Jeff Bezos Is Still Bald

Imagine that? Imagine having a TRILLION dollars and still deciding to rock the cue ball? It's no wonder his wife scurried out of there the second she could, and decided to buy the Knicks in cash. What a day that was. 

There are those that may be asking, why does a man with unlimited money continue to let himself look like Voldemort? 

I've heard rumblings that Jeffy B has an extremely thin skull and is scared to death at the thought of getting hairplugs. Don't shoot the messenger I just report the news. 

Perhaps Mr. B's hairline worked inversely to Pinnochio's nose, and every time he "accidentally" broke labor laws, he came closer and closer to Breshad Perriman...until eventually there was nothing but a reflection of the sun beaming, blinding all in sight.

How many different collagen products do we think Mrs. MacKenzie tried getting him to experiment with before she decided she was done with his shit? You've got a better chance of getting me eating my Flintstones in '92. 

No matter how poor you are, at least you have hair. Bezos wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror and feels nothing but shame. As do I, but that's besides the point...you my good fellow have a full getup of robust locks. Guess what? Amazon Boy doesn't.

But maybe, just maybe...Bezos has always wanted to be like Dickie V when he grows up.