PARDON MY TAKE TRANSCRIPTION 2: Esports Legend NickMercs, Tennessee Wins The Natty And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Big Cat: On today's Pardon My Take, we have a huge huge interview. The #1 Twitch streamer ever, is that true? Ever? 
PFT: Ehh, our favorite Twitch streamer of all time.
Big Cat: Our favorite Twitch streamer, NickMercs, who it's his first podcast he's ever done. If you don't know who he is, give it a listen because he explains the Twitch universe, being a professional video game player and he's just a fucking cool ass dude. So awesome interview coming up with NickMercs, we have Fyre Fest of the week, we have Tennessee National Championship, we have 3 Identical Strangers documentary review. A packed Friday show for you and it's all brought to you by CashApp. CashApp is the best, CashApp gave away $10,000, $10,000 in the Pardon My Take Twitch chat tonight, $10,000 they gave away, that is how great they are. They're giving away free money all the time on Twitch, they are the #1 social distancing app, they're the #1 app in the world. I can't stop telling you how great CashApp is, just effusive praise, praise on praise on praise. I love the CashApp, if you love us, you should love the CashApp. The CashApp could solve all the worlds problems just by being the CashApp so download it right now and of course when you download it, you get $10 for free, $10 for free with code BARSTOOL. Use those $10, subscribe for 2 months, on the Pardon My Take Twitch, talk shit to us while we build desks, while we play video games, where we do all kinds of shit. We actually also have a little something coming up soon, we're gonna do some movie nights, so big things comin' on the Pardon My Take Twitch. So do it right now, download the CashApp, $10 to you, $10 to ASPCA when you put in code BARSTOOL. Download it in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Okay let's go!

[Intro Music]

Oy! *Motorcycle revs* Oy! *motorcycle revs* Down in the streets there is violence, and a lots of work to be done, No place to hang out our washing and I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher. Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher. It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports!

Big Cat: Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the CashApp. Go download it right now, use code BARSTOOL, you get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Friyay, June 19th and the Tennessee Volunteers are National Champions. I'm losing my voice because I smoked a cigar and I should never smoke a cigar. 
PFT: The haters say that it couldn't be done.
Big Cat: Unbelievable. 

PFT: The haters said "why are you going to the SEC?"
Big Cat: Look at Hank when you say that.

PFT: The haters said that your thumbs weren't fast enough tonight. 
Hank: I'm happy for you.
Big Cat: PFT and Billy, thank you so much, you guys were integral parts of my coaching staff. PFT you also kicked your heart out.

PFT: I did, you know what a lot of people were saying was it was the wrong call to go for 2 when you were up by 7 points in the 2nd Quarter.
Big Cat: *laughing*

PFT: As a player, you love to see that out of a coach.
Big Cat: Step on their necks.

PFT: Yeah, I like that because it showed me that you wanted to win the game and that you accurately knew that I was gonna melt in a big moment.
Big Cat: It was 6 years coming, 6 years of playing the game. Not 6 actual years but 6 years in dynasty mode, started in Toledo, Florida State, USC, Texas Tech, Tennessee. It's been a hell of a run, and finally climbed the mountain, 156,000 people were watching us tonight on the Pardon My Take Twitch channel.
PFT: That's more people than can fit in Tennessee Stadium right?
Big Cat: Yeah. That's more people than can fit in like any stadium.

PFT: Yeah.
Big Cat: Maybe there's like one of those soccer stadiums

PFT: Stadio Azteca?
Big Cat: Yeah, the one that Landon Donovan pissed on.

PFT: In Mexico City. Yeah the one that they built the chainlink fence around just to let fans climb onto it.
Big Cat: So it was fun, thank you everyone for tuning in. It's not over yet, i'm gonna keep going until sports come back because there's nothin' else going on.

PFT: Well Big Cat, as a member of the media, I feel obligated to ask you.
Big Cat: What?


PFT: Are you gonna be leaving Tennessee? Cause I feel like your agent is the happiest guy in town right now, he's probably getting offers thrown at him left and right. You're a Wisconsin Alum, a lot of people are saying that you'd leave right now to Wisconsin.
Big Cat: Mmm. I'm the coach of the Tennessee Volunteers until Sunday night. We shall see, I went to Tennessee and I said i'm gonna win a National Title, it took me 2 years, it took embarrassment last year but mission accomplished. So the question then comes, have I done everything I need to do at Tennessee? Can I move on? 
PFT: Well for the record, Peyton Manning National Championships at Tennessee, 0. Big Cat, 1.
Big Cat: Right, and also I beat Florida once.

