Have You Ever Wanted To Read A Transcription Of An Entire Episode Of Mickstape?

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[Intro: Juice time, juice time]

Marty: *scoff* What?
Coley: *shakes head in disapproval* Are you kidding me?
Marty: *laughing* whauutt?
Coley: Whuuuhhh- A what's this Dolphin nonsense? 
Marty: *looks flabergasted to be frank* This dolphin nons-? I've been thinkin'!
Coley: *disappointed chuckle* Oh boy...
Marty: Wait are we on-, what is thi-, what are we doin'?
Coley: This is tomorrow's Mickstape
Marty: *stunned, pumped* Ohhoowoahhh, how are ya?
Coley: Tyler's on his way.
Marty: Alright should I wait for 'em? 
Coley: *shakes head* Ehh, he's we-, well like the second he comes on he's gonna yell at you about the cereal stuff so.
Marty: *looks as though he knows he fucked up* Awh shit, alright well...i've been thinkin', well i'm goin' back to my ways of thinkin' because i've gotten off that wave.
Coley: *nods* uh-huh
Marty: Like the whole world has stopped, I just think my-, I should stop...So! I was thinkin', is Coley a word? Someone asked, no the origin of it is...someone asked me how many words do I know? I said probably, probably like 1,400
Coley: *pondering look* I think for you that's a great guess. 
Marty: Yeah I think that's like right on, that's a real good guess.
Coley: *laughing belly fulls* 
Marty: How many do you think
Coley: *still lightly laughing* No more, no less.
Marty: No *laughter* How many do you know?
Coley: *deep in thought* *sigh* At least double that if not triple *pfff sound*
Marty: *agast* Double??? I think, i duh- regardless I don't even know how many words there are in the world. 
Coley: There's a lot
Marty: *extremely curious* Like over 10,000 you think?
Coley: *in awe* ek- wih- withou- We're counting all languages? 
Marty: No, our language
Coley: (muttering) how many words are in English
Marty: *laughing manically* Yeah, see you don't know
Coley: I mean just think of how thick a dictionary is and like, each entry's so small...yeah way over 10,000.
Marty: So you think you only know 3,500? 
Coley: No, I was just saying compared to you it's gotta be at least 3-4 times as many.
Marty:*laughs* well yea, so then I was thinkin' like what's an actual word? and like bro, Dolphin is not a word or like.
Coley: I yek-, this is where you lost me.
Marty: Because listen, Dolphin, dolph- like Coley is not a a word it's a name.
Coley:*Nods* Right. 
Marty: Dolphins don't have little Jimmies swimmin' around or little Carl's or and Coley's down there
Coley: But if you ever go to like an aquarium and see a Dolphin show those Dolphins do have names and they respond to them
Marty: *blank stare* yeah,bu- those are the ones that're captured
Coley: Okay but they're still Dolphins
Marty: They're the- those are captured and those are also only doin' that for food, they're pretty much slaves those suckahs.
Coley: *laughs, forced to look away* 
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: Alright *laughs some more, but in a much more sheepish fashion*
Marty: So! What i'm saying is, there's no lil Jimmies down there so all their names are Dolphins so as I said in that sentence...Names, Dolphin *literal clap* it's a name it's not a word.
Coley: Yeah but there's like Bottlenose Dolph-, like there's different types of Dolphins that we've given. *rudely interupted*
Marty: *disgusted, wants to smack Coley* What? The fuck did you just say to me? There's bottlenosed Dolphins?
Coley: Bottlenosed Dolphins 
Marty: You don't know shit Coley, get outta here.
Coley: I'm so happy we do it this way now so I can just show you a Bottlenosed Dolphin.
Marty: *laughs in anxious* 
Coley: Right in your fuckin' stupid terrorist looking face
Marty: *agast* Bottle-...dude my- I could be in ISIS, I really can
Coley: So fast, they'd be like yup you're in *waves hand inwards* 
Marty:*laughter* so fast
Coley: *brings up google image sheet chalk full of Bottlenosed Dolphins* look at these guys, this is a Bottlenosed Dolphin
Marty: Coley I hate to burst your bubble...that's a dolph-, that's a regular Dolphin...that's just a Dolphin and you know that's just a dolphin *brings index middle and thumb fingers together on both hands to emphasize point* 
Coley: *searching frantically* types of Dolphins 
Marty: *scoff* that's just a Dolphin 
Coley: The Amazon River Dolphin? I mean this guy looks like an asshole
Marty: Is it up? 
Coley: Yeah *chuckle* look at this, look at this psychopath
Marty: I only see, I'm still on the Bottlenose 
Coley: *in awe* What? 
Marty: I'm still on the Bottlenose
Coley: Oh yeah, why uh what...how'd that happen
Marty: *laughs* I don't know. Cause the Bottlenose is not anything to do with-
Coley: *rudely interrupting* Oh, I opened another tab thats why! That was peculiar...uhmmm.
(STONE COLD MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY)Tyler: *enters room* Martin, mushy!
Coley: There he is! 
Tyler: Uh oh...
Marty: *nervous laughter*
Coley: Yeah Marty's here that's the bad news, this is the river dolphin.
Marty: *in absolute shock, his eyes are wider than a canyon* OOOOOOoooohh SHIT.
Tyler: That's not a-...That's no Dolphin, and that's not a river he's in.
Coley:*laughs* 
Tyler: A marsh maybe.
Coley: That's the Amazon friend
Tyler: Yeah...nah.
Marty: That's just a messed up Dolphin dude, he just like-, he hit his head too many times and his nose is just- 
Coley: *pffff sound* he had a rough day.
Tyler: Yeah, that looks like Hasim Rockmon after, what was it.
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: Lennox Lewis put that bump on his noggin
Coley and Marty: *laughs* 
Tyler: Mason Rudolph, uh dolphin
Coley and Marty: *laughs* 
Tyler: *has come to Jesus moment* Mason Rudolphin 
Coley and Marty: *hysterical laughs*
Tyler: *pumps fist* 
Coley: *extremely unenthusiastic* There it is, Bang. Bang. Been here for 5 seconds.
Tyler: *Looking around* Whiskers on the board. 
Coley: *laughs* 
Marty: Podcast over *laughs* 
Tyler: I've had that in the chamber for over 8 years waiting for someone to bring-...since he was at Oklahoma State! 
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: See that's what i'm good for Tyler...get those jokes outta ya
Tyler: *nods* Yup.
Coley: Tyler, how many words do you think you know?
Tyler: *thinking* Oh boy
Coley: Marty, Marty pegs himself at about 1,400 
Tyler: *hearty chuckle* 
Marty: WhuUhh-
Coley: I said i've gotta know at least 3 times as many as,  as Marty.
Tyler: I, say 'em Mush.
Marty: You? 
Tyler: No, say all 1,400.
Marty: *laughs* I a-, I actually thought about doing that...I thought about going live, I thought about goin' live and just doing every word word I know and see.
Tyler: A, and, Aardvark, Apple, Biscuit
Marty: *literally clapping*
Coley: There's no chance he would go alphabetically, you think-...are you kidding me? 
Tyler: *hysterical*
Marty: Thank you for that Tyler, 14,700...no, 14,710. Aardvark, pretty good. 
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: So two, to, and too is 3 different words right? 
Coley: Oh yeah. 
Tyler: Okay, I *thinking*
Coley: Oh I eh I eh, Now Marty's gonna say one of 'ems a number...that's not a word.
Tyler: See that's what i'm sayin', so I-I I know Mush'll disagree with the uh- 
Marty: *defensive* Two's not a word, T-W-O is not a word. The reason we got on this, Tyler did you happen to see my very very smart tweet or no? It was a-
Tyler: I did not, I missed it. No lay it on me daddy
Coley: Lookin' for a needle in a haystack
Marty: It was only 34 minutes ago that's why...I woulda caught 'em while he was poopin' or somethin. Um, uh Dolphin right?
Tyler: Mhmm.
Marty: Like, your name is Tyler.
Tyler: It's true.
Marty: Tha- that is not a word, that's a name...but Dolphins don't get named in the wild...like they're in the wild swimming around, there's not just Jimmy the Dolphin hangin' out so the-
Tyler: *rudely interrupts* how do you know? 
Marty: What?
Tyler: How do you know?
Marty: Cause I know, that's a civilization down there, they don't do names.
Coley: *heated* If it's a civilization they certainly have names.
Marty: *adamantly shaking head* No 
Coley: That's part of civilization, being civil
Marty:*tired of these dum dums* No No No No organization
Tyler: You think they know enough to rape but not know enough to like differentiate?
Coley and Marty: *hysterical laughs*
Tyler: Differentiate each other by name? 
Coley: Get her *pointing*, ahhh you! 
Tyler: Yeah, you Swimmy! 
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughs*
Marty: Well i'm telling you I know for a fact there's not a bunch of Jimmies swimmin' around.
Tyler: Inside sources
Coley: Her face, get 'er over here.
Tyler: Yeah, 'Ol head
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughs*
Coley: You talkin' to me? No no, guy next to you
Tyler: Oh hmm yeah yeah.
Marty: So their name is Dolphin, therefore Dolphin is not a na-, is not a word.
Coley: And the reason you came onto that horrifying looking creature is because I told him there are Bottlenosed Dolphins, there's the Amazon River Dolphin, there are-
Marty:*rudely interrupts* Tyler if you saw a Bottlenosed Dolphin you'd be appalled, you'd be like "yeah that's a Dolphin". It was disgusting
Coley: Yeah no, that's the standard Dolphin there's no two ways about it.
Tyler: Sure.
Coley: Uhh
Tyler: Well let's see, is it only Dolphins? Because this would apply to every animal. No? 
Coley: Anything unnamed apparently.
Tyler: Yeah I was gonna say, if you think this is-...Apples, unnamed not a word uh trees
Marty: Wait
Tyler: *continues* waterdrops, snowflakes like nothin' has a name
Marty: Yeah, yeah pretty much.
Coley: So then you're taking out like ev-, thousands upon thousands of words.
Marty: *shakes head* no forsure not, like the and like-....
Tyler: *holds up a single finger* One.
Marty: Blind....
Tyler: Two.
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughs*
Marty: I was just lookin' around the room for words
Tyler: *laughs*
Marty: Doorknob like things like that, that's...that's two words right there
Coley: But like, but it's not like er- r- Fredrick the Doorknob, so like why is that a word and not Dolphin?
Marty: Because it's just not, it's always that thing. Y'know? 
Tyler: I don't know if that answered the question. 
Coley: *shaking head* Noaaahhppe, it definitely didn't
Marty: It's always gonna be a doorknob
Coley: *in shock* It's always gonna be a Dolphin! It's not gonna change...into a Platypus
Marty: No, it was a mini-Dolphin before and-
Tyler: To a Butterfly? Yeah
Marty: Thi- Things happen to Dolphins 
Tyler: *genuinely curious* What happens to Dolphins?
Marty: Living things, alright le- lets go living things are are is what can like not be words. My brain my, I was so- I was tryna tell you I'm gonna become smarter...i'm readin', i'm gonna read a book and shit and now you make me do this.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Which book you gonna read Mush? 
Marty: I don't know, my motha said there's somethin' about a lawyer that becomes a drug addicting *laughing* seems pretty sick.
Tyler: *bursts out in laughter* Moby Dick, yeah that's a good book
Marty: That's what someone said, what was Moby Dick? Was that the, was that the Horse or the Whale? 
Tyler: Uhh that was the Whale
Marty: So-....Zenyada's the Horse
Tyler: A horse named Moby? Get out of here
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: Get real 
Marty: *laughs* uhm, yeah that's- I don't know what I was gonna say
Tyler: I think you should do Audiobooks Mush and read, uh like let them read you books but then I also think you should be like a voice narrator for Audiobooks.
Marty: I think i'd make a good living.
Coley: But you can take like your own detour and like y- yo- it's not the same as like the book that's printed like the very first and last words of the book are certainly the ones but how you get there is very different than how the author intended
Marty: Yeah like in the middle of a sentence i'm like let's lets talk about this sentence right here...these bags
Tyler and Coley:*crack up in laughter* 
Tyler: Yeah, was the period necessary? I knew the sentence was over why did he put a period?
Coley:*laughing*
Tyler: Like wha-
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughs*
Coley: *very funny look on his face* "Chapter 4? Oh we gotta college boy here."
Tyler: Yeah he's like "ahhh I don't this one...lets go to 5" he's reading he's like I don't know what's going on-...who's Jim? I don't know who Jim is.
Coley: Yeah what do you mean Steve died? Wha- wha- that feels important.
Marty: Dude thats-, I was thinking about that last night too which is wild like uh I was watching Superbad...movies are 2 and 1/2 hour long, 2 hours long but right away we feel connected to these two people that are li- that are like best friends. *silence*
Tyler: Like which movie are you tal-, I feel like you have a movie in mind
Coley: Unless it's a shit movie, yeah.
Tyler: Yeah.
Marty: Superbad, like it had, what's his name...Jonah Hill, it's just crazy that I believe it so fast no matter what even if I know it's a movie i'm like boom wow they're best friends.
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: And no one even had to tell us. *shrug* pretty good
Tyler: Well yeah a uh well one's picking the other one up from school? I imagine they'd be friends
Coley: Yeah...
Tyler: I hate this dick, C'mon we're gonna be late 
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughs*
Coley: Yeah they're talking about uh goin' halfsies on a porn membership like I would assume they were pals...yea.
Tyler:*laughing*
Marty: True, that is true...ah it was just a thought
Coley: I'm always impressed that movies can do the same amount of story telling that like a a 15 episode TV season can do in a much shorter amount of time.
Marty: Yes, that also is true. Or like how theres, I don't get how there's new movies comin' out, how do we not do 'em all 
Coley: Oh we have.
Tyler: I was gonna say like we kinda have, see I feel the other way like its like okay people watch movies...this don't need to be stretched out over 14 episodes this could, if they wanted it to get done in 90 minutes? It'd get done in 90 minutes.
Coley: Yeah *nodding*
Tyler: Like if a 15 episode 15 hour show got so big it needed a movie? They'd figure out a way to put it in 90 minutes. 
Marty: Every show has that one storyline that everyone's like we don't need this *shaking head* EVERY show
Tyler:mhm *nodding* your B storyline
Marty: We don't need the story of like their life right now its stu- and just, yeah
Coley: Or just a character who when we have to deal with them for like 5 more minutes, we're like alright move it along.
Marty: Yeah exactly *chuckling*
Tyler: *murmur* yeah
Coley: I feel like Game of Thrones had like 8 of those, where it'd be like don't care, get to the next guy.
Marty: Here's the- 
Tyler: I just saw, I just saw an article they ranked 100 people in Game of Thrones who were killed *emphasis* 100
Marty: *wide eyes* 100 characters that were like known?
Tyler: 100 like named characters, so this don't include like 
Coley:Aaron Rodgers?
Tyler: Drago-, yeah Dragon torchin' a city...thousands goin' down. These were 100 characters with names. I'm like its shows that don't have 100 characters! None the less kill 100 characters.
Coley:Right 
Marty:*laughing* Do you think I should really watch that?
Coley:*shaking head* No
Marty:Ahh I e-
Tyler: I, I'll tell you this 
Marty: I appreciate that 
Tyler: After-...you haven't watched any of it right? 
Marty: Not one lick
Tyler: I have a friend that r- like during quarantine he had never seen any of it and just watched it all a couple- when he finished a couple weeks ago he was like, I don't think the ending was that bad. today, TODAY he called me and he was like "i've been thinkin' bout that Game of Thrones ending man...I didn't like that shit."
Marty and Coley: *crackin' up*
Tyler: So people that have been there from day 1, people who jumped in like relatively late like me, and people who jumped in completely late...nobody likes it.
Coley: Right.
Marty: Yeah so it's like-
Tyler: I don't think you should watch it Mush.
Marty: Because when you're in it, when you're watching it back-to-back too, you're like...no matter what you're like oh it's not that bad but once you really think about it...you're like that's just DUMB
Tyler: MMMMHMMM
Marty: *laughs* 
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: He was like, "none of the stuff they told us mattered" I was like I told you none of it- none of it mattered, at all 
Coley: So I, we, we interviewed uhh Michael Chavis of the Red Sox the other day for Section 10.
Tyler: *nods*
Coley: And we asked him, just like his favorite shows of all time and he was like... aw man I ge- I got Game of Thrones like 1 or 2 and he put it above Breaking Bad and I was like WHAT? What the fuck are you talking about? And he was like- he got an attitude with me for a second and then he was just like, well to be fair I stopped watching after Season 5...I was like *throws arms up* Well no shit you think it's a good show
Tyler: There it is.
Coley:*laughs*
Tyler: Yea, Warriors are up 3-1, i'm not watchin' this *mimes turning off TV with remote*
Coley: Yeah! *laughing*
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *All laughing*
Coley: Yeah pretty much
Marty: That's what it'd be like! Imagine you did that!
Tyler: Yeah you wake up the next day, what????
Marty:*laughing*
Coley: Yeah then he started thinkin' about it and he was like I guess if they couldn't finish the job thats gonna knock it down...I was like exactly!
Marty:*laughs*
Tyler:*laughs* Yeah no the, the pilot does a great job and right as we're landing no he just decides to just nosedive
Coley: Just abandon the plane, yeah *laughs*
Tyler: How was the flight??? I didn't like it! It wasn't good! Like I don't-
Marty and Coley: *laughing*
Tyler: 95% of it was great, uhh the last 5 not so much *shaking head* 
Marty:*laughs* Uhm
Coley: So Martin, the real reason I sent you this link 
Marty: *adjusts hair* yea?
Coley: Uhh I mean wha- what's your fucking problem?
Marty: Oh what's your guy's problem? Tryna start a war with me?
Coley: *Looks around as to say, maybe* 
Tyler: My guys? I didn't ev-  I didn't wha? *laughs*
Marty: What do you mean Tyler? You were the first one to-
Tyler: What do you mean what do I mean?
Marty: You were the first one to throw a punch ya slaprat
Coley:*laughs*
Tyler: I'll rat your slap!
Coley: *deep hardy chuckle*
Marty: I'll slap ya right in the calf *laughing and pointing* Cause you're the one-, you started this war, i'm just getting blogged about then i'm getting double downed blogged about???
Coley: *nods* It had to-, you had t-...I had to also blog it 
Marty: *serious side eye*
Tyler: Listen, I didn't do this to you. You did this to you
Coley: Correct.
Marty: Its just crazy that people just don't understand the concept of why i'm doing it. You ha-
Tyler: *rudely interrupts* Explain yourself
Marty: The better, Have you ever just stuck your hand in a bag of cereal and thrown it in your mouth? It's so much better tasting.
Tyler: No *shaking head*
Marty: *looks as though he's seen a ghost* NO???
Coley: *cracks up laughing*
Tyler: *laughs* *mimes shoving hand into bag with extreme vigor* Just SHOVE my hand? 
Coley and Tyler: *laugh*
Marty: Yeah! it's- that's
Tyler: Yeah, no. Yes i've, i've eaten dry cereal before Mush. Yes
Marty: And you get the full taste Tyler
Tyler: Okay?
Marty: And then you get to wash it down with the shit that you love to wash it down with and i'm not the suckbag sittin' there drinkin' the milk like it's soup on a hot summer day.
Tyler: Eve- *laughs* There's one thing I know about Summer!
