 years old.
Coley: Yeah! So it’s like that guy's just been in our system for 9 years, he climbed up to the number 2 overall prospect in baseball, now he's our franchise shortstop, making 7.25 an hour.
Tyler: Yeah for the first 6 years, whaddya know!
Coley: If MLB just got rid of the draft, and it's gonna be mostly free agents now since they cut so many fuckin' rounds, I think it's an interesting thing to look and see how it gets done over there.
Tyler: I feel it's so many busts in that major league draft, because they draft for who they can sign. That's a horrible, like "no this guy's better we don't wanna pay that much, we don't know if we can sign this guy so we're gonna take this worse guy, who no he's still pretty good but he'll sign with us.". Well he didn't work out? You don't say, and the superstar guy who you didn't wanna pay an extra 500K to ended up making 6 all star teams. Whaddya know. It's tough.
Coley: Mark Appel he was draft out of high school in '09, I can't see the rounds here, he was like "Nah, i'm gonna go to Stanford instead". Happens all the time, then in 2012, he was drafted by the Pirates 8th and say no and went back, then in '13 he was the 1st overall pick, and he's done nothing.
Tyler: Listen I love the power though.
Coley: Oh yea!
Tyler: Imagine the first year Emoni Bates comes out and he's like "*grimace* no". That's another thing, do you wanna see these franchise talent's come out and get wasted by Charlotte or somebody? Why would you not, at least Detroit waste him. Let him waste away at home damnit.
Coley: I think they may try and pull a LeBron to Cleveland with him.
Tyler: As long as he's with it too. That's the point, all I want is for them to have the option. Whatever he chooses, if he goes there and he's like "I'll go home, but they're gonna have to pay me the rookie max.", and they're like "okay!"
Coley: Yeah, no problem.
Tyler: "Okay and I want, y'all gonna have to sign a couple of my boys too.". "Sure! What ever you want. I'm fine with that, let 'em ride on the team plane."
Coley: Not for Doc Rivers he won't.
Tyler: No. What a dope.
Coley: *laughs* He's like listen "First guy on the team, 15th guy on the team? Doesn't matter, same rules.". Well that's dumb.
Tyler: Yeah I feel like that's how you lose a team, they're like "C'mon man, aye c'mon man"
Coley: "Nope Scott Burrell and Michael Jordan, same guy in my eyes!". Mike's like "No, don't do this. I'm telling you don't do this"
Tyler: "I don't play favorites!"
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[End Ad Read 1]
Tyler: Did you see the NFL redraft?
Coley: I was, yup! *laughs* Literally what I was about to do. I was thinking in my brain, Iversons birthday? nN there was something else, the NFL redraft! Much needed comic relief in these uncertain times.
Tyler: Yeah...I did need that one. I did need that one, it took me some hours to pour over, I couldn't believe it.
Coley: So I haven't even gotten out of the first round yet, because I wanted to save it for this.
Tyler: Oh boy, I poured over every bit. I did a random number generator and got #21 and built my team, and I feel so good about my team.
Coley: So the Cincinnati Bengals, so they just went with this years draft.
Tyler: It's a couple rules, like salary cap doesn't matter, you have to pick a quarterback, non quarterback offensive player, defensive player, and the 4th pick's a wild card, it can be anything. 2020 draft order but it's 4 rounds and the picks are snake order.
Coley: Oh okay.
Tyler: The rest of the roster's made up with average NFL level talent. Our analytics team identifies that as Offensive Tackle Donovan Smith, EDGE Rusher Harold Landry or Cornerback Malcolm Butler. Wow.
Coley: Okay!
Tyler: And the goal is to win a super bowl within 5 years.
Coley: That I did see. So what was the first pick that made you laugh out loud?
Tyler: Number 8.
Coley: Yup! *laughs*
Tyler: Number 8
Coley: This is one of those things where someone needs to be held accountable.
Tyler: Oh yeah.
Coley: Whoever made that pick.
Tyler: They did let the people defend it, so you can see the mindset behind some of these horrible people. Who was number 8, Mick? Read it for the people!
Coley: It's the one and only Drew Brees!
Tyler: Drafted by Josh Weinfuss, Cardinals reporter. "Brees might not have 5 years left-"
Coley: No *scoffs laughing*
Tyler: "But he for sure has a good 1 or 2 left, so I immediately went into win now mode, I followed with arguabl-" well that goes into his other stuff, but.
Coley: Yeah, give the rest of Arizona's picks because I wanna hear those with Brees.
Tyler: Let's see, let's see. Yeah first round, 8 he got Drew Brees, 2 pick 57 overall he got Chandler Jones, round 3 pick 72 AJ Green, round 4 121 Patrick Peterson
Coley: So two Cardinals!
Tyler: 2 current Cardinals, a guy who hasn't played a game since December 2018 and a 41 year old man. That's your win now team.
Coley: So his win now team, he could've just had Kyler here too and the Cardinals are good to go. We're ready.
Tyler: Yeah, listen, listen they already did that! Kyler's better than Brees and Deandre's better then AJ Green! Like they're-
Coley: *laughs heartily*
Tyler: How do you do a fantasy draft and make your team worse?
Coley: *laughs* I did forget, which is also one of the funnier picks in this draft, pick number 26. Houston, Deandre Hopkins.
Tyler: *laughing* Bill O'Brien's like "Ah man, I fucked up. That guy's cold!"
Coley: I don't wanna jump that far ahead yet, so Cincinnati Patrick Mahomes, I think everyone in the world agrees that's the right pick.
Tyler: On the level.
Coley: Number 2, and I think 2-4 is more preference but I think they have the correct 4.
Tyler: I agree.
Coley: Number 2, Redskins get Russell Wilson.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: Number 3, Detroit get reigning MVP Lamar Jackson.
Tyler: Tough scene when the reigning MVP goes 3rd and everybody's like "No that's about right".
Coley: Listen, i'd probably take him 4, but that's neither here nor there.
Tyler: I'd take him 14th! No.
Coley: 3rd round!
Tyler: He stinks.
Coley: Number 4, the Giants get Deshaun Watson.
Tyler: So far so good.
Coley: Number 5!
Tyler: I agree with this one too.
Coley: Miami takes Aaron Donald.
Tyler: Yeah it's like "okay, I don't want a quarterback. I need the next best other player". Fine with it.
Coley: Guess my question would be who do they get in round 2, because you're now waiting a long time since it is snake.
Tyler: Yeah, lets see, Miami with their 2nd round they got Zeke Elliot.
Coley: They sure did.
Tyler: Kirk Cousins.
Coley: *laughs* Oh boy.
Tyler: And Kevin Byard.
Coley: Kevin Byard.
Tyler: I gotta say, listen Drew Brees went 8th, Kirk Cousins went in the third round and just beat him?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I don't hate that team, that team is way better than the Cardinals, that were jus drafted.
Coley: Yeah it is, and they had a slightly better pick but-
Tyler: Who would you go with at 5?
Coley: I don't hate Donald there, but I'd probably within these 10-15 picks, I don't think i'm looking anywhere other than quarterback.
Tyler: So who? I'm saying who's 5th right there? Because I do think it's those 4, then there's a line to the next. I mean Mahomes is a line by himself
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: So if not Donald, what quarterback's worthy of 5?
Coley: If it's just 5 years,
Tyler: Don't do it, don't say it.
Coley: Thinkin' about sayin' it.
Tyler: You're gonna say it.
Coley: Now i'm just trying to put him up against Aaron Donald and I don't even know if I could do that. Cam Newton in the real world, doesn't even have a job so I might just take him 4th round last pick *laughing*
Tyler: Listen he went 36th in this draft but doesn't have a job in real life, you tell me how that's even cool dog? C'mon man.
Coley: *laughing* I'm tryna see, who's the last quarterback who went? Ben Roethlisberger went 91, Jameis went 95, Tyrod went 97. Surprised he was drafted at all.
Tyler: Listen, that guy drafted the worst team.
Coley: Kansas City?
Tyler: Yes, he drafted Tyrod, Nick Chubb
Coley: He took two running backs!
Tyler: Yeah he did! Dalvin Cook and Stephon Gilmore. I was like respectfully, I like all 4 of those guys. That team's winning 5 games.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Max! Like this is fantasy dog, how? But yeah what other quarterback? The one's who went right after that, Brees. Would you take Brees at 5?
Coley: For sure not.
Tyler: *laughs* Dak Prescott?
Coley: It's debatable.
Tyler: Wentz?
Coley: Again, yeah I think it's debatable.
Tyler: Rodgers?
Coley: Yeah, that's who I was thinking of.
Tyler: I don't hate it. Burrow?
Coley: If I thought he was the highest upside young guy, cause we're seeing how Deshaun, Mahomes, Lamar and Russell Wilson all acclimated to the league so quickly. If I thought he had the highest upside, yeah maybe. It'd probably be Kyler if I was tryna go with one of the young guys.
Tyler: We're buildin', cause theres a couple of guys ahead of Kyler.
Coley: Yeah there sure are.
Tyler: Brady went after that, to Tampa Bay. Drew Lock!
Coley: Well tell the whole story, they completely punted picks 14, 15, 16 in this mock draft.
Tyler: Yeah, Brady, Lock, 16 Atlanta Matt Ryan. Listen Atlanta loves Matt Ryan, i'm not gonna say they hate him, but you talk about in a fantasy draft?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: C'mon man. Don't bullshit me. Kyler the number 1 pick last year who won Rookie of the Year, like did what he was supposed to do, went behind Drew Lock, who went in the 2nd round last year and didn't start the season. Like what? Huh?
Coley: *laughing* Listen, he's not tall enough for Denver. You know that.
Tyler: Boy oh boy. Teddy Bridgewater! C'mon man.
Coley: Yeah no ones stock has improved more by doing very little than Teddy Bridgewater. If they did this last year, does he even get picked?
Tyler: No!
Coley: Of course not.
Tyler: And again it's not a knock, if he's there in the 4th round, yeah give me Teddy as my quarterback. 18th overall? Come on man. 20 of the first 32 picks were quarterbacks, there are not 20 good quarterbacks. So you know, you're not getting-
Coley: How many do you think there are?
Tyler: Good quarterbacks, lets see. Let's start at the top, Mahomes, good.
Coley: Alright if we're gonna do hot takes, you can just save us the exercise.
Tyler: *laughs* Russ, 2. Lamar, 3. Deshaun, 4. Brees, 5. Dak, 6. Wentz, 7. Rodgers, 8. Burrow's the 9th one here, I think he'll be good but
Coley: We don't know.
Tyler: I was gonna say, I can't put a grade on him yet. Brady's good. Drew Lock's another one, he's shown good things but I can't comfortably say he's a good quarterback.
Coley: For sure, for sure.
Tyler: Matt Ryan's good. Kyler, I think it's fair to say Kyler's good.
Coley: Kyler's good.
Tyler: Yeah, Kyler's good. Teddy Bridgewater, I wouldn't call him good.
Coley: No.
Tyler: Jimmy Garoppolo,
Coley: He got 'em to a super bowl-
Tyler: Yeah I would lean towards good, but I could see a case for him not being. Lemme tell you what he's not, the 19th overall pick in a fantasy draft. That's chaos. Baker Mayfield, can be good but I wouldn't say he's a good quarterback right now.
Coley: No but I would lean good.
Tyler: Sam Darnold, same way, I feel the same as Baker. Ryan Tannehill, that man ain't have a job 12 months ago, now that was clearly a mistake but now you're telling me you'd take him over anybody? C'mon man.
Coley: Taking him over Stafford feels crazy.
Tyler: Yeah, like would you say Tannehill's good?
Coley: No.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, like had a great year but let me see 1 more season and i'll put you in here.
Coley: That's the kind of pick where if I build 3 other players and I get him in the fourth.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Because clearly the Titans have a very solid roster, half the definition of guys who were league average were fuckin' on their roster.
Tyler: *laughs* right.
Coley: So yeah, if I can get him in the 4th with 3 really solid players. Yeah I love that. 25? No.
Tyler: Absolutely. No. So, Tannehill, no. Stafford, I think Stafford's good and Tua, Tua's the 20th one, he's the same as Burrow. I can't say. So how many are not good? Tannehill's not good, 1. Darnold, 2. Baker, 3. Teddy, 4. Drew Lock, 5.
Coley: So there's about 15?
Tyler: Let's see, 5, a couple rookies. So yeah, 15ish good quarterbacks.
Coley: Yeah so if I had, like Green Bay taking Tua at 30, I like that. Especially getting another pick in 2 seconds like not a ton of talents gonna be gone, you'll still get a premier player at 35.
Tyler: Absolutely. That's who I went with for my random one, just cause yeah if you think he's that guy, same as Burrow. If you think he's that guy, and he's that guy immediately, in 5 years you can win a super bowl with him.
Coley: Right and I would say the same for Baker and Darnold in these 30's as well. I think we have enough tape on Ryan Tannehill to be like "Ehh, I'd rather one of these young guys instead of him.".
Tyler: Yeah, I don't hate it.
Coley: So yeah, probably within the top 10, like I don't hate Aaron Donald because he is that deal and I know there's been a lot of talk about Ronnie Stanley lately, like he's gonna be the highest paid non-quarterback in the league, he's probably the best tackle in the league. I can't evaluate tackles like that, I know bad ones but I can't tell you who's elite vs who's just very good.
Tyler: Right.
Coley: I don't know if i'd take him 6th.
Tyler: I don't hate it because it's like at 6 I need that most elite player.
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Would I rather have the best tackle in the league or, like 4 quarterbacks are already gone so like Dak Prescott or Ronnie Stanley? Especially on the other end, i'm tryna see who'd they put with him? The Chargers
Coley: They take Z'Darius Smith in the 2nd round, then they take
Tyler: Daniel Jones, yeah I don't hate that. A young guy that showed some potential, we've got the best left tackle keeping him up. I don't hate that. I'm just amazed that 20 quarterbacks went 1st round, there's not 20 good quarterbacks. 1 offensive lineman went.
Coley: What I don't like about their draft, I get the elite argument, is they took 2 offensive linemen out of their 4 picks. If you're telling me I get the 14th ranked line, i'm probably am not taking any lineman in this exercise.
Tyler: I could see that but like if it's just I need a blue chip, like I just want the best player regardless of postition.
Coley: For sure but that's why I'd just lean the guy who went next and the guy who's already on their team.
Tyler: I bet you would. *laughing*
Coley: *laughs* I'm takin' Joey Whalberg number 6.
Tyler: I'm kinda surprised, you'd go Joey over Nick? Just given a free draft of them right now? Cause I think if we're projecting forward, Joey's still incredible but christ Joey wasn't what Nick was his rookie year and he was incredible his rookie year, so.
Coley: He was.
Tyler: They went what 2 picks apart? 3 picks apart? 7 and
Coley: Yeah they went 7 & 10, so clearly
Tyler: I'd take either one of them guys before Drew Brees. That's a fact.
Coley: Without question.
Tyler: Would you rather Bosa or Dak?
Coley: *thinking*
Tyler: That's another one, like do you want the 5th, 6th and there are still people that don't think Dak is good!
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: So we got to 15 with a generous grading curve.
Coley: I'm just trying to see, this is where it's like how big fo you think the gap is between both Bosa's and Myles Garrett and Chase Young. Well Chase Young went way too high in this but
Tyler: I agree!
Coley: Cam Jordan, Danielle Hunter, Chandler Jones, you know what I mean?
Tyler: Yeah. I agree. So you'd go Dak?
Coley: That's where I see liking Aaron Donald more than, because there is a huge gap between him and the next best DT. DE I feel like there are, and the Bosa's are special, there's no doubting that but I feel like there's a lot of special DE's right now.
Tyler: Alright, alright.
Coley: Like you're telling me I can get Danielle Hunter this fucking late?
Tyler: Very late.
Coley: Where'd he go? 56! Like yeah i'm doing that all day.
Tyler: Listen the team I drafted, I just randomly did a generator and they gave me 21 which pissed me off. I was like I wish I was a liar man I would of just been like "wow 6th pick! awesome". They got Baker Mayfield in the first round, they got Chase Young in the second round, they got Lane Johnson in the 3rd round and they got AJ Brown in the 4th round. The team I picked I went Matthew Stafford in the first round, I went Chandler Jones second round, I went Jamal Adams third round cause Jamal Adams was available in the 3rd round for some reason, and I went Zack Martin in the 4th round. I was like if i'm going offensive linemen I need it to be one of the best, and he's one of the best and I got him in the 4th round. He's making the same All-Pros Ronnie Stanley is, now at a less important position but if he's upgrading my line like that. Him, Stafford and then Chandler Jones and Jamal Adams on my defense? I'm beatin' the shit outta the Chiefs.
Coley: Yeah. So you did it based on how the actual draft board fell and then whoever was available after that?
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Okay.
Tyler: Yeah otherwise, I took Mahomes 21, Aaron Donald was available at pick 56
Coley: I didn't know if you ran like a full simulator, you loaded up Madden and were like "no no, i've got the 21st pick. whoever's available."
Tyler: Yeah no I just took whoever was available in and around that, cause at 21, cause I was like i'm gonna get a quarterback later but it came to a point, it was like nah a good bit of the good ones and even the young ones are gone so I got Stafford 21, I was like i'm fine with that. He went 28 in the real one. I'd take him over Baker for the next 5 years.
Coley: Just lookin' at the board now because from then to their next pick-
Tyler: 21's so trash cause even the snake is trash dude.
Coley: Yeah it is.
Tyler: You don't get within a top 10 pick on either side of it.
Coley: No but like you could get, *exhales* I might just take Cam at 21.
Tyler: Alright, enough.
Coley: When he's healthy he's better than Stafford yes?
Tyler: I don't know man, when Cam had an 8 great games and got hurt, he's done. When Stafford had a great 8 games and got hurt it's like, no we just gotta get this guy healthy, he's elite.
Coley: I might take Gilmore there just to say, alright I have an elite corner there opposite an average corner.
Tyler: Mmm.
Coley: That feels pretty enticing, and then on the other end *exhales*
Tyler: It's such a trash pick dude.
Coley: It is. Not a fun pick to have.
Tyler: I'll also say, yeah of course I drafted mine with hindsight because my original second pick I was like i'm going Minkah Fitzpatrick but then I realized I could get Jamal Adams in the third. So they didn't have that type of foresight but even if I went with my first picks, i'm beating the hell out of the Cardinals man. That team stinks.
Coley: Derwin James goes 62?
Tyler: *laughs* Steven Cheah, like Tre White went 3rd round, he was a guy I was thinking about too.
Coley: Tre White's so good.
Tyler: There's so much, like towards the end I wanted a receiver but there's just so many good receivers, if you just give me Stafford, a + line because I got Zack Martin and just average receivers, we'll cook. There's just so many receivers now.
Coley: New England gets such a weird team in this.
Tyler: Oh boy.
Coley: We get Sam Darnold, which I would take that right now over real life.
Tyler: *laughs* Okay, yeah upgrade.
Coley: Yeah, TJ Watt.
Tyler: *scoffs* Very Patriotsy
Coley: Amari Cooper
Tyler: Okay.
Coley: and Frank Clark.
Tyler: Yikes.
Coley: The least New Englandy DE type available.
Tyler: *laughs* Okay would you trade your 4 best players right now for those 4 best players?
Coley: No.
Tyler: Who's your 4 best players right now? Gilmore, Juszczyk
Coley: Probably Gilmore *laughs* yeah.
Tyler: Yeah who's your legit best 4 now? Gilmore
Coley: It's been so long since i've thought about football, I literally need to pull up the roster.
Tyler: I feel like that's better than your core 4, i'd swap that. It'd suck to lose Gilmore but yeah I don't know, a lineman? Sony Michel maybe?
Coley: No I mean, Edelman's one of those four. Probably 4.
Tyler: He wasn't drafted here
Coley: That's crazy.
Tyler: It's just how many recievers there are, I didn't even pick one. I didn't even think about him and it's just like "oh yeah" and he wasn't even drafted. I'll pick him up later or if Edelman's part of average production, please give me average production!
Coley: It's weird cause some of our linemen had a down year last year after being elite the year prior so it's like are they elite or are they just okay?
Tyler: Mmm.
Coley: Joe Thuney, teams were trying to trade for him all offseason, he still might get traded. Shaq Mason had a huge year last year, not as good this most recent year. Marcus Cannon was massive last year. David Andrew is one of the best centers in the league, he had blood clots in his lungs last year and missed the whole year.
Tyler: Of those 4 you can only pick 2 for this excersise. So Gilmore and give me 2 of those guys. Is Edelman the 4th?
Coley: No in all honesty it's probably all secondary guys.
Tyler: Yeah was it Jonathan Jones?
Coley: Not even Jonathan Jones, JC Jackson.
Tyler: Jackson, Jackson, Jackson.
Coley: Jonathan Jones is nice too, that's the thing. Our whole
Tyler: Wait Jonathan Jones does play for y'all?
Coley: Yeah we have both.
Tyler: Okay yeah that's who I was thinkin' of, I thought I had one for the wrong team.
Coley: No cause we had another one who's now in Seattle who had a similar name so it fucks me up all the time too.
Tyler: Okay yeah so two secondary guys two offensive lineman.
Coley: Well no i'd say it's 2 of them, McCourty and Hightower would be our top 4.
Tyler: Not Gilmore?