PFT: There you go.
Big Cat: He never beat Florida. People forget, Peyton Manning never beat Florida.

PFT: I'm starting to fall in love w-
Big Cat: I don't wanna do this though, because Vol Nation is my people now. I actually am gonna start rooting for Tennessee in real life because their fans have been so fucking awesome. #FeelsLike98 was trending on Twitter, so I take back my Peyton Manning never beat Florida even though that's a fact.

PFT: But it's a fact, you can't take back a fact.
Big Cat: Well I took back a fact.

PFT: And i'm also starting to fall in love with the Tennessee orange. 
Big Cat: Yes!


PFT: I used to say that Tennessee orange looked better on a girl, and the burnt orange at Texas looked better on guys. Right now? The orange is poppin'.
Big Cat: And Rocky Top is an unbelievable song, just Rocky Top is a cool place to say. Like "yeah, let's go over to Rocky Top."



PFT: Hell yeah.
Big Cat: That's like an old lore, a dusty book that you open and you're like "Rocky Top!"



PFT: So how are you gonna celebrate? The thing is-
Big Cat: I smoked a cigar and I shouldn't of, because cigars stink. I don't understand cigar smokers. 



PFT: You don't inhale them, I inhale them because if i'm smoking something, I might as well do it. It's hard for me not to.
Big Cat: But every time I smoke a cigar, maybe, I think it's just an acquired taste. I think some people just love cigars and I just am not one of those people, but every time I smoke one i'm like "why did I just like the bottom of an ashtray?".



PFT: Yeah it's a weird thing to enjoy since you can't actually pull, it's like taking a spoonful of ice cream and not swallowing it.
Big Cat: Do you think it's because we've never smoked good cigars?



PFT: No i've smoked good cigars before-
Big Cat: I haven't.



PFT: -and they still stink. Good cigars are bad.
Big Cat: Oo, they're even worse?


PFT: I like bad cigars better. I like black and milds more than I like a nice Cuban.
Big Cat: Well they're sweet, yeah. But yeah, it was fun, it was a good time. How you feelin' Billy?
BILLY: I'm feelin' great. I just wanted to comment, I bought you the special Winston Churchill cigar, from the cigar shop.
Big Cat: Oh no, he's, no we don't. Dude come on. Winston Churchill's not, they covered up his statue, it's over.
BILLY: Oh fuck. 



PFT: He did have a great quote though, which you can steal.
BILLY: *utterly confused* What'd he do?
Big Cat: *laughing* What didn't he do Billy? 



PFT: The haters said that if Big Cat went to the SEC, he would get his neck run like a chicken. Some chicken, some neck. 
Big Cat: Yeah, boom! Got 'em. 



PFT: Goosebumps.
Big Cat: Try again.
BILLY: I'm just really happy to be here.
Big Cat: *laughs* Alright, cool. 




PFT: *laughs*
Big Cat: Hank #1 hater, Hank aka PoopyStinks.
Hank: I'm a glass half full guy, so i'm happy for you. Either you were gonna be happy or I was gonna be happy because you still wouldn't of had a National Championship and people were gonna be that much hungrier, so i'm happy for you.
Big Cat: Listen, the hunger will start anew somewhere else. Not saying i'm leaving Tennessee. 



PFT: Sounds like you got 1 foot out the door.
Big Cat: I'm not saying that.
Hank: Also you haven't won a National Championship by yourself, i'm just gonna say that. 
Big Cat: What? I have a fuckin' coaching staff, what coach has ever won a National Championship without a coaching staff?
Hank: I'm sure lots of Madden players, we're talking about video games here. I'm happy for you though, i'm happy for you. 
Big Cat: Doesn't really sound it.



PFT: Tonight was a coronation, not only of Big Cat as a coach but of Big Cat as a delegator.  
Big Cat: Yes!
Hank: I'm just saying there's room to grow there.
Big Cat: I was 2-2 and I was a mess, and I brought someone in to help me. I brought multiple people in to help me, and they did, they brought back Composure Cat.