Marty and Coley: *laugh*
Coley: Big soup season, yeah *laughs*
Tyler: 4th of July, my grandfather used to break out the grill and make thee best soup you've ever-
Tyler,Marty, and Coley: *laugh hysterically*
Coley: It's Halloween Chili.
Tyler: s- sou-, yeah.
Coley: Uhh, 4th of July minestrone, everyone knows that *hearty chuckle*
Tyler: A nice 4th of July patata uh everyone knows
Marty: Right when I said that sentence I got so upset I was like damn that's a bad end to my point.
Coley: No, no the ending wasn't what squandered that point I promise you.
Marty: But li- It's crazy that ar- i'm not even gonna use the word because I don- I- honestly I don't have the headspace to, to visit the saggy vs soggy right now. I can't do it. Because that i'll die with, it's the most right i've ever been in my entire life.
Tyler: Listen you k-
Marty: Besides the rubber band and elastic.
Tyler: I was gonna say you beat Feitelberg 1 time and you gettin' a big head
Marty:*holds up 1 finger*
Coley: Yeah y-
Marty: I told-
Tyler: Elastic is preposterous by him, i je-, one of his worst moves.
Coley: What was tha-
Marty: Actually it was Coley, aren't you from?
Coley: What was the take I didn't hear this?
Marty: Oh so, I l- it was all 
Tyler: Oh yeah, this is a doozy.
Marty: It was off camera, I was literally just hanging out and I facetimed Feitelberg, we were just talking...that's when I went to go do for uh the Watermelon thing with Dana.
Coley: Yeah
Marty: So I told him about it, he goes "oh dude there's not gonna be uh caus- do you think you're gonna have the supplies?" I was like yeah we're gonna have rubber bands. He goes, he *eyes widen* lost it, Coley he lost his mind...he's like "rubber band??? What did you just call that?" I was like what? 
Tyler: *laughs* This band of rubber...uhhh...
Coley: So he, he was mad at you for calling it-, I thought you were gonna be mad at him for calling it elastic.
Marty: I thi-, Yeah and I, it doesn-
Tyler: I'm mad at him for calling it-
Marty: He goes, "elastic"... I was like bro I know for a fact i've never heard that in my life and that's not even an exaggeration.
Tyler: I mean *shakes head*
Marty: Not once has some one been like "hey pass me an elastic"
Tyler: I've never heard that either *shakes head*
Coley: I've definitely said it but I would call it a rubber band first.
Marty: *stunned* You've said an elastic???
Tyler: It's gotta be a Massachusetts thing.
Coley: Probably but yea.-
Tyler: Cause it's not even from regional cause Mush had no idea so I...it's gotta be like a Boston thing 
Marty: Coley 23,000 votes in 2 hours, 91 to 9 was the percent in rubber bands *laughs*
Tyler: I'm surprised it got that high
Marty: We gott-
Coley: Like I said...yeah if you google elastic it certainly comes up uhm however what I will say is like the the, the beige tan one that the universal one isn't showing up.
Marty: *disgusted look* what?
Tyler: When you search for what?
Coley: Elastic
Marty: Oh!
Coley: Thats what i'm saying like, it's more like hair scrunchies and like those kind of-
Tyler: Yeah i'm thinkin' like a waistband when I hear elastic. 
Marty: Yeah or like-
Coley: yeah yea
Marty: enda-, end of your sweatpants...that's elastic 
Coley: Yeah I mean elastic, its technically...that's more or less like describing the action of a rubber band more than like...you'd call it just a rubber band 
Tyler: Yeah...it's a band of rubber, I would call it that
Coley: For sure
Marty: And Coley, my friends on the internet, my dear friends Tyler, KFC, all accusin' me right away that I was the elastic bandit
Tyler: Aye i'll apologize, i- h-, again in my defense *shrugs*
Marty: *laughs hysterically, like the Joker would be jealous of this chuckle*
Tyler: In my defense *shrugs again* but uh no I eh I'll apologize for that...I did think you were on the wrong side of that one but no it was, it was Feitelberg...all along 
Coley: Listen I already knew you were mad at John when you started telling the story and 5 seconds into the story I wa-, I thought you were the elastic bandit
Marty: Yeah * talks whilst laughing * that was crazy, that's not good
Tyler: *laughing* yeah, but you got off the hook one time and now Mush is just like words aren't words , you y- you're gettin' too cute boy.
Coley:*laughs* 
Tyler: Too cute!
Marty: *laughs* i got, i got excited after my one win, got me goin' off
Tyler:  *Nods*
Coley: No here-, the thing with the, the thing that's wrong about your cereal eating methods...THEY produce the cereal knowing it's going to be drenched in milk like that's not somethin' that's a surprise to them...like oh people are doin' this at home? They make intended for the milk.
Marty:*shaking both fingers, he's pissed* you've never been more wrong in your life. 
Tyler: Uh oh!
Marty: Ever!
Coley: *taken aback* oookay
Tyler: Get his ass! 
Marty: They do it for the taste you schmohawk, it's just like Apples...they know-, they don't know you're gonna put it in Peanut Butter that is gonna be-
Coley and Tyler: *laughing in disbelief*
Marty: *begins laughing along* what? what?
Tyler: Okay, everyone knows...when General Mills makes their Apples uh...*laughs*
Coley: *hearty belly laugh* 
Tyler: When Magic Spoon makes their Apples uhh- 
Coley: Yeah *laughing still, wiping eyes*
Marty: They-, Recee's Puffs is making the most chocolate it can for your tasting of how you wanna do it... they do-
Tyler: *drinks water*
Coley: In milk! 
Marty: Everyone's- *pulls hair* No that's, *covers eyes* That's upsetting me, that's insane that you think about that.
Tyler: On the side of the box, the Nutrition Facts it gives you, only the cereal and then next to it...it gives you the calories with milk.
Marty: *stunned*
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: Does it really?
Coley: Yup.
Tyler: Yeah. 
Marty: Yeah but they k-
Coley: On your bag of Apples it's not like calories with Peanut Butter!
Tyler, Coley, and Marty: *laugh in unison*
Tyler: Calories in pie.
Coley: *laughing in amusement*
Marty: They know that people are gonna eat it both ways, they don't make it for the milkdogs.
Coley: They absolutely make it with milk in mind.
Tyler: I, I think they do. I think it's- I'll say this...I do think it's some, a little peyola though. like I, milk they're, they're oh they're scratchin' each other's back, there's no doubt about it...but it's definitely, it's made with milk in mind. 
Marty: *disgusted* What're you, are you guys living in a different world that you think milk and cereal-
Coley: *nods* I thi-
Tyler: Than you? Absolutely
Coley: Yeah, yes 1000% 
Tyler: I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 
Marty: *laughing in dissapointment*
Coley: Were you the first parallel universe motherfucker to cross over because I wouldn't rule this out *shaking finger*
Marty: *laughing still* you think that milk like first of all what-, are there even brands of Milk, there's just the red cap and the blue caps, no? 
Coley: The, th-... yeah no, well there's different colors but yeah there's different brands. 
Marty: Ahr- I I couldn't even name one milk brand right now 
Coley: Hood, Gurrellic.
Marty: *points finger* Hood!
Tyler: Daisy.
Marty: Alright so you think Hood is just at like General Mills like "hey, lets collab on this one"? 
Tyler: *laughs* Like Supreme, yeah.
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: There's no chance, that th-
Tyler: I think we could fuck the street up man.
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: There's just a mob of cereal? 
Coley: No, I think like with anything while they're like testing something new before it goes to market they're like alright let's see how quickly this sags...as you would say. 
Marty: *nods*
Coley: And they're like aw man this disintegrated instantly when, when wet, we can't put this out it need's a little bit more, a little bit more umph *clenches fists* to it, it needs a little bit more structure...stability. 
Tyler: Stick to your ribs.
Marty: You think there's just some asshole sitting there that's tasting all these ones? Fucking jimmy-
Coley: I don't think he eats like a whole fuckin' bowl, I think they like get it checked 
Marty: No ah lemme tell ya-
Tyler: No he's like I know how Frosted Flakes taste. 
Tyler, Coley, and Marty: *laugh mightly*
Tyler: Do I have to do this for every box we make?
Tyler, Coley, and Marty: *continue laughing mightly*
Coley: They're like Yes. *laughs*
Tyler: Billions of flakes.
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: I don't know, I just don't, I don't think that any of what you guys are saying is true. 
Coley: Alright.
Tyler: *scratches face* It's never stopped you before uh.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: So you think they make, you think they like don't even consider it? 
Marty: No it's definitely considered but I think they're making it just for the, just exactly how they have to have it taste dry.
Tyler: Okay so where does chasing it with a shot of milk?
Marty: I think one day someone was just puttin' milk in and was like-
Coley: *eager smile* The first day! It was the first thing anyone ever did with cereal!
Marty: *freaking out, limbs flying everywhere like a fiend looking for a fix* NO ITS NOT! *hands continue to fly, he's in shock*
Tyler: Cmon maybe somebody was eatin' cereal and was like this shit is dry...i'm gonna go squeeze a cow! 
Coley and Marty: *laughing from the belly*
Marty: There's just no chance that the first day that we're like-, like someone probably was just eating cereal and was like "wow this is really good" and one day someone had milk ....in a cup! and drank it while and like holy shit *eyes widen* let's put it together.
Tyler: I think it was like the Reece's commercial, they tripped and fell into each other and the cereal hit the milk...landed perfectly in the bowl... rest was history man.
Marty: Oh that's just crazy! Mine's actually realistic.
Coley:*pfff sound followed by laughter* 
Tyler: *laughing in astonishment*
Coley: I think the very first cereal was oatmeal and you can only eat that shit wet.
Marty: *might literally puke, visibly disgusted, rocking back and forth* 
Tyler: Mush-, Mush probably eats dry oatmeal sooo yea...
Coley: No he hates oatmeal 
Marty: *still visibly shaking, might be gagging* Nooo, I'll s-, literally I, I'll scream, i'm a very, very nice man...i'll scream at your face. 
Tyler and Coley: *laugh in unison*
Marty: I wi-
Tyler: What's uh, what's the beef with oatmeal Mush? 
Coley: ahhh, i've eaten it around him before and he ha-, he freaks out. he does this *points*
Tyler: What's the problem? 
Marty: I'm just so *pulling out hair*
Tyler: Milled oats!
Marty: Dude it's so disgusting *many hand movements* it's just wet, and slaps in your mouth. It literally just slaps in your mouth, the smell of it makes my asshole leak its so gross.
Coley: Fuckin' like Brown Sugar, it's a delicious smell...the smell is the last thing you can chirp about it.
Marty: I would literally like divorce my wife-
Tyler: A little fruit on top of your oatmeal, couple blueberries..-
Coley: MMM
Marty: *not at all impressed*
Tyler: BABY!
Marty: Can you both eat it?
Coley: Sticks to your ribs! Before your summer soup, a nice bowl of 
Coley, Tyler, and Marty: *burst out chucklin'*
Coley: Hot oats *continues laughing*
Tyler: A nice Memorial Day meal! some oatmeal.
Coley, Tyler, and Marty: *continue the laughter*
Marty: Hot oats and soup for the boys!
Coley and Tyler: *hearty belly laughs*
Tyler: yeaaa, yeah. Another uh *can't stop laughing*
Marty: Another round, another round for the boys. 
Coley: Look at the fuck face- 
Tyler: Miso, Miso for the guys. Yea
Coley: *laughing* I love fuck face on the box of oat-, like the quaker oats guy that's how long...they've been eating that since like, they'd give some to the chickens and then they'd have some themselves. 
Marty: *adjusting necklace* What happened to the Chickens???
Coley and Tyler: *laugh in disbelief*
Coley: I'm just saying *can't stop laughing*
Tyler:*still laughing*
Marty: *anxious laughter*
Coley: The people who were eating that, yeah...the people who were eating that was like the 1400's...like they could only eat it wet so cereal has only ever been wet.
Marty: Nah, that n-, I don't I h-, And i'm not even just, no...Martyism's away, that is just not true. It was dry first.
Coley:*realizes he's not getting anywhere, laughs* Alright. 
Tyler: How much would it take for you to eat a whole bowl of oatmeal Mush, like cereal? Like as big as a bow-, like how much would it take for you?
Marty: Like honestly, I, if you, like honestl- like a serious number... 10 grand. 
Coley: *Shakes head*
Tyler: *laughs*
Marty: I wouldn't do it for 5 grand. I really wouldn't. I can't 
Tyler: So do you like, porridge...you don't lik-, is it consistency? Because if so I can, I get that.
Marty: Porridge isn't a real thing, but like yeah. 
Coley: *laughs* I agree with that, yeah porridge is not real
Marty: Porridge is just for the, the Wolves and the trick or treaters or whatever that... what is that-
Tyler: *nods* I've only ever seen it in a storybooks
Coley: Goldilocks
Tyler: Yeah
Marty: *laughs* I don't think so, it's the bears no? 
Coley: Yes
Tyler: Grits. Yeah 
Marty: Uhm. *thinking* did you see my Chicken tweet? Did ya like that one at least?
Coley: Oh jesus I don't know if I did
Tyler: I was gonna say, I didn't see it...Chicken is that a word like Dolphin? Yeah. 
Marty: Mickstape is just, just makes me know that you guys don't look at any of my tweets. 
Tyler: I don't know what half of 'em mean man.
Coley: Y-, You're on here because of your fuckin' Dolphin tweet.
Marty: *laughing nervously* oh yeah that's true, and you know what Tyler, yeah that's true...I don't know what yours mean half the time.
Tyler: That's what i'm sayin', so yeah we- *laugh* it's mutual *laugh*
Marty:*laughing* 
Coley: How fuckin' long ago was this?
Tyler: Yeah what's this chicken tweet? 
Marty: Just Control F Chicken.
Coley: *throws hands up*
Tyler: *viciously laughing* 
Marty: *laughing*
Coley: *muttering to self* i'm definitely not gonna do that
Tyler: I've never heard those words in that order. 
Coley:*Laughs* 
Tyler: Just hit Control F Chicken dum dum!
Marty:*laughing uncontrollably* want me to just explain? 
Coley: It literally...that didn't even do it so you spelled chicken wrong, uhh which is certainly on the table.
Marty: Uh yea that's sometime's-
Tyler: Talk it out for us while he finds it.
Marty: Alright. Cause sometimes I do forget to put the K Coley. Uhhm-
Tyler: Chicen
Coley: *slight laugh*
Marty: So I was makin' Chicken Cutlets, correct? 
Tyler:*nods*
Marty: So I had the chicken in my hand and you have to slap it in egg and it's like...it's full circle. Sperm to a Chicken.
Tyler: MMmm
Marty: Chicken's dead, chicken's back into the egg? That's just a full lik- life of a chicken *slight shrug* 
Tyler: That's a good tweet Mush. I don't know if you worde-
Marty:*rudely interrupts* That's good! 
Tyler: Worded it this way...
Marty: It was a video. *laughs* Cause I couldn't tweet it.
Tyler: Oh okay *nods*
Coley: *visibly confused/upset, hits table*
Tyler: No I yea-
Coley: You had me lookin' through fuckin'...nah nah
Marty: Oh you're lookin' for a tweet? 
Coley: Yeah!
Marty: Oh you coulda just went to media! *laughs*
Coley: Thanks! *sarcastically* 
Tyler: *laughs* no i'm, I, that's a good one Mush full circle tha-, yeah that's a good thought! *nodding in approval*
Marty: Yeah! That's just like imagine t-
Tyler: Just slather, you don't slather anything else in what it used to be...that's a bizarre thing to do with food.
Marty: You know what I left out, I thought the chicken was the- was-, I thought the egg was the chicken's poop....that's besides the point of the tweet.
Tyler: No...
Coley: I don't think that's your worst thought.
Tyler: Which one do you think came first Mush, Chicken or the Egg?
Marty: I don't really un-, I never really understood this question. 
Coley: One of them had to of theoretically come before the other.
Tyler: Like-, yeah...one of 'em, one came from the other, right? An egg came from a chicken or an egg turned in a chicken right?
Marty: Correct, like a butterfly and a cocoon.
Tyler: Yeah so which one came first? Was it the egg first that turned into a chicken? Or was it a Chicken first that hatched- or that, that laid an egg?
Marty: I think it has to be Chicken. 
Coley: MMM
Tyler: But where does it come from, Mush? 
Marty: Or, it coulda been a fucked up dinosaur... cause they're the only one elses that drop eggs. Has anyone ever thought of that?
Coley: You're the only one else. 
Tyler and Marty: *laugh*
Marty: The only one else...*laughing*
Tyler: One..uhh, yeah one dinosaur was a little bit smaller than the others and ei- somebody had some hot grease cookin' or somethin' and it was just a bad day for him....and the rest was history.
Coley: *laughing*
Marty: *sighs* Oh my gassh, well but did you guys talk about Hubbs' cereal when h-, that's worse than mine.
Coley: OH YEA. yeah no, his is real bad. i'm pretty sure I blogged his 
Marty: His was like-
Tyler: I got 'em both
Marty: That's sad
Tyler: Yeah wh-, microwaving cerea- *laughs*
Marty: You microwave the cereal for 15 seconds. I do-
Tyler: That's chaos
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: Literally only cats do that.
Coley: *can't believe what he just heard, laughs* 
Tyler: Cat's love microwaves.
Coley: *crackin' up* picturing Garfield just like uh well my lasagna, time to heat up some Fruity Pebbles!
Tyler: *laughing* 
Coley: Yeah no, did ah- a-, does Tommy eat it with like a fork? Like what's his terrible way to eat cereal?
Tyler: I was gonna say, I know he got somethin'.
Marty: Yeah he did-, he didn't say anything... Tommy's wi-, oh something else I wanted to talk about. I don't like Cheerios. Cheerios are gross. Cheerios-
Coley: That's a fine take. 
Marty: Cheerios are j-
Tyler: I don't...yeah
Marty: Cheerios, I only see children eating Cheerios on their little...their little tray they eat on.
Coley: Yeah 
Marty: *disgusted* and they pick at it like savages....does your daughter do that?
Coley: No she's not even close to solid food. 
Marty: What the hell you doin? 
Tyler: Yea, you Gotta wonder what she's afraid of.
Coley: Just the milk.
Marty:*laughs* well that, well when you get the chance can you ask her about if- does she like it in the cereal?
Coley: First thing i'm gonna do when she get's big. 
Marty: *nodding* Thank you, I appreciate that. *laughs*
Tyler: It'll be on her desk tomorrow morning 
Marty and Coley: *laugh in unison*
Coley: Yeah no, it's uhm, Cheerios are fine, like i'm a honey nut guy-
Tyler: Yeah like-
Coley: Apple cinnamon are good, I know Tyler likes the Frosted ones. plain Cheerios, *shakes head* no.
Marty: Gross.
Tyler: They had the vision, right like they came along they had to walk so Apple Cinnamon could run... so so they're necessary in that sense but now yeah if you're buying like plain Cheerios now, i don't know...things probably not goin' too well.
Coley: Yeah, you've got a heart problem. yeah
Tyler: Yeah things, things not goin' real well.
Marty: yeah, that's your wife comin' home from the supermarket like yeah dude...- 
Tyler: Right
Marty: Your doctor, your cholesterol, that's all.
Tyler: Yeah, yeah...it's got vitamin E!