Coley: No, Gilmore's one of those two corners.
Tyler: Okay I gotcha I gotcha
Coley: Because JC Jackson's one of those crazy pass deflection, doesn't allow a lot but he's our 2nd 3rd corner and the other corner's fuckin' Stephon Gilmore so he's really good, the scheme's really good, the whole secondary's really good.
Tyler: Alright.
Coley: It'd be one of those, who do you like more?
Tyler: You wouldn't trade that for Darnold, Watt, Cooper and Clark? That's a tough 4 man.
Coley: The trade is pinning Darnold on being that dude and i'm not sold that he is.
Tyler: In this exercise you give Darnold to Belichick though.
Coley: Yup!
Tyler: You're still not sold on him?
Coley: Not really, he's alright
Tyler: Man, i'd be
Coley: If it were Kyler i'd say yes
Tyler: Well he's already gone!
Coley: I'm trying to say a range, if it were Baker i'd say yes, if it were Stafford i'd say no, if it was Tua it'd be hard to say yes.
Tyler: I think it'd be hard to say no! Tua with Belichick? He'd coach for another 15 years! That alone.
Coley: He's gonna do that regardless.
Tyler: Yeah but he's gonna wanna do it now like "get my son outta here, I need a real coordinator!".
Coley: We can also, and I hate that I have to harp on this, just sign Cam Newton!
Tyler: No listen, no ones doing that! Stop trying to make Cam Newton happen, he's done! No i'm taking a 41 year old quarterback 8th.
Coley: Cam went 36th.
Tyler: Honest to god Brees is one of those when i looked like yeah if I can get an older guy in the second round, nope! How soon would you take a runningback? I know you'd take one like first, knowing how you operate, shady business.
Coley: It's interesting, if I were running Kansas City or San Francisco and I could get one on the swing with the early 2nds, I wouldn't hate that. But if someone like Julio's still on the board, i'm probably gonna take Julio.
Tyler: At 34 which one would you take, cause Dalvin goes 33. Would you take Saquon?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Nah!
Coley: *cracks up*
Tyler: The last pick of the 3rd round is Nick Chubb, I can do better, later.
Coley: And he's that teams RB2.
Tyler: Well they goin' 5-11 so
Coley: CeeDee Lamb goes before Keenan Allen? That feels weird.
Tyler: What also made me laugh, there are a lot of players on here who's teams just didn't want to pay them which is hilarious to me. In the top 128 players in the league, like Yannick Ngakoue, hates, won't even talk to his team! They hate each other! Dak was a top 10 pick and he still ain't been paid! Nobody wanted Jameis and he went 95th here, Rivers is an old man and he goes 4th round here, Dante Fowler Jr.? I don't know about that.
Coley: *laughs* 5'11 Dante Fowler Jr.
Tyler: *laughing* Who else, Trent Williams was here, I was like oh yeah he didn't even play because he hates his team so much. He went top of the 3rd round. Jarrett Stidham went 71, which is very funny.
Coley: Jarrett Stidham went ahead of a lot, like Jarrett Stidham went ahead of Jared Goff.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Why?
Tyler: Cause he's cool, I don't know.
Coley: Goff seems way cooler, all truth be told.
Tyler: I agree...Boy oh boy...
Coley: Darius Slay at 94.
Tyler: Yeah. Team could not get rid of him quick enough. A good bit of these I see why, like the Arizona guy picked Patrick Peterson of course. This would of been so much better if you got assigned a random team.
Coley: Right, instead of your own.
Tyler: Yeah. If you're the Cardinals writer, okay cool you get the Lions. We just want objective, you picked Patrick Peterson man come on.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Cincinnati picked Tyler Lockett with the last pick in the draft. Come on.
Coley: I like Tyler Lockett.
Tyler: 128th? Like the last 4 picks were Allen Robinson, DJ Moore, Terry McLaurin, and Tyler Lockett. I like all 4 of those guys, in any order. So if I know that's the quality of receiver goin' here I know i'll find some receivers. If below that is average? I'm fine with average.
Coley: Yeah, I think Tyler Lockett's a big step above average.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, I agree. So if average is anything below that, because he's really good.
Coley: Oh I gotcha.
Tyler: Listen Allen Robinson too.
Coley: Pretty much all these receivers who went ahead of him, he's better then. What happened here?
Tyler: You'd take Lockett over Ruggs? In this exercise for the next 5 years.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Golladay?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: I take Golladay there, that guy is nasty. Sutton?
Coley: He is, but Lockett, everytime I watch him play he's one of the best players on the field and Golladay's nice, no question about it but I think Lockett's like special. AJ Brown, he was tremendous as a rookie, I think Lockett's better. Metcalf, he's a freak, I think Lockett's better. Diggs, I think he's better than Diggs!
Tyler: *exhales* Nah, this man got 1 1,000 yard season Mick.
Coley: Yeah for sure, he plays in a historically dumb offense, no question. Amari Cooper, Keenan Allen that's the line. I'd definitely take Keenan Allen above him, Amari Cooper too. CeeDee Lamb, I love CeeDee Lamb's potential as much as anyone, I don't know if i'm trying to build a winner that i'm taking him a full round ahead of Tyler Lockett.
Tyler: I'd take Lamb ahead of him.
Coley: AJ Green...
Tyler: That's a wild one. A wild one. Like Godwin, Godwin's available in the 3rd round!
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Justin Herbert went 55th, like come on man.
Coley: Yeah I don't know why he went ahead of like Daniel Jones even.
Tyler: Yeah I agree, i'd take Daniel Jones over Herbert. Chase Young going 44, i'd take a good bit of the next 10 guys over Chase Young and I think Chase Young's gonna be incredible but over the next 5 years, Bobby Wagner nah. Henry, i'm not drafting that guy in a million years.
Coley: Period.
Tyler: Minkah Fitzpatrick, next 5 years would you take Minkah or Chase Young?
Coley: Minkah.
Tyler: I'd go Minkah. Tyron Smith? I'd go Young, I think Tyron Smith, his teeth getting longer, they not long yet. Cam Jordan or Chase Young?
Coley: Cam.
Tyler: Yeah. Kelce or Chase Young?
Coley: I'd have to see the rest of my team. All other 1 pick i've made.
Tyler: Tight End's is one of those, I think the gap from Elite to average is so big because you see like "oh boy they found a tight end who can only block from the left side, they're thrilled! They haven't had a guy who can do this for 10 years.". Odell Beckham went in the 50's which feels way too low.
Coley: 54, Von Miller went 53.
Tyler: His teeth getting longer man.
Coley: I guess but i'll take him a smooth 15 picks before.
Tyler: Yeah listen, Myles Garrett went 34. He's not quite Bosa brother but I think he's right up there underneath them.
Coley: For sure right there!
Tyler: So if he's there, yeah Dak or Myles Garrett?
Coley: Dak.
Tyler: Wentz or Myles Garrett?
Coley: I think Dak and Wentz are almost the same guy, so Wentz.
Tyler: Rodgers?
Coley: Yeah especially if it's just for 5 years, I gotta go Rodgers.
Tyler: Burrow and Brady?
Coley: They're both interesting, because Brady's just like Brees, how many more can he play, can he play 5? Probably not. Will Garrett be available for all 5? Who's to say!
Tyler: If he's still got another bonk in him, i'm takin' him first round. If I know i'm gettin' no bonks, he's top 20! Drew Lock, i'd take Myles Garrett before Drew Lock.
Coley: For sure, yeah for sure.
Tyler: Matt Ryan?
Coley: Yeah give me Garrett.
Tyler: I think that's about the line for me, because Matt Ryan, he's not elite but he's very good, he's in the high end of good, to be the pick after Drew Lock is disrespectful.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Three straight picks in a row, guys took their own quarterbacks. So a lot of fun in this hypothetical exercise guys, so much fun.
Coley: Yeah and two of those guys have played a grand total of like 4 combined games for those teams.
Tyler: *laughs* right, love it wow. Send in the boots! 18 Teddy Bridgewater, again I love Teddy B, i'm so glad he's gonna get to start and with an innovative offensive coach. 18? You take he or Myles Garrett?
Coley: Myles Garrett.
Tyler: Jimmy G or Myles?
Coley: If you tell me Myles guaranteed a minimum two bonkings, i'm still taking Garrett.
Tyler: He played 10 games last year, he had 10 sacks so how ever many games he's playing he's doing numbers. I can live with that. Christian McCaffery or Garrett?
Coley: I mean come on.
Tyler: McCaffrey I knew it, Baker? I'd go Garrett man, personally.
Coley: Garrett I know, no matter what he's gonna be a beast. Baker you gotta work with a little bit and hope he's a beast. So yeah i'm probably gonna take the known, Garrett.
Tyler: Michael Thomas
Coley: *laughs* I'd rather line Myles Garrett up at wide reciever.
Tyler: I think he could make the pro bowl
Coley: without question! Might have a few more drops but *shrugs*
Tyler: Khalil Mack, I think that's an interesting one.
Coley: Yeah if it's just 5 years, i'm probably taking Mack.
Tyler: Yeah, i'm not even saying the quarterbacks because it's like Darnold and Tannehill, they're easy. Deandre Hopkins? That's one of those because it's next 5, I might have to go Hopkins, but it's close.
Coley: It's also one of these things too like we were just talking about, there's so many really good receivers, like Odell Beckham went 54 and he can clearly be a WR 1.
Tyler: Noooo! You remember when he kicked that net? You think he's got it, are you kidding me?
Coley: There's too many good recievers, I'd rather Amari Cooper at the end of the 3rd as a WR1 and I can have Garrett well ahead of that, i'd probably do that.
Tyler: I don't disagree. Mike Evans goes next, I feel like that's about the range. Stafford or Myles Garrett?
Coley: *exhales*
Tyler: That feels about what his value is, this guy's what the 3rd best defensive end after the Bosa brothers, 4th defensive player overall if you include Donald, or the what best quarterback?
Coley: Because of where he got taken, i'm more inclined to say Stafford.
Tyler: It's better value.
Coley: Yeah it's just like, for some reason he's there at 28, cool. Then they get the 37th and they take Julio but it's like Jalen Ramsey's right there, TJ Watt, Chase Young.
Tyler: Davante
Coley: Minkah goes, Cam Jordan goes. So that's the thing, I could take Stafford and then Von Miller right there, i'd probably just rather do that.
Tyler: Ty Hill or Garrett?
Coley: Garrett.
Tyler: Kittle or Garrett?
Coley: I like my bonkings on field, probably say Kittle.
Tyler: Gilmore or Garrett?
Coley: You're asking the wrong person that question.
Tyler: Speak it!
Coley: I'm taking Gilmore
Tyler: Dalvin Cook?
Coley: Garrett.
Tyler: Then Garrett's the next pick after that.
Coley: He should of went late teens, early 20's
Tyler: Yeah, again I would take Garrett as early as, Drew Lock went 15, that's where the Garrett range starts immediately. If we're in Drew Lock territory, we're in Myles Garrett territory.
Coley: Listen, Drew Brees went 8th *laughs*
Tyler: 8th, are you kidding me? That was somebody puttin' a vote of support behind him, you know what i'm sayin'?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Drew Brees was like "hey man, I know you know i'm reading this hypothetical draft right now. Throw me a bone here"
Coley: Yeah I feel like they had this whole thing done like a week ago and then this Brees stuff happened and they're like "Sorry guys, we have to re-do literally all of it, i'm changing my pick at 8". They're like "you gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
Tyler: He's like "when we're outside i'll buy you all lunch, but I can't have this one on the resume, not now."
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Also, a kicker went!
Coley: Who?
Tyler: In the 4th round, Justin Tucker. Who Justin Tucker literally the best kicker of all time, tremendous, i'm not taking him in a 4 round core 4 draft. Not a chance.
Coley: Not if i'm getting a known average kicker.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: You can win a super bowl, in 5 years with an average kicker. I've seen it happen.
Tyler: The picks immediatly after Tucker at 99 are Jaire Alexander the corner, Stefon Diggs, Demarcus Lawrance, Tyrann Mathieu, Harrison Smith, Philip Rivers *under breath* bad pick, Frank Clark, Micah Hyde, AJ Brown, Eddie Jackson's still on the board, Jeff Okudah still on the board, Darius Leonard still on the board for some reason.
Coley: Yeah Darius Leonard got taken way too low, and honestly there aren't many linebackers who got taken to begin with which I understand it's cool to hate on them right now but there's a couple I would rather take over some of these players.
Tyler: I would rather have Darius Leonard over Justin Tucker, personally. Zack Martin who's made 6 straight all pro teams, Jedrick Wills is within 5 picks of Zack Martin. Zack Martin is on his way to the hall of fame, Jedrick Wills might, like I hope he is but c'mon man.
Coley: Yeah they were really high on a lot of guys who got drafted this year.
Tyler: Yeah which I hope is a great sign, I hope he's nice nice. I would love to see somebody put together an honorable mention, cause I know there's so many good names but there's no like who didn't get picked, because if you're just talking about these are the average guys? You can build a hell of a team, and I would not take 2 runningbacks and Tyrod Taylor.
Coley: *laughs* No that's a tough way to build a team *laughing*
Tyler: The first pick of the second round he took Tyrod Taylor man. I feel like if he's your backup, you're in great shape. If I have a core 4 pick, he's not makin' my core 4.
Coley: Yeah at that point too, if you're gonna get an average quarterback why even take one? Do you have to? Was that part of the drill.
Tyler: Yeah, you do have to take at least one quarterback.
Coley: Okay.
Tyler: Lemme make sure. I think you have to.
Coley: I was gonna say, i'd probably just punt on quarterback at that point.
Tyler: Yeah you do have to select a quarterback.
Coley: Well that's no fun.
Tyler: Even then, i'm tryna think of the quarterbacks that weren't selected. What's the gap between Tyrod Taylor and average is the question then.
Coley: Is there one? I mean he's pretty average.
Tyler: Yeah average as a starter, but if he's your backup, I feel like you're in good shape.
Coley: Is there a huge gap between Tannehill and Tyrod Taylor?
Tyler: Oh boy, they gon' yell at you. He couldn't have thrown 7 passes a game to get into the Conference finals!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I'm tryna think of guys that weren't drafted
Coley: at quarterback?
Tyler: Yeah like Fitzpatrick, Fitzpatrick's a league average quarterback. Dalton wasn't drafted, Gardner Minshew wasn't drafted. Trubisky, no dice. I would take Minshew before I take Philip Rivers, for the next 5.
Coley: Who's buddy in Washington?
Tyler: Dwayne Haskins?
Coley: Yeah, he didn't get drafted right?
Tyler: Yup, no Haskins, no Case Keenum
Coley: No Bortles
Tyler: No Foles, no Rosen.
Coley: I forgot about Foles
Tyler: Huh?
Coley: I was just thinkin', Foles. Buddy in New Orleans.
Tyler: Who?
Coley: The older, better Lamar Jackson.
Tyler: Taysom Hill, yeah.
Coley: Yeah these experts had their time to pick him 14th overall, they didn't!
Tyler: Right *laughs*
Coley: Andy Dalton, did he get taken?
Tyler: Nope! Yeah fuck him. No, like okay, if I didn't have to pick a quarterback and knew i'd get Minshew? C'mon. I don't think it's 32 better prospects for the next 5 years.
Coley: No. I might just be like I don't really care what the rules are, i'm taking Trevor Lawrence in the 2nd round!
Tyler: Yeah he'll fall to you after somebody takes Gostkowski, even though he's out of the league.
Coley: *laughing* I'm just trying to think of backups, Jake Fromm, i'd probably take him right after Brees.
Tyler: *exhales* Who else, AJ McCarron's still available, Glennon's still available. The Studs. Stidham, oh no somebody took Stidham.
Coley: Mariota.
Tyler: Yeah Mariota's available.
Coley: That's a pick like taking Stidham without Belichick, like I don't know about this.
Tyler: Yeah come on man. Of all the elite players, if this is how NFL teams think, I see why they stay bad! If the options are getting value at a position other than quarterback and it's like "no you have to get one" and if it doesn't work you have to pay more and more money, that will work.
Coley: I can't believe Matt Schaub is still in the league.
Tyler: Oh man. Josh Allen QB went before Josh Allen DE
Coley: Him going in the second round is disrespectful.
Tyler: Josh Allen?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: My Josh Allen right?
Coley: I'd rather have Josh Allen than Tannehill.
Tyler: I don't hate it, he was the last pick in the 2nd round. The pick directly ahead of him was Shaq Barrett.
Coley: No I mean the quarterback one.
Tyler: Oh yeah, i'd take him before Drew Brees, shit.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Hey man, we don't even know Drew Brees got one good one, we think he got one good one left. It's been 5 years and Teddy Bridgewater hasn't given us 5 good seasons
Coley: No.
Tyler: Some of those are for reasons he can't control, but I can't take him 18th knowing that!
Coley: Yeah would you rather have Teddy or Tua?
Tyler: Tua.
Coley: Teddy or Darnold.
Tyler: *exhales* I'd have to go Darnold.
Coley: What about Teddy or Cam?
Tyler: Carolina already made that choice
Coley: *laughs* I was gonna say
Tyler: It's wild disrespectful that Cam got picked 36th here and does not have a job man. Joe Flacco just had neck surgery and has a job.
Coley: Will not be ready for the beginning of the year
Tyler: Be ready to be bad!
Coley: This is the the thing, everyone keeps talking about the Patriots don't have enough cap space, they can't sign him. Right now they're bidding against no one.
Tyler: Bomani was like "would anybody be surprised surprised if he just walked away?" We can all agree he still loves football but if he's like "I know i'm better than more than half these guys if i'm healthy and I gotta go scrap and be backup to some guy i'm better than? Fuck that"
Coley: It's one of these things, if he is healthy, and he goes to battle a Jarrett Stidham, he's gonna blow him outta the fuckin' water, it won't be a battle.
Tyler: I think if he went there and got healthy and had a great year, they'd give Belichick the credit.
Coley: For sure but I also think we'd pay him.
Tyler: I hope, *laughs* I'd hope y'all pay him right now and ain't nobody paying him right now Mick!
Coley: Let's say we can't open up cap space for this year, which there are always ways around that, but lets say we just do have that million or whatever we have...You could sign him to a 5 year, or a 2 year deal if he doesn't wanna put 5 on it he's like "no I wanna build myself back up". You could sign him to a 2 year deal worth whatever the fuck you want it to be, pay him 1 this year, pay him the rest the next year, or you cut him.
Tyler: Yeah put an option on it, yeah there's ways to do it.
Coley: Because everything i've heard we have all the cap space in the world next year. This year it's just we don't, so okay!
Tyler: For next year, would rather Cam Newton for the minimum or Philip Rivers for 25 million dollars?
Coley: It's not even a discussion.
Tyler: It's not even to say, like for the next year is Philip Rivers better than Cam? Sure i'm fine with that. Is he gonna be 25x better?
Coley: No.
Tyler: I mean I don't even know what Cam's veteran minimum is, a couple million? So is he gonna be 12x better? No way! It ain't baseball, there's a finite amount of cap space. So him getting 25 and I think he got 2 years!
Coley: He sure did.
Tyler: Like "well he didn't have a line last year"...well he's a lot older this year so..I don't know
Coley: It is one of those things like if the virus wasn't happening and he was able to take physicals with teams would he still be unsigned? I don't know but the rederick and the way people talk about it, is unlike anything i've ever seen with a quarterback.
Tyler: I don't wanna say athlete, but I don't know if i've ever seen anything like it from a football player. Another thing Bomani was saying "even if people hate Cam they will not admit he's good. They won't even admit he was ever good". He's not the first quarterback to be hated right but Drew Brees, I would never say Drew Brees was a bad quarterback, that's just a lie.
Coley: Right, I hate Peyton Manning, I would never say he was bad.
Tyler: Oh yeah, terrible. Like this man won an MVP and people are like "He was never good, it was a fluke". He fluke won MVP!?
Coley: He fluke carried a mediocre Auburn team to a national championship, we all saw it.
Tyler: Boy oh boy, and yeah.
Coley: What is it? Why do you think it is? He's a black quarterback so there's already that but there's other black quarterbacks, they don't get what he gets.
Tyler: What's the opposite of a perfect storm?
Coley: A bright and sunny day? I don't know
Tyler: Going into Florida he's one behind the golden boy already, like no matter what he did in practice, he wasn't gonna start over Tebow, then he got into some trouble and transferred, strike 1. That was the first public strike against him. But like stealing some laptops, if it was some heinous shit for sure but he stole some laptops, okay! I'm sure he did his community service or whatever, okay. Then gets to Blinn, dominates, comes to Auburn but then theres the whole paying scandal which
Coley: First person that's ever happened with.
Tyler: Yeah. Strike 2, then I think it was beatin' Bama man.
Coley: *cracks up*
Tyler: I think that was the one, i'm not even kidding because the way the beat Bama on the way to a title because in Bama they don't have a pro team but all these people still hate Cam Newton.
Coley: They revere Bo Jackson for doing the same shit.
Tyler: Bo Jackson wasn't playing a thinking mans position. Anything you hear about Bo Jackson is "what an athletic marvel, freak" and he was for sure.
Coley: So was Cam Newton!