PFT: You know what else tonight showed me? Is how big of assholes Major League Baseball is, how badly they fucked this up. To be fair, it was very entertaining to watch you play these video games, it's an awesome awesome event that people get around. But if there was any sort of baseball game going on, people would be tuning into that, it'd be the only game in town, that and Top Chef. 
Big Cat: Right! "When and where? When and where?" that's what they're saying, the baseball players. It's ridiculous that we're still doing this because I saw, I think it was Wednesday night or Tuesday night, Buster Olney was like "looks like there's a deal in place" and then the next day, they're like "nope, just kidding! It's still the same bullshit, that the owners don't wanna pay anyone until there's 50 games". Credit to the players, they're geniuses, the players have played this so perfectly because the "When and where?" tag that they all were tweeting just puts it all on the owners. Like they're ready, they're ready to play, you can not blame them. I think the only one who's blaming them is Mad Dog Russo and that's it. 


PFT: Well you have to have somebody on the contrarian side.
Big Cat: I think he said his job is harder than Trevor Bauers? I can't remember, he had an all time rant. 



PFT: Yes! I actually agree with that take.
Big Cat: Getting there! *realizes what PFT said* ehh.  



PFT: Getting on the air and talking about baseball when there's no baseball, is harder than playing baseball. 
Big Cat: That's true but being a Major League Baseball pitcher is pretty damn hard.  



PFT: It's not easy to do, but there was a takequake out there. I wish I had it in front of me but there was a writer who suggested that they bring George W. Bush back to be the commissioner of baseball. Which I think, should of been his job from the get go, he should of never gotten into politics. He would of dominated being the commissioner of baseball, there'd of been no fucking tie in a All Star game, there'd of been no lockout if George W. Bush was commissioner. Now that people are going to that, I say just let Bob Costas put his money where his mouth is, and become commissioner of baseball.
Big Cat: I love that, I love that. Just save baseball, Bob Costas and George will, together.



PFT: Yeah, Co-Commissioners.
Big Cat: Yes, Co-Commissioners. So baseball's still doing their thing. EPL is back, I watched some EPL this week. Horse-racing is back, i've been watching, i've been basically betting Ponies every single day. So that's what we got for sports and Fauci is back, the boogeyman in the closet, which i'm not saying he's wrong because I actually do think that we're kind of screwed but I also would wish-. You know what we need? We need the sensitive material warning you have on Instagram, when Fauci says there's not gonna be football, there needs to be a sensitive material warning so I don't have to read those words.



PFT: Yeah it's spooky to hear.
Big Cat: Right.




PFT: And the US has kind of shifted into fuck it mode recently.
Big Cat: Yeah *laughs*. We're full send. 


PFT: Which is just, we've been abiding by these rules for a couple months now and so a lot of people are just, myself included, i'm not washing my hands as much as I used to, hand up on that one, I probably should be.
Big Cat: I'm touching my mustache right now. 



PFT: We do need to take a step back because I think the University of Texas had like 13 football players test positive.
Big Cat: See, sensitive warning material don't do that, I didn't opt in.



PFT: Yeah but in classic offseason on the field news, you can set your watch to this one, Jamal Adams is upset with his contract.
Big Cat: What is it a day that ends in Y? Ba dum tsk!



PFT: Yeah.
Big Cat: Yeah, maybe they should just figure out a way...They're the crazy couple that's like "okay guys", every time you go to a bar it ends in a fight. We need to sit down and let's just decide to split up. 



PFT: Oh yeah, it's a relationship that's lasted probably 2 years too long at this point 
Big Cat: Right. 



PFT: He just needs to find a new team, he's schrödingers defensive back because he's a Jet but not a Jet and he's been like that for the last couple years. The thing is, he's awesome, I actually liked his list of acceptable teams that he'd go to. It was the classic Pete Prisco, here are the teams that made the postseason last year and i'm gonna add one extra in, those are my teams that i'd consider playing for 
Big Cat: Right, right so this is sports, this what we got, video games and not much else.




PFT: Video games and Jamal Adams not playing.
Big Cat: And soccer!


PFT: Yup
Big Cat: This is actually now that I think about it, we're being tortured, soccer is the only sport. How did that happen!? And I don't hate soccer.
Hank: Golf!