Coley: Yeah
Marty: I got 2 questions for you Coley.
Coley: Okay.
Marty: 1, great-, it was a fantastic interview with Andre Drummond.
Coley: Thanks pal.
Tyler: Thank you
Marty: Uhm, did he not want to show his face?
Coley: No. No he sure didn't 
Marty: I love that. Kinda love that
Tyler: Gotta respect it.
Marty: Tony Snell is also the perfect person to make fun of in the NBA in any situation *lifts a single finger* 
Coley: Who? 
Marty and Tyler: Tony Snell
Coley: Oh yeah. yeah.
Marty: Any situation. Imagine Tony Snell doin' that? That's funny.
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: Yeah...
Marty: Second thought, Dak Prescott. You really think he turned that down?
Coley: No. 
Marty: *shakes head* no you, I think you have to be an idiot if you think he turned it-, if he turned it, you think it-
Coley: Unless it was like 0 guaranteed dollars they're like, yeah we'll give you infinity billion...then like yeah that's
Tyler: Wait so like...you don't think it was offered Mush? 
Marty: I don't think he got offered 175 million dollars. Like I think he w-
Tyler: I think yeah
Marty: Because that's literally the thing, he'd call his friends and be like "can you believe these fuckin' morons wanna pay me 175 million?"
Tyler: See I kinda, because if it's like okay it-, the offer only keeps going up. 
Coley: *laughs* right
Tyler: So if he's like "I mean I could just wait 2 months for it to be 185". Like without doing a single, like a single thing different. I just need 1 other quarterback to sign. Or i'll just wait, so I, I don't think it's that crazy...for him to just be like yeah okay just keep offering me bigger numbers.
Marty:*not buyin' it* I just don't see, like he stinks.
Coley: I wouldn't say stinks.
Tyler: Stinks is strong. Stinks is-, yeah we've seen stinky quarterbacks.
Marty: What are you guys fuckin' Cowboys fans now? he stinks! 
Tyler: You know me! 
Coley and Marty: *laugh*
Coley: Yeah no i'm no Cowboys fan but-
Tyler: I was gonna say-
Coley: He's put up fine numbers for like several years in a row, he's consistent...is he like, is he like clearly the best quarterback in the league? no, of course not. Is-, can you name 10 quarterbacks right now better than him? no, you can't. 
Marty: But that, that salary would be the highest paid quarterback they've ever had. 
Coley: Yeah, yea, he'd be the highest ever of anyone's ever had. And then next year Mahomes will break that. 
Tyler: That's what i'm saying, and that's how like the highest paid is never the best like that's just how, it's just whoever hit free agency recently. That's just how it goes. Whoever goes right after Mahomes, I don't even know what draft that'll be, uh is that like the Baker, Lamar? Yeah like Lamar-
Coley: If Watson-, if Deshaun Watson signs like a week after Mahomes he'll be the highest paid.
Tyler: Yeah, Watson...I was like the thing with them, they might not ever sign because each of them is gonna be like "I can't sign until he signs"
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: Whoever the like whatever that NEXT class, I think that's the Baker, Rosen all that.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Then yeah, Baker's gonna be like "Yeah I want 50 million dollars a year, that's what the market is"
Marty: That is true. 
Tyler: And Lamar Jackson will say okay, "I want 60 then" like that's just how it goes. 
Marty: Did you see tha-
Coley: Yeah if anything Mahomes and them are tellin' Dak like don't take this.
Marty: *nods* Yeah! Hook a brother up.
Tyler: That's why, yeah. I believe they offered it. I don-, I th-...I believe he turned it down. I believe that.
Marty: *enlightened* huh! That was a nice discussion.
Tyler: Kirk Cousins is not good and he's gettin' like so much money Mush.
Marty: So much money.. He is l-
Tyler: You think Kirk Cousins is better than Dak? 
Marty:*holds up 1 finger* No he stinks. 
Tyler: That's what i'm sayin' and Kirk Cousins got like 35, I think all guaranteed...and then just signed another. Just cause he was available, that's all it is. You're available and you can play 16 games?
Marty: Every quarterback sucks! 
Tyler: Yea. 
Marty: Like he's a very average quarterback and they'll pay him whatever he wants just so our defense can try and win us some games. 
Tyler: Yeah, dude Teddy Bridgewater...the Saints backup last year, now he shouldn't of been a backup...but he just got I think 20 million a year 
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: So it's like if you're-
Marty: That's the backup effect though, cause he was sick as a backup the 3 games he played.
Coley: Yeah. 
Tyler: *Nods* yea
Marty: That's the backup effect 
Tyler: Wait until you see Taysom Hill though! He's a bigger Lamar Jackson, a faster Tom Brady...he's really, he's got it all. 
Coley: *laughing and shaking head*
Marty: I'd fucking shit on Taysom Hill's chest, I hate him.
Tyler and Coley:*heavy laughs in unison*
Tyler: He might like that man.
Marty: Yeah honestly I think he would like that. That loser. Did you see-
Tyler: *laughs* Do you think Taysom Hill's better than Dak Prescott? 
Marty: Who? 
Tyler: You think Taysom Hill is better than Dak Prescott?
Marty: No.
Tyler: See. I'm-, it's one of those things, you're gonna look up and be like it's 18 names that you wouldn't take Dak over. and it's like shit, I guess he is a top 10 or 12 guy. If not higher
Marty: Yea...that's how sad bein' a quarterback is right now... did you see the 4th and 15 thing though?
Tyler: *thinking* oh instead of the onside kick? 
Marty: Yeah instead of onside kicks you get 2 attempts at 4th and 15's to- i- sh-
Coley: You get 2?*disgusted*
Tyler: Yea, wait I thought it was 1. 
Marty: No, 2 attempts!
Coley: That should be 3rd and 15 then.
Marty: It should be 4th and 25, that's a normal play.
Tyler: Yeah thats a-, Yeah I thought it was you o-, you get one try but you had to pick up at least 15 yards...if it's two tries, like the Chiefs should just cut their punter right now and just sign another receiver like we'll just never punt. 
Coley: Or is it just like, it's 2 tries, is it on the first one you get 7...now its 4th and 8? Or you go right back and you have to get 15 again? 
Marty: Imma look for the tweet right now. 
Tyler: I feel like-...yeah i'm tryna find it now, I-...either way.
Marty: *reading tweet* Clubs today received updated playing rules, most interesting an alternate to the onside kick that'll allow a team a chance to maintain a possession by going for it on 4th and 15 from their 25 yard line. oh so it's 1, it's only 1.
Coley: Okay, that makes way more sense
Tyler: Yeah, instead of kicking off after a late score in the 4th quarter a team would have the option for one offensive play from its 25 yard line, it would need to gain at least 15 yards to retain possession. 
Marty: 4th and 15 is a regular play for the Chiefs, why would you ever kick the ball off.
Tyler: I was gonna say, a 16 yard gain is replacing like an onside kick? 
Marty: *hands on head* Onside kicks literally win you the game like
Tyler: Yeah yea, i'm sayin' we see-, how many on- successful onside kicks do we see a year? Like 4? 
Marty: I think it's like 4-5, no joke. 
Tyler: Yeah...I feel like if you replace it with this....I, I feel like we'd have that shattered by like the first month of the season. 
Marty: The Chiefs could literally set a record of just never playing defense. 
Tyler: Yeah. *eyes widen* 
Coley:*miming to Fiancé in background*
Tyler: *laughs* Yeah, no...on kickoffs we're just gonna keep going for the ball...88-0 yeah.
Coley:*laughs*
Marty:*laughing* yeah.
Tyler: *laughing* I would-
Coley: Yeah defense literally just never leaves the field.
Marty: Yeah
Tyler: They're just cut all their defenders and just get-, just get more offensive players. 
Marty:*laughing* Just don't-
Tyler: I like that they're trying things tho cause I- the onside kick, it can go man. like it happens successfully 4 times a year? We-, It can go.
Marty: Yeah...I wouldn't miss the onside kick.
Coley: No.
Tyler: Not at all.
Marty: I will say, I wouldn't miss kickoffs. 
Tyler: Yeah I was happy when they changed that. Like more touchbacks? Good. Cause like the 1 100 yard punt return you get, *shakes head* like once every 4 weeks just ain't worth it. 
Coley: No.
Marty: It's not worth it at all. I j-
Coley: It was sick in the Giants Ravens Super Bowl though when there were like 3 touchdowns in 30 seconds because they brought 'em back. That was sick, but we already saw that so, it's like-
Tyler: Mmm, right.
Coley: Pitchers hitting in baseball, KFC, that dodo head always likes to be like " well we wouldn't have Bartolo Colon's home run" listen, we got it, we got that home run! we're not gonna get it again. 
Marty: And nobody else is really talkin' about it besides Met fans. 
Coley: Right!
Tyler: *Belly laugh* That's-, That's the biggest argument against it. Yeah, only Met fans want this. Denied. *stamps desk* 
Marty:*laughs* yeah. *laughs*
Tyler: Aren't they doin' all DH tho this year? Like for the proposed season to come back aren't they doin' DH both leagues? 
Marty: Yeah brea-, yeah breaking news Marty is uh on top of that. All DH's, did you see that breaking news tweet I had too? *eyebrows raise*
Coley: I, I- I did, Jared's refuting it. 
Tyler: Uh oh.
Marty: How's Jared refuting it? 
Coley: Huh?
Marty: Well Jared, can't refute it because he'll never-, Jared says he has all the information and just doesn't tweet it cause he like-
Coley: Never.
Marty: *mocking Jared* "Love my sources", what the fucks the point of having a source then? 
Coley: D- da- Yeah no.
Marty: All I, all I saw was the email the MLB sent to a player. 
Coley: Okay. 
Marty: And that was exactly, I read it word for word and just tweeted it. Didn't ask him
Tyler: Yeah, yeah all DH? I don't, this feels like a very uh *laughs*...I don't know that pandemic had to do with getting all DH in but *laughs*
Coley: Yeah...
Tyler: That was just somebody's like "listen, it's now or never dude" like 
Coley: *very mighty chuckle* Well they've been talking about it for a while, like it was going to go to vote like, 2 years from now? Whenever the CBA was up, and it was probably gonna get uh uh over- like brought in *brings hand towards body* to the NL. So this feels like the NBA switchin' the schedule around to release on Christmas every year. Like this is the MLB's version.
Tyler: Right, yea. 
Coley: Like yeah it's just...DH, DH central for everyone right now. 
Tyler: Yeah no it's best for the pandemic, you don't want uh the pitcher touching the ball and then the bat ih- it- its just a lot.
Coley: *laughs* 
Marty: And the 50 man roster thing makes sense, cause it's no like ma-, minor leagues so they just...have a shit ton of players on there
Tyler: Awhh, I didn't even think about that dude. Like minor leaguers already don't get paid anything
Coley: No they sure don't.
Marty: That's true
Tyler: So if, yeah that's rough. 
Marty: Do you think there's, there's the same amount of people at a horse race an-, than a baseball game? Take the-, no fans. 
Coley: *thinking deeply* What? 
Tyler: *bursts out laughing* 
Marty, Coley, and Tyler: *laughing at the lunacy*
Tyler: Yeah run that by me again Mush? 
Coley:*laughing in absolute confusion*
Marty: Do you think there's the same amount of people-
Coley: *higher altered voice* Is there as many horses at a baseball game as there are at the track
Tyler: Can a horse go 9 innings is what i'm asking.
Marty, Coley, and Tyler: *laughing*
Coley:*mocking* And I saw this man, and this man had some movement *makes curved path with hand* 
Tyler: *laughing* He was dealing! 
Coley: try this again.
Marty: So we're talking about the amount of people at a baseball game, like if we do 50 man rosters so it'd still be 25 people on a roster but like coaches, and umpires and all that shit..-
Tyler: Gotcha. All the like, essential people. 
Marty: Yeah-
Tyler: Okay..
Marty: Like horse racing. The jockey's, the- those trainers, the- is that the same? Because they're l running races and shit so we're seeing...like do they matchup, is it the mos- I think it's way less for the horse races...and i'm not-
Tyler: I think I agree with that, yeah. 
Marty: And i'm not being mean, smaller people. 
Coley and Tyler: *crack up*
Tyler: Yeah less mass. 
Marty:*laughing* 
Tyler: Yeah I think I agree, cause it's really like less-, I feel like their trainer, the owner and then everybody else is like owner's family friends...shit like not essential people, so yeah I think horse would be much le-, much fewer people. Lesser, fewer *trying to figure out the English language, staring into distance*..Not as many people.
Coley:*clearly laughing confused about why this is the subject*
Marty: What're you lookin' at Coley? Wha- What's wrong with you?
Coley: Just a terrible question. What? 
Marty and Tyler: *laughing*
Coley: What are you talkin'-, like who cares? *picks hands up laughing*
Tyler: Would Mike Trout win the Kentucky Derby Mick? Answer me.
Marty, Coley and Tyler: *all laughing*
Coley: It's just the-, I mean we've talked some outlandish stuff but at least it's typically interesting...like where'd horses come from?
Marty: *embarrassed laughing* That the fuh- That's the-
Tyler: The horse or the egg?
Marty, Coley and Tyler: *catching breath from laughter*
Coley: Like is this a hot debate? Like we can't have more people than a horse race at a baseball game, otherwise the corona.
Tyler: Yeah, no that uh- Manfred won't allow that
Marty: Well there's horse races goin' on, horse races' happenin' 
Coley: Okay.
Marty: So if horse races are happening and there're the same amount of people there...baseball can happen. 
Tyler: Yeah but then you also have to factor in that half of the people there are horses. Now I don-, I don't know how the, I know it's jumpin' from animals but I don't know how like if it's more likely to spread from horse to human or vice versa? baseball, everybody touchin' that baseball man 
Coley: Yea, there's also, there's no like tag plays in horse racing...there's no like horses sliding into second.
Tyler: Rundown, yea.
Marty:Tag plays, you think tag plays swipe you've got the corona? 
Tyler:*heartiest of laughs* you just lay the tag on 'em and he's just positive.
Marty: Yeah boom bitch *reaches hand into camera*
Coley: Yeah. Listen no one knows how you fucking get this thing. Gettin' tagged out at-, a- a snap throw from from catcher to 1st? yeah boom, you're out and you got the big rone.
Tyler: A guy just spits his snuff out, whole locker room's got it.
Marty:*laughing* yeah seriously
Coley: Yeah they've talked about banning like s-, like I can't wait to see the first person ejected for like throwin' a fat lip in and spittin' a huge wad on the steps...it's like, you're outta here pal. 
Tyler: Yeah your-, yeah no you're done. That's basically bioterrorism.
Coley:*laughs* 
Tyler: Like you're outta here.
Marty: That's literally just so they can get it goin', like we're banning spitting. they're all gonna do it.
Coley: Yeah. They, they hav- like what do you mean? You can't just tell people, especially baseball players like this is all they have. All they do is dip.
Tyler: Since they were like 14! Like-
Coley: Right.
Marty: Well that's the only thing you look forward to...that's it. Cause there's-
Tyler: That's the whole reason they play baseball! Cause they look cool
Marty: Yeah, the games so long, I wanna dip...I want seeds, I want all the stuff.
Coley: Imagine if Jordan dipped like on court?
Tyler: Ahh, he had a uh, what's my man uh Gus, just keeps the spitoon on the side...Gus just follows him like a referee so he turns and spits and Gus is just catchin' it *makes catching motion with hands* 
Marty: *innocent little chuckle* 
Coley: Yeah hittin', hittin' that shot in Utah and then turning and making that ping sound in an empty arena. 
Tyler: Yeah they Boiiing! *laughs*
Marty: You know Hockey players put like a cut in their foot and put dip i-
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: That shit's gross.
Tyler: Wait what?
Coley: Between their toes. They cut, like they can't spit on the ice which I don't know why? I'd be spittin' all over the fuckin' ice 
Tyler: Yeah feels like it'd freeze immediately right? We'll just skate over it.
Marty: No it's like sludge ya schmoes.
Coley: I'm still, even better, but so-
Marty: It's terrible, you're just playing Mario Kart during like during a- during playing ho-
Coley: I think they'd be fine is my point, uh but so in between periods and shit like they'll take their, their uh uh skates off, they'll take their sock off and then they'll like cut in between their toes and put like a wad of chew in there and it'll get into their bloodstream that way. 
Tyler: Ahhhh, hey *resonates*
Marty:That's just insane-
Tyler: Ay That's innovation, I took a uh, edible patch like that, they're like put it on the top of your foot... I was like this feels like how heroin starts but it was lit! Very much lit.
Coley: *laughs* 
Marty: *very confused* Wait a second you put an edible on your toe?
Tyler: Yeah it was like-, basically like a nicotine patch but it was an edible and they were like on the-
Coley: Yeah THC.
Tyler: Apparently,yeah, like the veins at the top of your foot...I don't know if it's because there's not a lot of skin there but, but for whatever reason I guess it gets into your bloodstream quickest or strongest whatever. The shit work though. So yeah if they're taking snuff through they toes man Hockey a wild sport.
Coley: Wild.
Marty: Completely hypothetical do you have any more?
Coley:*burst out laughing*
Tyler: Do *starts laughing* hypothetically hit my line.
Marty: *laughs* alright *nods* Ah shit. 
Coley: Yeah Hockey, i'll n-...the one thing i'll never understand about hockey is like they're-, like Zdeno Charra's like 75 years old.
Marty: Thats-
Tyler: You said who is?
Coley: The the, the really tall guy on the Bruins.
Tyler: Oh he's like 7 foot or like 6'9 or somethin' like that?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Yeah, yeah.
Coley: And he's like fif-, like actually like 50 years old. Joe Thornton also like 50 years old. There- like, I feel like every team has like one like geriatric and it's easily like 1 of the 2 most physically demanding sports we have. I just don't know how that keeps like sli-, how does that keep happening? 
Tyler: *thinking* I feel like the older you get what you lose in speed, you make up in old man strength.
Coley: *shakes head, not convinced* I guess.
Tyler: So I, I can kinda see it, like he's not gonna lose the ability to skate...it'll be comin' slower, but if they're comin' at him? You're not knockin' a 51 year old off his, off his block...you're not moving him one bit. So I I can-
Marty: I can't even lie that all, all 3 of us are getting older and we're getting way weaker than we were. 
Tyler: Oh by far. By far we'r-, all 3 of us professional athletes yes. 
Marty:*laughs* 
Coley:*points to self* It me.
Marty: But still even like older people look like they're stronger. I'm getting weaker
Tyler:*nods*
Coley: Yeah..
Tyler: Why you think that is Mush?
Marty: I don't know man. This body, this body's no good...we-
Tyler: Let's all 3 of us juice during pandemic. Lets all juice during quarantine, just come out, just jacked. Cause i'm in
Marty: I think that's an interesting conception. I think th-
Coley: I feel like we should've started like 2 months ago when it started.
Tyler: I, loo- I don't think we're gettin' outta this shit soon...I don't think there's any rush. uh i'm just sayin'
Marty: You don't think so?
Tyler: I really don't.*shakes head* I don't. You think we almost home free Mush?
Marty: No I think they're just gonna have to open it and it's like *shakes head* do whatever you want *scoffs*
Tyler:*laughs*
Marty: People are like, they're just "we've done it for 2 months it's getting worse"
Tyler: Le- w-, Has any other country in the world did this? 