Tyler: Well no, no no. He doesn't get that credit. I think that turned the tide and then he got drafted immediately. Him getting paid left a horrible taste in peoples mouth, I have no idea why. People think he's cocky or self righteous, it's like yeah so is every good player ever! He types funny, that was strike 4.
Coley: He accounted for all 4 touchdowns in that Alabama game.
Tyler: They were down what, 27-0?
Coley: I think it was 24
Tyler: It was 4 scores, cause I should of gotten that tweet off then but I ain't have the vision.
Coley: No you didn't. It says "The time Cam Newton led 24 Point Comeback Against Alabama"
Tyler: 24, that's what it was. You go down 24, like on the way to a title run? It was at Bama yeah?
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: Yeah and so you do that at Bama and it was a wrap until it wasn't and boy oh boy a bunch of people were like i'm gonna hate that guy forever, he broke my heart, imma hate that guy forever.
Coley: This is from the Associated Press recap
Tyler: Mhm
Coley: "Tuscaloosa, Alabama- Cam Newton ran around Bryant-Denny Stadium with a hand over his mouth, having hushed up those who might have thought his shot at the national title was done, along with the Heisman Trophy. He's very much on track for both, thanks to his most audacious performance yet in this season of triumph and controversy." *laughs* Why even include controversy?. "No one had ever rallied a team to victory over Alabama after trailing by 24 points. That's just what Newton did Friday, leading No. 2 Auburn to a stunning 28-27 triumph that kept the Tigers in the thick of the BCS championship race and might have swayed any Heisman voters who had their doubts about voting for a guy hounded by unsavory allegations." You don't have to end every paragraph like this *laughs*
Juice time yuh yuh, juice time yuh yuh.
[The End]
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Tyler: For a one year rental would you do Jaylen?
Coley: No. Jaylen dunks on him every single time when we play, they're basically the same player when we really look at it.
Tyler: That's why Milwaukee's like "Yeah we want him, give us him!"
Coley: Yeah no, for a one year rental. No.
Tyler: That's fair.
Coley: They can get Hayward.
Tyler: Tatum, Giannis, Kemba's a tough 3 though.
Coley: Real tough. Someone tried to tweet at me after our last episode and do the Player A, Player B but I already knew both players when they tweeted it at me. They were like *mocking voice* "Well what player would you take!". It was all just contextless, would you believe, shooting percentages and what have you. I was like in no world am I taking Gordon Hayward over Kemba Walker, are you insane? Is that even a sane person? Even Gordon Hayward doesn't think that!
Tyler: He's shooting almost 50/40/90 almost shooting, right?
Coley: Right! Getting covered by the other team's 4th best defender with wide open looks, yeah. Kemba get's the other team's 2nd best defender always and he's shooting-
Tyler: And he stinks, I get it!
Coley: -well, creating for himself. Yeah no, this isn't the same conversation, what are we talking about?
Tyler: Would you do a Kemba for a Giannis rental?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: I was gonna say, you have to do that, right?
Coley: For sure, without question. That'd actually be interesting too, because that, remember I was explaining how they're kind of forced into re-signing Hayward just based on how everything is?
Tyler: Mhm.
Coley: If they were to get, and I like Kemba, i'm not trying to trade him but if they were able to get his money off the books and then fully off the books with Giannis leaving, then they wouldn't have to re-sign him. Then you're really only looking at paying Jaylen and Tatum, so there's still some money there. That'd actually be interesting.
Tyler: 44-38.
Coley: For a year, then they'd have like max room next year, when everyone's available.
Tyler: Yeah and Danny Ainge can punt it all away again!
Coley: Yeah that Ainge, never one to make a move.
Tyler: P.U., horrible. Horford? P.U! Hayward? P.U! Irving? P.U! I don't know why this guy keeps getting contracts.
Coley: *laughing* But yeah, are you kidding me, if you just get Kemba and Hayward in Milwaukee for some reason, you guys that's a solid 4 you can trot out. Then yeah you just drop Giannis in for a year with those two?
Tyler: Whewwww
Coley: I don't know why he'd leave that situation but yeah if for some reason he did, yeah.
Tyler: We don't know why Kawhi would leave the Raptors man. Until Uncle Dennis was given some stock options. I like it.
Coley: Trust me, we could take 34 down, out of the rafters and give it to Giannis! If that's the straw that's breakin' the camels back.
Tyler: That's just how it should be. I don't know how it turned from talking about the Hornets and how Michael Jordan's a bad owner and it turned into abolishing the draft somehow. I don't know how we got there.
Coley: *laughs* Abolish is hot on people's tongues these days.
Tyler: Maybe that's what it was, people are still like "Could you imagine Cleveland if they didn't get Kyrie and these teams-". I was like yes! I could imagine incompetent teams not being rewarded, I would like that. A guy was like "If there was no draft Atlanta would never get players!". I'm like it ain't goin' too hot for us now and even if it was! I don't know if people think it's just gonna be 12 all stars in LA?
Coley: Again, there's only so many roster spots.
Tyler: Yeah! It's only so many roster spots, it's only so many LA's, Miami's, New Yorks. I feel like we're in a place now with the league, that would be the answer so you wouldn't have to contract any franchise. If you just reshuffle your talent like that. You would get stars teaming up in the big cities and whatever but from 1 to i'd say 100, there are just so many solid players, so even if you are like a Memphis, Indiana whatever, it's like "well okay, if we just get all our pick of players from 30 on? We'll still make a good team."
Coley: I think when people talk about this, like the Lakers, is Zion going to the Lakers? Probably not.
Tyler: Right. It depends on what he wants, would he for money purposes or for the sake of his brand or whatever? Maybe, but probably not!
Coley: If you look at it, why wouldn't he of just gone to Miami cause he could of had all that branding potential and big city, a young team, that isn't overshadowed by other stars. Maybe it is him and RJ Barrett linking up somewhere together. Somethin' like that.
Tyler: Yeah!
Coley: I just think it opens up a whole bunch of super interesting ways to go about building a roster, it's like "hey man, we don't have the LeBron AD teamup power that LA has, we don't have even the second LA team with Kawhi and Paul George but man oh man do we kill. We have 7 players ranked 31st-49th and they're all 7th year guys ready to go.". Like that's terrifying.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, like it's gonna be a couple teams that can't compete but kinda like we have a couple teams who can't compete now! Cause they all stink. How the Knicks big market hasn't helped, how Chicago's the 3rd biggest market and they've stunk for years. So-
Coley: Outside of one player, in the history of basketball.
Tyler: Boy oh boy, and it took 2 teams passing on him! Luck, you talk about luck. Yeah, but is that a bad thing? I would love to have a couple big stars in Chigago. Chicago seemed amazing when Jordan and Pippen was cooking.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Why would it be a bad thing if guys just started going to where they're from and linking up with those guys, if guys started, if all the Kentucky guys were like "we're all just going somewhere, we're a package deal". I'm trying to find the list of the best 75 players, the one they just did, like current players. Even if you just get enough of 50-75 guys and run your team well, which seems like the biggest thing.
Coley: You'd also still see tremendous misses, especially these guys who do wanna stay home. Imagine if Chicago was just biding their time for a few years to get Jahlil Okafor? How much that would of fucked them over? "Like no we're gonna get him and Cliff Alexander, that's gonna be our 4,5 for the next decade!"
Tyler: "We're set! Passed on that Davis kid, he was 6-1, skinny as a rail, he's got no future!"
Coley: "This is Curry, Tyson Chandler but better!" It's like, no, no actually it's worse!
Tyler: Again, it'd be a thing, do those guys wanna go there? Okay, can you offer, rookies are on a scale now so I think it'd have to be some type of rookie scale, I don't think it could be like "yeah somebody wants to pay Zion 5/250". Like well, on his second contract but on the first one negotiate whatever they can afford, whatever you want. If he does want, like okay i'll go to LA for a million dollars because I know my endorsements will quadruple it.
Coley: Be crazy, yeah.
Tyler: Or if he's like, yeah I wanna go play with my guys, give them the money. Or we'll take less money, we want good teammates with us, I just wanna play with RJ and Cam or whoever he wants to play with. They have the 99th best player, I think going into this season, Terrance Ross! Jarrett Allen's in the 90's, Kuzma, Joe Harris 95? Way too high!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Dejounte Murray 94, again a line up of just these guys is decent! Like Murray, Joe shootin', Kuzma gettin' a fit off. Boy oh boy, well they had Bam 93, so this is very funny.
Coley: That's kind of the point, Bam wasn't that highly loved coming out of the draft. It makes me think about Jaylen too, like he went 3rd but people said that was a reach on draft day so where would he have gone on an open market?
Tyler: Yeah! It's got Dinwiddie 92, who averaged 20 a game this year. Lavine's 90, who averaged 25 a game this year. So like okay, you could get good teams. I'd love to get Seattle back in the mix, cause the all Seattle team might just-
Coley: Be a problem!
Tyler: Yeah, is that so bad? "You wanna just see all these terrible teams just not have talent". Yeah! I'm fine with that, the smart ones will figure it out, they always do.
Coley: Right, and there will always be terrible teams. No matter what, draft or no draft.
Tyler: No matter how many teams! You could cut the league back to 12 teams and we'd still consistently have like 2 bad teams. That's just how it goes, some will always be bad!
Coley: Yeah. Do you think if there was no draft in 2003, LeBron still would of went to Cleveland?
Tyler: Mmm, in 2003, I do. Yeah I do
Coley: I do too.
Tyler: I do. He probably would of still regretted it but uh. *laughs* But yeah for the first one, and maybe that's kinda the thing, if these guys can, like AD outta was like "I'd like to go to Chicago". "Lemme see if I can get this done here".
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Or go to LA and people would just be against this for some reason.
Coley: Cause change! People are automatically, we're seeing it with way more important shit right now. People are just adverse to change, any change is scary.
Tyler: Yeah! I don't know, the league is broken Mick. Trae Young is at 30 & 10 a night and it's like "nope he can't play defense" and nobody cares.
Coley: The MLB just cut like 30 rounds off its draft, something crazy and it wasn't that big of a story, I saw some people talking about it but it's the MLB Draft, nobody cares.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: The MLB Draft is just constant flop after flop, 1st round picks.
Tyler: Mhm.
Coley: Supposed to be blue chip guys, like imagine if it was Anthony Bennett year after year in the NBA. You wouldn't care either. All the really good players were signed in some micro-transaction you didn't really see because they came from some Puerto Rican academy or the Dominican or something like that.
Tyler: 12 years old.
Coley: Yeah! So it’s like that guy's just been in our system for 9 years, he climbed up to the number 2 overall prospect in baseball, now he's our franchise shortstop, making 7.25 an hour.
Tyler: Yeah for the first 6 years, whaddya know!
Coley: If MLB just got rid of the draft, and it's gonna be mostly free agents now since they cut so many fuckin' rounds, I think it's an interesting thing to look and see how it gets done over there.
Tyler: I feel it's so many busts in that major league draft, because they draft for who they can sign. That's a horrible, like "no this guy's better we don't wanna pay that much, we don't know if we can sign this guy so we're gonna take this worse guy, who no he's still pretty good but he'll sign with us.". Well he didn't work out? You don't say, and the superstar guy who you didn't wanna pay an extra 500K to ended up making 6 all star teams. Whaddya know. It's tough.
Coley: Mark Appel he was draft out of high school in '09, I can't see the rounds here, he was like "Nah, i'm gonna go to Stanford instead". Happens all the time, then in 2012, he was drafted by the Pirates 8th and say no and went back, then in '13 he was the 1st overall pick, and he's done nothing.
Tyler: Listen I love the power though.
Coley: Oh yea!
Tyler: Imagine the first year Emoni Bates comes out and he's like "*grimace* no". That's another thing, do you wanna see these franchise talent's come out and get wasted by Charlotte or somebody? Why would you not, at least Detroit waste him. Let him waste away at home damnit.
Coley: I think they may try and pull a LeBron to Cleveland with him.
Tyler: As long as he's with it too. That's the point, all I want is for them to have the option. Whatever he chooses, if he goes there and he's like "I'll go home, but they're gonna have to pay me the rookie max.", and they're like "okay!"
Coley: Yeah, no problem.
Tyler: "Okay and I want, y'all gonna have to sign a couple of my boys too.". "Sure! What ever you want. I'm fine with that, let 'em ride on the team plane."
Coley: Not for Doc Rivers he won't.
Tyler: No. What a dope.
Coley: *laughs* He's like listen "First guy on the team, 15th guy on the team? Doesn't matter, same rules.". Well that's dumb.
Tyler: Yeah I feel like that's how you lose a team, they're like "C'mon man, aye c'mon man"
Coley: "Nope Scott Burrell and Michael Jordan, same guy in my eyes!". Mike's like "No, don't do this. I'm telling you don't do this"
Tyler: "I don't play favorites!"
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Tyler: Did you see the NFL redraft?
Coley: I was, yup! *laughs* Literally what I was about to do. I was thinking in my brain, Iversons birthday? nN there was something else, the NFL redraft! Much needed comic relief in these uncertain times.
Tyler: Yeah...I did need that one. I did need that one, it took me some hours to pour over, I couldn't believe it.
Coley: So I haven't even gotten out of the first round yet, because I wanted to save it for this.
Tyler: Oh boy, I poured over every bit. I did a random number generator and got #21 and built my team, and I feel so good about my team.
Coley: So the Cincinnati Bengals, so they just went with this years draft.
Tyler: It's a couple rules, like salary cap doesn't matter, you have to pick a quarterback, non quarterback offensive player, defensive player, and the 4th pick's a wild card, it can be anything. 2020 draft order but it's 4 rounds and the picks are snake order.
Coley: Oh okay.
Tyler: The rest of the roster's made up with average NFL level talent. Our analytics team identifies that as Offensive Tackle Donovan Smith, EDGE Rusher Harold Landry or Cornerback Malcolm Butler. Wow.
Coley: Okay!
Tyler: And the goal is to win a super bowl within 5 years.
Coley: That I did see. So what was the first pick that made you laugh out loud?
Tyler: Number 8.
Coley: Yup! *laughs*
Tyler: Number 8
Coley: This is one of those things where someone needs to be held accountable.
Tyler: Oh yeah.
Coley: Whoever made that pick.
Tyler: They did let the people defend it, so you can see the mindset behind some of these horrible people. Who was number 8, Mick? Read it for the people!
Coley: It's the one and only Drew Brees!
Tyler: Drafted by Josh Weinfuss, Cardinals reporter. "Brees might not have 5 years left-"
Coley: No *scoffs laughing*
Tyler: "But he for sure has a good 1 or 2 left, so I immediately went into win now mode, I followed with arguabl-" well that goes into his other stuff, but.
Coley: Yeah, give the rest of Arizona's picks because I wanna hear those with Brees.
Tyler: Let's see, let's see. Yeah first round, 8 he got Drew Brees, 2 pick 57 overall he got Chandler Jones, round 3 pick 72 AJ Green, round 4 121 Patrick Peterson
Coley: So two Cardinals!
Tyler: 2 current Cardinals, a guy who hasn't played a game since December 2018 and a 41 year old man. That's your win now team.
Coley: So his win now team, he could've just had Kyler here too and the Cardinals are good to go. We're ready.
Tyler: Yeah, listen, listen they already did that! Kyler's better than Brees and Deandre's better then AJ Green! Like they're-
Coley: *laughs heartily*
Tyler: How do you do a fantasy draft and make your team worse?
Coley: *laughs* I did forget, which is also one of the funnier picks in this draft, pick number 26. Houston, Deandre Hopkins.
Tyler: *laughing* Bill O'Brien's like "Ah man, I fucked up. That guy's cold!"
Coley: I don't wanna jump that far ahead yet, so Cincinnati Patrick Mahomes, I think everyone in the world agrees that's the right pick.
Tyler: On the level.
Coley: Number 2, and I think 2-4 is more preference but I think they have the correct 4.
Tyler: I agree.
Coley: Number 2, Redskins get Russell Wilson.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: Number 3, Detroit get reigning MVP Lamar Jackson.
Tyler: Tough scene when the reigning MVP goes 3rd and everybody's like "No that's about right".
Coley: Listen, i'd probably take him 4, but that's neither here nor there.
Tyler: I'd take him 14th! No.
Coley: 3rd round!
Tyler: He stinks.
Coley: Number 4, the Giants get Deshaun Watson.
Tyler: So far so good.
Coley: Number 5!
Tyler: I agree with this one too.
Coley: Miami takes Aaron Donald.
Tyler: Yeah it's like "okay, I don't want a quarterback. I need the next best other player". Fine with it.
Coley: Guess my question would be who do they get in round 2, because you're now waiting a long time since it is snake.
Tyler: Yeah, lets see, Miami with their 2nd round they got Zeke Elliot.
Coley: They sure did.
Tyler: Kirk Cousins.
Coley: *laughs* Oh boy.
Tyler: And Kevin Byard.
Coley: Kevin Byard.
Tyler: I gotta say, listen Drew Brees went 8th, Kirk Cousins went in the third round and just beat him?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I don't hate that team, that team is way better than the Cardinals, that were jus drafted.
Coley: Yeah it is, and they had a slightly better pick but-
Tyler: Who would you go with at 5?
Coley: I don't hate Donald there, but I'd probably within these 10-15 picks, I don't think i'm looking anywhere other than quarterback.
Tyler: So who? I'm saying who's 5th right there? Because I do think it's those 4, then there's a line to the next. I mean Mahomes is a line by himself
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: So if not Donald, what quarterback's worthy of 5?
Coley: If it's just 5 years,
Tyler: Don't do it, don't say it.
Coley: Thinkin' about sayin' it.
Tyler: You're gonna say it.
Coley: Now i'm just trying to put him up against Aaron Donald and I don't even know if I could do that. Cam Newton in the real world, doesn't even have a job so I might just take him 4th round last pick *laughing*
Tyler: Listen he went 36th in this draft but doesn't have a job in real life, you tell me how that's even cool dog? C'mon man.
Coley: *laughing* I'm tryna see, who's the last quarterback who went? Ben Roethlisberger went 91, Jameis went 95, Tyrod went 97. Surprised he was drafted at all.
Tyler: Listen, that guy drafted the worst team.
Coley: Kansas City?
Tyler: Yes, he drafted Tyrod, Nick Chubb
Coley: He took two running backs!
Tyler: Yeah he did! Dalvin Cook and Stephon Gilmore. I was like respectfully, I like all 4 of those guys. That team's winning 5 games.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Max! Like this is fantasy dog, how? But yeah what other quarterback? The one's who went right after that, Brees. Would you take Brees at 5?
Coley: For sure not.
Tyler: *laughs* Dak Prescott?
Coley: It's debatable.
Tyler: Wentz?
Coley: Again, yeah I think it's debatable.
Tyler: Rodgers?
Coley: Yeah, that's who I was thinking of.
Tyler: I don't hate it. Burrow?
Coley: If I thought he was the highest upside young guy, cause we're seeing how Deshaun, Mahomes, Lamar and Russell Wilson all acclimated to the league so quickly. If I thought he had the highest upside, yeah maybe. It'd probably be Kyler if I was tryna go with one of the young guys.
Tyler: We're buildin', cause theres a couple of guys ahead of Kyler.
Coley: Yeah there sure are.
Tyler: Brady went after that, to Tampa Bay. Drew Lock!
Coley: Well tell the whole story, they completely punted picks 14, 15, 16 in this mock draft.
Tyler: Yeah, Brady, Lock, 16 Atlanta Matt Ryan. Listen Atlanta loves Matt Ryan, i'm not gonna say they hate him, but you talk about in a fantasy draft?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: C'mon man. Don't bullshit me. Kyler the number 1 pick last year who won Rookie of the Year, like did what he was supposed to do, went behind Drew Lock, who went in the 2nd round last year and didn't start the season. Like what? Huh?
Coley: *laughing* Listen, he's not tall enough for Denver. You know that.
Tyler: Boy oh boy. Teddy Bridgewater! C'mon man.
Coley: Yeah no ones stock has improved more by doing very little than Teddy Bridgewater. If they did this last year, does he even get picked?
Tyler: No!
Coley: Of course not.
Tyler: And again it's not a knock, if he's there in the 4th round, yeah give me Teddy as my quarterback. 18th overall? Come on man. 20 of the first 32 picks were quarterbacks, there are not 20 good quarterbacks. So you know, you're not getting-
Coley: How many do you think there are?
Tyler: Good quarterbacks, lets see. Let's start at the top, Mahomes, good.
Coley: Alright if we're gonna do hot takes, you can just save us the exercise.
Tyler: *laughs* Russ, 2. Lamar, 3. Deshaun, 4. Brees, 5. Dak, 6. Wentz, 7. Rodgers, 8. Burrow's the 9th one here, I think he'll be good but
Coley: We don't know.
Tyler: I was gonna say, I can't put a grade on him yet. Brady's good. Drew Lock's another one, he's shown good things but I can't comfortably say he's a good quarterback.
Coley: For sure, for sure.
Tyler: Matt Ryan's good. Kyler, I think it's fair to say Kyler's good.
Coley: Kyler's good.
Tyler: Yeah, Kyler's good. Teddy Bridgewater, I wouldn't call him good.
Coley: No.
Tyler: Jimmy Garoppolo,
Coley: He got 'em to a super bowl-
Tyler: Yeah I would lean towards good, but I could see a case for him not being. Lemme tell you what he's not, the 19th overall pick in a fantasy draft. That's chaos. Baker Mayfield, can be good but I wouldn't say he's a good quarterback right now.