PFT: Golf's back.
Big Cat: Oh yeah, golf. Are they golfing today? Do they golf today? 
Hank: I don't know.
BILLY: It's purgatory. 



PFT: Wait, is it, "did they go golfing" or "did they play golf today", there's a difference. 
Big Cat: Ooo.
Hank: I think next week is a major.
Big Cat: Nooo! No chance. If next week's a major i'm pumped.



PFT: No. It's not the Masters, it's not the US Open 
Big Cat: Not the US Open.



PFT: It's not the Australian Open.
Big Cat: It's not the British Open. It's not the French Open.
Hank: Alright it's not a major but it's a big one.




PFT: It's not Wimbledon 
Big Cat: What is it? The Buick 5000? 


PFT: What's that one tournament that Arnold Palmer played for the last time?
Big Cat: The John Deere Open Invitational? What's goin' on?



PFT: Waste Management.  
Big Cat: Yeah, Waste Management's a cool one but yeah. The Continental, the Marriott Hotel?
Hank: Travelers. That is a big one.



PFT: Oh, the Travelers, there we go. 
Hank: That is a big one!
Big Cat: That is a big one.
Hank: It's not a major but it's big. 



PFT: You're thinking of the NBA playoffs when you say that.
Hank: Alright. 
Big Cat: By the way, by the way, the big big news that we totally forgot to do, and we'll get to Fyre Fest in a second and NickMercs, which is an awesome interview you should listen to. The big big news is we have officially a bowl game for mayonnaise. 



PFT: Yeah, Duke's Mayo Bowl.
Big Cat: Did you see the Mayo Bowl? Duke's Mayo Bowl, formerly the Belk Bowl, now the Duke's Mayo Bowl. I'm so excited, we should do a live watch party for this bowl game and see how many bottles of mayonnaise Billy can eat.



PFT: You know what? As a mayo boy, as a self admitted mayo boy, i'm gonna put my hand up-.
Big Cat: I love mayo.




PFT: Yeah, i'm gonna say that Luke Keuchly caught a lot of undeserved flak for his tomato sandwich. 
Big Cat: Mhmm.


PFT: A good tomato sandwich in the summertime with salt and pepper and some mayonnaise?
Big Cat: Maybe put some bacon on that though, put a little bacon on that.



PFT: Mm, mm, I don't know.
Big Cat: I don't understand eating a sandwich that doesn't have meat in it, i've never gotten that. 



PFT: Mayo's gotten such a bad rap, but it's a Beefsteak Tomato. 
Big Cat: That's like when they give you a fucking roasted carrot at one of those farm to table restaurants, which i'm still mad at that I went to like 4 years ago. If you are eating a meal, there has to be meat. 



PFT: Billy?
BILLY: Hey guys, I would love to eat stuff on camera for you guys, but there's too much soy in mayo. 
Big Cat: Oh you don't wanna be a soyboy?
BILLY: No, i'm not eating mayo, there's too much soy in it. 
Big Cat: You don't wanna be a soyboy?
BILLY: No, I don't wanna be a soyboy.
Big Cat: Well your thoughts on Winston Churchill show that you're not a soyboy.
BILLY: *under breath* nice.
Big Cat: *laughs* Alright, I just think you need to have meat, if you're eating a meal there has to be meat. Every now and then maybe a little what do they call it, cereal? *laughing*


PFT: Yeah, I was gonna say, breakfast you can get by with some Lucky Charms.
Big Cat: *laughs* But still, breakfast is better with a couple sausage links.



PFT: But, i'm also gonna say with breakfast cereal you need a meat replacement, whether that's marshmallows, I consider marshmallows to be a meat equivalent when it's in a cereal bowl.
Big Cat: I'm tryna think of what meal I would eat without meat. Like maybe a pasta dish?



PFT: Oh yeah, Cacio Pepe pasta. Mac & cheese!
Big Cat: But it still would be better with meat!



PFT: Mac & cheese I think is better without meat.
Big Cat: Yeah. Unless it's like a little bacon
BILLY: Unless its some good sausage.