Coley: No
Tyler: Literally I haven't seen any, literally any other country be like "I need my coffee"...only us.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: I haven't seen a single country. 
Marty: Oh like goin' nuts like us?
Tyler: Yeah to open back up.
Marty: Dude Florida's open to 50%, they're living no masks
Tyler: Sure, I mean we gotta be close yea. Georgia's gotta be close. 
Marty: That's ins-, it's insane to me, it just doesn't make sense that we're all not doing the same thing. 
Tyler: *nods* Yeah, because people won't fuckin' listen. 
Coley: No. No that's the thing I think we would be like out of the woods if everyone listened from the get go.
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: But they didn't.
Tyler: N-, Yeah New Zealand's out of the woods now...cause they did a 4 week complete shut down. And people listened! China most people listened and they still had like a second surge. So its, I- I- I don't think we *shakes head, whistles* I don't think we gettin' outta this no time soon.
Marty: Ummmm, completely different subject. uhmm, Niandel asked me this question, he said "would you rather drink the water from the tub or after a shower after someone showers that water, or the water from um Tuna Fish can?"
Tyler: Who's shower?
Marty: One of your friends
Coley: My close personal friend, Rihanna? *thinking*
Tyler: Yeah, Beyonce, yeah no th-, i'll take it with 2 creams and a straw.
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler: You said, ah oh man, I *exhale*-
Marty: I'm takin' th-
Tyler: That's really my one though, I ah I can not do Tuna juice man. *shakes head* I hate it.
Marty: That's what i'm sayin' Tuna, I can't even eat the Tuna...i'd rather eat the shower than the Tuna.
Tyler:*laughs*
Coley: Is it the same amount?
Tyler: Yeah like 8 ounces of both or whatever? 6 ounces or whatever.
Marty: I didn't fucking take a measuring cup to it, I don't know.
Tyler: *cackling*
Coley: Well cause like if I only have to drink the small amount of tuna juice-
Marty:*fed up hands on sides of head* You know what Coley, that those people are asswipes...that ask me more questions after the question I just asked them. I didn't-
Tyler: Get 'em off your back Mush! 
Marty: I didn't do the logistics, you drinkin' it! *pointing finger* 
Tyler: *laughing* I think i'm with you Mush, gimme that shower water...I don't want no part of uh tuna fish water.
Marty: I think Coley's slurpin' the water, the Tuna. 
Coley: If it's like yea, 2 ounces vs a whole bathtub full. That's why I was fuckin' asking
Marty: *laughing* I uh-, I'm not good with the metric system, so I don't know.
Tyler: Several kilometers of juice. yeah
Coley: I don't think there's a system you're like, got all the way fuckin' nailed down. Not a single system.
Marty: That's some shit like, like NASA and shit bro we give them too much credit. 
Tyler: *nods* strong agree.
Coley: Yeah tear 'em down, get NASA outta here.
Tyler: Bring 'em down a peg.
Marty: Ahhh no I think we, we need them...we do need them, but it's uh-
Tyler: Do we? I wa-, do we need NASA right now?
Marty: Especially cause we haven't been to the moon since 1972 yeah no we haven't but we give them credit like Quigs. He's NASA blah blah blah, *shrugs and furls brow* I mean...I didn't call him fat! 
Tyler: I remember when he worked for NASA yes. 
Coley: He did! 
Tyler: I know! 
Coley: Yeah, *laughs* 
Marty: I don't know I just think that these- 
Tyler: I've seen the suit.
Marty: These professions get too much when we don't even know what they do just cause we know they're smart.
Coley: I think we do that with uh, and this isn't the best time to go on this rampage.
Marty: *eyes widen*
Coley and Marty: *in unison* Doctors.
Tyler: Oh boy, i'm sittin' out.
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: 100 percent, i'm so in Coley.
Tyler: Barstool Sports show uh, reams doctors during pandemic. *chuckles heartily* 
Marty: Coley i'm still in now, I mean these doctors don't know what they hell they're doing they just-
Coley: *laughing* I wouldn't go that far, they they-
Tyler:*laughing*
Marty: Nah they took 2 anatomy classes, they don't know shit.
Coley: Uh they, they have like an impossible job a lot of the time where they're just trying to narrow down what you have but a lot of 'em won't listen...that's my biggest, like when I had blood clots they told me I tore my ACL and I- I had to cause a scene in the Emergency Room because I knew this guy was a fuckin' asshole and then finally they gave me the blood clot test and they're like "oh yeah big clot" it's like no shit dude. That, how I saw my father have to constantly battle them to get like what he wanted done and be so often right, like I get it you gotta lot of patients, it's a tough job but sometimes clean the shit outta your ears. 
Marty: Yeah, no I believe that. They don't listen for shit cause they're told they're *uses air quotes* smarter than you!
Coley: Yeah. 
Tyler: That or they're like I saw a case in '78, guy thought he had a blood clot it was a torn ACL, you have a torn ACL! Like thats-, give 'em a xray or a uh MRI.
Marty:*shakes head* Uhmm-
Coley: I had another doctor tell me you can't walk on a torn ACL, and I was like "Logan Mankins played an entire season, super bowl and all, on 2 torn ACL's" and the-
Tyler: Didn't even miss the playoffs! Yeah
Marty: That's like, I thought that was a most thing everyone knows you could, you just can't cut on it like-
Coley: Right you can't go laterally.
Marty: To run a route like you can't do that but you can walk fine.
Coley: Yeah. Big argument with, this was with a different hos-, uh different states hospital's...I had that argument so yeah.
Tyler: Also was the doctor-, how old was the uh blood clot ACL doctor?
Coley: He wasn't that old.
Tyler: Okay..cause I have a thing, I was like I feel like doctors should have to get recertified like drivers now.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Like if you're doctor and you're 70 years old, i'm not saying you can't be a doctor anymore but there have been so many advancements since you were in medical school dude.
Marty:*stroking beard* 
Tyler: You just need a little refresher or somethin' every couple years, keep your certification uhh yeah Doctor Tom's fuckin' 85 and is like I uh AIDS? No, i've never heard of it no, I can't no.
Coley:*laughs* 
Tyler: I'm not familiar I just-
Coley: Yeah
Marty: Can you imagine bein' a doctor listenin' to this goin' from Dolphins to us bashing doctors?
Coley: I can't imagine there's ever been a single doctor who's listened to this show.
Tyler: That's how it's happenin', we're gonna get a bunch of replies.
Marty: If you're a doctor and you reach out to me, i'll put you in your place *points finger* 
Coley: *laughs with great force* 
Tyler: Yeah you're gonna get 100 replies from at MD uh Dr. Such and Such 85. *laughs*
Coley: Yeah...I want you to start goin' with the Borelli's when they deliver food and bein' like "you should have to pay for this ya trash ya"
Marty, Tyler, and Coley: *laughing heavily*
Tyler: You feel good? You feel good about yourself? 
Coley:*laughing* 
Marty: You don't know nothin', we put you on a pedestal for no reason! 
Coley: Yeah. It's like well now since we're giving you the food for free you have to take this berating from this guy *points finger* Marty comes in says thank you, "Ya stink! ya know ya stink"
Tyler: Yeah, i'll take it from here Mr. Borelli! Yeah *laughs* 
Marty:*laughing* My time to shine! 
Coley: Doctor's like eh food's really good this is fair.
Tyler: Listen, I think i'd like that *nodding* just getting berated like yeah no i'm not shit, not at all, not in the slightest. yeah, bad person *nodding still* I am yea-, no it's pepperoni! Thin crust, yea.
Coley:*laughs* 
Marty: Another thing I meant to tell you guys, Giraffes don't really sleep.
Coley: I could see that.
Marty: Yeah, I- I- I think it's too much work for them to sleep like cause they're like gettin' up and down from standing up all the time quite a lot...But they only sleep from 10 minutes to 2 hours a day.
Tyler: They're like professional basketball players.
Marty: The hell does that mean?
Tyler: Basketball players don't-, did you know that Mush? Basketball players don't sleep.
Marty: *furls brow* I think they sleep a very good amount.
Tyler:*shakes head* When? 
Marty:*in disbelief* When? 
Coley: They finish late.
Tyler: They finish, they finish a game 8 to what 11 o'clock? You gotta get dressed, do media all that...get home, you're wide awa-...like when you get home from a-, when you get home from the office do you go right to bed? 
Coley: *shakes head*
Tyler: No you're up, so...
Marty: *not buyin' it* Oh..Tony Snell sleeps 19 hours a night.
Coley: *raucous laughter*
Tyler: I don't think Tony Snell's ever went to sleep, i'm gonna push back on that Mush...I don't think he's slept a day in his life.
Coley: Yeah!
Marty: I ju-, Ah stop no media's talkin' to Tony Snell. 
Coley and Tyler: *laugh mightly together*
Coley: We want to! 
Tyler: I'll-, we would love to talk to Tony Snell 
Marty: I'll listen to it.
Tyler: Tha-, look listen-
Marty: I'll listen to that no matter what. When are you guys, uh- when you guys ever get uhhm, cause you will get 'em Ja Morant. Will you let me be on the show? 
Coley: If he'll allow it!
Tyler:*nods*
Marty: I'll l-, i'll-, I could just sit there I don't have to say a word.
Tyler: You're comin' to Memphis with us when we, when we talk to 'em.
Marty: I might have to work.
Coley: Yeah when the world reopens we'll hit on down to Memphis...
Tyler: We'll talk to him through masks and he'll uh punch yours right off your face. *laughs*
Coley and Marty: *laughing* 
Marty: Yea f-
Tyler: Yeah listen it's like 11 o'clock, they go out gamblin' man...they're wide awake with disposable, like think about that! Think about James Harden making, I don't know what he's ma-, like 200 grand a night or whatever?
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: Like per game, so if he's just in a city and like i'm just if I lose 200 grand yeah we play in Detroit tomorrow. i'll be fine. 
Marty: That's so insane dude. *shakes head* Like I buy a, I buy a fuckin' nice Outback ste- steak dinner, i'm like that's gonna set me back 2 days.
Tyler: *nodding*
Coley:*laughing*
Tyler: That's what i'm sayin' and you're coastin' off that for like a month! I had a hot hand last month. You're tellin' people about it for 6 months...Harden's like ah yeah no I had a bad hand in Boston man I think I lost *looks around* 250, ah eh on to the next night!.
Coley: Yeah. 
Marty: I fouled out in 3 minutes, still made 200 grand *laughs*
Tyler: And it's some night's you're gonna win right? There's gonna be a night where it's gonna be like oh yeah I hit! I'm up 400 grand! 
Tyler and Marty: *both laughing*
Tyler: And then after that are you gonna wanna sleep? I wouldn't. 
Coley: No. 
Tyler: You're up 400 grand or down 400 grand? I'm not sleepin' either way.
Marty: I guess you really only sleep when you play like Cleveland and like other places like that.
Coley: Stinktowns?
Marty: What?
Coley: Stinktowns.
Tyler: *nodding* I think it's all plane sleep. 
Marty: I like thi-, I like talking about people and things that stink. 
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Same. It's much less fun talking about things that are good. 
Coley: Yeah, all that Jordan talk was a real drag. 
Tyler: Do you guys like Grandma's? Love Grandmas, love grandmas everybody loves grandmas like *cracks up in laughter*
Coley: *laughing* 
Marty: Jordan's kinda a fraud, not talkin' bout the Wizards. 
Tyler: Oh lets-, let's get to it.
Marty: That's all I think people wanted to hear about, is him on the Wizards like pal what were you doin? The WASHINGTON WIZARDS you went to? *slight shrug*
Tyler: He thought he was gonna be the owner man. 
Marty: And speaking of the Wizards, fuckin' Gilbert Arenas winnin' the uh lottery, that's too much!
Coley: Yeah that was insane.
Tyler: How much did he win? 
Coley: Like 350 thousand dollars.
Marty: That's not being talked about enough, at all. 
Coley: Well cause I don't think people know if it's real or not.
Tyler: Yea. Also is that the news you wanna hear Mush? Multi-millionaire win- hits lottery? In this time? like?
Tyler and Coley: *laughing*
Marty: Honestly Gilbert Arenas i'm okay with cause he's such a wild dog.
Tyler: Jeff Bezos wins car at the mall.. like.
Marty: Yeah I think, i feel like Gilbert Arenas forgot he played in the NBA and like he forgot he had money, he's like "fuck", after he retired he's like "fuck, it's all gone."
Tyler: Yeah *shrugs* I mean he's been retired for like you gotta-, he's been out of his career for what 5-6 years? But he's only what? 33? 34? Like, that's gotta be a wild feeling.
Coley: Maybe a little older.
Tyler: Yeah, how old is Gil?
Coley: I wanna say 40..
Tyler: Let's see, I only sai- cause I was like I feel like he quit relatively early cause the injuries. he's 38.
Coley: No for sure, oh 38 alright.
Tyler: So he's-, and he last played in, lets see, *searching* 2013 and that was overseas so he's been retired for 7 years and he's just *shakes head* absurdly rich and has nothing to do. It's a good life.
Coley: Extremely rich.
Tyler: Good life. 
Coley: He didn't even play the lottery...like they played the lottery on his behalf.
Marty: Cause yeah, I-, the thing I didn't get...when did he tell the person these numbers? 
Coley: Uh I guess he goes all the time like he plays them every week regardless of the-, like how much it is or how little it is...because he says he goes to-, which I actually I think you'll appreciate this...he only goes to that specific gas station cause they let him go behind the counter and press the buttons.
Marty: *devilish smirk* Yuhp. 1 million percent, I used to go to a bar just so I could do that. 
Coley: Like how?
Marty: I got to play with the soda gun *mimes soda gun*
Coley and Tyler: *burst out laughing*
Tyler: But listen, how much money did that bar get out of you over the years? Thousands!
Marty: So much money dude *shakes head* 
Tyler: Thousands! It's an investment.
Marty: So much.
Tyler: Yeah let him pour his own sprite who cares like he's gonna- 
Coley: *laughs* 
Marty: Cause I go out to bars, and i'm actually a big stealer of the soda thing...like when they're not lookin' I *mimes soda gun into mouth* and go back.
Tyler: Awh *disgusted look*
Coley: Pfffff.
Marty: Yeah I mighta started Corona
Tyler: You're why we're never getting side Mush, if you were here right now i'd punch you in the stomach that's a promise.
Coley: Yea..*laughing* 
Tyler: I kne- cause I can see you doin' it too. 
Marty: *joker-ish laugh*
Tyler: Sloppy mouth. Root Beer everywhere
Tyler, Coley and Marty: *laughing*
Marty: But yeah, dude anyone like i'm a big, if they just let me do 1 little thing that someone can't do? it's the best, my gas station-
Coley: That I agree with.
Marty: I go to a gas station just because they *makes gas pumping mime* pump my gas cause they don't pump anyone else's gas.
Tyler: Is that what they tell ya? 
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: They tell me that *shrugs and laughs nervously* Well that is true. that is true though like why do you think Glenny goes to fuckin' My Hero all the time? They treat 'em like gold! 
Coley: Well My Hero makes a good sandwich. 
Marty: Do they?
Coley: Oh yeah, how do you not know that? 
Marty: I've never been, I don't like to go- 
Coley: They're not out-
Marty: I don't like to go to things that people hype up a lot. 
Coley: Are they not on that part of the island? 
Marty: Glenny lives like an hour away from me.
Coley: No I know that but I thought- I thought it was like a chain out there. 
Marty: Oh no no no *lowers brow* 
Coley: You sure? 
Tyler: What's it called? Mow- Miya- My Hero? 
Coley: My Hero.
Tyler: So its a sub place,*looks up thinking* 
Coley: It's a like, like so they call submarine sandwiches Heros.
Tyler: Hmm
Coley: So it's just like a really good like Deli pretty much, uhh-
Marty: Do you guys go to places that people hype up?
Coley: Of course.
Tyler: I mm-, it depend-, like if it's...i'm hesitant once I hear like it too hyped up but uh yeah if I hear a good place, I don't mind, but I will say like if it's not good i'm not gonna continue the hype. 
Marty: That's what i'm sayin' though because most of the time i'm like *shakes head* was it that good? was it that great of an experience? I don't know
Tyler: I'll say, you've gotta catch it like if 10 people told you it was good? Thats too many, you gotta go when like 3 people told you it was good.
Marty: Yeah like dude I just heard about this place, yeah. Sometimes they like-
Tyler: Yeah i'm-
Marty: I'm expecting way too much. 
Tyler: Like after, like oh okay, you're the 3rd person to say this. imma go check this out. You wait till like 15? Yeah, it's no way it can live up to the expectations, it's too much.
Coley: What if it's like 2 completely unrelated people in your life in like short proximaty?
Tyler: MMMm
Coley: Like one day, like you hear it, if I hear it today from Marty and I hear it tomorrow from like my childhood friend who like doesn't even follow any of this  and they're just like *raises brow* have you heard this, or have you watched this show and i'm like oh someone was just telling me about that yesterday...now I know if it's like in these-, if it's crossed all these different bridges and all these, all these different paths like yeah I might need to check this out.
Marty:*as cracked out as ever* And i'm like once I hear it from like, yeah you're right, once I hear it from, if I heard it from like 2 totally different people i'm doing that, that night. 
Tyler: Yeah, you're checking it out immediately. But like 100 people, eh yeah like if 100 people tell you it's the best sandwich you'll ever have it's like ah there's no way...there's no way it'll be that good. 
Marty: No *chuckle*
Coley: And also if Glenny tells me a sandwich is good,*bobs head* that's a man who know a good sandwich.
Tyler: That's why they treat him good in there, you wanna end up on the other side of Boozin' Burgers?
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: Could we talk about somethin' then? Do you think, do you really trust-
Tyler: No!....no go
Marty: Do you trust bigger men with food? 
Coley: Uhhh depends. There's-, there's a point where you go too-, like we were talkin' about this in the office one day like like like, truly super large human beings usually eat like the least tasty-
Tyler: Anything! Yea.
Coley: food ever! Cause they'll just eat whatever and they'll-
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: just cover it in, just like, like they eat just like really basic shit but a lot of it.
Tyler: *nods* yeah like 4 packs of bacon every day
Coley: Yeah..
Tyler: With a carton of Eggs! Yeah
Marty: Yeah
Tyler: I'll say this, most big guy-, I feel like they, everybody has a specialty though. 
Marty: yes.
Coley: Okay *nods along*
Tyler: Like I might not listen to like a big guy on everything but if he's like "listen, when i'm telling you, this pizza place or whatever" it's like okay *nods up and down* you gotta good gauge on Italian imma listen to you, but I can't-
Coley: Yeah..-
Tyler: I might, but if you tell me everything's good then now now I'll *dips head* i'm not gonna trust your seafood take too.
Coley: Me and Dave got into an argument about a burger place in Boston one day and he was like "I think it's trash" and i'm like "it's incredible" and he was like "well I went there with Holly Mangold and she thought it was trash too" and I was like well A thats pretty rude, B there's like constantly a line out, like around the block at this place like? 
Tyler: Right
Coley: So clearly people like find this really good, you know what I mean? Like you and the one person who the first time you met was tryna like make a good impression with you agreeing with you that a place is bad, doesn't exactly do it for me.
Tyler: Yeah, right.
Marty: He's a very easy person to agree with too
Coley: For sure, there's probably cameras on and shit like that and yo- like yeah you're not just gonna li-, not everyone's just gonna be like no fuck you this is a delicious burger. 