Coley: No but I would lean good.
Tyler: Sam Darnold, same way, I feel the same as Baker. Ryan Tannehill, that man ain't have a job 12 months ago, now that was clearly a mistake but now you're telling me you'd take him over anybody? C'mon man.
Coley: Taking him over Stafford feels crazy.
Tyler: Yeah, like would you say Tannehill's good?
Coley: No.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, like had a great year but let me see 1 more season and i'll put you in here.
Coley: That's the kind of pick where if I build 3 other players and I get him in the fourth.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Because clearly the Titans have a very solid roster, half the definition of guys who were league average were fuckin' on their roster.
Tyler: *laughs* right.
Coley: So yeah, if I can get him in the 4th with 3 really solid players. Yeah I love that. 25? No.
Tyler: Absolutely. No. So, Tannehill, no. Stafford, I think Stafford's good and Tua, Tua's the 20th one, he's the same as Burrow. I can't say. So how many are not good? Tannehill's not good, 1. Darnold, 2. Baker, 3. Teddy, 4. Drew Lock, 5.
Coley: So there's about 15?
Tyler: Let's see, 5, a couple rookies. So yeah, 15ish good quarterbacks.
Coley: Yeah so if I had, like Green Bay taking Tua at 30, I like that. Especially getting another pick in 2 seconds like not a ton of talents gonna be gone, you'll still get a premier player at 35.
Tyler: Absolutely. That's who I went with for my random one, just cause yeah if you think he's that guy, same as Burrow. If you think he's that guy, and he's that guy immediately, in 5 years you can win a super bowl with him.
Coley: Right and I would say the same for Baker and Darnold in these 30's as well. I think we have enough tape on Ryan Tannehill to be like "Ehh, I'd rather one of these young guys instead of him.".
Tyler: Yeah, I don't hate it.
Coley: So yeah, probably within the top 10, like I don't hate Aaron Donald because he is that deal and I know there's been a lot of talk about Ronnie Stanley lately, like he's gonna be the highest paid non-quarterback in the league, he's probably the best tackle in the league. I can't evaluate tackles like that, I know bad ones but I can't tell you who's elite vs who's just very good.
Tyler: Right.
Coley: I don't know if i'd take him 6th.
Tyler: I don't hate it because it's like at 6 I need that most elite player.
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Would I rather have the best tackle in the league or, like 4 quarterbacks are already gone so like Dak Prescott or Ronnie Stanley? Especially on the other end, i'm tryna see who'd they put with him? The Chargers
Coley: They take Z'Darius Smith in the 2nd round, then they take
Tyler: Daniel Jones, yeah I don't hate that. A young guy that showed some potential, we've got the best left tackle keeping him up. I don't hate that. I'm just amazed that 20 quarterbacks went 1st round, there's not 20 good quarterbacks. 1 offensive lineman went.
Coley: What I don't like about their draft, I get the elite argument, is they took 2 offensive linemen out of their 4 picks. If you're telling me I get the 14th ranked line, i'm probably am not taking any lineman in this exercise.
Tyler: I could see that but like if it's just I need a blue chip, like I just want the best player regardless of postition.
Coley: For sure but that's why I'd just lean the guy who went next and the guy who's already on their team.
Tyler: I bet you would. *laughing*
Coley: *laughs* I'm takin' Joey Whalberg number 6.
Tyler: I'm kinda surprised, you'd go Joey over Nick? Just given a free draft of them right now? Cause I think if we're projecting forward, Joey's still incredible but christ Joey wasn't what Nick was his rookie year and he was incredible his rookie year, so.
Coley: He was.
Tyler: They went what 2 picks apart? 3 picks apart? 7 and
Coley: Yeah they went 7 & 10, so clearly
Tyler: I'd take either one of them guys before Drew Brees. That's a fact.
Coley: Without question.
Tyler: Would you rather Bosa or Dak?
Coley: *thinking*
Tyler: That's another one, like do you want the 5th, 6th and there are still people that don't think Dak is good!
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: So we got to 15 with a generous grading curve.
Coley: I'm just trying to see, this is where it's like how big fo you think the gap is between both Bosa's and Myles Garrett and Chase Young. Well Chase Young went way too high in this but
Tyler: I agree!
Coley: Cam Jordan, Danielle Hunter, Chandler Jones, you know what I mean?
Tyler: Yeah. I agree. So you'd go Dak?
Coley: That's where I see liking Aaron Donald more than, because there is a huge gap between him and the next best DT. DE I feel like there are, and the Bosa's are special, there's no doubting that but I feel like there's a lot of special DE's right now.
Tyler: Alright, alright.
Coley: Like you're telling me I can get Danielle Hunter this fucking late?
Tyler: Very late.
Coley: Where'd he go? 56! Like yeah i'm doing that all day.
Tyler: Listen the team I drafted, I just randomly did a generator and they gave me 21 which pissed me off. I was like I wish I was a liar man I would of just been like "wow 6th pick! awesome". They got Baker Mayfield in the first round, they got Chase Young in the second round, they got Lane Johnson in the 3rd round and they got AJ Brown in the 4th round. The team I picked I went Matthew Stafford in the first round, I went Chandler Jones second round, I went Jamal Adams third round cause Jamal Adams was available in the 3rd round for some reason, and I went Zack Martin in the 4th round. I was like if i'm going offensive linemen I need it to be one of the best, and he's one of the best and I got him in the 4th round. He's making the same All-Pros Ronnie Stanley is, now at a less important position but if he's upgrading my line like that. Him, Stafford and then Chandler Jones and Jamal Adams on my defense? I'm beatin' the shit outta the Chiefs.
Coley: Yeah. So you did it based on how the actual draft board fell and then whoever was available after that?
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Okay.
Tyler: Yeah otherwise, I took Mahomes 21, Aaron Donald was available at pick 56
Coley: I didn't know if you ran like a full simulator, you loaded up Madden and were like "no no, i've got the 21st pick. whoever's available."
Tyler: Yeah no I just took whoever was available in and around that, cause at 21, cause I was like i'm gonna get a quarterback later but it came to a point, it was like nah a good bit of the good ones and even the young ones are gone so I got Stafford 21, I was like i'm fine with that. He went 28 in the real one. I'd take him over Baker for the next 5 years.
Coley: Just lookin' at the board now because from then to their next pick-
Tyler: 21's so trash cause even the snake is trash dude.
Coley: Yeah it is.
Tyler: You don't get within a top 10 pick on either side of it.
Coley: No but like you could get, *exhales* I might just take Cam at 21.
Tyler: Alright, enough.
Coley: When he's healthy he's better than Stafford yes?
Tyler: I don't know man, when Cam had an 8 great games and got hurt, he's done. When Stafford had a great 8 games and got hurt it's like, no we just gotta get this guy healthy, he's elite.
Coley: I might take Gilmore there just to say, alright I have an elite corner there opposite an average corner.
Tyler: Mmm.
Coley: That feels pretty enticing, and then on the other end *exhales*
Tyler: It's such a trash pick dude.
Coley: It is. Not a fun pick to have.
Tyler: I'll also say, yeah of course I drafted mine with hindsight because my original second pick I was like i'm going Minkah Fitzpatrick but then I realized I could get Jamal Adams in the third. So they didn't have that type of foresight but even if I went with my first picks, i'm beating the hell out of the Cardinals man. That team stinks.
Coley: Derwin James goes 62?
Tyler: *laughs* Steven Cheah, like Tre White went 3rd round, he was a guy I was thinking about too.
Coley: Tre White's so good.
Tyler: There's so much, like towards the end I wanted a receiver but there's just so many good receivers, if you just give me Stafford, a + line because I got Zack Martin and just average receivers, we'll cook. There's just so many receivers now.
Coley: New England gets such a weird team in this.
Tyler: Oh boy.
Coley: We get Sam Darnold, which I would take that right now over real life.
Tyler: *laughs* Okay, yeah upgrade.
Coley: Yeah, TJ Watt.
Tyler: *scoffs* Very Patriotsy
Coley: Amari Cooper
Tyler: Okay.
Coley: and Frank Clark.
Tyler: Yikes.
Coley: The least New Englandy DE type available.
Tyler: *laughs* Okay would you trade your 4 best players right now for those 4 best players?
Coley: No.
Tyler: Who's your 4 best players right now? Gilmore, Juszczyk
Coley: Probably Gilmore *laughs* yeah.
Tyler: Yeah who's your legit best 4 now? Gilmore
Coley: It's been so long since i've thought about football, I literally need to pull up the roster.
Tyler: I feel like that's better than your core 4, i'd swap that. It'd suck to lose Gilmore but yeah I don't know, a lineman? Sony Michel maybe?
Coley: No I mean, Edelman's one of those four. Probably 4.
Tyler: He wasn't drafted here
Coley: That's crazy.
Tyler: It's just how many recievers there are, I didn't even pick one. I didn't even think about him and it's just like "oh yeah" and he wasn't even drafted. I'll pick him up later or if Edelman's part of average production, please give me average production!
Coley: It's weird cause some of our linemen had a down year last year after being elite the year prior so it's like are they elite or are they just okay?
Tyler: Mmm.
Coley: Joe Thuney, teams were trying to trade for him all offseason, he still might get traded. Shaq Mason had a huge year last year, not as good this most recent year. Marcus Cannon was massive last year. David Andrew is one of the best centers in the league, he had blood clots in his lungs last year and missed the whole year.
Tyler: Of those 4 you can only pick 2 for this excersise. So Gilmore and give me 2 of those guys. Is Edelman the 4th?
Coley: No in all honesty it's probably all secondary guys.
Tyler: Yeah was it Jonathan Jones?
Coley: Not even Jonathan Jones, JC Jackson.
Tyler: Jackson, Jackson, Jackson.
Coley: Jonathan Jones is nice too, that's the thing. Our whole
Tyler: Wait Jonathan Jones does play for y'all?
Coley: Yeah we have both.
Tyler: Okay yeah that's who I was thinkin' of, I thought I had one for the wrong team.
Coley: No cause we had another one who's now in Seattle who had a similar name so it fucks me up all the time too.
Tyler: Okay yeah so two secondary guys two offensive lineman.
Coley: Well no i'd say it's 2 of them, McCourty and Hightower would be our top 4.
Tyler: Not Gilmore?
Coley: No, Gilmore's one of those two corners.
Tyler: Okay I gotcha I gotcha
Coley: Because JC Jackson's one of those crazy pass deflection, doesn't allow a lot but he's our 2nd 3rd corner and the other corner's fuckin' Stephon Gilmore so he's really good, the scheme's really good, the whole secondary's really good.
Tyler: Alright.
Coley: It'd be one of those, who do you like more?
Tyler: You wouldn't trade that for Darnold, Watt, Cooper and Clark? That's a tough 4 man.
Coley: The trade is pinning Darnold on being that dude and i'm not sold that he is.
Tyler: In this exercise you give Darnold to Belichick though.
Coley: Yup!
Tyler: You're still not sold on him?
Coley: Not really, he's alright
Tyler: Man, i'd be
Coley: If it were Kyler i'd say yes
Tyler: Well he's already gone!
Coley: I'm trying to say a range, if it were Baker i'd say yes, if it were Stafford i'd say no, if it was Tua it'd be hard to say yes.
Tyler: I think it'd be hard to say no! Tua with Belichick? He'd coach for another 15 years! That alone.
Coley: He's gonna do that regardless.
Tyler: Yeah but he's gonna wanna do it now like "get my son outta here, I need a real coordinator!".
Coley: We can also, and I hate that I have to harp on this, just sign Cam Newton!
Tyler: No listen, no ones doing that! Stop trying to make Cam Newton happen, he's done! No i'm taking a 41 year old quarterback 8th.
Coley: Cam went 36th.
Tyler: Honest to god Brees is one of those when i looked like yeah if I can get an older guy in the second round, nope! How soon would you take a runningback? I know you'd take one like first, knowing how you operate, shady business.
Coley: It's interesting, if I were running Kansas City or San Francisco and I could get one on the swing with the early 2nds, I wouldn't hate that. But if someone like Julio's still on the board, i'm probably gonna take Julio.
Tyler: At 34 which one would you take, cause Dalvin goes 33. Would you take Saquon?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Nah!
Coley: *cracks up*
Tyler: The last pick of the 3rd round is Nick Chubb, I can do better, later.
Coley: And he's that teams RB2.
Tyler: Well they goin' 5-11 so
Coley: CeeDee Lamb goes before Keenan Allen? That feels weird.
Tyler: What also made me laugh, there are a lot of players on here who's teams just didn't want to pay them which is hilarious to me. In the top 128 players in the league, like Yannick Ngakoue, hates, won't even talk to his team! They hate each other! Dak was a top 10 pick and he still ain't been paid! Nobody wanted Jameis and he went 95th here, Rivers is an old man and he goes 4th round here, Dante Fowler Jr.? I don't know about that.
Coley: *laughs* 5'11 Dante Fowler Jr.
Tyler: *laughing* Who else, Trent Williams was here, I was like oh yeah he didn't even play because he hates his team so much. He went top of the 3rd round. Jarrett Stidham went 71, which is very funny.
Coley: Jarrett Stidham went ahead of a lot, like Jarrett Stidham went ahead of Jared Goff.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Why?
Tyler: Cause he's cool, I don't know.
Coley: Goff seems way cooler, all truth be told.
Tyler: I agree...Boy oh boy...
Coley: Darius Slay at 94.
Tyler: Yeah. Team could not get rid of him quick enough. A good bit of these I see why, like the Arizona guy picked Patrick Peterson of course. This would of been so much better if you got assigned a random team.
Coley: Right, instead of your own.
Tyler: Yeah. If you're the Cardinals writer, okay cool you get the Lions. We just want objective, you picked Patrick Peterson man come on.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Cincinnati picked Tyler Lockett with the last pick in the draft. Come on.
Coley: I like Tyler Lockett.
Tyler: 128th? Like the last 4 picks were Allen Robinson, DJ Moore, Terry McLaurin, and Tyler Lockett. I like all 4 of those guys, in any order. So if I know that's the quality of receiver goin' here I know i'll find some receivers. If below that is average? I'm fine with average.
Coley: Yeah, I think Tyler Lockett's a big step above average.
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, I agree. So if average is anything below that, because he's really good.
Coley: Oh I gotcha.
Tyler: Listen Allen Robinson too.
Coley: Pretty much all these receivers who went ahead of him, he's better then. What happened here?
Tyler: You'd take Lockett over Ruggs? In this exercise for the next 5 years.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Golladay?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: I take Golladay there, that guy is nasty. Sutton?
Coley: He is, but Lockett, everytime I watch him play he's one of the best players on the field and Golladay's nice, no question about it but I think Lockett's like special. AJ Brown, he was tremendous as a rookie, I think Lockett's better. Metcalf, he's a freak, I think Lockett's better. Diggs, I think he's better than Diggs!
Tyler: *exhales* Nah, this man got 1 1,000 yard season Mick.
Coley: Yeah for sure, he plays in a historically dumb offense, no question. Amari Cooper, Keenan Allen that's the line. I'd definitely take Keenan Allen above him, Amari Cooper too. CeeDee Lamb, I love CeeDee Lamb's potential as much as anyone, I don't know if i'm trying to build a winner that i'm taking him a full round ahead of Tyler Lockett.
Tyler: I'd take Lamb ahead of him.
Coley: AJ Green...
Tyler: That's a wild one. A wild one. Like Godwin, Godwin's available in the 3rd round!
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Justin Herbert went 55th, like come on man.
Coley: Yeah I don't know why he went ahead of like Daniel Jones even.
Tyler: Yeah I agree, i'd take Daniel Jones over Herbert. Chase Young going 44, i'd take a good bit of the next 10 guys over Chase Young and I think Chase Young's gonna be incredible but over the next 5 years, Bobby Wagner nah. Henry, i'm not drafting that guy in a million years.
Coley: Period.
Tyler: Minkah Fitzpatrick, next 5 years would you take Minkah or Chase Young?
Coley: Minkah.
Tyler: I'd go Minkah. Tyron Smith? I'd go Young, I think Tyron Smith, his teeth getting longer, they not long yet. Cam Jordan or Chase Young?
Coley: Cam.
Tyler: Yeah. Kelce or Chase Young?
Coley: I'd have to see the rest of my team. All other 1 pick i've made.
Tyler: Tight End's is one of those, I think the gap from Elite to average is so big because you see like "oh boy they found a tight end who can only block from the left side, they're thrilled! They haven't had a guy who can do this for 10 years.". Odell Beckham went in the 50's which feels way too low.
Coley: 54, Von Miller went 53.
Tyler: His teeth getting longer man.
Coley: I guess but i'll take him a smooth 15 picks before.
Tyler: Yeah listen, Myles Garrett went 34. He's not quite Bosa brother but I think he's right up there underneath them.
Coley: For sure right there!
Tyler: So if he's there, yeah Dak or Myles Garrett?
Coley: Dak.
Tyler: Wentz or Myles Garrett?
Coley: I think Dak and Wentz are almost the same guy, so Wentz.
Tyler: Rodgers?
Coley: Yeah especially if it's just for 5 years, I gotta go Rodgers.
Tyler: Burrow and Brady?
Coley: They're both interesting, because Brady's just like Brees, how many more can he play, can he play 5? Probably not. Will Garrett be available for all 5? Who's to say!
Tyler: If he's still got another bonk in him, i'm takin' him first round. If I know i'm gettin' no bonks, he's top 20! Drew Lock, i'd take Myles Garrett before Drew Lock.
Coley: For sure, yeah for sure.
Tyler: Matt Ryan?
Coley: Yeah give me Garrett.
Tyler: I think that's about the line for me, because Matt Ryan, he's not elite but he's very good, he's in the high end of good, to be the pick after Drew Lock is disrespectful.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Three straight picks in a row, guys took their own quarterbacks. So a lot of fun in this hypothetical exercise guys, so much fun.
Coley: Yeah and two of those guys have played a grand total of like 4 combined games for those teams.
Tyler: *laughs* right, love it wow. Send in the boots! 18 Teddy Bridgewater, again I love Teddy B, i'm so glad he's gonna get to start and with an innovative offensive coach. 18? You take he or Myles Garrett?
Coley: Myles Garrett.
Tyler: Jimmy G or Myles?
Coley: If you tell me Myles guaranteed a minimum two bonkings, i'm still taking Garrett.
Tyler: He played 10 games last year, he had 10 sacks so how ever many games he's playing he's doing numbers. I can live with that. Christian McCaffery or Garrett?
Coley: I mean come on.
Tyler: McCaffrey I knew it, Baker? I'd go Garrett man, personally.
Coley: Garrett I know, no matter what he's gonna be a beast. Baker you gotta work with a little bit and hope he's a beast. So yeah i'm probably gonna take the known, Garrett.
Tyler: Michael Thomas
Coley: *laughs* I'd rather line Myles Garrett up at wide reciever.
Tyler: I think he could make the pro bowl
Coley: without question! Might have a few more drops but *shrugs*
Tyler: Khalil Mack, I think that's an interesting one.
Coley: Yeah if it's just 5 years, i'm probably taking Mack.
Tyler: Yeah, i'm not even saying the quarterbacks because it's like Darnold and Tannehill, they're easy. Deandre Hopkins? That's one of those because it's next 5, I might have to go Hopkins, but it's close.
Coley: It's also one of these things too like we were just talking about, there's so many really good receivers, like Odell Beckham went 54 and he can clearly be a WR 1.
Tyler: Noooo! You remember when he kicked that net? You think he's got it, are you kidding me?
Coley: There's too many good recievers, I'd rather Amari Cooper at the end of the 3rd as a WR1 and I can have Garrett well ahead of that, i'd probably do that.
Tyler: I don't disagree. Mike Evans goes next, I feel like that's about the range. Stafford or Myles Garrett?
Coley: *exhales*
Tyler: That feels about what his value is, this guy's what the 3rd best defensive end after the Bosa brothers, 4th defensive player overall if you include Donald, or the what best quarterback?
Coley: Because of where he got taken, i'm more inclined to say Stafford.
Tyler: It's better value.
Coley: Yeah it's just like, for some reason he's there at 28, cool. Then they get the 37th and they take Julio but it's like Jalen Ramsey's right there, TJ Watt, Chase Young.
Tyler: Davante
Coley: Minkah goes, Cam Jordan goes. So that's the thing, I could take Stafford and then Von Miller right there, i'd probably just rather do that.
Tyler: Ty Hill or Garrett?
Coley: Garrett.
Tyler: Kittle or Garrett?
Coley: I like my bonkings on field, probably say Kittle.
Tyler: Gilmore or Garrett?
Coley: You're asking the wrong person that question.
Tyler: Speak it!
Coley: I'm taking Gilmore
Tyler: Dalvin Cook?
Coley: Garrett.
Tyler: Then Garrett's the next pick after that.
Coley: He should of went late teens, early 20's
Tyler: Yeah, again I would take Garrett as early as, Drew Lock went 15, that's where the Garrett range starts immediately. If we're in Drew Lock territory, we're in Myles Garrett territory.