PFT: Sausage crumbles in there.
BILLY: Chorizo.
Big Cat: Every single meal, is better with meat. I can't think, what meal would you eat? There's gotta be something right?
BILLY and Hank: *in unison* Ice cream.
Big Cat: Well that's not a meal 




PFT: Dessert.
Big Cat: I make it a meal on Saturdays. 


PFT: Has anybody every made dessert meat? 
Hank: Donuts?
Big Cat: Donuts, I eat donuts on Saturday too. I now have people saying like "it's 7 AM, do the donut tweet".
Hank: *laughs* 
Big Cat: And guess what? I like where I put myself. I boxed myself in a pretty nice corner that I have to eat donuts every Saturday. 
BILLY: Candied pork



PFT: Candied pork belly would be really really good 
Big Cat: Ohhhh, come on, someone has somethin'.



PFT: It's dessert. The answer's dessert.
Hank: Lasagna!
Big Cat: No, lasagna needs meat too!



PFT: Way better with meat. Bad take Hank.
Hank: I hate lasagna, i'm just throwing stuff out there.
BILLY: Dude honestly, dairy products, meat, there's nothing. 



PFT: There's certain things that are better, like chips & queso, I like queso more without meat. 
Big Cat: That's not a meal though, that's not a meal. I'm not talking about like appetizers, like a pretzel's great but like-
Hank: A wrap.
Big Cat: Meat! You eat a wrap without meat in it?
Hank: No. 
Big Cat: *laughs*
Hank: I don't know. 
Big Cat: PETA is so mad at this segment. *laughing*
BILLY: Fuck you PETA.
Big Cat: Uhh, what is the best meal without meat!? Are we just missing something obvious? Or is it obvious that everything is better with meat?
Hank: Pizza! Pizza!
Big Cat: Pepperoni!



Hank: No. Cheese Pizza.
Big Cat: Come on.



PFT: I think that might be the answer.
Big Cat: That is the best.




PFT: It's either pizza or it's mac & cheese.
Big Cat: Yeah, cheese pizza is the best but I still would rather have pepperoni on it. 


PFT: I just realized that cheese pizza and mac & cheese are essentially the exact same thing.
Big Cat: Correct.



PFT: The dough is just-
Big Cat: Given to you differently.



PFT: -cooked harder, kissed by fire.
Big Cat: Let's get to Fyre Fest of the week, before we do that, Bose is back. After coming on as a sponsor for our En Eff El Draft coverage, they are now a partner of Pardon My Take, they hooked us all up with these awesome Bose 700 headphones. The Bose headphones 700 are perfect for when it's time to enjoy your music, work from home or listen to your favorite podcast, Pardon My Take! These headphones have 11 levels of noise cancellation, signature active EQ, and impressive bass response. Whether you're listening at low volumes or really wanna turn it up your music sounds just as it should and you hear all your podcasts clearly. If you're working out, if you're on a commute, if you're on an airplane, if you're anywhere, Bose has it all! And they're hooking us up like we said, we also got the sunglasses with the headphones attached, those are pretty cool. Do you have your Bose home speaker?



PFT: I do.
Big Cat: Because I use that all the time.



PFT: That's perfect, that's my go to in the shower. You prop that up, you don't have to worry about putting your phone in some sort of wack ass speaker situation. It's super loud, I actually really do like the Bose sunglasses that they gave us. I wear those all the time.
Big Cat: Yeah all of 'em are awesome, also if you're looking to get dad something for Fathers Day, the Bose 700 headphones are part of a special offer where you can save $50 on the black or silver models, or save $100 on the soapstone model if you order before June 21st. So you still have time, you can easily just order it and show your dad, "hey dad, these are on their way and they are Pardon My Take approved". So to shop for the Bose headphones 700 or learn more about what they can do, visit Bose.com/barstool. I repeat, Bose.com/barstool. B-o-s-e dot com/barstool. We love our Bose, we love Bose as a sponsor, a premier sponsor, a premium sponsor. Great great sound, listen to us with your Bose. Listen, right now if you're listening with regular headphones you can hear this, *lowers voice to near whisper* if you're listening with Bose you can hear this.