Tyler: Right, it's amazing!
Marty: Like you are-, I remember, I act- I'd actually take Glenny's My Hero over any Burger thing he asks me about..
Tyler: Mmm...*looks up thinking*
Marty: Does that make any sense? Because he always talks about My Hero just because
Tyler: Yeah see like that's, like yeah I might not trust Glenny on Burg-, like he does burgers but he, he eats a lot of burgers and uh eh I mean everybody eats a lot of burgers. But if he's like "yeah they gotta good sub place" I take his word on it. 
Marty: Yeah.
Coley: Cause that's also like he's just been going there his whole life and everyone in that section of Long Island is obsessed with My Hero, like it's not even just him.
Tyler: Yeah..I uh-
Marty:*disgusted* Coley what the fuck are you talkin' about? How do you know?
Tyler: *laughs* 
Coley: My ex from college lived there.
Marty: There? 
Coley: That area *makes wide motion* she live-
Tyler: In My Hero's yeah.
Marty: So what, he family and friends loved it? 
Coley: Every, like all of her friends did yeah.
Tyler:*crackin' up*
Marty: I don't buy it. 
Coley: *throws hand up*
Tyler: You're not buyin' it Mush? Call him out.
Marty: I don't buy it *laughing*, yeah, Coley's just rubbin' me the wrong way tonight...I don't know what he's doin'.
Tyler and Coley:*dying of laughter*
Coley: I invited you to this program! Uh so you could clear your name. Yeah nah trust me pff, you wanna talk about the bowling alley in Massepiqua friend? Cause i'll talk about the fuckin' bowling alley
Marty: Really?
Coley: Oh yeah! 
Marty: I didn't know you had this much knowledge about the Island.
Coley: We have, we've certainly talked about this. 
Marty: We probably have *laughs*
Tyler: *laughing* 
Coley: Yeah, JFK High School, National uh Cheerl-
Tyler: Oh uahh
Coley: cheerleading competiton, yeah that's right Tyler..uh national cheerleading uhhhhh champs!
Tyler:*slightly pulls shirt collar, getting hot*
Marty: *laughing like a maniac*
Coley: Like 7 years in a row! 
Marty: Can you believe that fuckin' Kentucky's cheerleading-
Tyler: Oh boy...
Marty: is like 23 of 35?
Tyler: Yeah, wait what's 23 of 35?
Marty: 23 championships out of 35
Tyler: Oh wait no listen, they were dominant and yea no they just got uhh taken down a peg...it happens. 
Marty: Oh the-
Tyler: Too hard, they were literally parting too hard.
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: Did you watch the rundown when Dave was talkin about that? He goes, what? every cheerleader gets naked and throws each other into the lake. like wha-
Tyler: That li-, that was my whole thing, like when it came out it was like cause I was hearin' like Kentucky cheerleading program under-, I was like oh boy this is gon' be like the Olympics.
Coley: The Michigan State shit.
Tyler: Yeah I was like somethin' really bad, and they were like they said they were getting intoxicated and throwing each other naked into the water and i'm like where's the bad st-, this sounds consensual-
Coley: Yeah sounds sick *laughs*
Tyler: Sounds like these people were, like they were of age, they were consenting to be naked and thrown *shakes head* I-, that's a crime these days? I don't-, that *shakes head* yeah I was waitin' for all the Olympic stuff and I was like oh boy and no it was just, they were literally having too much fun.
Marty: *laughs* did you hear that Duke's loss doesn't count this year to SF Austin? 
Tyler: Why was it ineligible?
Marty: It was-, they got penalized, they can't make the tournament for a couple years now. They were cheating
Tyler: Ahhhh what'd they like what, givin' guys, payin' guys like Duke paid Zion? 
Marty: Well the, I-, it's crazy to me, it's crazy that idiots, idiots just think that that's the truth.
Coley: *laughing*
Marty: Do you think that's actually gonna happen? No.
Tyler: 100%
Coley: Yeah. No no one would ever pay one of the, the highest recruited basketball players of all time. 
Marty: They don't need to, they already had the number 2 guy they didn't need the number 1.
Coley: I don't-, Zion wasn't even number 1 I don't think
Tyler:*raises finger* how do you think they got the number 2 guy? 
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: He did it before! 
Coley:*universal money sign with fingers*
Marty: *laughs* don't you, don't you skrilla me, don't skrilla
Tyler: The best hand sign in the world *does money sign* In the world
Marty, Coley, and Tyler:*do skrilla sign together*
Tyler: Everybody knows *skilla sign* you do that, everybody knows what you mean. 
Marty: Every wor-, every country, every language, *does skrilla* you know what this is.
Tyler: Yeah people can't see this *skrilla sign* that are listening to this but like the, when you rub your thumb on your first two fingers like money.
Coley: You gotta do it with a glare-, you never do it with wide open eyes *opens eyes wide like a psychopath*. You also give a glare.
Tyler:*laughing* yeah
Coley:*laughing* yeah it's always mmaa you son of a bitch gimme that fuckin' money. 
Tyler: Mmmmhmm. Everybody knows what that is, like if you see it in public...like wait a minute*looks around* that guy owes that guy some money, lets see how this plays out *watching intently*
Coley: Yup.
Tyler: Whoever invented that snapped. 
Coley: Well not quite, they were close though.
Tyler: *thinks then nods* ahhhh *points* i don't get it.
Marty: *unimpressed* Ahhh, you two are like jokes to me.
Coley: This time of night?-
Tyler: Listen, RJ Barrett *skrilla sign* 
Coley: you're right.
Tyler: Cam Reddish *skrilla sign* 
Marty: Cam Reddish is bad
Tyler: Zion Williamson *skilla sign/hears what Marty said* I mean he's very cool but...
Marty: Good guy, trash basketball player
Tyler: Correct.
Coley: I actually saw somethin' the other day like he-, by month this year, like his points per game and his, it was like his true shooting or something like that per month and by when did it all end? March, like early March, he was up to like 17 and a half points and like 65% uh true shooting and it was just like I think Rudy Gobert saw what was happening with Cam Reddish and was like I gotta put an end to this before this guy-.
Tyler: Yeah I- 
Coley:*laughs* this guy wins MVP
Tyler: By April, yeah by April he'll be at 52 a game! 
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: *stunned* He was really doin' that well?
Coley: Yeah *nods*
Tyler: No, yeah I, I was admittedly very low comin' in on Cam and he's gotten noticably better by the month and he's been really defensively this- all year. 
Marty: He's on, on that team where like you kinda lose track of what they're doing cause Trae Young's doin-
Tyler: Yeah..
Marty: He's on the Hawks right?
Coley: Yes.
Marty: So I don't know what-, like making me-
Tyler:*bursts out laughing*
Marty: Just making sure before I sound like an idiot. *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah.
Coley: *nods* yeah, no smart. 
Marty: Um, yeah cause Trae Young drops like 50 and when he drops 18 or 20 it doesn't matter but like-
Tyler: Yeah.
Marty: When he gets hot, he is an unreal shooter like, and even like when he's a little like against FSU that's the only time I ever saw it, ever happen at Duke cause he never scored at Duke, but he, FSU, he was unreal. But-
Tyler: That was the game they came back wasn't it? 
Marty: Yeah they came back and he was just bangin' everything...Zion fouled out and he was just bangin' 3's everywhere. 
Tyler: I watched that game at a strip club, good times...with Roddy White! Good times. Atlanta's a wild place dude.
Marty: The last strip club I was at was bout a year or two years ago with Quigs. 
Tyler:*laughs* 
Coley: Yeah it was.
Marty: We went to a strip with-
Tyler: *holding 1 finger up* hold on hold on hold on NASA, NAS N' Titties *holds up 2 fingers* I got two.
Coley and Marty: *laughing*
Marty: *clapping*
Tyler: I got 2, i'm hot! What were you gonna say Mush?
Marty: *still laughing* you son of a bitch.
Tyler: *makes cheeky Beaver face with teeth* *skrilla sign*
Marty: We went to, I don't know if I told you this guys but we went to-, these two girls were like...you know when girls sometimes get drunk and they want-, they think it's cool to go to a strip club? Even though you're gonna be spending all the money and not doing anything to anything.
Coley:*nods along*
Tyler: That's why it's very cool for them, the coolest
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: Yeah it's awesome-
Tyler: Yeah.
Marty: So we went, and we're just sittin' there...it's bout 6 AM and it's way too late and these girls like just take out coke and start blowin' lines and they're like, they're like alright you guys are in right? we're like, me and Quigs are like uhh *scratches back of head* I don't-, we did a lot last night soo-
Tyler: Yeah i uhhnn, we gotta get up early...yeah... 
Coley: *hearty chuckles*
Marty: I got so-
Tyler: I'm allergic
Coley: I left my uhhh ah, Cocaine bills at home sorry. 
Marty: They're like stop being losers just do it, we're like ahh ah alright we're like we can't, we can't do it in public so we took the coke...it was a lot of coke...and just went to the bathroom-
Tyler:*bursts out in laughter*
Marty: Put it down the-, flush it down the toiler and, and came back to the to the club table with us, Me and Quigs just like this *fake wiping nose area whilst inhaling* whats up, whats up ladies. *laughs* 
Tyler: And they were like-, did they buy it? Of course they bought it because they were on coke, yeah.
Marty: Yeah, we were like-, they were like you did all of that? We were like why you don't do that much?? *bug eyed look* *laughs*
Tyler: They were like, these guys bad guys
Marty: I went out like 45 times on the road
Coley:*shaking head* they gave you like a full 8 ball and you were just like now we, one line! 
Tyler:*laughs* Mush flushed like 17 5 down the toilet. 
Coley and Marty:*laughing*
Tyler: Whole brick!
Coley: *laughing* I wish I had an, I wish I had an actual visual of just how much because with you saying like ah wa- a lot of cocaine varies so much from person to person like-
Marty: *stroking face laughing*
Coley: Like someo- *mutes mic, I apologize for my lack of lip reading experience* 
Marty: You muted yourself, you muted yourself.
Tyler: Can't hear the Mick man.
Coley:*realizes, unmutes* you don't? Ah boy, I didn't do shit I don't know what happened, I saw it happen but I-
Tyler: Things weren't talkin' 
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: Yeah a lot like the KB trace amounts found in his hotel in Vegas, like to some people that's a lot-
Tyler: Residue, yeah.
Coley: Yeah, and then to other people it's like, if it's not an entire shipping container full I don't think it's a lot. So with you saying that I don't- it could be like a ball, it could be just a little bit but it's so very funny to-, like I wish Quigs had a picture. 
Marty: Yeah...he probably does with his stupid NASA mind.
Tyler: *selfie pose*
Coley:*chuckles*
Marty: Yeah he-, he was in the bathroom like that *imitates said selfie pose* 
Tyler: Yeah, just holdin' it like a fish. *laughs* 
Marty:*laughing* *holding ball sized object* We caught a big one today! 
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: I can't believe that they gave it to y'all on like good faith
Coley: Oh yeah!
Tyler: I would think-, I feel like they would of been like Okay yeah LET'S go in the bathroom and then y'all woulda had to put uh Nose to the grindstone yea.
Marty: Yeah that uh
Coley: Have you never done coke Mush?
Marty: Wha? No I never have. I can't breathe through my nose so I don't know how.
Coley: Ohhh yeah, good point *smirks* 
Marty: Yeah terrible *shakes head* *laughs*
Tyler: Did he overdose? Suffocated, jus-
Coley, Marty, and Tyler: *crack up laughing*
Tyler: killed him dead 
Marty: It got stuck in his nose, he couldn't breathe for shit.
Tyler: No w-, he went down, real quick *laughs*
Coley: Why didn't he just breathe through his mouth? Panic attack, couldn't remember he could do that. 
Marty: You gott-
Tyler: He was eating coke too for some reason, it was it was a whole scene
Marty:*laughing* yeah...*laughing still*
Coley: *literally slapping his knee* Oh boy 
Marty: I just mean like, when you offer someone coke you they're gonna be kinda cool, I can't believe those two girls looked across that table and saw me and Quigs and we're like yeah these guys are coke guys *laughs*
Tyler:*burst out laughing* 
Coley: *laughing* yeah when I see uh Sean Quigmire I see Cocaine Cowboy number 1.
Tyler: Sean *air quotes* BITCHES Quigmire. 
Coley, Marty, and Tyler: *crack up laughing*
Marty: The last-
Tyler: And Marty uh Oak White uh-
Coley: Blanco Mush, yeah *laughs*
Tyler:*laughs* yeah 
Coley, Marty, and Tyler: *crack up laughing*
Tyler: Marty Escobar Mush steppin' out on the scene, I gotta go out with you more with you and Quigs man, y'all be gettin' to it! What kinda strip clubs exist in New York?
Marty: Yeah, this was in Queens too...It wa- we wo-, we walked outta there at like 8 oclock in the morning just *shakes head* miserable *laughs* that's uh always a sad sight to see when it's dar- when it's light out when you walk out *grimaces, shakes head*
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: It is, i mean'd you guys go h-, make some hay with the ladies? Y'all have breakfast? Get some numbers or somethin'? 
Marty:*shaking head in disust* We did absolutely nothing with them, they were just-, they were-, I think they just wanted friends *laughs* 
Tyler:*laughs*
Marty: It was so sad we put in so much damn time. 
Tyler: I was gonna say, till 8 in the morning *tilts head* that's pffhhhh.
Marty: Cause like by 4 me and him are like dude i'm exhausted, get me outta here 
Coley: You know what woulda put a little pep in step?
Tyler and Marty: *laugh*
Marty:*laughing* yeah i get it 
Tyler: Go swallow that toilet water, yeah.
Coley: Yeah
Marty: Oh shit *messes with hair*
Tyler: Yeah, what time did y'all get there? 
Marty: We got there probably aro-, the ba-, well after the bar, the bar was like closing so probably around 2 or 3. 
Tyler: And y'all left at 8? 
Marty: Yeah. 
Coley: *shakes head*
Tyler: Nahhhhh.
Marty: *eyes widen* And then imagine, I had to take an hour ride train home *clutching head*
Coley: Yeah now that's chaos.
Tyler: Oh nahhhh
Marty: Straight after that, you s-, you feel like such a piece of shit *throws hands up* on that train *laughs*
Tyler: You just *laughs* *curls into a ball*
Coley:*hearty chuckle*
Marty:*laughs* Yeah I was just goin' *crosses arms*
Tyler: For an hour *laughs*
Coley: And you just feel terrible like physically and mentally terrible.
Marty: TERRIBLE. Cause you also know once you go to bed, once you wake up you're gonna feel 10 times worse than you feel then.
Coley: Right and it's gonna be like 4 in the afternoon. 
Marty: I-. yeah.
Tyler: Dehydrated yeah *nods*
Coley: Pffff
Tyler: All cause you tryna be cool for Quigs.
Marty:*cracks up laughing* 
Coley: *laughs* Is Dana still at your house or no?
Marty: No, he's in, he's in the city. 
Coley: This guy just won't stay in one place!
Marty: I know he's all over the place man. I'm t-
Tyler: You gonna let him back to your house? It's not a g-
Marty: Bro he has to, he's gettin' out of his apartment. he's gettin' kicked out of his apartment on uhh *thinking*
Tyler: What?
Marty: Tuesday! 
Coley: For what? 
Marty: Like someone's movin' into it 
Coley: *stunned* where's he moving?
Marty: my house! 
Coley: Permanently? 
Tyler: Like officially? Like moving stuff in? 
Marty: *smiling* I've gotta send you this picture from me and Quigs in the strip club at. 8 o clock in the morning *laughs*
Coley:*laughing*
Tyler: Please, please do. *laughing*
Marty: Quigs is wearin' an NC state polo!
Coley: Of course he is! You didn't have to say that, of all the things I knew that were gonna be in this picture that was all I was sure of. 
Tyler: *cracking up* They were like these guys are sooooo coool.
Marty: *laughing* 
Tyler: He's a wolfpack fan, yea.
Coley: *laughs* *makes wolf face with fingers* *sticks out tongue* *laughing still*
Marty: Oh shit, but yeah Dana's get-, there's moving in Dana just has to be out of his apartment on Tuesday and he's like well i've gotta come here and i'm like wuhh- so you're just gonna move in my house for-, till we get outta quarantine? 
Coley: Throws hand up 
Marty:*eyes widen* then he can't ever leave! 
Tyler: Yo-, I *shakes head* I feel like you gotta-, you gonna charge him a lil rent Mush? You gotta make him cut the grass or somethin' or he'll stay forever. 
Marty: I know I should make him.
Tyler: Hey, earn his keep, I ain't sayin' you tax him outta house and home but a man's gotta earn his keep.
Coley: Y-, you had a crisp haircut in this Martin! *looking at strip club picture*
Marty: I look really good in that picture kind of.
Tyler: You do-
Coley: If you weren't squinting the whole time, Tyler it's a live photo too so you get to seem him in action.
Marty: Oh no.
Tyler: Oh wow....I'll say this, no this is exactly the type of picture you crop Quigs out and you put on like your Tinder.
Marty:*laughing* Yeah
Coley: Oh yeah
Tyler: Yeah like you only see the shoulder of Quigs in there.
Coley: Oh baby, *shows picture of Marty squinting* look at, just this by itself 
Tyler: Yeah, that's the-, swipe right!
Marty: Wow!*shocked* I look good actually, look at that to now I look like i'm an asshole *laughs*
Tyler:*laughs*
Coley: Oh yeah terrible, absolutely terrible.
Tyler: This was like last week yeah the date on the picture says uh yeah Nay 2020
Marty: I gotta be honest, I don't fault the girls...I look pretty cool there*laughs*
Tyler: You looked great. 
Coley: Hell of a-
Tyler: Yeah you were a minor league Yankees player and Quigs was your manager. 
Marty:*hootin' and hollerin'* 
Tyler: Quigs is your agent, yeah uh *laughs* what a handsome boy
Coley: Wayne Knight character from Space Jam yeah.
Marty: *yawns* wait what was it about Zion today?
*silence*
Tyler: Wait Zion-
Marty: He's got game or somethin'?
*silence*
Coley: He's gonna wha? 
Marty:*sighs* ahhh give me a second.
Coley:*scoffs*
Marty: I should of never brought it up because then I have to do things.
Tyler: Mmmmhm. It better not be no news about that cheater Williamson. 
Marty: Zi-, Zion rumade-, rumored to be doing "He Got Game" sequel.
Coley:*tilts head* I guess
Tyler:*ponders* 
Marty:*laughs* wha- we can't do that already. 
Tyler: I'm more interested-, I'm more, I'm very interested in his acting chops uh he's gotta be a better actor than LeBron James like *shrugs* 
Coley:*shakes head* I don't know, LeBron's like not a bad actor.
Marty: No I could see LeBron being a great acto-, w- Zion with his voice is like weird as shit.
Tyler: I, I don't see it with LeBron, I just m-, maybe i'm just judging it off of all the like pump up speeches, i'm just imagining him-
Coley: The pump up yeah he can't do that *shakes head and laughs* 
Tyler: I figure that's how-, he read those speeches before, that's how he's reciting lines..."c'mon dogs we know we gotta get this goin' dog c'mon Bugs c'mon"
Coley: That the thing he's writing his own-, he's writing his own like when he's reading other people's I think it's easier for him
Tyler: I hope *shakes head* I would watch Zion in "He Got Game 2" 
Marty: Fuckin' Tom Brady, 2021 documentary? *throws hand up*
Coley: That was-, I don't
Tyler: 9 parts? Keep it *shakes head* 
Marty: And I don't like, I don't like documentaries on people still playing. 