Coley: Listen, Drew Brees went 8th *laughs*
Tyler: 8th, are you kidding me? That was somebody puttin' a vote of support behind him, you know what i'm sayin'?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Drew Brees was like "hey man, I know you know i'm reading this hypothetical draft right now. Throw me a bone here"
Coley: Yeah I feel like they had this whole thing done like a week ago and then this Brees stuff happened and they're like "Sorry guys, we have to re-do literally all of it, i'm changing my pick at 8". They're like "you gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
Tyler: He's like "when we're outside i'll buy you all lunch, but I can't have this one on the resume, not now."
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Also, a kicker went!
Coley: Who?
Tyler: In the 4th round, Justin Tucker. Who Justin Tucker literally the best kicker of all time, tremendous, i'm not taking him in a 4 round core 4 draft. Not a chance.
Coley: Not if i'm getting a known average kicker.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: You can win a super bowl, in 5 years with an average kicker. I've seen it happen.
Tyler: The picks immediatly after Tucker at 99 are Jaire Alexander the corner, Stefon Diggs, Demarcus Lawrance, Tyrann Mathieu, Harrison Smith, Philip Rivers *under breath* bad pick, Frank Clark, Micah Hyde, AJ Brown, Eddie Jackson's still on the board, Jeff Okudah still on the board, Darius Leonard still on the board for some reason.
Coley: Yeah Darius Leonard got taken way too low, and honestly there aren't many linebackers who got taken to begin with which I understand it's cool to hate on them right now but there's a couple I would rather take over some of these players.
Tyler: I would rather have Darius Leonard over Justin Tucker, personally. Zack Martin who's made 6 straight all pro teams, Jedrick Wills is within 5 picks of Zack Martin. Zack Martin is on his way to the hall of fame, Jedrick Wills might, like I hope he is but c'mon man.
Coley: Yeah they were really high on a lot of guys who got drafted this year.
Tyler: Yeah which I hope is a great sign, I hope he's nice nice. I would love to see somebody put together an honorable mention, cause I know there's so many good names but there's no like who didn't get picked, because if you're just talking about these are the average guys? You can build a hell of a team, and I would not take 2 runningbacks and Tyrod Taylor.
Coley: *laughs* No that's a tough way to build a team *laughing*
Tyler: The first pick of the second round he took Tyrod Taylor man. I feel like if he's your backup, you're in great shape. If I have a core 4 pick, he's not makin' my core 4.
Coley: Yeah at that point too, if you're gonna get an average quarterback why even take one? Do you have to? Was that part of the drill.
Tyler: Yeah, you do have to take at least one quarterback.
Coley: Okay.
Tyler: Lemme make sure. I think you have to.
Coley: I was gonna say, i'd probably just punt on quarterback at that point.
Tyler: Yeah you do have to select a quarterback.
Coley: Well that's no fun.
Tyler: Even then, i'm tryna think of the quarterbacks that weren't selected. What's the gap between Tyrod Taylor and average is the question then.
Coley: Is there one? I mean he's pretty average.
Tyler: Yeah average as a starter, but if he's your backup, I feel like you're in good shape.
Coley: Is there a huge gap between Tannehill and Tyrod Taylor?
Tyler: Oh boy, they gon' yell at you. He couldn't have thrown 7 passes a game to get into the Conference finals!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I'm tryna think of guys that weren't drafted
Coley: at quarterback?
Tyler: Yeah like Fitzpatrick, Fitzpatrick's a league average quarterback. Dalton wasn't drafted, Gardner Minshew wasn't drafted. Trubisky, no dice. I would take Minshew before I take Philip Rivers, for the next 5.
Coley: Who's buddy in Washington?
Tyler: Dwayne Haskins?
Coley: Yeah, he didn't get drafted right?
Tyler: Yup, no Haskins, no Case Keenum
Coley: No Bortles
Tyler: No Foles, no Rosen.
Coley: I forgot about Foles
Tyler: Huh?
Coley: I was just thinkin', Foles. Buddy in New Orleans.
Tyler: Who?
Coley: The older, better Lamar Jackson.
Tyler: Taysom Hill, yeah.
Coley: Yeah these experts had their time to pick him 14th overall, they didn't!
Tyler: Right *laughs*
Coley: Andy Dalton, did he get taken?
Tyler: Nope! Yeah fuck him. No, like okay, if I didn't have to pick a quarterback and knew i'd get Minshew? C'mon. I don't think it's 32 better prospects for the next 5 years.
Coley: No. I might just be like I don't really care what the rules are, i'm taking Trevor Lawrence in the 2nd round!
Tyler: Yeah he'll fall to you after somebody takes Gostkowski, even though he's out of the league.
Coley: *laughing* I'm just trying to think of backups, Jake Fromm, i'd probably take him right after Brees.
Tyler: *exhales* Who else, AJ McCarron's still available, Glennon's still available. The Studs. Stidham, oh no somebody took Stidham.
Coley: Mariota.
Tyler: Yeah Mariota's available.
Coley: That's a pick like taking Stidham without Belichick, like I don't know about this.
Tyler: Yeah come on man. Of all the elite players, if this is how NFL teams think, I see why they stay bad! If the options are getting value at a position other than quarterback and it's like "no you have to get one" and if it doesn't work you have to pay more and more money, that will work.
Coley: I can't believe Matt Schaub is still in the league.
Tyler: Oh man. Josh Allen QB went before Josh Allen DE
Coley: Him going in the second round is disrespectful.
Tyler: Josh Allen?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: My Josh Allen right?
Coley: I'd rather have Josh Allen than Tannehill.
Tyler: I don't hate it, he was the last pick in the 2nd round. The pick directly ahead of him was Shaq Barrett.
Coley: No I mean the quarterback one.
Tyler: Oh yeah, i'd take him before Drew Brees, shit.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Hey man, we don't even know Drew Brees got one good one, we think he got one good one left. It's been 5 years and Teddy Bridgewater hasn't given us 5 good seasons
Coley: No.
Tyler: Some of those are for reasons he can't control, but I can't take him 18th knowing that!
Coley: Yeah would you rather have Teddy or Tua?
Tyler: Tua.
Coley: Teddy or Darnold.
Tyler: *exhales* I'd have to go Darnold.
Coley: What about Teddy or Cam?
Tyler: Carolina already made that choice
Coley: *laughs* I was gonna say
Tyler: It's wild disrespectful that Cam got picked 36th here and does not have a job man. Joe Flacco just had neck surgery and has a job.
Coley: Will not be ready for the beginning of the year
Tyler: Be ready to be bad!
Coley: This is the the thing, everyone keeps talking about the Patriots don't have enough cap space, they can't sign him. Right now they're bidding against no one.
Tyler: Bomani was like "would anybody be surprised surprised if he just walked away?" We can all agree he still loves football but if he's like "I know i'm better than more than half these guys if i'm healthy and I gotta go scrap and be backup to some guy i'm better than? Fuck that"
Coley: It's one of these things, if he is healthy, and he goes to battle a Jarrett Stidham, he's gonna blow him outta the fuckin' water, it won't be a battle.
Tyler: I think if he went there and got healthy and had a great year, they'd give Belichick the credit.
Coley: For sure but I also think we'd pay him.
Tyler: I hope, *laughs* I'd hope y'all pay him right now and ain't nobody paying him right now Mick!
Coley: Let's say we can't open up cap space for this year, which there are always ways around that, but lets say we just do have that million or whatever we have...You could sign him to a 5 year, or a 2 year deal if he doesn't wanna put 5 on it he's like "no I wanna build myself back up". You could sign him to a 2 year deal worth whatever the fuck you want it to be, pay him 1 this year, pay him the rest the next year, or you cut him.
Tyler: Yeah put an option on it, yeah there's ways to do it.
Coley: Because everything i've heard we have all the cap space in the world next year. This year it's just we don't, so okay!
Tyler: For next year, would rather Cam Newton for the minimum or Philip Rivers for 25 million dollars?
Coley: It's not even a discussion.
Tyler: It's not even to say, like for the next year is Philip Rivers better than Cam? Sure i'm fine with that. Is he gonna be 25x better?
Coley: No.
Tyler: I mean I don't even know what Cam's veteran minimum is, a couple million? So is he gonna be 12x better? No way! It ain't baseball, there's a finite amount of cap space. So him getting 25 and I think he got 2 years!
Coley: He sure did.
Tyler: Like "well he didn't have a line last year"...well he's a lot older this year so..I don't know
Coley: It is one of those things like if the virus wasn't happening and he was able to take physicals with teams would he still be unsigned? I don't know but the rederick and the way people talk about it, is unlike anything i've ever seen with a quarterback.
Tyler: I don't wanna say athlete, but I don't know if i've ever seen anything like it from a football player. Another thing Bomani was saying "even if people hate Cam they will not admit he's good. They won't even admit he was ever good". He's not the first quarterback to be hated right but Drew Brees, I would never say Drew Brees was a bad quarterback, that's just a lie.
Coley: Right, I hate Peyton Manning, I would never say he was bad.
Tyler: Oh yeah, terrible. Like this man won an MVP and people are like "He was never good, it was a fluke". He fluke won MVP!?
Coley: He fluke carried a mediocre Auburn team to a national championship, we all saw it.
Tyler: Boy oh boy, and yeah.
Coley: What is it? Why do you think it is? He's a black quarterback so there's already that but there's other black quarterbacks, they don't get what he gets.
Tyler: What's the opposite of a perfect storm?
Coley: A bright and sunny day? I don't know
Tyler: Going into Florida he's one behind the golden boy already, like no matter what he did in practice, he wasn't gonna start over Tebow, then he got into some trouble and transferred, strike 1. That was the first public strike against him. But like stealing some laptops, if it was some heinous shit for sure but he stole some laptops, okay! I'm sure he did his community service or whatever, okay. Then gets to Blinn, dominates, comes to Auburn but then theres the whole paying scandal which
Coley: First person that's ever happened with.
Tyler: Yeah. Strike 2, then I think it was beatin' Bama man.
Coley: *cracks up*
Tyler: I think that was the one, i'm not even kidding because the way the beat Bama on the way to a title because in Bama they don't have a pro team but all these people still hate Cam Newton.
Coley: They revere Bo Jackson for doing the same shit.
Tyler: Bo Jackson wasn't playing a thinking mans position. Anything you hear about Bo Jackson is "what an athletic marvel, freak" and he was for sure.
Coley: So was Cam Newton!
Tyler: Well no, no no. He doesn't get that credit. I think that turned the tide and then he got drafted immediately. Him getting paid left a horrible taste in peoples mouth, I have no idea why. People think he's cocky or self righteous, it's like yeah so is every good player ever! He types funny, that was strike 4.
Coley: He accounted for all 4 touchdowns in that Alabama game.
Tyler: They were down what, 27-0?
Coley: I think it was 24
Tyler: It was 4 scores, cause I should of gotten that tweet off then but I ain't have the vision.
Coley: No you didn't. It says "The time Cam Newton led 24 Point Comeback Against Alabama"
Tyler: 24, that's what it was. You go down 24, like on the way to a title run? It was at Bama yeah?
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: Yeah and so you do that at Bama and it was a wrap until it wasn't and boy oh boy a bunch of people were like i'm gonna hate that guy forever, he broke my heart, imma hate that guy forever.
Coley: This is from the Associated Press recap
Tyler: Mhm
Coley: "Tuscaloosa, Alabama- Cam Newton ran around Bryant-Denny Stadium with a hand over his mouth, having hushed up those who might have thought his shot at the national title was done, along with the Heisman Trophy. He's very much on track for both, thanks to his most audacious performance yet in this season of triumph and controversy." *laughs* Why even include controversy?. "No one had ever rallied a team to victory over Alabama after trailing by 24 points. That's just what Newton did Friday, leading No. 2 Auburn to a stunning 28-27 triumph that kept the Tigers in the thick of the BCS championship race and might have swayed any Heisman voters who had their doubts about voting for a guy hounded by unsavory allegations." You don't have to end every paragraph like this *laughs*
Tyler: Listen, this is what happens when nobody likes Cam Newton, every single article has this slant. Not even all Alabama fans, but they all hate him like this. He's disgusting.
Coley: "Newton again rallied a team that has trailed in 8 of it's 12 games"
Tyler: No other player on offense played a single snap in the NFL from that Auburn offense.
Coley: Nick Fairley was the only one who got drafted on defense right?
Tyler: I think so, he got drafted and then I think like one other random defensive lineman or something got signed to play a few games but nobody from the offense. He don't even get the credit in college! When you talk about the ideal, or building the best season he don't even get brought up! It's like Tebow, Burrow this past season, it's like man Burrow did numbers but god forbid you put Cam in the LSU system with Justin Jefferson and JaMarr Chase and all those guys.
Coley: I did think their tight end, Philip Lutzinkirken, was gonna be in the league because he just had an all time tight end name
Tyler: Great tight end name yeah. I think he had a couple years.
Coley: "That's the type of team we have, we just never give up" said an Auburn player not named Cam Newton. It's cause you have Cam Newton, why don't you just say that dude!
Tyler: Man oh man.
Coley: Auburn trailed 21-0 before it even picked up a 1st down.
Tyler: Yeah that was the thing, it wasn't just fluke stuff. They were getting whooped, people was lovin' it.
Coley: Alabama had a 314-2 lead in total yards. 314-2!
Tyler: I remember this, boy...Man oh man.
Coley: Newton's day started with a rendition of "Take the Money and Run" blaring over the loud speakers in warmups.
Tyler: Yup, piss 'em off!
Coley: Jesus Christ, Newton didn't do much on the ground. Crazy they even won this game cause that's all he can do!
Tyler: He's a bum! I heard you
Coley: "Newton, who hasn't spoken to the media in 2 and a half weeks, kept up his no comment policy after the game". *laughs*
Tyler: Smart man. Strike 4, media hates him.
Coley: If you don't talk to the media, they will not like you. No wonder every paragraph ends off with a "by the way".
Tyler: Yeah "by the way, fuck this guy, he was very mean to me.". Then I remember in the national championship he came out and went for a touchdown when his coach told him to take a knee like before they were setting up for the game winning field goal and he tried to sneak it in and got stopped. That came out somehow, cause people don't like Cam Newton! How does that even come out? Cause people don't like Cam Newton. Gruden was showing him pictures and Cam was comparing himself to a gun on the quarterback camp, I could see how that could rub some people the wrong way. Gene Chizik has a championship because of Cam Newton, i'm trying to think of an NBA comparison
Coley: Tyronn Lue has a championship because of LeBron James.
Tyler: Not even because at the very least, Lue's above average. Gene Chizik not.
Coley: He's gotta be above average.
Tyler: Gene Chizik stinks dude.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *laughs* He had that 14-0 season
Coley: He's still there right?
Tyler: No no, that's the offensive coordinator, the guy with the glasses.
Coley: Oh that's right
Tyler: Yeah he's the good one.
Coley: You're right, I got you.
Tyler: I can not think of his name.
Coley: I got confused
Tyler: Malzahn!
Coley: Gus Malzahn, yeah.
Tyler: Malzahn was the coordinator, Malzahn was the good one.
Coley: Fuckin' 2 weird last name guys in a row.
Tyler: Chizik went 3-9 at Iowa State in '07, 3-9, 2-10 the next year and got the Auburn job, but white privilege is not real, you hear me, you understand what i'm saying Mick? This man went 5-19 for 2 years at Iowa State and got the Auburn job.
Coley: And then they won the national championship, I notice you're leavin' that part of the story out.
Tyler: Yeah they won 8 games the first year, then got Cam Newton, went 14-0. 8-5, 3-9, and he's out. He had Cam Newton on his team and his career record at Auburn is 14 games about .500. They went 14-0 that Cam Newton season, hmm. His total record for his career is 38-38, like he is the middest coach ever.
Coley: So it'd be like George Karl.
Tyler: Yeah. Who's a bad NBA coach now? Mike Miller, nah he's good. Feel like there's a lot of good coaches. I don't want to say it out loud but.
Coley: Jim Boylen?
Tyler: Yeah, it'd be like if Boylen ran up a title one year and just lived off that. Gene Chizik's on tv right now because he can't coach, he's better on TV, i'll give him that.
Coley: Julio put up a casual 10 reception 199 yard day. *laughs* 1 touchdown
Tyler: True to form!
Coley: Runnin all those yards, couldn't find the last one.
Tyler: Chizik after he got fired from Auburn he got 7.5 million dollars, he was named defensive coordinator at North Carolina the next year. His 2015 and 2016 defense was ranked 96th and 63rd respectably. He resigned.
Coley: Listen, there are a lot of schools.
Tyler: Listen, 96th is bad dude!
Coley: *laughs* I know
Tyler: I don't think you understand Mick. 63 is the improvement, he's like "guys I just don't got it.". Malzahn should have that title, he's the head coach in my eyes damnit.
Coley: Yeah, he's still cookin' now.
Tyler: Then Cam came and he wore funny clothes, you remember that? That was strike 6
Coley: Lotta hats
Tyler: Lotta hats, 7.
Coley: Him and Melo both put those hats on and people were like "no we're not fuckin' with you". *laughing*
Tyler: Out, out! I think a lot of it is, watching Cam in theory is a lot more fun than in practice. It's fun when he's cooking and over the course he makes the plays that need to be made, but in theory in your head you're thinking of Cam breakin' a 40 yard run, sneakin' in a couple times and he does it when he needs to but it's a lot of incomplete passes, he was never a very accurate quarterback.
Coley: He was before he got hurt this last time.
Tyler: Well that doesn't count, he's not Matt Stafford Mick, what are you even saying dude.
Coley: Yeah no for sure, there are gonna be times where he sails it the fuck over somebody's head
Tyler: Yeah and it's one of those "There it is Withers, Tyrod Taylor missed that throw, get him out of Buffalo!"*laughs* Oh this year? You wanna talk about this year, he completed 56% of his passes Mick.
Coley: That guy could barely stand.
Tyler: Yeah, who's fault is that!
Coley: The Patriots! Ironically enough.
Tyler: The year before he played 14 games and head a career high in completion percentage, by far. 68% and it's just so wild that like, people think Philip Rivers has enough in the tank left but that guy doesn't?
Coley: No.
Tyler: Like both of them were available and one of them got 25 million dollars.
Coley: We watched that Carolina game against Tampa Bay, in the office, when they had the ball at the one yard line with a chance to win and he's such a large human being and he couldn't, he didn't have enough strength and faith in his own foot to just fall forward. Then they ran some bullshit ass play, that did not work and it was just like of course, he's clearly not healthy if he can't just fall forward even.
Tyler: "Well maybe he's done"... I'll take a chance on him being done over Joe Flacco being healthy, by far.
Coley: Like if you believe in Stidham, which like, he could be fine, every time I bring up this Cam shit everyone's like "why don't you believe in Stidham". I don't believe nor disbelieve in him, he's show me nothing to have any opinion on him.
Tyler: Nobody knows.
Coley: If he is better than Cam Newton, he'll show that. Belichick's not gonna play Stidham just because he needs to prove something, if him and Cam Newton are in the same camp and one's clearly outperforming the other, he's gonna go with that guy. He doesn't care who it is, so why would anyone care if Cam came in and made it a competition? If Stidham's that nice it shouldn't matter.
Tyler: I get yeah COVID, the world ending, all that has slowed down workouts but teams, I think the Dolphins came out afterwards like "yeah we found a way to work out Tua." Of course they did! If a team was interested they could have all his information, maybe it's a worse than we think thing but I would again take him over, it feels like an upside downside, and the downside is he's hurt again, he's not the answer. It is what it is, you paid a lot of money you didn't give up a pick for him. The upside is, not even MVP form but if he can get into a year ago form, career high completion percentage. That upside feels tremendous for what it takes to get him.
Coley: We're not talking about like the Bears, we're talking about Bill Belichick. You get him with a healthy Cam Newton, we already know the defense is top 5, are the recievers the best, no, the running back staple's very good, the line's fine, so you put Cam Newton there. He made a super bowl with mid recievers before and not as good of a defense as this.
Tyler: Or coach.
Coley: Right! So like I don't know what i'm missing other than the fact that he types weird.
Tyler: He beat Bama 10 years ago. No, even with the Bears with Foles, "it's not saying we're giving up on Foles, just giving him a little competition." A fourth rounder and taking on Foles contract? Or just signing Cam. Foles was out and i'm sure he's back by now but he's missed some time too!
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Then he came back at the end and got his job taken and teams were like "No a 4th rounder absolutely.". He must be sending in workout tape to teams and he can't stand up.
Coley: Holding the wrong ball entirely!
Tyler: *laughing* Just footage of him above the waist like FDR.
Coley: "Why's he got that blankey with him!"
Tyler: *laughing* he just throws it and flash cuts to the ball flying 60 yards like no i'm clearly fine!
Coley: Jamarcus Russell on one knee coming out of LSU.
Tyler: Yeah *laughs* Like "Why wouldn't he show his legs"
Coley: I've seen videos of him working out, using his legs no less! That obviously doesn't tell the whole story but he looks pretty fuckin' healthy to me!
Tyler: Todd Gurley got cut cause they found out he got arthritis and he got a job immediatly!
Coley: He plays a more important position though Tyler.
Tyler: And he only got 5 million dollars! What would it take to get that Newton fella? He has the injuries but unless it's like degenerative things, and even then a one year contract!
Coley: How degenerative?
Tyler: Let's give him 1 and an option, lets see.