PFT: You actually miss 33% of the takes we give on the show if you don't wear Bose headphones. 
Big Cat: Bose.com/barstool, do it right now, Bose.com/barstool. Okay, Fyre Fest of the week! Hank, you begin.
Hank: Billy!
Big Cat: Okay Billy, you begin.
BILLY: So we were playing the SEC Championship game and I was reaching for-
Hank: We? 
Big Cat: No, he's on the coaching staff. You aren't Hank, PFT's on the team and coaching staff, Billy's on the coaching staff, Muj is on the coaching staff.



PFT: I'm the coaching staff to the coaching staff.
Big Cat: Rone, Brandon Walker are on the coaching staff. Hank you are a hater!



PFT: Ooo, so wait Billy while you were in the SEC Championship game what happened?
BILLY: We were playing, I was reaching for something on the floor and then I was reaching for my spitter and I ended up spilling dipspit all over myself on a livestream. 



PFT: Yeah but then I poured water all over you later so it'd wash off.
BILLY: No, no that was after I switched my shirt and then you poured water on me, then I had to get another shirt. 
Big Cat: Also, my Fyre Fest that didn't happen, PFT was like "hey Billy, go get some water to pour on Big Cat after he wins" and you went and got a bottle of Pink Whitney.



PFT: A bucket of Pink Whitney.
Big Cat: Which makes no sense, you were just gonna pour, a delicious might I add, liquor on me



PFT: He was gonna waste a bunch of Pink Whitney. 
BILLY: Shots, shots, shots.
Big Cat: With a shit load of technology around me, my computer, my phone, my controller, the cameras, everything. You were just gonna go full send. 




PFT: So your Fyre Fest was 2 days ago, you spilled dipspit on yourself?
Big Cat: Tough life.
BILLY: Yeah.


PFT: You're at the perfect age to be walking around with a few stray stains here and there.
BILLY: It was bad.



PFT: If you're 23 years old, I would expect that you'd have some just random stains on you.
Big Cat: Yeah 
BILLY: I'm 21.



PFT: You're not livin' if you're not. Yeah, i'm saying if you're 23 I would expect that too. 21-26, that's prime stain territory.
Big Cat: I think i'm back in stain territory by the way.



PFT: Once you become a dad you can have miscellaneous stains. 
Big Cat: I would love to blame my son for it but it is absolutely my fault, cause I just look down at my shirt and i'll be like "ooh where'd this come from?". 



PFT: I would say, the years where you should not have stains is, the years where it's socially unacceptable to have stains, would be 28-34.
Big Cat: Nice cutoff.



PFT: Yeah, and then again 40-53.
Big Cat: Okay. 




PFT: And then 53 and up it's like who cares?
Big Cat: Also 15-18 cause then it's really embarrassing.


PFT: True, yeah.
Big Cat: You gotta run clean game.



PFT: Yeah, you can't talk to girls if you have those stains.
Big Cat: Everyone's like "oh there's stain kid"



PFT: And they just assume it's jizz, which it probably is.
Big Cat: Most likely is. Hank, your Fyre Fest.
Hank: My Fyre Fest, speaking of age it was my birthday on Saturday, obviously it's during corona.
Big Cat: Oh happy birthday Hank. Happy birthday, 27.
Hank: I didn't really know what to do. My girlfriend was like "what do you wanna do?" and I was like "I don't really know", then I was like "let's go to a driving range", trying to think of something for an activity. I had rented a car for the month, we drove out to Long Island, went to a driving range and then we walked-
Big Cat: In Long Island. 
Hank: On Long Island, and we walked up and they're like "you idiot, we're not renting you clubs because of corona. If you don't have your own clubs you can't drive".
Big Cat: Did you say it was your birthday?
Hank: I didn't say it was my birthday, I just-
Big Cat: *saddened* What!? Dude! 



PFT: Did you say "do you know who I am?"
Hank: I didn't, I didn't do either. 
Big Cat: "Pardon My Take, ever heard of it?"
Hank: I did one of those, "that makes a lot of sense, i'm an idiot, let's turn around and go home."
Big Cat: Ah, you should've dropped the birthday on 'em.
Hank: It was more I was so embarrassed in that moment, you know when you're like "of course, duh. Why didn't I think of that?"
Big Cat: This is corona. 



PFT: What did that conversation go like, when you told Ria, that we can't do it?
Hank: She was right next to me.





PFT: That look that you get-
Hank: Well she didn't wanna go anyways so she was like "okay!".