Coley: I think that's fair.
Tyler: *nods* I agree with that, I- I agree with that.
Marty: Like I wanna like forget about them and then like oh wow remember Tom Brady's run like a couple years later.
Coley: Well when they did like the, when they did like the Brady 6 all about just his draft class and everyone else from his draft class was like long dead...like that was cool.
Tyler: It makes sense, yeah
Marty: That's different, yeah yeah, not his championships that he won like 4 years ago.
Coley: Yeah I don't *shakes head* understand the rush to, I don't understand...I don't even know, that's the thing is it even a documentary or is it just like 9 Tom Brady life lessons that he wants to teach the kids? 
Marty: *laughs* seems like that yeah.
Tyler: Either way I ju-, *shakes head* I just can't imagine that being interesting...like if they did, if they put The Last Dance out right after '98 you have no context like nothin'- nothin-
Coley: Right.
Tyler: had set in yet and yeah.
Marty: Yeah like our kids are gonna hear about Tom Brady, they would like to watch it because they hear it all the time.
Tyler: Right. 
Coley: Maybe I mean listen, there's a chance he was just like "this Mahomes guy in like 5 years is gonna have like 5 of these things so let's get this out now" *laughs* get this out right now.
Marty: Get this out *laughs* yeah that's kinda true.
Tyler: Before he just passes me in everything
Coley: *laughing* Yea, I just want this on the books, I just want this on record-
Tyler: I know, I was good I can prove it *holds finger up* 
Coley: Whatever ha-, that's why I don't know if it's f-, what did Schefter's tweet say? Cause that's where I found out it was 9 *looks up on phone* 
*silence*
Tyler: I just saw 9 part and I was like oh n-, like wha-, *shakes head* i'm just not interested in that... and that's not even on him, there's a a lot of athletes I would not watch a 9 part documentary on. 
Coley: That's wha-, yeah it doesn't even say documentary 
Tyler: Or series or whatever, yeah
Coley: Yeah 9 part-, that's why I think it's just like him talking about success which may be worse.
Tyler: yeah I, i'm out. *shakes head, rolls eyes*
Marty: yeah way worse.
Coley: I'll certainly check out 1 and see what happens but i'm the- like, when the Jordan thing got announced and they, they just showed all the people who were gonna be talking in it. I was like oh yeah i'm all in on that...when this came out today I was just like, I feel like I know literally everyt-, like I never watched the Hernandez thing on Netflix cause I live-, like I lived through that...I knew, i'm sure there were things I didn't know but I also don't care like I knew most of it. This I know all of.
Tyler: Mhm, right..I'll say like if it came out that they had been recording since 2009 or somethin' like The Last Dance and lik-, it was like Oh okay maybe, like they just had full access but nah, after the fact...*shakes head* i'm good. 
*silence*
Coley: Yeah it's weird news
Tyler: I would watch a documentary about Zion going to jail for taking money from Duke though...you gon' watch that Mush?
Coley: *laughs* 
Marty: *raises eyebrows* Oh fu-
Tyler: When he goes to prison, Guantanamo Bay? 
Marty: It-, it's just sad that he ha-, that Mickstape is not pro troops. It really is.
Tyler:*laughs*
Coley:*confused* Wh- Who's the troop? 
Marty: Coach K!
Tyler: Zion a troop? 
Coley: Oh Coach K *throws head back* 
Marty: Coach K served your country for you 2 schmucks. *nods*
Tyler: He yelled at my Aunt Gladys too so why do I, How do-
Coley and Marty: *burst out laughing* 
Tyler: How do I reconcile that!? *laughs*
Marty:*laughing* Aunt Gladys still ain't there se-, she ain't the same since that day.
Tyler: *shakes head* 
Coley: No, no how could she be.
Tyler: Since K tore into her.
Marty: I've realized I can't get excited when I talk cause then nothin' makes sense *laughs*
Coley: That's the problem!
Tyler: Same. *nods* same
Marty: Big problem! *laughs* 
Coley: Marty I bought something recently that when it get's here i'm gonna show you, you're either gonna be very excited or you're gonna yell at me. 
Tyler: Uh oh
Marty: *hands on head* So you can't tell me?
Coley: No *shakes head* I can only show you. 
Marty:*scratching back of head* bro my parents facetimed me the other day, they got like a coffee machine that's a uh, instead of a coffee machine it's a liquor machine 
Tyler: *in disbelief* I saw that on Twitter man!
Coley: Ahhh yeah.*nods*
Marty: Bro it's insane, it pours like-
Tyler: It looks incredible.
Marty: You have Tequila in this one thing, got rum in the other one and then they have like the-
Coley: Vodka
Marty: The cups, that's like a, uh this is a, this is a-
Tyler: Whiskey sour or yeah- *nods*
Marty: And they just put it in and push it down, it's insane
Coley: Yeah
Tyler: I'll saw 'em online, they cost like that, i think it was like 399 and people are like "that's insane"...i'm like I didn't think it was that much like honestly like if you're gonna...if you're buyin' a piece like that, *nods* you're gettin' your money's worth, it's an investment yeah. 
Coley: Yeah, it's a robot bartender.
Marty: I don't gotta clean anything, theres not juice all over my counter, it's unbelievable.
Coley: *hearty belly chuckle*
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: I would have to- 
Tyler: Did they leave it at house there or do they have it at their house in Florida? or wherever they're at?
Marty: In Florida, yea yeah they would n-
Coley: They went back? 
Marty: It'd be way too nice for me here.*laughs*
Coley: They couldn't hear those pots 1 more time they were like we need to get the fuck outta here.
Marty: yeah. *laughs*
Tyler: We're outta here dude.
Marty: *nodding* 
Coley: I uh, I would wanna try one before I bought it though...You know what I mean? Cause those packets, it all comes down to those packets, if they're just like all sugar and terrible...you'd only use it a couple times. 
Marty: But they-
Tyler: I'd say-, Yeah.
Marty: They say they've been unbelievable, the only bad thing is there's no doubles...you can't do doubles.
Tyler: I was gonna say, that's the, if I can alter like the pack is the pack but I can alter how much liquor I want to counteract that, which I mean I still can and will but if I can't double.
Coley: Yeah you just pour it in after.
Tyler: Mhm.*nods*
Marty: You can just pour the extra in there, but it's just cool that it literally just sits on th-, it's bullets on the side just filled- 
Coley: Right.
Marty: With like tequila and rum it's crazy.
Tyler: Yeah *thinking* I can't believe like it had never been thought of before. I'd never thought of it before, that shit blew my mind. 
Marty: I yeah-
Coley: That's the thing, like how old is the Keurig? Like 7 years? 
Tyler: That's, I feel like this shoulda came first as alcohol, it shoulda went backwards! Someone should just now of been like, hey that alcohol thing we should do that with coffee!
Coley:*shaking head* listen, people care-, people care way more about coffee than they do alcohol.
Tyler: Oh 100%, if they like prohibition and people had to choose? Alcohol would be fuckin' outta here.
Coley: *pfffff* 
Tyler: For Coffee Beans. Decaf would get Whiskey outta here dude. 
Marty:*laughs*
Tyler: We would never have another alcoholic again and Starbucks would be thriving.
Coley: Uh ya- y-, It's true.
Tyler:*nods*
Marty: *slides off his bed*
Coley: Alright bye Marty.
Tyler: Yeah see you guys. *holds peace sign* *laughs*
Marty:*reappears laughing* 
Coley: What wh-, what was this move?
Tyler: Gettin' comfy.
Marty: No I got my charger.
Coley:*full of joy* Oh! 
Tyler: Mush has the least charged devices i've ever seen.
Coley: *laughs and shakes head*
Marty: Bro i'm never am charged for shit *laughs* 
Coley: I pr- I- I- *in shock* I appreciate you reaching for the charger I feel like even a month ago you woulda just let it die.
Tyler: Absolutely.
Marty: I do let things die often.
Coley: Mhmm. 
Marty: I li-, it's like Kramer I like to see when i'm on E in my car, see how far I can go. 
Coley: For sure. It's a little bit of a thrill.
Tyler: Little bit, yeah...in New York it sound's awful though.
Marty:*messes with hair* well they don't-, I- I don't- 
Tyler: There's no gas stations anywhere, yeah.
Marty: Is there no gas stations in the city? 
Coley: None *shakes head* 
Marty: How? How do you drive?
Coley: Where would th-, where would you put 'em? *lifts hands* 
Marty: *so confused* What?
Coley: In the city? Where would you fucking put a gas station? 
Tyler: 19th floor *laughs* 
Marty: *looks around like everyone's insane* 
Coley: Yeah like *hearty laugh* 
Tyler: High rise uh Chevron *laughs*
Marty:*covers mic, inaudible yelling*
Coley: What are you yelling?
Marty: In w-, in some of those parks, cut out th- a little-
Coley: *mighty chuckle* 
Tyler: *laughs* yeah-
Coley: That's what i've often said about that city, too green!
Marty:*laughs* 
Tyler: *laughing* nah there's a couple churches on 15th street, outta there. Get a Marathon in there. 
Coley: No I think they put 'em on like the East and West side highway. Like not a lot of 'em but.
Tyler: Like yeah before you ge-
Marty: So if i'm driving in Manhattan in a car, I have to leave Manhattan to come back?
Coley: If-, I-
Tyler: I think about it when I come in from the airport because i'm-, I just remember thinking like okay I see gas stations close to the airport, but then after a while I don't see and and i'm like where do people-, like if you're just like if you're goin' to the city that day you just gotta get your gas uh for the week!
Coley: That's the thing, if you live in the city...you w-, you only have a car to leave the city like you don't drive around the city all the time.
Tyler: Right
Coley: And if you don't live in the city and you are driving into the city, like Queens has em, Brooklyn has em, Jersey has em.
Tyler: They be expensive too, y'all be taxin' 
Marty: Dana fuckin' took my car to the city for-
Tyler:*laughs*
Marty: He fuckin' got a ticket. Parking.
Coley: Of course he did.
Tyler:*smiling, nodding*
Marty: And he goes-
Tyler: Parking?
Marty: He goes, why you so mad it has nothing to do with you *raises brow* I said *flaberghasted look*
Coley:*smiles, throws hand up* yeah it does
Marty: ITS MY CAR *throws hands up, pissed*
Tyler: It has everything to do wit- *bursts out laughing*
Marty: They got the license plate, it's under my name.
Coley: Yeah no like this is Dana *throws hand up, laughs* 
Tyler: Oh yeah no it's uh you're good Marty.
Marty: And he was like "i'm paying" and I was like yeah I know you're payin' it you moron.
Tyler: What kinda ticket'd he get? Parkin'?
Marty: Yeah parkin'..he a-
Tyler: How much are those, 25? 
Marty: Wha?
Tyler: How much is the ticket? 
Marty: *thinking* 65 
Tyler: *grimace* Shit!
Coley: *shhhhhh*
Marty: Yeah *laughing* 
Tyler: That's a-
Coley: Did he park literally on top of a hydrant? *laughs*
Marty: He didn't know you had to switch sides of the street. 
Coley: Yeah *nods*
Tyler: Dana parked in front of a yeah fire engine.
Coley: *laughs* Yeah *laughing still* 
Tyler: Like I didn't know I couldn't do that guy's i'm sorry 
Marty: He's a-, i'm a moron, he's an actual moron.
Coley: Yeah he stinks. 
Tyler: 65 bones? *disgusted* That's rough *shakes head*
Marty: Ahh
Coley: Big city livin' 
Tyler: *shakes head* Ours is 25 and I don't pay them either, damn sure ain't payin' 65
Coley and Marty: *burst out laughing*
Coley: I gotta ticket on my Uhaul once and I for sure didn't pay that *astonished look*
Tyler: Oh..well *laughs*
Marty: You'd actually be an idiot to pay that.
Tyler: Right.
Coley: You'd have to be the dumbest person alive. 
Marty: Yeah.
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: Like why even write that ticket li- like they ey- yh- it's a Uhaul.
Tyler: Right..like hey look at me man, you know- you think imma pay this shit man? c'mon
Marty: Dude, I- I did somethin' not great the other day... I- I keep...I get hammered with easy pass-
Coley: Ohhhh yeah.
Marty: And they're only 3 dollars it's like literally 3 dollars, my ticket was 19 dollars this one...I didn't pay it for like 5 months...it was 230 dollars-
Coley: *raucous laughter* 
Tyler:*laughing*
Marty: So I called, I called yesterday I was like you know I aaahh the- the times right now I uhh can't-
Tyler: TRYING.
Coley: *bursts out laughing again*
Marty: I can't be doin' 230 dollars and they took it down to 19 *laughs*
Coley: That's incred-, I mean thats an incredible swing for you.
Tyler: Wait what'd you get the ticket for? 
Marty: Wha?
Tyler: What was the original ticket for? Like what did you get- 
Marty: It wasn-, it was for going through a toll without the EasyPass.
Tyler: Ahhh I gotchu *laughs* from 230 to 19 yeah that's pretty good. 
Marty: Yeah. The times man *shakes head*
Coley: My biggest thing with those is like why, no one's that- that's made up money those fees like it's not like solving like no one's job gets saved because you paid that money. You know what I mean? It's the same 19 dollars to use the-, if I drove over or didn't, the road's still gonna be there like that 19 dollars should never get higher.
Marty: No *shakes head* Yeah that's someone just stealin' our money somewhere. 
Tyler: Right. *nods*
Coley: Stealin' it!
Tyler: Literal theft yeah.
Marty: The workers that are workin' on the bridge think it's goin' to them? Ain't goin' to them.
Coley: No, no. It's make believe money. And that always infuriates me-
Marty: yeah
Coley: Mine went from, cause I had the same thing like I-, I drove January and I think it was like 11 dollars and I didn't pay it till like the other day and it had gone up to like 30. It didn't go up to 200 like yours but I was like ehhh i'm not gonna argue this i'm just gonna pay it.
Marty: I thought 200 was a bit much *laughs* 
Coley: *laughs* a little excessive
Tyler: Ours start at I think 25, 50 *thinking* I think 75 but I i'm sure it get to 200 but not from 19, damn.
Marty: But that's a classic thing like when you get the ticket like Fuck! I'll pay this later.
Coley: Right *nods* 
Marty: And then it's just like you get an email or somethin' and it's like you owe a shit ton...What!? 
Coley: Yeah!
Tyler: Tickets I get I immediately know which one's i'm gonna pay and which one's I don-, i'm not gonna pay. I know off the bat.
Coley: For sure. 
Tyler: Like i'll never be here again. So i'm uhh nah. 
Coley: Have you guys ever challenged like uh uh a moving violation? Like a speeding ticket?
Tyler: Absolutely. 
Marty: I've never gotten one. 
Tyler: Pussy.
Coley: Yeah.
Marty: Well i've gotten-, I almost got arrested because of one but I've never got one.
Coley: *laughs* 
Tyler:*laughs* Way to try to-, way to save the story Mush.
Marty: Well my dad was an uh a detective so I had like all the calls and shit.
Tyler: Ah 
Coley: Ahh. Yeah the best would be go- *thinking* like have you ever beaten em? 
Tyler: I got it reduced but I, it wasn't a throw one out.
Coley: I've gotten one reduced, one thrown out, one very much upheld. im 1-1-1.
Tyler: That ain't bad. I did have one, a parking ticket, I was like I might not pay this because I can dispute...it was my car and they had a picture but on the ticket they wrote the wrong license number.
Coley: Mmmmm.
Marty: Yup! *points*
Tyler: I was like there's a discrepancy and they were like you know what they meant. This is valid. I'm like *looks around in disgust, hits table* thwarted!
Coley and Marty: *laughing*
Coley: That is very funny, you were just like huh huh *points one finger, eager look in eyes* they were like pay the fuckin' ticket.
Tyler: I was like technicality, they're like shut up, next.
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Yes sir! and I just *fake walks away*, do y'all take check? Cashiers?
Coley: *laughs* yeah, yeah once I went and it was like someone told me I ran like a red light when it was very clearly green so I think it was just like end of the month quota like I just have to get this ticket out there...if you pay you pay and if you don't and you fight it-
Tyler: yeah
Coley: Like i'm just gonna like *shrugs* cause like what happened is you wait out in like the hallway in the judges chamber and I saw like the cop come in and they called 2 and then he left-
Tyler: *nods*
Coley: and I was like I know for a fact that was my cop. Like I couldn't be more sure that was the guy that pulled me over. and then I-, they called me in and it was like yeah he left for the day so any, any case that's his that he already left for just automatically get dismissed like he forfeits.
Marty: *pumps fist*
Coley: and I was like, this is great news thank you.
Tyler: Great, yeah.
Marty: That's a great day. 
Coley: *swirls head* Huge day! As soon as I saw him leave I was like I know what this means. 
Tyler: Yeah
Coley: This is big time win for the Mick man.
Tyler: I was bankin' on that, like I fought w-, I had a 700 dollar spend ticket
Coley:OOH boy
Tyler: I didn't like it, so I went to fight it cause I didn't like it *shakes head*
Marty: What were you goin' like 140 in a 20?
Tyler: In a school zo- *nodding* no I was doing 92, no I was doing 92 in a 50. To my *holds hand on chest* I didn't know it was 50 because i've never seen a speed limit sign that says 50 for one, I thought it was a 70...I was still going very fast but-
Coley:*cracks up*
Tyler: As the guy gave me the ticket I was like is there anything we can do officer and he was like " I take speeding very seriously" *shakes head in defeat*
Marty: Ahhhhhhw no.
Tyler: Yeah and so I went o-
Coley: You're like me too! *mimes punching the gas while both hands on wheel*
Tyler: Yeah *laughs* *engine rev sound* yeah, I drove to like challenge it. When I walk in, he's already there, i'm like this guy's-, he's been there since 8 AM.
Coley: Yeah 
Tyler: So I, I think I like no lo contendre and they lowered it to 400 and I had to take like defensive drivers classes and got no points...that's why I was like this money means nothing...you can cut a 700 dollar cost to 4, like *shrugs with 1 shoulder* that tells me that you can cut it to anything so. 
Coley: Yeah *nods* right.
Marty: Yeah, I told you about that though...the one when I was convincing my friend that my car ran on milk NOS?
Tyler: *laughs* Nah
Coley: Sounds like a familiar story. 
Marty: I went 80 in a 20 cause I was convincing him, cause theres this one *makes small size with fingers* button on my gas pedal.
Tyler: *nods*
Marty: That you press it, it feels like it jolts the car and I convinced him that I pour milk into it and it makes the car go faster...and he was like startin' to believe it so I fuckin' rammed it. 80 in a 20 and the guy just, put me in the back of his cop car.
Coley:*shakes head* yeah that's a felony-
Marty: He thought i-
Tyler: 80 in a 20 yeah that's a neighborhood you should be in jail, I was on the highway ehhh I *chuckles* I took some liberty with it.
Marty: *laughing* Oh you, 92 in a 50 ain't good pal!
Tyler: *tipping cap, laughing* Hey but listen ain't no kids jumpin' out on the highway! 
Coley: Right.