Coley: Yeah, i've never been like, give Cam Newton a 7 year 200 million dollar deal. That'd be crazy, now if he comes out and plays like the MVP again, then maybe we have that conversation next offseason. There are a lot of steps that have to happen between now and then for that to even be a conversation.
Tyler: I'll believe in any quarterback rehabilitation after Michael Vick went to FEDERAL PRISON and came back and finished 2nd in MVP.
Coley: Well he only did like a month?
Tyler: Weekends really! Even then man, club fed he was in there like Martha Stewart camp. This man came out of prison and got to MVP form, so if you've got it and you're willing to work on it, you don't lose that. I'd much rather bet on that over anything Matt Schaub has as a back up to over me, anything!
Coley: Having a backup who stinks is just punting your season if your quarterback gets hurt. I know Justis and those guys like when the Eagles took Hurts they were like "If your QB2 is such a substantial drop off from your QB1, it doesn't matter if you're injury prone or not"
Tyler: Everyone's injury prone in the NFL, that shit's violent!
Coley: Wentz is one who will take a risk so he is injury prone and if your QB2 fuckin' stinks, and Philedelphia won a Super Bowl because their backup wasn't a complete drop off."
Tyler: They know they can coach up a guy to at least 80% of that. Yeah.
Coley: So Jalen Hurts in the second round, makes sense. I understand people are pissed off it's not a receiver but if you're telling me we have a super bowl roster, then if our quarterback gets hurt then taking that guy to have that insurance, is worth something.
Tyler: Again, that makes a lot more sense to me than Jordan Love. For that same exact thing, I get he's supposed to be the heir apparent but if Rodgers breaks his collarbone again right now, is Jordan Love ready? Hopefully. Guys are contributing really fast so hopefully. If you have Peyton Manning where he knew to just fall before he got hit, it's probably not smart to take a quarterback in the 2nd, you're just wasting an asset, get him a receiver, get him a lineman. Wentz, if you know you're gonna get him for 10-13 games but he's nice? We'll plan for the other 3. Fitzpatrick, that's a fine backup option. Matt Barkley, if Josh Allen goes out and Matt Barkley comes in, a good bit of Josh Allen's value is his ability to run around, Davis Webb and Jake Fromm are after him so that's cool. Jacoby Brissett, still making money. Glennon, Logan Woodside is the backup QB for the Titans?
Coley: I have no idea who that is.
Tyler: *sheepishly* Maybe...he's good? People are gonna be like "hey man, I went to Logan Woodside's high school! Why are you slandering Logan Woodside!?". It's not slander. I did not know Chad Henne was still in the league.
Coley: Oh yeah, Matt Schaub's put 17 years on the board.
Tyler: *exhales*
Coley: Chase Daniel's put I think 12 on the board.
Tyler: and that guy's bad man, again Matt Schaub was good, he had a run for sure, but he lost it like a closer and people are still like "just in case we want to see him stink some more!". If i'm Matt Ryan i'm disrespected, you're tellin' me if I get hurt this guy's comin' in and picking up what i'm doin'? If everything breaks right, he can win an MVP? Okay. Bet.
Coley: I think most teams don't think that way, they think "Oh yeah if that guy comes in we're fucked! So don't get hurt!".
Tyler: *laughs* That last year in Houston where could just not throwing pick 6's was 2013, 2013 Mick!
Coley: Refused, refused to stop throwing pick 6's!
Tyler: And he's been in the league every year since then, except 2017 for some reason.
Coley: They showed up to that mans house because he was throwing so many pick 6's *laughs*
Tyler: That's the most disrespectful shit i've ever seen *laughing*
Coley: *laughs* They're like "listen, calling in to radio wasn't enough. We have to tell you to your face you fuckin' stink!".
Tyler: They're not gonna tag his car or nothin' they just wanted to say to his face "You're bad!". Just "hey man, you're bad!". Matt Schaub a better man than I, you can tell me I stink, don't come to my house.
Coley: Right! Send me a letter!
Tyler: Don't come to my house and tell me, yeah, tweet it at me like everybody else, don't come to my house. He's in Texas man he coulda just shot through the door and it would of been perfectly just. They'd of been like "What's the problem?"
Coley: "That's the law!"
Tyler: Yeah *laughing* we would of taken him to jail if he didn't shoot with a shotgun.
Coley: The podcast I was talking about 2 bears 1 cave that I was listening to it's Tom Segura and Burt Kreischer, 2 unreal stand up comedians and they were talking about when all of LA marched on they mayors house and they were like "Can you imagine you just get a ring at the doorbell and you open it and it's 30,000 people?". *laughing profusely*
Tyler: *laughs* I'd be sick dog.
Coley: *laughing* Like what do you do? What do you do in that situation?
Tyler: Honey imma put some Death Coffee on because we not getting any sleep tonight babe.
Coley: Just hand it out amongst the crowd
Tyler: What can I do to get 30,000 people to go home? What kind of compromise can we make?
Coley: Do the people in the back even hear the compromise? They just keep coming to the front and I have to keep doing it over and over again.
Tyler: Can y'all pick your best 10,000 of you all? You all move to the foreground and we'll talk this out?
Coley: I just had those plants put in! A little to the left
Tyler: You're standing on my daughter, can you not stand on my daughter, please.
Coley: They're like, No! *laughs* what are you gonna do there's 30,000 of us!?
Tyler: Yeah, you've got me by the balls guys. *laughs* Tell me what you want!? *laughs*
Coley: In all my years of mayoring I never anticipated you would march on my home!
Tyler: I have no choice but to comply so. *laughing*
Coley: I can not back my car up out of the driveway!
Tyler: He's like boy i'd kill to be in Mayor Pete's shoes now, he got to walk away from 30,000?
Coley: He has to go downtown, they brought downtown to me!
Tyler: If somebody knocked on the door and it's just 5 people I don't know, i'm like what the fuck? *laughs*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: One person might come to the wrong door, 2 okay, 3 feasible, 4 its happened to us all but 5 people at my door? *laughs*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I don't even wanna hear what y'all gotta say. It's bad news, you see like 5 people they're holding a folded flag, ready to give to me, its that kinda bad news. So what's 30,000 divided by 5? (6,000 dumb dumb)
Coley: Listen they don't even send 5 to do that chore, that's like 2. 5's like, "I think you guys have the wrong door fellas". "Nah, we don't"
Tyler: *exhales* "And there's 29,995 more of us downstairs!" *laughs*
Coley: "The elevator can only fit 5 at a time"
Tyler: "We're walking in 1 by 1". I don't know what he had to say to get them to leave, that's some Black Mirror shit. Like "Can I fuck a pig or somethin' and y'all will go away? If I really do it, will y'all leave my house? Please?"
Coley: Yeah that's like if Fenway Park shows up to your front door, just 36,000 strong.
Tyler: Think about the let out of a game, people standing around. That's like 500 people *laughs* at a particular exit or on a corner, even the people going into like a bar or somethin', it ain't 30,000. "No we goin' to your house now, the after the game spot is your house and we're all coming."
Coley: Yeah the Boston Garden holds a smooth 17,500, so about half *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah, we're done watching the Braves play the Phillies and now we're coming to your house. All of us.
Coley: *laughs* "Even Timmy? Even Timmy!"
Tyler: "we've got wheel chair accessible cause everybody in the city's here"
Coley: *laughs* Just terrifying.
Tyler: What if Mayor Pete like tripped over his shoelace?
Coley: Awwhhhhh. I think he takes his own life in front of all of them, there's no coming back. It's already tough enough and I don't mean he goes home and takes his own life, I mean like right then and there.
Tyler: I think he just keeps falling, he doesn't even try and save himself. He just goes face first.
Coley: Derulo down the steps *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* This man fell at the Mayoral Election, Met Gala. His fly was unzipped or something, what would make it even more embarassing?
Coley: Stepped on a rake, hits him in the face.
Tyler: *murmur sound*
Coley: Have you ever been driving and you went like this *shakes head rapidly* and been like "Oh shit I just went 5 miles without really paying attention!". That's one of those things, where he was like I have no idea how I got home but i'm here now! He was on autopilot, you don't trip when you're on autopilot, you're just there.
Tyler: Yeah, it's just Human Shut Down Response.
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: Yeah he probably just drove his his car home, probably obeyed all the rules but he's like "I do not remember getting in my car, i'm home, I parked perfectly in the driveway, my keys are in the bowl by the door...I don't remember getting home!"
Coley: His brain shut off the second she started asking that question. He'll never remember, he's probably like "I said yes to defunding the police!". No, no. You walked home, tail tucked.
Tyler: His brain was on at first because he had to give the safe answer, the one that always gets him out of it. Have you heard the old Patrice bit where he's like "Cool cool, wasn't gettin' me out of it, I was arguin' with my girl"? He's like "yeah, once you realize cool's not gettin' you out of it, you done." *laughs* "I've got these old boots, what am I supposed to do, just throw the boots out or somethin'?"
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Those boots don't have nightmares motherfucker! *laughing* What a bad person. *laughs*
Coley: Terrible.
Tyler: "Send in the boots, please!"
Coley: Oh man. So yeah the Boston Globe or Herald, one of them, they wrote a "Now is the perfect time for the Patriots to sign Colin Kaepernick". If you don't get the fuck outta here with articles like that. If you don't shut that dumb shit up.
Tyler: *shaking head* Yeah, he's not gonna get a job man.
Coley: No!
Tyler: It is what is.
Coley: Might get a little jail time.
Tyler: Vick's like "How bad you tryna get back into the league my guy? I still got some property!"
Coley: *laughs* Yeah if Cam Newton can't get a job I have no idea why anyone thinks Kaep would get one.
Tyler: The people that hate Mike Vick are much more vocal about it but it might be a larger percentage that just dislike Cam.
Coley: Right, there are the Brandon Walker's of the world that hate Cam Newton. I don't know as many people who hate him hate him like they hated Vick.
Tyler: Yeah, their hate is much more intense.
Coley: If we interviewed Cam Newton, our co-workers wouldn't be looking at us weird
Tyler: Hey, that's on them!
Coley: For sure.
Tyler: They should be, like "How the hell did they get Cam Newton?"
Coley: *laughs* He's pretty free these days, not much goin' on.
Tyler: He's just the 3rd to Mickstape now.
Coley: He has so many things that stand out to me as cool that I guess other people just don't see. When he was just in a horrible car accident one week and just walked away and won that Sunday *laughs*
Tyler: That's kinda the reason why it's like this is the guy we think is washed up and done?
Coley: Right
Tyler: Teddy Bridgewater's leg fell off his body, and he bounced back! And i'm so happy he did and got 60 Million. But the guy who was in a car wreck and they've shown taken many more hits, many of them illegal more than anyone else, this is the guy who it's like "Nah he's done.". He's one of those guys like Steve McNair, Steve McNair doubtful every single week with legit injuries, like "No, his ribs are really broken!". But until he physically shows he can not do it anymore, those 2 games? I'm not buyin' it.
Coley: No. If he stunk the year before it'd be a different conversation.
Tyler: Yeah yeah yeah.
Coley: Yeah, completely different conversation. But that's not what happened, quite the opposite happened.
Tyler: Andy Dalton was healthy and wasn't good!
Coley: Correct.
Tyler: *laughs* He got a job real quick!
Coley: And I think he's a fine backup option.
Tyler: Yeah. He's a guy where if Dak goes down, we coached up a 4th rounder in Dak, we think we can get him in a decent enough spot to still win games. Just takeover for a month at absolute worst. I don't even know if Dak's missed a game, he feels like a very durable guy.
Coley: Super durable!
Tyler: Except in Panama, yeah.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I had to, I had to do it.
Coley: Someone said, was it you? Someone said they were time travelers who went back from 2020 to give him that ass whooping.
Tyler: *laughing* No it wasn't me but...yeah it was me! No it wasn't.
Coley: Someone was like "They saw that bullshit he was doin' now and decided to go back to Spring Break when they knew they could catch him lackin'".
Tyler: Man...and boy oh boy did they. Looked like a flyball caught him.
Coley: It'd explain why they were wearing like Timbs on the beach. *cracks up*
Tyler: Man they stomped the Nipples of his chest, Dak chest was raw like ground beef! They didn't even take the watch off his wrist, that's how you knew they just wanted to beat his ass. It wasn't a "we caught you slippin'", no it was "we just wanted to step on ya a little bit".
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* That's it.
Coley: What'd that guy say? "Your DNA will be under my shoe."?
Tyler: I'll put you in concrete, yeah. *laughing* And that guy's like a top 10 quarterback now? That's wild man. So don't tell me what a guy can't come back from, Vick came back from prison, Dak came back from worse! Cam can't beat a bum shoulder, a bad ankle?
Coley: Would you rather be Dak, like you get transported into their body, Dak the second before he catches that beating or Mayor Pete the second before he gets booed?
Tyler: Dak, Dak, Dak. Dak 100%, with those physical wounds, Dak don't look into the mirror and see that anymore. I don't know if Mayor Pete will ever be able to look in the mirror again.
Coley: I don't know, he just gave a lot of money to the police. I feel like he thinks he needs a lot of protection.
Tyler: If they gon' build a time machine with that million.
Coley: We don't know what it's going towards, maybe that.
Tyler: Those bowties are really like Inspector Gadget shit, they shoot out knives. His cologne is a mist that blinds his opponent, y'all won't catch me slippin' ever again.
Coley: Yeah I think we're on to somethin' here. I think he's very afraid.
Tyler: Would you rather be Dak or Mayor Pete?
Coley: *exhales*
Tyler: It was multiple of 'em, sometimes you just take an L, it is what it is.
Coley: For sure, it was multiple booers! *laughs*
Tyler: 30,000! *laughs*
Coley: That's the thing, he'll go into accounting or some shit. We'll never hear of that guy again, he'll just live his quiet life, I assume. Dak, every time he catches a bad loss on national Television, I see that picture.
Tyler: Yeah but Dak's 2 options for this season are signing for 175 million dollars or for 1 year 30 million, guaranteed. After making minimum wage for four years. Now again it's still in the back of his head of course, front of his head, the top of his head, his chest, wherever they puttin' them bootmarks. I think with Mayor Pete that's-
Coley: That's tough, it's unprecedented. We've seen ass whoopings, we haven't seen this.
Tyler: Yeah, it's like getting dunked on. You don't wanna get dunked on but it happens to the best of us. I jumped, I shouldn't of jumped, I did this. Mayor Pete can't watch an athlete get booed at a game, he can't watch a movie where somebody gets booed, he can't watch a short white man get asked any type of question.
Coley: Halloween with the amount of ghosts at that time of year?
Tyler: Mayor Pete Darnold!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Darnold's like "I saw ghosts, your people was real!"
Coley: Poor actual Mayor Pete by the way, I don't feel like he deserves to get lumped in with this guy *laughs*
Tyler: With Sam Darnold, no for sure.
Coley: He had some bad ideas, he never got booed out of his own town for those ideas.
Tyler: That's rough. Do you know how long it takes to even become a mayor?
Coley: Apparently this guy filled out a form of some sort.
Tyler: Yeah but even then, if you're 12 and know you wanna be the governor, you gotta know when you're 2, you gotta start when you're 3. That's how long the shit take and he got it, he was like "this is pretty good".
Coley: He was the class president, a boy scout, all that shit.
Tyler: Yeah, city council, all that. Alderman, all that shit. In his 20's, he was like "I did it, I got it!". If you're mayor before you're 35, you wanna be president. Which is fine, somebody gotta be it, unless we get that outta here too and uh Eliminate democracy.
Coley: This dude can't be anything ever again.
Tyler: That's the thing, he's a career politician! If he wants to be an accountant he can't! He's Poly-Sci, in philosophy, what's he gonna do? Live in a box!?
Coley: Maybe if the education system was set up a little bit better he'd be a little bit more well rounded!
Tyler: Grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and this is what happens. You get booed and have to walk back right across those tracks, because you can't get to your car. You think they just let him get to his car and drive home too? Come on man.
Coley: At every red light just *thumbs down stank face* *cracks up*
Tyler: *laughs* He stop and get something for
Coley: the Drive-thru, yeah
Tyler: He just backs up, oops! They just boo him and he drives away.
Coley: Through the talk box like "Boooo!"
Tyler: They take his order like normal at the talkbox but as soon as he gets to the window every employee and customer in the restaurant is at the window ready to him. *laughing*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Then at the 2nd window they just give him his food like normal but they're still booing him.
Coley: Yeah "Sorry Carol you have to play this straight, the rest of us are gonna boo you gotta hand him his food. It's only right"
Tyler: I drew the pickled egg, I lost here.
Coley: *laughs* "you get one boo, after he takes the food, you can boo once."
Tyler: "Okay, more than fair". He gotta get a new car cause ain't nobody letting him over in traffic now, Mayor, you're not far enough away to be that kinda booed like Trump couldn't get booed, he's too far away from that. Mayor? Oh no, you're-
Coley: Very reachable!
Tyler: the Mayor like lives on your block, that's with the Mayor. The governor might live in your city, like on the real nice street. Above that, you're not gettin' close to no Senator, but Mayor? "That's his house right there". "That's Mayor Pete?". "Yeah that's him right there.".
Coley: Would you rather, much like the Dak hypothetical.
Tyler: Get my ass whooped or what?
Coley: We're gonna stay in Dallas too!
Tyler: Oh! *buries head*
Coley: Would you rather be President John F Kennedy, takin' a cruise with his young lady, or Mayor Pete!?
Tyler: Things unfold the same way they did in Dallas, or differently?
Coley: Very same, Tess!
Tyler: Mmm, I gotta say, it's one of those things because we've all seen the very slow frames, the slowest motion, thanks Darren Rovell...the timing between the 1st and 2nd shot, it probably seemed like an eternity but Mayor Pete's was like "I gotta get through this crowd, i gotta get to my car. I left my keys in my office, I have to go back." *laughs*
Coley: *cracking up big time*
Tyler: "Why didn't I just bring the keys? Why didn't I just bring the bag with me!?"
Coley: I can't call and Uber, traffic's a nightmare.
Tyler: JFK's as quiet as it's kept, the time between shot 1 and shot 2 it's like "Oh shit, oh shit this hurts reall-" *dead*. Mayor Pete? He wasn't like up the steps yet!
Coley: Hadn't even hit the curb yet.
Tyler: It'd be like after that first thing in Dallas if people just started immediately flipping off JFK.
Coley: *laughing* Get him!
Tyler: That was the last thing he saw, he's like "This was such a nice day! How could this happen!?".
Coley: "Everything changed so abrubtly!"
Tyler: Man listen, if Lee O was a better shot man!
Coley: It was also, on the other side there was nothing for JFK to do. I'd argue there's also nothing for Mayor Pete to do, he's done just the same!
Tyler: Again, if he was a better shot...What's better than not even seein' it comin'? If you gotta go out, you know what I mean? Mayor Pete had to, when she was passin' the mic back and forth, that was the first shot. He had to die that entire time. He had to know he was dyin' and know he couldn't do nothin', JFK he had that for-
Coley: I like how I can type "mayor booed" and somethin' comes up *laughs*
Tyler: That's the most Parks and Recreation shit i've ever seen.
Coley: All the way down to the comically young mayor.
Tyler: I would love it, you know how happy it would make me, if Parks and Rec just became the next Simpsons. Just predicting wild shit, over The Office, that'd be very funny. I hope. *video of said booing plays* Look at Petey boy. I think that should be the new background, Mayor Pete just walking off. *video audio plays* Get his ass!
Coley: *laughs* He's like "someone shoot me, for the love of god"
Tyler: This is the first shot, this is where he realized "I'm not makin' it out of this alive".
Coley: *video continues playing* He's so surrounded by people.
Tyler: It's one of those, "No, talk louder Pete!"
Coley: *audio continues playing*
Tyler: "Look at 'em, look at 'em. They turned on me!"
Coley: He's like "Ah geez"
Tyler: *audio of "go home Jacob go home" plays*
Coley: They did clear a nice path for him!
Tyler: Wait, who the hell is Mayor Pete, I thought his name was Pete this entire time.
Coley: No I was tryna tell ya, it's a different guy. I thought you were just saying all white Mayors are Mayor Pete.
Tyler: *video playing* This is the longest walk ever, look at that guy. Get your stupid ass outta here! Short ass sleeves! You know they just roasting him.
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: Mayor Jacob Pete
Coley: Jacob Frey
Tyler: See that was a different angle, the angle I saw
Coley: Further away.
Tyler: Yeah. That's where you can really see the devastation.
Coley: Where's that video? Is mayor booed? Here we go *audio plays*
Tyler: It was all good just a week ago man.
Coley: He'd give anything to go back to that day.
Tyler: He's like "I did that, I did my little kneel and cry at George Floyd's coffin, the cameras caught that". *"Go home Jacob, Go home" audio plays*. "I'm gonna go talk to my constituents, they'll love me!". *audio continues* This is where they start givin' him the finger, that shit's so funny dog.
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: *smacks table*
Coley: He's afraid to look at 'em. *audio chants "shame"*. Shame, Shame, Shame!
Tyler: That's so many people dog.
Coley: Far too many people.
Tyler: He's like "Why did I park so far back!?!?". I would love the camera to just be passed like snake, so we could see the back of his head.
Coley: *cracks up at video*
Tyler: Like he's not even half way done.
Coley: No, he's lookin' for an alley, he's like "why did I defund all the alleys!?"
Tyler: Somebody snapped when they created giving the finger, giving the finger is timeless.
Coley: Yeah it just says so much without saying anything at all.
Tyler: You can throw it up so hard too, you can bring it back from here and throw it up.
Coley: Who do you think gave the best middle finger of all time?
Tyler: Ooo. It might be that first dude on the right in that Mayor Pete video. *laughing*
Coley: His was kinda up. Here he is *shows Jacob Frey*, Icetown.
Tyler: *cracks up* 12 year old Ben Wyatt *laughing*
Coley: How can I not find that first video? It was everywhere the other day. Mayor booed? No. I think Eminem truly gives the best middle finger, his has so much hatred in it.
Tyler: Yeah, the picture of Johnny Cash flippin' a mean one.
Coley: Yeah, strong.
Tyler: That's a strong bird. Somebody was like "Hold on, I gotta show how much I don't like you at all. He can't hear me but I wanna say fuck you so I need a hand motion. So I can get that across"
Coley: Oh here it is. *original booing video plays* *audio of "Fuck You!" plays loudly*
Tyler: *cracks up*
Coley: *laughs* "Fuck you!"
Tyler: Cool not gettin' him out of it man.
Coley: Yeah, no.
Tyler: Listen, i'm sure that's the technically right answer but you gotta read the room man.
Coley: *cracking up*
Tyler: That's not the answer they wanna hear right now.
Coley: There's never been an easier room to read.
Tyler: They don't wanna hear the "Per Law, Sanction B Citation 4" *audio continues* Get his ass! *audio continues* This like '86 Hogan.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Before that other stuff, you know what I mean. *audio continues* Yeah she got the crowd in her palm, that's a pros pro.
Coley: Yeah. *audio continues* Yeah he's like "Literally no one else could of gotten the bullhorn today?"
Tyler: Right *laughs* *audio continues* "Why did we agree to give one citizen a bullhorn everyday of the year!?" *audio continues* No matter what he said, it didn't sound like yes!
Coley: *laughs* It sure didn't. *audio continues*
Tyler: Someone snapped on that one too, people movin' around to get a better angle of it. That's tough. *audio continues* He's just walkin' to the Red Sea man.
Coley: Credit to the guy who started the shame chant to overtake that first chant.
Tyler: It was a seamless transition though. The energy of the people was good, I like Minneapolis now.
Coley: "Developing tonight, Minneapolis protestors boo Mayor out of rally"
Tyler: Boy they was not about to let Jack Harlow get out of there!
Coley: *laughs profusely*
Tyler: I'll tell you this, Jack Harlow would of read the room.
Coley: Without question, he would of dropped a solid 16 and that place would of been appeased.
Tyler: Oh boy *video of Mayor Pete dancing plays*
Coley: *laughing heartily*
Tyler: That's how your dumbass look. Oh my god.
Coley: Leg's aren't moving correct.
Tyler: Boy those are the worst pants i've ever seen.
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: Not my mayor, if I seen my mayor out dressed like that? No sir, i'd be at the polls!
Coley: *laughing* You know that meme of the skeleton coming down for the juice?
Tyler: *laughs* yeah. "I wish I had some juicy juice" yeah *laughing*
Coley: That's how he came down the stairs.
Tyler: Man oh man.
Coley: He's exhausted, he has to be.
Tyler: That looks like every single step pains him
Coley: Like his mind's telling him to do something and his body's disagreeing.
Tyler: He's dancing on 2 torn achilles, that's the kind of pain and gingerness in his step.
Coley: He's gonna need a whole ice bath after this.
Tyler: *in pain noises* Them 992's. He's like "I need another mayor to get booed so i'm not the first google search"
Coley: Yeah it looks like the booed De Blasio, but De Blasio feels like he's used to a booing.
Tyler: Yeah, you can't have those boyish good looks. *video plays*
Coley: I do wish one can of beans just came in and duffed him on the head. Not everyone throwin' stuff but just one.
Tyler: Someone just has a tomato for some reason.
Coley: Francisco Liriano in the crowd and he just gets him with a smooth-
Tyler: Right between the shoulder blades. Oh man, they side swiped on him. Dancin' and shit he was gonna have that Kente cloth on too if they didn't get his ass outta here first.
Coley: I still can't believe that happened.
Tyler: We're at a point right now where we legit can't tell what's real or fake.
Coley: No we sure can't.
Tyler: Imagine in like 50 years, when people are so good at photoshop, they're incredible now but when it's more widespread, I feel like it's gonna be a basic tool, like everyone will know how to do intermediate level photoshop.
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: I don't know what's real. Lookin' back in time if some shit was happenin' in 1940 it's some shit that was happenin' and was supposed to be captured forever.
Coley: Outside of Russia.
Tyler: Yeah, yeah mums the word. Every single one of us have like 10,000 memes in our phone. If people find some of these pictures later on they'll be like "Wha? I don't". They're not gonna know who really played for the Lakers.
Coley: *cracks up*
Tyler: "Apparently there was a 1 team league, 1,000 years ago, this yellow team was very good. It appears they had all of the best players."
Coley: Literally every player. They're gonna find the one where like Jordan's in it.
Tyler: "Yeah, no the bald guy, we know he was the jumpman sign, so he played for Lakers? I got it. Okay". *laughs* Man oh man
Coley: *laughing* I can't remember if it was a one off tweet or a thread but someone was like "I wanna write a movie where civilizations destroyed and 1,000 years from now the only remains of humanity are the Joe Rogan Podcast and they have to piece together what was happening based on that."
Tyler: That's a show that gets 8-9 seasons, easy.
Coley: "Everyone was just ripped apparently, everyone was just yolked"
Tyler: "Civilization was in great shape, everyone prayed to their overlords Death Wish Coffee. They were apparently the only company in the world"
Coley: Yeah you talk about a premise.
Tyler: What if they had to do it from this show? Yikes.
Coley: They'd be like "Cereal was the only form of food, that's how they survived".
Tyler: "When Mussolini played for the Knicks, I understand"
Coley: "Yeah rules meant nothing that season, Jaylen Brown was apparently some kind of sentient trash can"
Tyler: "One of the guys played for every single team ev.....er?"
Coley: "The other guy had some sort of vendetta against Jerry West, I don't know who that is"
Tyler: "He played for the yellow team, we saw from the picture!"
Coley: "Runningbacks were some sort of evil tribe, a pox on humanity"
Tyler: "A plague! We've gathered that as leprecy fell, runningbacks rose. Similar level of public disapproval. "
Coley: "Jimmy Buffett was a god amongst men"
Tyler: *laughs* "40 barz this is the only song they ever had, we like it."
Coley: "There was much disagreement about Marcus Smart and Flowermound, Texas"
Tyler: "No! Don't say that, he's from flowermound you know"
Coley: "That was the only disagreement on earth, whether or not Flowermound was with the shits"
Tyler: Yeah no, it's Compton, it's Flowermound, it's Yugoslavia, Bosnia. It's those 4. "Apparently there was a really good guy in the record books they won't acknowledge at all. He's got like 35,000 points 20,000 rebounds but we can't piece together his name!"
Coley: "Yeah, never once talked about him"
Tyler: Hmm.
Coley: Yeah no, it'd be tough.
Tyler: Would it be any more less believable than some of the shit already written in history?
Coley: *exhales* We try and get it right at least.
Tyler: Speak for yourself Mick!
Coley: We don't have much of a dog in the how history's written book. That's the thing, they're telling you up front, history is written by the people who won. They're telling you, very clearly, this shit is slanted. Chapter 1! Like why?
Tyler: It's like if your entire education was based around the documentaries your teachers decided to show you. "I'm gonna tell you why those government fat cats should all be killed and after that we're gonna watch zeitgeist"
Coley: Honest to god 9/11 happened my 2nd day of 7th grade, by the time I was in 10th or 11th grade one of our teachers showed us, over the course of 3 classes, the *air quotes* documentary, Loose Change!
Tyler: oh yeah!
Coley: That was the teacher by the way! He just got a little over his Ski's that day.
Tyler: Yeah, it's like if we didn't have anymore textbooks. "I'm just gonna show you documentaries that I like, i'm gonna show you "The Last Dance". Michael Jordan was the only player that ever mattered.
Coley: Points were made.
Tyler: Listen, that's damn near the textbook now. Every textbook you have now is like "The Last Dance" even everything you put in there to make them look bad, makes them look good, that's how this works when the winner writes the story.
Coley: Yeah I saw a lot of Winston Churchill discourse today.
Tyler: Yeah they were hittin' him with some, This you?
Coley: They sure were. Cause a lot of people were like "How dare you deface his statue". Well this is a list of shit he did.
Tyler: I hope there ain't no Ghandi statues around.
Coley: They were gettin' the business and I didn't see anyone defending that, which is tough. You talk about a fall from grace.
Tyler: The only people who are defending it, they don't know yet. It's one of those everybody finds out and when you find out you're like "oh my god."
Coley: Yeah, why was this guy ever deified
Tyler: Yeah no, they graded on a curve until like last week!
Coley: I've seen people come for Lincoln! I get he wasn't perfect but boy oh boy.
Tyler: Nah he canceled dude.
Coley: If someone deserves a slight pass, I think it's Lincoln *laughs*
Tyler: He deserved what he got during that play, some would say.
Coley: *laughs* I've honest to god seen people be like "He wasn't progressive enough". He had one motion that I think should get him a bit of a pass.
Tyler: He was basically freeing people in Canada, he was talkin' some shit that he ain't have no power over. It sound nice, but yeah he can go too.
Coley: That's one person I didn't expect.
Tyler: Yeah he's cancelled, we don't spend 5 dollar bills no more. He's cancelled!
Coley: Pennies? *spits*
Tyler: Boy's on 2 money, he's outta here.
Coley: He'd be sick if he saw himself with a copper face like that.
Tyler: Somebody was like "You gonna go back and tell me George Washington was problematic?". People were like "Y'all didn't learn anything at all, boy.".
Coley: It was crazy, I think it was during Ferguson, I remember being at dinner with my parents and being like "really nothing's changed since Emmett Till" and they had no idea who I was talking about. Not a clue, now they're older, it probably happened when they were young kids. I'm sure it wasn't talked about by the time they were in high school but that was crazy to me and this is a terrible turn a phrase, but he's like the face of that movement.
Tyler: Yeah I remember I knew abo-
Coley: That's how Chappelle ends that special when he talks about that being the spark of the revolution.
Tyler: Yeah, it's lookin' like George Floyd video is too. Every once in a while we get a horrible reminder. I know shit went up after Emmett Till but it didn't stop in the slightest so that's why anybody that's still hesitant right now, it's understandably so. It's some type of steps, i'm gonna have to ask my old man when's the first time he heard about it, because I bet that Emmett Till story was drilled into him from the time, like you don't do this because this happens and this could happen to you.
Coley: Yeah, whistling was banned in his household.
Tyler: Yeah. That's just the way shit went, there's no room for misinterpretation there, they weren't tryna hear Emmett Till's side out.
Coley: Emmett Till didn't even whistle! *laughs*
Tyler: That's another one, who writes the history books? "Yeah no he did something very offensive". Except the lady finally admitted on her deathbed that he didn't...Tremendous! Thanks a lot bitch!
Coley: Cowardice, the ultimate coward. Maybe of all time, she deserves to be resurrected and put into Mayor Pete's place and booed out of town.
Tyler: Yeah. We need some historic booings. That's what we need the technology for. Listen we get some of this police budget and put it in to technology daddy? Oh man, come on we'll have a time machine by August!
Coley: Man.
Tyler: We just bring back Hitler to the last second he's holding a gun, he's like "I thought I made it out". *boos intensely*
Coley: Yeah *laughs* "ahhh"
Tyler: They take the gun, they twist it like a pretzel like Superman then just throw it out the window. He's gotta walk back to the bunker, "oh yes, the Times will hear about this!"
Coley: *laughing* "Let me dip the quill."
Tyler: I'm all for historical booings.
Coley: Oh yeah, have to.
Tyler: Big fan, then they immediately die again. *laughing heavily*
Coley: Right, you get your booing, you're terrified of the technology that brought you back to life, you get booed and then you're dead again! Bang
Tyler: Imagine, you wake up as you were with your casket closed and you gotta make that long walk and people are just booing. One, you'd be like "Colors didn't even look like this!
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Historical booing, yeah.
Coley: It's either gotta be one person or that large crowd of people.
Tyler: I gotta go crowd man.
Coley: For sure, but i'm saying it can't be like 7 people.
Tyler: Oh nah. Some nice historical booings. Jim Jones wakes up like "That Kool-Aid didn't work". Booo! and they just get his ass. He's like "*stuttering* All these people used to love me!". Nope not any more Jimmy.
Coley: *laughs* Oh yeah we could get some big time boos out.
Tyler: I don't think anyone would be opposed to this. Would you rather the police have 6 billion dollars or have some historical booings? Take a side. Pick a stance.
Coley: Now's not the time to be fence ridin'
Tyler: If you can look yourself in the eye and say you wouldn't want a historical booing? I don't need you in my life.
Coley: To be honest I don't know if we need to dip into historical booings yet, there are plenty of people who we can give some real time booings to.
Tyler: *exhales* yeah.
Coley: John Rocker, Boo! *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah, 30,000 people show up to R-Kelly's jail cell and just boo him.
Coley: Yeah Cosby needs a booing.
Tyler: Oh yeah that'd break his old heart. A shame.
Coley: All of our pants, slightly sagged and we boo the fuck out of him.
Tyler: Yeah that's what he can't believe, he can't even hear it, "I went into a rage! I saw pants below waist! I saw poundcake!". Fuck that guy.
Coley: Yeah big time. But Happy Birthday Allen Iverson.
Tyler: Yes.
Coley: Happy Birthday Prince
Tyler: Yes.
Coley: I don't think I realized until this year they had the same birthday.
Tyler: Same! I was like this can't be the first time it's tweeted because I know every year Iverson's is tweeted and I feel like I know every year when Prince's birthday is tweeted. This is one of those "I thought we just had national pound cake day".
Coley: Pizza day, yeah *laughing*
Tyler: Yeah like another National Donut Day? I'm not complaining but we just had one in March and also May.
Coley: I was like certainly this is wrong, I looked up both separately despite the fact that I saw it tweeted from multiple accounts that don't ever cross over. I was like "No, this is something I would know. I might not remember the exact date but I would know that it was the same day.". Nope. Didn't know that.
Tyler: Next year it'll be like Stevie Wonder too, i'll be like "What? No no no I remember.." They just add a person every year.
Coley: Well it will also be the day Jakey P got booed.
Tyler: Every generation gets one.
Coley: I don't think this show exists without Allen Iverson.
Tyler: Correct.
Coley: Maybe the lowest mark on his resume.
Tyler: Let's not hold it against him.
Coley: I tweeted about it, I blogged about it people hate Allen Iverson. I'll never understand, like I almost understand the Cam one like I don't understand it but if I were forced to understand one of them it'd be easier for me to understand why someone hates Cam Newton.
Tyler: I don't know, he was never in actual prison.
Coley: For sure, should Iverson of been? No. Did they stop them? No
Tyler: Not a chance!
Coley: He was just the most notable person who happened to be at that bowling alley.
Tyler: The hell I look like hitting a lady with a damn chair.
Coley: We almost never would of known Allen Iverson because of the very system we're talking about right now. Because of racism.
Tyler: Yeah, if you believe in divine intervention, that particular governor being there at that particular time, being able to pardon him. He'd just be another what if, another "man that guy was cold" and nothing happened.
Coley: Yeah it's like "what happened to that guy". Oh he's on his 3rd sentence because he's just part of the system now.
Tyler: Well yeah no he definitely deserved it.
Coley:Yeah, that's how easily they can take someones life from them. For nothing.
Tyler: Yeah. you hear about the *air quotes* good ones. There's no good in that.
Coley: He did what 4 months?
Tyler: Yeah, he did time with legit adults at 17!
Coley: They tried him as an adult!
Tyler: Yeah and if he was born 5 years either other way and there's a different governor at the time, who knows. I'm sure every generation has one but like "no the numbers didn't do him justice.". Even the highlights don't do him justice because being there at that time seeing all he had to do to generate offense for that team to win. All the off court stuff was just a plus, that's what drew you in. The basketball is what kept you. That was secondary, who's this guy? He's very cool.
Coley: Extremely cool
Tyler: I think he's in the running for top 5 coolest person of all time.
Coley: That's why I think it's cool him and Prince have the same birthday, just 2 profoundly cool human beings.
Tyler: *exhales* who's cooler?
Coley: I give the nod to Prince, begrudgingly because that's how much I revere Allen Iverson. I think Prince is maybe the coolest human being who ever lived.
Tyler: I don't disagree man.
Coley: Prince is one of those people, kinda like, and he would hate this comparison but let me explain. It's kind of like how Elvis will always be famous because there are so many representations of him in media, I feel like that about Prince too. Growing up there was always, no matter what the cartoon was there was a famous character who was Prince. No matter what there was always that dude, even if you didn't know who Prince was yet.
Tyler: Right, or why he was there.
Coley: There was someone they made into him, and I feel like they'll always do that cause there's just no one else like him. To even say "he's just a musician" would be wildly underselling him.
Tyler: It's certain people you can't quantify how much better they were than everybody else. Saying they were the best, it's not enough. It's one of those things like "Could Prince play the drums?" and they'd be like "He's the best drummer i've ever seen, he's the best Guitar player i've ever seen, he's the best Harmonica player i've ever seen!". He's not just a guy who can play them all, he's a guy who mastered them all. And can write, and can sing, and would rap.
Coley: Everything.
Tyler: Just had it all man. I did think the way he died would have influence but people don't even think Elvis dead so.
Coley: Right
Tyler: *shrugs*
Coley: That video of Prince just mopping up every other famous Guitarist on stage and then just throwing his guitar
Tyler: And flipped
Coley: He was just walking off like fuck all of 'em
Tyler: They were just like "yeah, fuck us"
Coley: "What are we to do? It's the same instrument, I don't know what he's doin' to it" *laughs*
Tyler: A lot of people master a lot of instruments but had that and he'd walk into the club and it'd be like "man what's that guy got on" and he'd walk out and it'd be like "Why is everybody following that guy?". He was so cool, he didn't take a sip of Alcohol, he didn't believe in that stuff and every woman's tryna get in his booth, every guy was tryna get a picture with him, an Instagram shout out with Prince.
Coley: Prince's Instagram would of been wild.
Tyler: His Instagram would of been wack, his Instagram Close Friends? That's where the money would of been at.
Coley: We see every artist like "He's coming out with an album, he deleted everything and he's posting all these things.". He wouldn't been on there every day but when he posted it'd of been like "what is this even a picture of?"
Tyler: Him changing his name to a symbol was so wild. I don't even know if there's anyone who could pull it off right now and people to go along with it.
Coley: I feel like Diddy tries pretty frequently.
Tyler: Yeah, even then it's like "we'll give you one or two names" but if he came out and was like "call me this unpronounceable name symbol". They'd just be like "Fuck you Sean, you're just back to Sean now. You lost it all, you went for too much"
Coley: Think of how many people have tried to give themselves nicknames, Kobe did it, wack. Dwayne Wade did it, wackest of them all. Jay-Z just tried to coin his own color and people were like "can you just shut the fuck up old man?"
Tyler: Yeah, it's royal, it's already been invented. Thanks a lot Marge Simpson. *laughs*
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: He was just like "yeah it's a symbol". Now it's one of those "okay it's cold and now every time I see it i'm gonna think of Prince so worked like a charm.". Even the artist formerly known as Prince is fire.
Coley: I feel like Thug when he was calling himself Sex for a while. Like "I guess, this is what you wanna do? Sure! We'll ride with it but we're not all the way in"
Tyler: Right like "I thought it was Jeffrey, you just told us it was Jeffrey".
Coley: Yeah, he didn't decree when he said "this is what i'm gonna be called now, my call."
Tyler: "I say fuck the man so much y'all can't even call me that name anymore". Prince would be Playboi Carti, just dropping random tapes like "y'all see that EP from Prince dropped?". He's like "yeah this is just something I was working on today"
Coley: Yeah *laughs*
Tyler: 6 of the best songs you've ever heard, he's like "I was just playin' around" and then he just deletes it in a week, he's like "I didn't like it, sounds so dated, I hated it, so bad."
Coley: Yeah, it kills me that theres that vault of music that he won't put out. But if he wanted us to hear it he would of put it out, it's that simple.
Tyler: It'll be out.
Coley: It will.
Tyler: Would the world be a better place with that music put out? Probably, but the man who also created it clearly against it. It's not like "we didn't know if he wanted us to put it out, his fans would enjoy it.". No he had a side on this and yeah no it's probably all available right now.
Coley: Prince was also extremely with the shits.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Extremely. He'd show up like "oh Michael Jackson's performing there? Give me 10 minutes."
Tyler: Bet. Yeah.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: "Y'all let me know which instrument he's gonna play, cause imma play 6 of em"
Coley: "None of 'em? Alright cool cool"
Tyler: "He learned to dance I mastered the Harpsichord, you tell me who's more?"
Coley: "I built a new instrument, no one else can play it."
Tyler: "It's called a symbol" and everyone else's like "yes, yes it is Prince"
Coley: Just so god damn cool.