Tyler: Ain't no soccer ball rollin' out.
Coley:*laughs*
Marty: There's not many day's that I can convince someone that milk is running my car!
Coley: Yeah no you tell the cop that they're definitely gonna let you go!
Tyler:*cracking up* Right, your honor I w- I was explaining to my friend here-
Marty: Yeah! *laughing*
Tyler: That skim milk-
Coley: I was pulling the wool over his eyes you understand!
Tyler: Yeah *laughing* that skim milk and the judge cut's him off...makes your car go faster yeah no I did that too yeah just boys being boys *bangs table* get 'em outta here. yea
Coley: Some wh-, I was am-, like Amherst is a notorious like they'll just put speed traps everywhere like their whole town thrives off giving college kids tickets. 
Tyler: *nods* their economy? yeah
Coley: That's their whole economy so comin' right off the highway it's like this big bridge you go down it's like a big ramp and it's fun to go down like so it's a ramp it's fun and then like *snaps fingers* immediately like hidden in the trees they'll have like a 35 mile per hour sign like hidden that you don't kno-, you don't ever see and one day I was going *thinking* like s-, I think it was like 69-
Tyler: HAH!
Coley: Cause he was like, when he pulled me over he was like if you were going 1 more mile per hour this wouldn't just be a speeding ticket...it'd be a felony. because it'd be double the speed limit.
Tyler: I got you. Superspe-, do y'all have superspeeder? That's what they call ours, if you're over so many, like if I was doin' 95 instead of 92 it would of been-, I think if you're over 25 over on a 2 lane or 30 or somethin', it's somethin' like that...if it's superspeeder it's automatically a felony like you go to jail like on the spot. 
Coley: It sounds sick. 
Tyler:*nods speechless* Big fan. I was gonna say, glad I did not get it 
Marty: Wait that's-,
Tyler: Huh?
Marty: You go to jail for speeding?
Coley: You can.
Tyler: If it's superspeeder, if they're like you're being cause I think it's, I think it-
Marty: Bro what? They don't call it superspeedah!
Coley:*cracks up*
Tyler: When did you live in Georgia Mush? 
Marty: *laughing*
Coley: '92 season, uh-
Marty:*still laughing*
Tyler: I typed in superspeeder and it recommended Georgia before I finished.
Marty: Shiiit. 
Tyler: A driver convicted at 75 miles an hour or more on a 2 lane road or 85 miles an hour on any road or highway. so yeah I probably shoulda got superspeeder. 
Marty: That's insane. 
Tyler: Yeah they, it like suspends your license. They like take that very seriously.
Coley: It sounds like you were like just crushin' it though like you had a plaque *mimes taking selfie* 
Tyler: Yeah I was, i was late to work and I was like this is great, *sings in a little toon* goin' to work goin' to work *shakes head* it wasn't.
Marty:*laughs* 
Tyler: Cops!
Coley: Speeding yeah *snaps* 
Tyler: Yeah I was-, officer I was literally trying to go work! and he was like I don't take too lightly to that son. And I was like *nods* okay! 
Coley: Yeah there's nothin-, nothin' worse than, nothin' worse-, I got pulled over once and i'm glad it was, it happened to be someone I went to high school and college with and I got pulled over for going through a green light. 
Tyler:*nods*
Coley: And it's one of these things where where like- 
Tyler: A green light?
Coley: It's, it's a weird road *demonstrated road with hands* so its like one of the, like if the-, most of the time you're going 2 ways in a green light like both of them are green you know what I mean? *hands going two different ways* like both, both-
Tyler: Mhm *nods*
Coley: Both ways can go but at this one only my way was green, his was red so he thought I just went.
Marty: Ohhh. 
Tyler: Ahhh.
Coley: I was stopped. Like I was stopped and then it turned like what kinda psycho stops and then's like you know what? I disagree with this red light let me just cruise an-
Tyler: Yeah *laughs*
Marty: *holds hand up*
Coley: and just blow through a red light
Marty: That's- that's somethin' i'd do, Hand up
Tyler: Mush is like i'd do that.
Coley: Yeahh, well it was-
Marty: Left on red Marty. 
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: *holds one finger up* you can-, that's technically legal. but we'll get to that later. 
Marty: *not buyin it, face of disbelief* What? 
Coley: If you're on a one way turning onto a one way you can take a left on red.
Tyler: Oh yeah *nods slightly*
Coley: That's legal. 
Marty: Oh mine was crost an intersection.
Tyler: Not through a transit yeah yeah
Coley: Yeah Mush was on the highway *laughs* 
Marty: Yeah I told ya I used to do that thing where I, I- I stop in the middle of an intersection I put my flashers on and start sayin' I don't know what's happenin'-
Coley: *the mightiest of laughs*
Marty: And people get out to help me and I take off.
Coley: *laughing still*
Tyler: But this is-, this is getting you out of what jam like wha- when the intersection's blocked or somethin' or what, what're y-...what's the purpose of this.
Marty: No jam just pure entertainment.
Tyler and Coley: *crack up laughin'*
Marty: *laughs slightly* I didn't tell you that? 
Coley: Jam free, sans jam. 
Marty: One time it was really fucked up because I like, I did it in a big intersection and I was still in college, I was like this *waving arms down* like ah i ca-, it's not workin' people are beepin', I was like I ca- it's done, nobody could go and then of course a, a short yellow bus *looks in side eye* was stuck and I had to, I was like oh no this is where my whole thing just-, that was the last time I ever did it.
Coley: Smart *nods* 
Marty: Yeah like-
Tyler: Good, you learned your lesson. 
Marty: it's very funny when like all the people *makes scrunched up face* "what are ya doin!!!!" *laughs* 
Tyler: Yes very funny when the elderly uh- yea-
Coley: Yeah on their way to the hospital uhh- *laughs*
Marty: Ah ah what do you mean hospital, i'm i'm if anything i'm causin' everyone to not crash!
Coley: Yeah nothin' says not crashing like stopping in the middle of a busy intersection for no reason.
Tyler:*laughing*
Marty: Coley did you hear the part that I said I had my flashers on? 
Coley:*laughs* You're right my mistake.
Tyler: Uh duh! 
Coley: I feel so dumb uhh my apologies Martin! 
Tyler: *laughs*
Coley: But yeah he pulls me over and i'm, it was after...It was when I was still workin' security so it was like 2 in the mornin'...I just wanna go the fuck home so I don't even like look up I just hand my license and i've got my hands here *mimes hands on the wheel* and i'm lookin' forward and all the sudden I hear Coley...my license doesn't say Coley so I know it's someone who knows me, this is before Barstool too so I look up and oh- 
Tyler: That can be a great sign or a not great sign *laughs*
Coley: *laughs* Right, yeah. Punch! *punches hand*
Tyler: You used to beat me up everyday in school yeah *laughs*
Coley: Uhh and so he's like what are you doin'? Like i'm just tryna go home, like i'm not even happy to see him. Like i'm just like dude can we get this over with like i'm pumped i'm not gonna get a ticket here I assume but also like let-, let's move it along and he's just like why'd you blow through that red light, I was like I didn't and he was like, yeah no you did....I was like I drive this way every day every day like i wouldn't just b-
Tyler: And he's like yeah! and I arrest people like you, every day! 
Coley: I was like also another car went through with me, why do-, i've seen cops pull over 2 cars before why did you only pull me over? Like whuu- what was this move? The other had multiple people in it like ii- you're just pullin' me over? Uh and so-
Tyler: He sure did. 
Coley: Yeah we just got, I was like I know it was green. I'll die knowing I went through a green light like the fact that you pulled me over is chaos...but if it wasn't someone I knew I would've gotten a ticket for just driving through a green light.
Tyler: Oh yeah you would've been done. I almost got one for-, a cop said I was going down the wrong way on a one way and I was like, i'm looking at a stop-, a working stoplight. 
Coley: *hearty laughs*
Marty: *regains conscience* 
Tyler: A working! It wasn't down, like out of commission, it wasn't like new and not working...I was like I slowed down on the yellow and went through on the green *eyes widen*, he was like mmm *thinking* and he talked to his partner and he like put the pad away and he was like get outta here. I was like ye- wha- *laughs*
Coley: Yeah they're under the hood, they're like green does mean go *shrugs* hey he's got us there!
Tyler: As far as I know! No it's uh it's clear as day, 38 B uh.
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: Ahh man.
Tyler: Talkin' tickets.
Coley I haven't seen many people pulled over during all this. 
Marty: Dude they're home-
Tyler: I've seen cops outside though, because I feel like people are speeding-
Coley: Oh i've seen 'em out yeah.
Tyler: Have you seen the people that drive from New York to LA? Like that's their whole thi-, they just try-, they're...they have a name but they drive from New York to LA they're trying to set the record for how fast they can do it. And they're-, they've done it in like 30 hours but they were like pandemic, nobodies on the road! *eyes widen* So they just get-
Coley: 30 hours? *eyes wide of shock*
Tyler: I think it-, they have-, I can't think of the name of 'em but this sounds like one very wack group to be a part of. 
Coley:*shakes head* terrible group
Marty: Yeah that's like the elderly people that'll be at the mall just to walk.
Coley:*bursts out laughing* 
Tyler: I understand that more than uh yeah i'm rea-, they made the 2,800 mile journey from New York to Los Angeles in 27 hours and 25 minutes. 
Marty and Coley: *in unison* That's
Marty: Crazy.
Tyler: They stopped for a total of 22 minutes.
Marty: How many pee bottles did they have in there? *shakes head*
Tyler: Yeah, you gotta be just wetting yourself. Just pissing out the window like-
Marty: That-, that's insane but like what...what good comes out of that? 
Tyler: They just-, because once they get there, they send it back to the group and they're like oh okay now we gotta beat 27 25 *shakes head*
Marty: I guess that's like our dead bird group, just like *eyes widen* we got a better bird today fellas? *laughing*
Tyler: *laughing* 
Coley: I would much rather be in the dead bird group like not even a question. 
Tyler: I don't even wanna fly from New York to LA.
Marty:*still looking like a crack addict* No! 
Tyler: I damn sure don't wanna like 22 minutes of stops?
Coley:*lifts hat up, scratches head* 
Marty: Fuck that.
Tyler: That might be like if I stop one place, oh I wanna eat there! That might be my whole 22 minute stop and i'm not even drivin' 27 extra hours after that.
Coley:*yawns* How fast are these people going?
Tyler: Oh god let's see, new speed record...let's see-
Marty: Wher- where the fuck did you see-
Tyler: Cannonball run that-, that's what it's called.
Coley: That's a movie!
Marty: *laughs*
Tyler: Let's see they, the record was in 2013 two guys drove an average of 98 miles an hour in their 28 hour 50 minute cannonball run and they said that was unbeatable...and guys broke it by an hour and 25 minutes so I- i'm guessing 105 miles an hour *sits back* for 27 straight hours? c'mon man.
Coley: *speechless, disheveled* i'm I-, i'm just it the people who broke it, the new ones cause this one...is yours from December?
Tyler: Yeah, 2019? Yeah
Coley: Yeah, the- the uh they topped out at speeds of more than 190.
Marty *scoffs* I mean that's what kinda car is that?
Tyler: I was gonna say, that shouldn't count. If you're doin' it in a uh-
Coley: Oh they're in an AMG 
Tyler: Oh yeah c'mon man, do that shit in a civic like a man
Coley: *laughs heavily*
Marty: Yeah that's somethin' i'll care about, if you're doin' it in an altima like alright now i'm on to you but if you're doin' like 80 miles an hour the whole time...I wanna know.
Tyler: 190 that and they're like no we didn't get stopped at all, and i'm like huh interesting.
Marty: They should be arrested for ratting themselves out they're going 190.
Coley: 190 is insane. And these 2 look like dickheads. 
Tyler: Absolutely, listen you don't-
Marty: *rudely interrupts* Oh Of course they do. *disgusted*
Tyler: -come up with an idea like this in your head without being a dickhead.
Marty: No.
Coley: They averaged 103 the whole way
Tyler: That's absurd yeah so the other guy was like they averaged 98 and it's pretty much unbeatable and these guys were like PFFFT we could shatter that! 
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: 27 hour and 25 minutes is pretty, from New York to LA in just a day...is insane.
Tyler: Yeah! Lis- like, airport to air-, like from the time you woke up in the morning to get to the airport like 2 hours early in New York to the time you get to LA, get an Uber to your place...that's what like 9 or 10 ho-, like they're in Kansas by then they'll meet you there by morning.
Coley: I was gonna say it's like 8, yeah it's like 8 hours door to door.
Tyler: Yeah, full day of work and they're just like nope! we're in Pennsylvania we'll see you, no we'll be there tomorrow for breakfast don't worry bout that.
Coley: Listen most of that trip is Pennsylvania, that state just keeps going.
Tyler: That's wha- i'm-, I can't even imagine, I would be still in the state of New York and like guys this is a bad idea.
Coley: Yeah I m-, this whole thing gets completely thwarted with the smallest bit of traffic. 
Tyler: Yeah.
Marty: 1 *holds up 1 finger* construction *shakes head*
Coley: An accident! *shrugs in disbelief* 
Tyler: Yeah like if you're just cooking it's like dude we were making like record time but we got to uh Ohio and hit a stoplight-
Coley: *Laughs*
Tyler: But if yo-, like what do you do, do you just stop and turn around? You're not gonna break the record so what the uh?
Marty: No you text the boys, boys almost had it that was it-
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah. *laughs*
Coley: So close.
Tyler: Yeah you ditch the AMG and sleep, and fly back first class to New York...we'll try it again tomorrow like- 
Marty: *crazy eyes* Can you fuckin' believe Jimmy almost had it he got to Ohio *laughs*
Tyler: Yeah. You make it to Kansas or somethin' and ah- yeah just goes to one lane for a while.
Coley: Yeah what's like the, is it, cause there can't be like a finish line so is it like you can see LA? Like what's, where in LA is the ending.
Tyler: Yeah I-, like LA county line's or somethin' yeah you'd have to-
Coley: I was gonna say is it like ocean to ocean? 
Tyler: I don't even, 27 hours is chaos dude. 
Coley:*pondering life's deepest thoughts.*
Marty: Cause like New York to Florida's like 24 hours right or-
Coley: Yeah!*nods*
Marty: Out of a pandemic
Tyler: But listen, these guys are doin that in 30 minutes.
Coley: *shakes head*
Marty:*laughs* 
Coley: Pizza's not even cold when it gets there.
Tyler: I was t-, they were-, yeah they were aided by a network of spotters driving ahead of them and reporting road conditions as well as the placement of police speed traps.
Coley:*throws hand up in disbelief*
Tyler: This is-, this is cheating.
Marty: Yeah.
Tyler: Yeah, this is, this is ay I don't hold this record at all.
Coley: No. *shakes head* no, i'm furious these people exist.*disgusted*
*silence*
Marty: Me too!
Coley: 190 is absurd, and it's roads you don't even like know. *stares blankly*
Tyler: That's what i'm sa-, yeah one nin- *bites lip* 
Marty: That is true, that's a big, that's a big like you have to look at the map a lot like-
Coley: Yeah. 
Marty: Maps like-, you can't be doin' that.
Tyler: Yeah 98's-, yeah 190? that's recklessly dangerous-
Coley: Definitely.
Tyler: You should, yeah you should go to jail immediately but-
Marty: Do you think they're driving by themselves?
Tyler: That's what it s-, like they have a whole network. They got people drivin' ahead of them,  they got-, so people are like i'm guessin' okay yea traffic comin' up in Kansas take the Nebraska way *sways shoulders* 
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: So the people are like their Waze?
Tyler: *laughs* yeah
Coley: No cause they use Waze too! 
Tyler: Oh yeah I feel like, probably Waze in the car and then yeah they're-...In a souped up Mercedes...So it's not even like, yeah I don't hold this record valid at all. 
Marty: Nah it's bullshit. 
Coley: *yawns* where do you think would be the worst stretch to do at night? 
Marty: The uh the-
Tyler: I feel like the plains I feel like when you-
Coley: Right
Tyler: -'re just driving through like flat Iowa like all that and you're like oh my god. 
Marty: *laughs*
Tyler: I haven't seen a building or human in like 12-, I only see Trent holding up gas station pizza. 
Marty: *laughs*
Tyler: And we got another 12 hours *laughs* 
Marty: Ah shit *rubs eyes*
Coley: When I was in college I did Amherst to, to Clemson and I left at night and Pennsylvania was just dark and flat. 
Marty: Bro Pennsylvania's horrible.
Coley: Horrible! 
Tyler: *shakes head*
Marty: It's so bad.
Coley: It's our biggest state, like by far *shakes head*, there's no bigger state than Pennsylvania.
Marty: I'm with ya, I really am with ya. It, it just doesn't end. 
Coley: Never. *shakes head* 
Marty: The u-, so I drove from New York to Kentucky once and Cincinnati was depressing. It was just-
Coley: *bursts out in laughter*
Tyler: Oh yeah, listen Cincinnati, Cincinnati's pretty gr-, Ohio as a state is pretty grim...I fuck with it but it yeah, it's a grim state.
Marty: There's just no uplifting things y'know.
Tyler: Why did you drive to Kentucky? 
Marty: A wedding it was terrible.
Tyler: Oh god and how long did it take you? How many hours? 
Marty: That was like 16 I think. 
Coley:*sticks out tongue in digust*
Tyler: Pathetic. Those guy's woulda been in Oregon.
Marty: We had ta-, they coulda went home for lunch. 
Tyler: Yeah doubled back *laughs* 
Coley: Who was that person who drove from what was it, Alaska to Mississippi? 
Tyler: Oh yeah for some uh uh Twitter pussy?
Coley: Some sex, yeah. *laughs*
Tyler:*laughs* I bet he would kno-, they probably did it in quicker than 27, if you're drivin' for like some new sex? *tilts head back and forth* 12 hours flat, Alaska to M-, Juneau to uh Tupolo.
Marty:*shy confused laugh*
Coley: *hearty chuckles* 
Tyler: 12 hours straight! He's like I was doin' 287 miles an hour.
Coley:*laughing* 
Tyler: *laughing* I got pulled over once, I told the cop where I was goin' and he uh he gave me an escort. 
Coley: Turned the lights on yeah. 
Tyler: Let's roll *points finger* yeah! *laughs*
Coley: That way you said? *points finger* alright uhh-
Tyler: Yeah no follow me! 
Coley:*laughs* Ohhh man, I feel like we don't get classic Twitter stories like that, obviously not during quarantine but that, that was, it wasn't even that classic at the time it was like yeah this, we'll talk about this for a few hours of course but this- 
Tyler: Until something else does something, yeah we ain't ha-
Marty: Bro that's what I don't get, how we have news to talk about every day I don't get how it's even besides sports and trade? How is there other new-, there shouldn't be any news! 
Coley: No.
Tyler: I gotta say i'm getting to a point where i'm used to just not having sports. And I think when they come back it's gonna be weird, like i'm not-, i've never been used to like nothing, like even when i'm not watching may baseball but it's on. I'm aware of it, just nothing *shakes head*
Coley: Right.
Marty: Yeah.
Tyler: And when it comes back imma be like this is weird I don't like this, I don't like it.
Marty: You're lying if you like aren't like saying that you're getting used to no sports cause it's almost like you kinda forget what sports are even like, like I watched the Michael Jordan...I was like that almost looks like a different world to me right now. 