Tyler: Great basketball player *laughs*
Coley: Prince is so cool, like Dave Chappelle built his whole reputation built his whole reputation by having someone else tell stories about him.
Tyler: About how cool he was, yeah. And it worked! Because everybody was like, yeah no listen, it all happened!
Coley: "He was literally flying! It's true"
Tyler: "The Crepes were delicious!" He was with the shits publicly but theres also stories he would find majority black owned libraries and just keep on funding them out of his own pocket. He started a thing for young black girls to start coding like a long time ago. Just realized, this is where the future's going and just bankrolled stuff. This would be one of those times he wouldn't leak it but TMZ finds out Prince gave 10 million dollars to the NAACP or whatever fund, or his own fund, or like Prince is starting his own police.
Coley: *mighty chuckle*
Tyler: Wait a minute!
Coley: The purple!
Tyler: 1, you know the fit's gonna be tremendous.
Coley: Tremendous.
Tyler: You know the car's gonna be the flyest. If it has Prince's name on it you know they're gonna be trained. It's gonna take 147,000 training hours.
Coley: Or he just sees it in a person, he's like "you"
Tyler: Yeah "come here!". One of those two and people will do it. And like "if it's my name it'll be the best of the best, there'll be no crime". Police officer shows up with a Guitar, not a gun and he just starts whaling, Diamonds and Pearls, just laying it on! *laughs* The criminals *laughing*
Coley: They're like "what can we do? our hands are tied!"
Tyler: "Shh he's goin' to the solo *guitar noises*
Coley: "It's too much funk, what are we to do? It's simply too much funk!"
Tyler: After that he makes everybody kiss on the mouth and everybody goes along their day.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Prince creating a police, that's a wild one. *laughs* Who would oppose this?
Coley: The way the criminals are talking at the beginning of the second Batman, it's dark out they're like "Nah i'm not doin' no hand to hands. He's out here" that's what people in their minds, like Prince's police, he's in your thoughts.
Tyler: "I don't wanna go over the speed limit man"
Coley: Prince solved traffic, there's no need!
Tyler: Prince has hovercrafts. We should give a billion dollars from every major city police fund only to Prince.
Coley: Directly to Prince, yeah.
Tyler: That's step one, step two is giving Prince complete funding.
Coley: He'd be furious we resurrected him.
Tyler: Yeah he'd be really mad. But we'd be like "we resurrected you to tell you that they were about to release all your material.". He'd be like "oh thanks Coley and Tyler, I trust you guys. What should I do with all my new found time?"
Coley: He hands us both a Butterfly. I'm like "What do I do with this?"
Tyler: I'm just cryin' *laughs* he's like "yeah, as a gesture of my appreciation I will now fix the police!" and we shake hands.
Coley: Do you think he ever shook someone's hand?
Tyler: Yeah I think it was one of those he can remember the last time he did it. "It was August 1st '77, it was slimy. I vowed to never do that again.". It must of been Tom, Tom Joyner?
Coley: Tom Cotton!
Tyler: Yeah Tom Cotton Joyner. *laughs* Yeah it had to be Tom Joyner because that was the only thing big enough for Prince to do, to justify having him on. They were just trying to get him to have any kind of fun and he is just not with it. *laughs*
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: I gotta find that clip, it might be on YouTube. Unless, he might of had it scrubbed from the internet.
Coley: Certainly possible
Tyler: They're just trying to get him to talk about anything at all and he's like "I don't like jokes I don't understand". They like "Pepsi or Coke!!?", he's like "I don't really..." and they're like "Boxers or Briefs, Prince?" and I was just like Prince don't do the jokes man. He's Lil Bow Wow, he just doesn't get the memes.
Coley: What's crazy is he did, not that long ago, New Girl. Which is a sitcom on Fox.
Tyler: Cause he just liked it right?
Coley: Yeah he called them!
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: I think his ask was like "can I come by the set", not even be on and they were like "what?" *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* "can I see the New Girl?"
Coley: I think he was like "if I got cameo'd that'd be cool." and they were like "we're gonna write the whole episode around you if that's fine" and he was like "alright"
Tyler: Yeah that's why he just randomly showed up.
Coley: It was like a birthday party and he's there and he teaches the main character the true meaning of love in like 5 minutes because that's all it takes. There's one point where he puts her in a closet and he very clearly closes the door from the outside so it's like a dark closet and then he flicks a lighter and he's just in the closet.
Tyler: *laughing* I would love to see the behind the scenes, like Ken Griffey Jr. getting upset with his lines, how many times Prince was like "I don't know" and it's like "just flick the lighter Prince!" and he's like "I don't know about this".
Coley: It was a party with celebrities, because it was in LA and they said his only objection was they originally had a couple of the Kardashians there, they had one speaking role but they were just supposed to be there and in the background and stuff. He saw them and was like "what are they doing here?"
Tyler: He's like "aahh no."
Coley: *laughs* they were like "they're in the episode", he's like "they sure aren't"
Tyler: "Not this one"
Coley: That was that, they weren't in the episode.
Tyler: Listen they made the right choice.
Coley: You talk about the easiest choice ever, I don't even hate the Kardashians but there hasn't been an easier choice.
Tyler: like "ladies you gotta understand, and even if you don't understand you gotta get the fuck out, we're gonna record with Prince"
Coley: Yeah that just kills me, he was at his house watching New Girl and was just like "this show's so good I wanna be on it"
Tyler: Prince on The Last Dance, I would love to hear some of that commentary, just Prince and Spike Lee at a basketball game. I think Chappelle went to a game with him.
Coley: Oh yeah, the Warriors right? There has to be pictures of it
Tyler: I think so. "Another beer Prince?". "Oh no, I don't". "A hot dog, some Chicken Tenders Prince?". "Oh no, no no. I don't put that into my body."
Coley: Typing Prince Chappelle and Basketball surprisingly difficult!
Tyler: Oh Ludacris was here
Coley: Prince is not hearing it
Tyler: Listen, credit to Luda, even to be that close.
Coley: For sure! Oh he's hearin' him out, he's listening.
Tyler: Prince and Spike Lee sitting together, Spike's like "hey man, what are you wearing tonight? We're gonna be sitting beside each other. I can't wear the sweats and the Spizikes like I planned to."
Coley: What kills me about this is all the recommended images are Prince and Chappelle dying laughing. You know he said some bullshit.
Tyler: Nelly and Prince would of been laughing it up, I bet.
Coley: This is Ludacris being like "ah I never should of said that" *laughing*
Tyler: He just gave one of those "man oh man, are they ever gonna start the game?"
Coley: Yeah this was the All-Star game.
Tyler: Yeah I don't think i'd wanna sit next to Prince. He's mansplaining something to Prince.
Coley: *pulls up New Girl* Yeah this is New Girl
Tyler: That doesn't even look real, if you're looking at this 50 years from now it's like "this is clearly photoshopped"
Coley: It has to be so hard to sit there and be like "I'm acting, this isn't Prince next to me"
Tyler: *laughs* right. "No my name is Philip!"
Coley: Yeah this picture's killing me, he's like "What?" *laughs*
Tyler: "Is this some sort of meme? It's a frog drinking tea, i'm not sure I"
Coley: "you've got the basketball!"
Tyler: "this delights me!"
Coley: "What a larf!"
Tyler: *cracks up* he just turns around "fun for all the boys"
Coley: Oh yeah here we go *pulls up picture*
Tyler: Is that Sammy Jack?
Coley: Oh yeah
Tyler: That's the call Spike made and Sam didn't, that's exactly what i'm talking about. Cause if he's normally wearing this at a game, nobody would care. You sit next to Prince, Prince break out the cane and the cape man? Come on.
Coley: He's dejected in every picture, he can't believe it.
Tyler: What game is this?
Coley: Lakers Heat
Tyler: Okay...Prince kept some heat on him, good grief. That's Lionel Richie right there!
Coley: Prince, every picture he's looked like a completely different person.
Tyler: I think he is, I think he just had that power man. *new image comes up* yeah that's Lionel Richie and also probably a 19,000 dollar jacket.
Coley: Yeah, without question.
Tyler: That he sewed himself. *laughs* Prince is like "Yeah i've got on my sunglasses, indoors *laughs evilishly*" *new image* Prince!
Coley: Like we know
Tyler: It's not even recording artist Prince. No, Prince.
Coley: Prince. *laughs*
Tyler: Again fire name alert, if his name was just Roger Nelson instead, he don't turn out the same.
Coley: No, he's still like a good blues guitarist but he's not Prince.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Like Allen Iverson, there's not many better basketball names than Allen Iverson.
Tyler: Yeah, if he's Frank Bukowski, he'd still be in prison!
Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: Yeah Allen Ezail, when you've got all 3? Ann was in her bag man.
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: It's also a testament that I know Allen Iverson's mothers name, that's how big he was *laughs*
Coley: She'd sit on the bench with him!
Tyler: If it was even Alan, he wouldn't of been the same player.
Coley: No, every note was perfectly aligned
Tyler: Yeah, she snapped and yeah, Prince Rogers Nelson fire too.
Coley: Incredible. People our age and around our age, +/- 5 years, if you didn't like watching Allen Iverson playing basketball we grew and continue watching fundamentally different sports. We can't see eye to eye on much if you're anti-Allen Iverson.
Tyler: Yeah...but the advance numbers Mick, don't you understand? His true shooting!
Coley: I promise you, i'll never understand. I watched him play.
Tyler: *laughs* That was your problem.
Coley: The biggest testament I can give for Allen Iverson, and this is from well after he was done. When we were standing at the inaugural BIG3 and this man just entered the building, he wasn't playing, he was just walking and in the middle of another game the entire Barclays stood up and started cheering. He was just walking, he didn't even play there!
Tyler: Standing ovation, right he wasn't born in New York. "Our boy's come home" No!
Coley: I saw this too, I think someone tweeted me about Moss when I was tweeting about Iverson and Randy Moss, Allen Iverson and Michael Vick are all inseparable to me in my mind. Not to say they're all the same person but my enjoyment of sports was the same watching them play, on and off the field, obviously Vick ran into some trouble there in the middle.
Tyler: Debatable!
Coley: And Moss was no Angel
Tyler: Oh I know.
Coley: They were all playing a different sport than their contemporaries, they all were so unique. There was no other Randy Moss, there were other tall fast wide receivers, there was no other Randy Mosses. There have been other short, scoring guards.
Tyler: Other guys have scored 30, yeah.
Coley: Yeah, there have been other running quarterbacks. There's no other Allen Iverson. When Isaiah Thomas had his top-5 MVP season people were like "he's better than Iverson". What the fuck are you talking about?!
Tyler: Yeah, again you're telling me you're watching only the numbers.
Coley: Right.
Tyler: I'm watching the game, you watch the games and see what both guys had to do for their respective teams.
Coley: And it's not even a knock on Isaiah.
Tyler: Right!
Coley: It's taking away from Isaiah when you say stuff like that, and that's at no fault of his own because he was tremendous that year, he was no Allen Iverson.
Tyler: The main guy I see is like Reggie Miller, "if he came up in this time he'd be so much more valued". I'm like if Allen Iverson came up in this time he wouldn't play 44 minutes a game.
Coley: For 5 straight years.
Tyler: *Laughs* Yeah rookie year, 40, 39, 41, 40, 42, 43, 42, 42, 42, 41, 42, 42. That was his 32 year old season in Denver where he scored 26 a game. So if he didn't get 1 minute of rest per quarter and know that he still had to lead the team in shots like by far then yeah. It's not great he shot 42% but looking back it's not like he had good players on his team. Like they had good role players, Aaron McKie, George Lynch, Dikembe, great role players but we see every year in the playoffs if you don't have a guy that can one, create his own shot, or two, you have to have two of those guys because it's too easy to shut down one.
Coley: None of those guys were even capable of hitting open shots, there wasn't much they could do offensively. That's why, and i'm upset I didn't ask directly but even if he had Stackhouse, why did Philly get rid of him so quickly?
Tyler: I think they both wanted the most shots
Coley: Probably.
Tyler: I feel like with a different coach they might of worked it out. But also he might of needed Larry Brown.
Coley: He loved Larry Brown.
Tyler: Like Phil & Michael, "i'm not interested in playing for anybody else".
Coley: There's a lot of people who are like "this team drafted me I love it here, I never wanna play anywhere else" and then they get traded and they're like "Oh this is better actually.". He might of thought that and Allen Iverson seemed like a supremely loyal human, so I get it. Maybe Larry Brown could've figured it out, it's not like it was 5 years, no it was pretty quick and then he was traded.
Tyler: I don't think I realized it took 3 years before Iverson made the All-Star game. He wasn't an All-Star until his 4th year in the league.
Coley: Well he's no Doncic.
Tyler: Well, duh. Year 3 at 23 years old, played 41.5 minutes, 27 PPG, 5 boards, 5 assists, 2 steals. Did not make the All-Star game.
Coley: This is interesting, because Doncic hasn't shot over like 31% from 3 yet, right?
Tyler: Somethin' around that, except for on 2K.
Coley: So like 20 years from now are people gonna be like "That guy wasn't that nice, he wasn't even shooting league average". Like how stupid would that fuckin' sound.
Tyler: He was shooting more of them?
Coley: Yeah, pass the rock missy!
Tyler: Doncy! Yeah career 31% 3PT shooter and he didn't take a lot of them, that's another thing, it was a different game. It just wasn't. He got to the line a lot, he gets a lot of shit for being a bad defender. At that size there's only so good of a defender you can be and he was still getting 2.5 steals a game.
Coley: He led the league in steals multiple times.
Tyler: Yeah, he's tryin', it ain't like he's loafin' out there. Like the whole James Harden stinks at defense, he's at 2 steals a game again so he's doin somethin'.
Coley: Right, I thought it was interesting after Kobe passed some people were like "they always wanted Kobe to be the face of the league, in the early 2000's cause he was more Grant Hill, proper."
Tyler: He was more marketable.
Coley: Yeah, super marketable. Then they had this ruffian out east, with all these gang tattoos and braids and baggy shorts.
Tyler: The baggiest!
Coley: Yeah, they would use Iverson to get those clicks because they knew how popular it was but it was always to detract, it was never to build up.
Tyler: Yeah!
Coley: And you see what happens, and i'm not trying to speak ill on the dead, but it's like this guy looks prim and proper and then all the sudden he's got a case he has to deal with. Allen Iverson was authentic, which is why people love him, to this day. He was always authentically Allen Iverson and people will always love and respect someone who you know what you're gonna get from them and it's a real human being than someone manufactured. Obviously people loved Kobe, it's not even to be divisive like that but it is David Stern being like "we want that guy, i'm gonna put in all these racist ass rules to try and tone down that guy.".
Tyler: He created a monster, I hope he's proud of himself, I say that not in jest either. But this is what you created, people were mad before so they made the dress code. Now people mad people putting too much time into dressing. *laughs* Can't win.
Coley: I don't think theres a better example of the media being complete dickheads to Allen Iverson than the practice rant.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: Like everyone knows the "not a game, not a game". It's one of the most famous rants in sports, any era, any sport. And they never show, I had multiple people when I posted the clip saying "I've never seen this part of it". It's a 30 minute press conference, like I get they're not gonna air the whole thing every time.
Tyler: It's the Mark Whalberg shit, every time it comes up more and more people are like "I had no idea about this.". Yeah, a lot of people don't because they never mention that part.
Coley: It's funny for sure but then he explains that day like "My best friend is dead, we lost, i'm upset about losing." But they made it out to seem like he was selfish and he was skipping practice cause he was lazy, and that wasn't the case.
Tyler: He also got a lot of the "if he practiced harder" like you want him to practice hard and play 44 minutes a game? Jesus christ, y'all gotta pick a side man. *laughs* You can't say he's selfish and don't care when he's playing 44 minutes a game.
Coley: Right, that's why he was like "ask my teammates if i'm not trying my absolute hardest". "Those bums need practice, i'm fine".
Tyler: "They gotta get they shit together"
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: He's also, and it's rare it happens, but goes to a city tailor made to understand him. The next year it worked in a completely different way, but Duncan going to San Antonio, just fit perfectly.
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: Lamar in Baltimore, it just fits. If you get it, like I hope it's Embiid in Philly *cuts out*
Coley: Oh boy. Embiid in Philly, Larry and Magic if they had swapped, those teams would of been just as good both of them but boy oh boy you talk about clashing. Boston couldn't of wanted to root for anyone more than Larry Bird and LA was, you talk about a perfect place for Magic Johnson to fall, with his personality, he would of been damn near claustrophobic in Boston. Nothing to do with race, it's just not fuckin' Hollywood, obviously. Iverson going to Philly without question, I think there's a couple of east coast cities that he could of fallen to that would've loved him just the same but I do think it's just the east coast. His highlight reels, everyone remembers his crossovers and all that but Allen Iverson used to put people on posters, out of boredom, just cause he could. It bothers me that the NBA lied about height as often as they did because he, as far as i'm concerned, is the only person under 6 foot to win MVP. He was tiny, he was fuckin' tiny and he played way bigger than his physical stature. That was Allen Iverson, his commercials were cool, his shoes were cool. He kept Reebok alive way longer than they should've been and yeah, he doesn't have a ring, he shot 42%, people hold that against him all these years later. It's dumb, i'll say it, it's fuckin' stupid! If you're one of these people-. A text message from Tyler! *laughs* "It won't let me re-join, what's done is done", comin' up on 4 hours anyways, it's fine. Oh god what was I saying? Oh, if you're one of these people who tries to tear down Allen Iverson's legacy. There will always be a me, there will always be a Tyler, there will always be people who watch basketball because they like basketball telling you guys to shut the fuck up! This is why Kevin Durant said, "We're talkin' hoop, we're not talkin' advanced metrics, we're not talkin' numbers, we're not talkin' that shit." Of course there's a spot for it in the sport, of course there is. But actual died in the wool basketball fans when we're talkin' about it we don't wanna talk that shit. We wanna talk Allen Iverson, players like that. Putting people on their ass, going to the rim whenever he wanted to, doesn't matter if Shaq's down there, doesn't matter who's down there "I'm going to score because i'm Allen Iverson and you're not!". *Tyler re-joins* Liar!
Tyler: Like I was saying, yeah no it was like "internet's fine you can't join, take that"
Coley: *laughs* Racist!
Tyler: I'm googling things very easily so it wasn't the internet, Streamyard's just like "yeah, stay out".
Coley: I was saying Bird and Magic, if you had swapped them.
Tyler: Mm, yeah.
Coley: Bird might of retired, day one.
Tyler: Listen, Magic might of. I don't know what the talent was like-
Coley: That's what I was saying, he would've felt claustrophobic in Boston. LA it's like, go outside, be free, go to a movie. Boston it's like, you go to work.
Tyler: *laughs* Yeah, get a shovel Johnson. LeBron was kinda forced to Cleveland but Dame in Portland might be that, Doncic in Dallas right now who's already a 96.
Coley: Yeah no, I think we've seen it a bunch, all over. The other thing I was saying is the people who try and tear down his legacy, there will always be a me and a you telling them to shut the fuck up.
Tyler: Yeah, I just want the same energy. If takin' the context into it, and again, Reggie Miller "nobody was shootin' 3's, he would've". Well why does he only get that benefit? I just want the same context applied for everybody. Yeah if he came up in this era and wasn't playing literally an entire quarter more than Giannis is playing, who also has one MVP as of right now.
Coley: So far.
Tyler: Yeah as of right now. Yeah, if he didn't have to play 44 minutes a game, it's absurd he was as durable as he even was. That's a thing where like "yeah the wheels fell off quick". Yeah I see why! He had pitched 4,000 innings, so when it came to an end, it came to an end.
Coley: I always appreciate Iverson really embracing the next generation.
Tyler: Mm, and the older generation! I feel like he shows love to everybody and hugs everybody like he's great grandma, which is tremendous.
Coley: When I was watching different highlights and stuff and trying to rip video for yesterday I saw Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson, Stephen Jackson's like "he calls me once a week, tells me he loves me and hangs up". *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* That's love! That's love.
Coley: "You know i'd talk more but I have 400 more people I have to make this call to"
Tyler: "Yeah i'm just going down the list. Lets see, Stephen Japson, i've got to call him"
Coley: *laughs* Yeah, Allen Iverson saw 45.
Tyler: Gettin' closer to that Reebok money. That's gon' be a day. If the world still exists then.
Coley: 10 years, we got some time.
Tyler: It's wild to say but it's a time where Allen Iverson seeing 45 wasn't guaranteed, at all.
Coley: I know I said it when he passed, if you had Iverson outliving Kobe Bryant, I don't know how many people would have taken that bet.
Tyler: Yeah, that woulda been a shitty bet to take.
Coley: Stupid bet. Yeah dumb bet to take for sure but I don't think Iverson would of bet on Iverson.
Tyler: Yeah, no he's like "*mumbling i don't think so*". Again, Last Dance on the brain, you watch Jordan and just how maniacal he is, how competitive he is, how he treated his teammates, all for the sake of winning. So it's like Iverson never won a championship but what was the cost? When every other teammate in the league like young star, old star, talks fondly about this guy.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Almost feels like there's more than one way to go about it and maybe there is. There's a world where Allen Iverson-
[Outro]Juice time yuh yuh, juice time yuh yuh.
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