Tyler:*laughs* that guy's jumping really high, yeah
Coley We're-, we're in a parallel universe to what we're accustomed to. and we just got sucked into a black hole and this is wh-, where we're at now. 
Marty: Yeah. 
Tyler: *nods*
Coley: Because l- like the other thing too is like I think I realized it more just because i've been doing social media for so long that it just became my life to be like oh what's on tonight. Oh it's-, these are the important games.
Tyler: Right.
Coley: There are these ones I should like keep a close eye on.
Tyler: Right.
Coley: And just having them taken away like that *snaps fingers* was, like it freed me up like I don't know what to do.
Marty: That's a-
Tyler: Like for a while I was scrollin' through I was like ah man it'd be the first round of the playoffs. Ah man the Lakers would be playin' the Clippers tonight. And now i'm just like AEhh *shrugs* if they start the season back they start it back if they don't I don't ag- what can ya do! You know
Marty: *laughs* That true
Tyler: Yeah, eh *shrugs again* they'll start it in a bubble they'll start it in Arizona, I mean mmm *shrug* 
*silence*
Coley: It's weird, and what's gonna be really weird and I a-, I hope they don't go full 9/11 but it's gonna be all they talk about.
Tyler: *nervously* I hope they don't either, yea.
Coley: It's gonna be all they talk about, for like-
Marty: Years.
Coley: When's like the first game they stop talking about it?
Tyler: Dude I read a article, I d-, I don't know if y'all saw like the uh Nets want Bradley Beal or are tryna chase Bradley Beal away or whatever-
Coley: Oh yeah.
Tyler: And the last line of the article was like however we don't know how many stars want to come to New York with the pandemic now. And I was like DAMMIT! *slams hand on table* We almost made it through the whole article.
Coley: *laughs*
Marty: Yup. Yea.
Tyler: I was focused on Bradley Bea-, like I was focused on basketball stuff. Focused on the trade does the money work and he's like actually!*holds 1 finger up* *laughs*
Marty: There's not one thing that doesn't start with a "these trying times" or during these times-
Coley: Uncertain times.
Marty: It's like whatev-, it has nothing to do with it, like we're literally talking about like cookin' french toast but during these times watch out when you cook the eggs!
Tyler: Right li- *laughs* too much butter in these trying times Mush? 
Marty: Crazy shit *throws up hands* 
Tyler: That's wh-, I yeah it's gonna be like, I legit think like 2022 before we get it just not mentioned at all.
Marty: Yup, I I believe that.
Tyler: Like I think we have to have a like a full, what-, we're gonna need like at least one sport to do a complete full cycle. As normal. Like basketball's been thrown off, baseball's been thrown off..like we'll see if football's affected but if football has a regular-, and that's the thing they're not going to so that one-....that's why I don't now like when it'll be.
Coley: No.
Tyler: We're gonna need a whole college season, a whole somethin' and I don't know when we get that. 
*silence*
Coley: *shakes head*
Tyler: I kinda hope it never comes back.
Coley: The first game- 
Marty: Don't say that.*turns away in disgust*
Coley: Is gonna be like we beat-
Tyler: *laughs at Mush*
Coley: It's gonna be like we won a war.
Tyler: We've been saven-, oh yeah.
Marty: Don't say that. *shakes head* 
Tyler: Mush tell me-
Coley: I just keep every day I think about Joe Buck being just talking about, showing pictures of people in hospitals and the sad FOX pianos playing- 
Marty: Yup. 
Coley: And it's just like-
Tyler:*hums NFL draft song thinking it's FOX music*
Coley: Like i'm picturing a giant flag over the entire stadium not even just the field anymore they've s-
Tyler:*laughing and nodding*
Coley: sewn all the giant flags together to make a superflag! 
Marty: You know how many doctors are gonna throw out the first pitch? 
Coley and Tyler: *crack up laughing*
Tyler: *laughing* you're 100 percent correct, first responders uh *dying laughing*
Coley:*slaps knee laughing* 
Tyler: *PA voice* please put your attention towards the pitchers mound. From John Hopkins *crowd cheering and clapping* ahhhh yeah. 162 games, that's how long we're gonna get uh AHHH MVP MVP. Some are saying these first responder are the real MVP! That's exactly right Jim! No that's a good call Mush it's only gonna be that
Marty: God dammit
Tyler: And the guy that comes up with a vaccine is gonna be a celebrity.
Marty: Yeah
Coley: I'm fine with that.
Tyler: No, once I realized that the guy that stopped the Waffle House shooting played in a celebrity all star game...I was like that's a celebrity? Vaccine dude he-, Mr. Bitches or Mrs. Bitches or Mrs. Bitches.
Coley: Yeah uhh, um uh any, whoever wants to do it big fan!
Tyler: Yeah
Coley: I don't care what else you've done previously in this world...you could've been terrible...you come up with a cure to this? I'm on your team. 
Tyler: uhh i aehh...R Kelly's like guys!
Coley: Yeah!
Tyler: *laughs* i've been workin'! 
Marty:*laughs* I've been workin'
Coley: Yeah Cosby's like you know I was i was trapped in Rikers you see and came uhh, stumbled upon.
Tyler: Yeah. *laughing*
Marty: And just become president right after.
Coley: Yeah! I'm just like this is *shakes head*
Tyler: N- uh- oh boy that pff, *sighs* listen, say what you want about Harvey Weinstein's politics but the man knows his vaccines!
Marty: *laughs* knows- 
Coley: The man know's vaccinations, yeah *laughs*
Tyler: That'll do it.
Coley: Yeah no I just wanna be able to like, like I just wanted to go to a bookstore the other day *throws hand up* couldn't do that.
Marty: *disgusted* What a fuckin' loser you are *laughs* 
Tyler: *erupts in laughter*
Coley: *throws hand up, smiles*
Marty: Are you kidding me? That's what you bring up? You wanted-, you wanted to go to a bookstore? *laughs*
Tyler: *still laughing*
Coley: No it was just some so small like that like it shouldn't even be closed now. 
Marty: Yeah get a fuckin' Ice cream cone dude not a book *laughs*
Coley: Well those are open fuckface!
Tyler: Yeah, *still laughing* get this nerd Mush! *goes back to dying of laughter*
Coley: *in disbelief* 
Tyler and Marty: *laughing belly loads*
Tyler: Mush I was trying to go to the homework shop the other day! uh 
Coley, Marty and Tyler: *laughing deeply*
Marty: My damn tutor won't do anything for me.
Coley: *laughing* 
Tyler: *laughing* Mush ain't like that one bit *laughing still*
Coley: *Scoffs* No, no n-, listen it's a guy who knows 1,400 words
Marty:*laughing at being called stupid*
Tyler: Yeah *catching breathe* awh man.
Coley: And he's subtracting words left and right from the English language.
Marty:*laughing*
Tyler: Oh man *wipes tears from eyes*
Coley: Like the words he actually knows he's like thats not a word!
Marty: Nope throw 'em out!
Tyler: Yeah *shake's head*
Coley: If I know it, not a word *throw away hand motion* 
Tyler: Yeah he's down to about 650 now*laughing*
Coley: *laughing*
Marty: yeah *laughs*
Coley: Gorilla? They're not named they're out! *thrown out motion with hand* 
Tyler: Outta here yea *laughs*
Marty: Well you can't do that cause of uh what's his name-
Coley: Oh boy..
Marty: Harambe 
Tyler: So that's the, he-, Harambe made-
Coley: No! He was in a zoo and you were had the whole thing about the other ones, about Dolphins where they were captive!
Marty: Oh I forgot he was in the zoo..that's true
Tyler: *tilts head smiling* 
*silence*
Marty: Forgot!*laughs*
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: Poked a hole in your own theory Mush.
Marty: *laughs*
Coley: He thought Harambe was just uuhh a man about town!
Tyler: Just out and about man, yea I thought it was uhh a wrong place wrong time...zoo's what was like, I don't know when do zoo's open up?
Coley: *shakes head*
Tyler: I don't know if you'll ever open a library again, think about how-
Coley: Oh Mr. Books all the sudden wants to talk libraries!
Tyler: I wa-
Marty: Yeah why you want libraries dude *smiling*
Tyler: I knew geekhead was thinkin' of it so i'm pandering to col-, nah *laughs* 
Marty: Bro isn't that crazy, you can't even just like to be like the pooper scooper at the zoo you need like 6 degrees.
Coley: *nods* yeah 
Marty: Like you can't just like go to a zoo and ask for a job it's nuts.
Coley: It was like a month and a half ago-, yeah it's to keep people like you out of *laughs* out of the Gorilla pen but-.
Tyler: *laughs* yeah.
Coley: The, like a month and a half ago zoos were like we might have to start feedin' the animals to the other animals and i've heard like no updates on that so I think they just went ahead and did that!
Marty: That's c- *laughs*
Tyler: Last I heard on zoo's they were like, we found multiple species that caught this shit-
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: And I was like oh no *shakes head*...and that was the last I heard, which is usually a BAAAD sign.
Coley: A terrible sign.
Marty: A bad sign.
Tyler: Because if they fixed it they would be first to tell you, be like hey, this zoo Cincinnatti Zoo or whatever? COVID free. I ain't heard shit! 
Marty: *anxious laugh*
Coley: No. *shakes head*
Tyler: Leo the Lion got it, everybod-, Daisy the Cow...why are cows not at the zoo Mush you ever think about that? They're animals.
Marty: I think about that probably once a week it's a-
Tyler: I know you do *nods and laughs*
Marty: I think I honestly think it's just because people are gonna wanna pay quarters to milk them. 
Tyler: Ahh. *nods* yeah if you see like a cow, somebody's gonna climb that, probably you Mush...no disrespect to try to milk that cow.
Coley: *laughing*
Marty: Or tip 'em! 
Tyler: Ahw yea..
Coley: You can not tip a cow.
Marty: I have drove many hours to try and do it, couldn't find 'em. 
Tyler: But you just said you're getting weaker Mush I don't think you could...you think you could push over a cow? Only you right now? I don't think y-
Coley: Cow in 4 *dead serious face*
Tyler: Yeah C- *breaks out laughing* i'll see, how much does a cow weigh? 
Coley: Pfff
Tyler: How much you think a cow weighs Mush? Mush is like 150!
Coley and Marty: *big laughs* 
Marty: Uhh.
Coley: *mocking* 230 240
Tyler: I'll tell ya-
Marty: 2,200.
Tyler: Mick you gotta guess?
Coley: I was gonna say like 1,100.
Tyler: A female adult cow weighs 1,600 pounds
Coley: Okay *nods*
Tyler: A male adult, a bull...weighs 2,400 pounds. You th-
Marty: *Points at himself* pretty good!
Tyler: Great guess but you think you can push 2,200 pounds over Mush?
Coley:*scoffs* No *shakes head*
Marty: I honestly think I could push a car by myself. 
Tyler:*trying very hard not to burst out in laughter*
Coley: In neutral or park?
Marty: *raises eyebrows* park! 
Coley: No. 
Marty: Definitely neutral. 
Coley: *shakes head* *laughs*
Tyler: Y- I want-, Yeah I want it in reverse... it's in reverse and you're pushin' it uh the opposite way. Show me your real strength *nods* 
Marty: I think I might try it! 
Tyler: *concerned* please don't try that Mush.
Marty: *laughs* 
Tyler: You'd die immediately....what if you pushed it, it wobbled and then it fell on you Mush! 2,400 pounds, you'd go through the Earth's crust!
Marty: *raises brow* That's true.
Tyler: It'd cut you in half! 
Marty: That's very true. 
Tyler: You ever dropped like the remote on your foot?-
Marty: Oh I hate that *shakes head* 
Tyler: Imagine like 2,400 pounds *laughs*
Marty: I don't know why, that's so weird you brought that up...that happened to me the other day. Why does that hurt so bad?
Tyler: I *shakes head* James Harden drops a bottled water or somethin'-
Marty: and It's just bone, it freakin'-
Tyler: He's out for the season. 
Marty: *shakes head* it's crazy...fellas, I don't know I gotta shit so bad.
Coley: Marty before you leave there are 170,000 words in the English language.
Marty:*stunned* wow really?
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: Lotta words! *tilts head* 
Marty: We were-, Tyler before you got here we were arguing if there was 10,000.
Tyler:*busts out laughing*
Coley: I was not, I said there was over 10,000.
Marty: I said *laughs*
Tyler: Under! *laughs*
Coley: Yeah. *hearty belly laugh*
Tyler: Hammer the under!
Coley: It was not an argument, I was like no, no think of how big a dictionary-
Tyler: *laughing hysterically*
Coley: -is, they're over 10,000. *laughing*
Marty: Oh there's always an argument when I think i'm right! *laughs* 
Tyler: Is that only english or every language ever?
Coley: Just english, I asked that too.
Tyler: There's gotta be like a million words total.
Marty: 170,000 words that's so s-, that's a *shakes head* I ain't...i'm not goin to the hall of fame with that average of a hund- or 1,000 words-
Coley:*to the rescue, Mush's brain is scrambled eggs* 1,400? Yeah no.
Tyler: Last question Mush, with all the languages in the world. How many words you think there are in the world? Every language ever? 
Marty: Every language ever? 
Tyler: English is, what'd you say 170,000? 
Coley:*yawns* yeah!
Tyler: And english stinks!
Marty: I can tell y-, I can tell ya this Chi- China has definitely the least amount of words.
Tyler: I feel like they got it figured out *nods*
Coley: *nods*
Marty: Because they're more I think  they're more efficient with their words than we are.
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: 100%, i'll say English stinks.
Marty: And when they like write a sentence they'll say so many things but it's only like three little words *holds up 1 1/2 inches with fingers*
Tyler: Yeah, right. Cause they translating for our stupid asses cause english has way too many words and shit that doesn't make sense.
Coley: That's why I don't think it's like that man-, I think it's like 300,000 
Marty: *eyes wide* All countries? 
Coley: Cause it's like most've the other, are you saying like the translation it counts as two? Or is that still one? 
Tyler: No, no. Yeah like whatever's in Mandarin is Mandarin doesn't matter what it is he-
Coley: Yeah so, that's why I don't think it's that many because we have to use so many over here. 
Marty: Do they have different words than us? 
Coley: Sometimes *slight shrug* 
Marty: *rolls eyes* That's nuts. *shakes head*
Tyler: *researching* How many words are there in the world? Let's see! 
Coley: I can't im-, there can't possibly be an answer to that *laughs* 
Marty: *laughs* yeah
Tyler: Yeah but someone searched it before!
Coley: Oh for sure *nods*
Tyler: Let's see...yeah I just keep getting uh-
Coley: A ton dude!
Tyler: Yeah this says *laughs* says 170,000 words in current use, 47,000 obsolete words. 
Marty: *not buyin' it*
Coley: Wha- just-
Tyler: I think i'm more interested by the obsolete words!
Coley: That's Mush just takin' em out 1 by 1.
Tyler: *laughing* Dolphin's outta here, pool? Outta here.
Coley: *mimes throwing away word as an MLB Umpire*
Marty: Yeah it just comes up, Dolphin has just been deleted from a word.
Coley and Tyler: *cracking up* 
Coley: Uh someone hat in hand, we're sad to announce...Dolphin.
Marty and Tyler: *laughing* 
Tyler: A, and and the...gone! Says president Mush.
Coley and Marty: *laughing* 
Marty: Alright i'm goin to shat, love you guys.
Coley: See ya Martin.
Tyler: Have a good shit Mush.
Marty: Night boys *exits call*
*silence*
Coley: Oh boy. *throws hands up* went better than I expected.
Tyler: Yeah! Him needin' to shit came up a lot later than I figured, it usually makes it's way in early.
Coley: *shakes head* he usually doesn't shit from what he's told us in the past. 
Tyler: He's gonna be like "guys I shit for the first time the other day, you guys ever? You ever hear about this?"
Coley: *laughs* You ever drop a steamer?
Tyler: Yeah you guys spell any bowels? You eve-, you guys ever?
Coley: *laughs*
Tyler: No Mush never! Not once *shakes head* 
Coley: Uhhhmm so it's Memorial day uh Monday so it's about half way through the year.. So maybe we'll do a fr- *almost laughs* we'll look back at the first half of the year *laughing* next week! What a year it's been. One of my favorite 31 years for sure. 
Tyler: Guys send us in your favorite moments of the year so far! Like there's too many for us to think of so send us in some of your, some of your favorite moments so far this year.
Coley: Yeah *looks around* yeah. Can't wait to recap just a *exhale* phhhh action packed is the word I think we'd all uh use to describe this year. 
Tyler: *looking around* yeah uh, I think it's safe to say that we're all uh eager to see what the rest of 2020 has for us!
Coley: MMMmm Mhm. 
Tyler: Why wouldn't you wanna see the rest of the worst movie you've ever seen. Like it can't get worse! Right like this *laughs* no way this shitty movie can't get worst. 
Coley: 3 hours left! Oh boy.
Tyler: Yeah *buries head* ah, oh boooy.  Then like the main character, the one character you like just disappears...well like what the hell why am I even still watching now, like wh- *laughs* I don't like this!
Coley: None of the other characters even mention why he left either.
Tyler: the- *shaking head* they change his name, everything i'm like this is sick...this is gonna win an Oscar.
*silence* 
Coley: All the-, all the media about this like all the movies...all the stand up comedians with their-
Tyler: *nods in agreement*
Coley: little ch-, quips about Corona...i'm not looking forward to any of it! none of it. 
Tyler:*shakes head* somebody was already, I can't remember who...was it michael bay I don't know...somebodies wanting to do a movie where it's like 2 years in the future, we're still in this pandemic lifestyle...-
Coley: Sick.
Tyler : -i'm like I don't wanna see, like wha- *laughs* *throws hands up looking around*
Coley: *hearty chuckles* 
Tyler: Awesome I wo-, *looks left blankly* you know what movie I'd really like to see where all of us are, yeah you're just in your house and your house just collapses under you!
Coley:*laughing*
Tyler: Wouldn't y-, wouldn't ya like to watch that on the big screen? Could happen to any of us you know! like *shakes head in disbelief*
Coley:*laughs* yeah sinkholes! they're out there!
Tyler: yeah so it was like no, *laughs* in a can't even say post-pandemic...in a current mid-pandemic world!
Coley: Yeah.
Tyler: It's just 2022 and we're still inside i'm like gr- yeah green light it *nods* you need money to make the mo-, the movie? I'll donate.
Coley: That's why I think we are just gonna *shakes head* we are just gonna be like you know what! we're done with this, it's gonna kill who it kills and we'll just move on. 
Tyler: *nods slightly* It's pretty much been uh Georgia's theme about it.
Coley: Uh huh *nods, scratching chin* uh Texas, Florida.
Tyler: Yeah, the biggest state like none *laughs* Rhode Island's probably like-
Coley:*huddles into himself*
Tyler: -the state with no people they're fine yeah
Coley: oh yeah! 
Tyler: New York City's like I need Starbucks!
Coley:*laugh, inhale* dear lord, well *yawns* see ya guys next week *show dancer arm swing!* 
Tyler: See ya! Send in your great moments!
Coley: *laughing* 

[The End]

If you got this far 1) you're a psychopath, but 2) I appreciate ya pal. Share with Coley, Tyler, Mush and any other Barstool employee you'd like. I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm on Twitter far too much @BKSTUSSY, follow if you feel.  Stay safe out there