PFT: Yeah but if you're on a date and you get that look from the person you're taking on the date of just like "I can't believe i'm with somebody this incompetent.", i've had that look many times before. 
Hank: She was in the position where it was like i'm going to a driving range and it's my birthday so she can't say she wants nothing to do with going to a driving range.
Big Cat: Right and then she got credit for it.
Hank: Yes, correct.
Big Cat: She got full credit for going even though,  yeah that's actually a huge win for her. 



PFT: So you took a nice drive basically. 
Hank: Yeah.



PFT: Okay.
Hank: There was traffic too, so it was just a drive in New York city. 





PFT: On New York City.
Hank: *laughs*
Big Cat: Now that things are starting to open up too it's weird, I don't know if you guys have had the meeting someone yet. Like meeting someone new, cause I moved into a new building and i'm meeting people and you can't shake hands so no matter what, the conversation starts in an awkward spot.



PFT: You know what? I actually don't mind this new normal, because 1 it eliminates the possibility of the awkward white guy dap which is huge for me.
Big Cat: Well...



PFT: And 2, you don't have to worry about getting caught in between a handshake a like a pat on the back, that whole thing.
Big Cat: Yeah but the idea of saying like "hey i'm Dan!", "hey, i'm this person!" and then you're just standing like 7 feet away from each other and you're like "okay, cool!".



PFT: But in that moment you're both sharing the idea of like "look at us, we're in this together at this moment in our lives.".
Big Cat: It sucks though, you don't know when to end it and you don't know when to start it, it just sucks. 
BILLY: I'm kind of in that situation in the office now, but I kind of- 
Big Cat: Don't touch anyone, you don't have permission to touch anybody.
BILLY: I don't touch anybody but it's like "oh, are you a ha-"
Hank: I've seen you shake hands with multiple people that you've met.
Big Cat: Yeah, if coronavirus is cured tomorrow, you still can't touch people in the office. 
BILLY: Okay.



PFT: Billy your favorite emoji is the handshake emoji, you going around just like pressing flesh with everything.
Big Cat: *laughing*
BILLY: So i'm like "i'm down with handshakes" and then whenever they say like "me too" and it's an agreed upon thing, it's a thing in common.
Hank: It's a real life meme handshake emoji? 
BILLY: Like "oh you do handshakes now?" and they're like "yeah, I do handshakes!" and it's like "oh cool!". 
Big Cat: When you see someone, be like "i'm not allowed to touch you" just say that at the beginning.



PFT: And everyone else in the office, this goes for you guys...If Billy tries to shake your hand, notify us immediately.
Big Cat: Yes, notify your authorities. See something, say something, Billy Football.



PFT: We'll cut your hands off Billy 
Big Cat: Yeah, just say too "even if you give me consent, i am not allowed to touch you". Alright, PFT what's yours?





PFT: My Fyre Fest of the week is I don't own an Oura Titanium Ring and everyone in the NBA is getting one. I didn't know what thing was until, eh 30 minutes ago. Now? Why the fuck don't I have my Oura Titanium Ring? Why doesn't everyone have a Titanium Ring that will tell you 3 days in advance if you're gonna get the rona?
Hank: What is this? I didn't see this.
Big Cat: It's a ring they're making everyone wear in the NBA bubble, and it tells you with 90% accuracy if you have coronavirus 3 days before you'll start showing symptoms. It essentially confirms what we all fully knew but didn't know, that rich people just have medicine and technology that the rest of us can't have access to that will keep them alive forever.



PFT: What I think this ring is, is somebody just decided to make a wearable technology that didn't really have any sort of advanced ideas about how to detect coronavirus, it probably just senses whether or not you cough. And if it senses that you cough, it uploads the data to your cell phone or whatever, and it's like "oh shit, i'm gonna get coronavirus", but it's really just measuring if your body shakes. 
Big Cat: Who's gonna get the first ring injury?



PFT: Oooo. Ring injury, ahh.
Big Cat: Like getting it caught on a rim, getting it caught on a ping pong, somethin'.



PFT: This seems-
Big Cat: Could you imagine if that was what, now i'm not saying I want it, but god forbid LeBron broke his finger-



PFT: I have the answer! No, it's not LeBron
Big Cat: -before the playoffs because of this corona ring. God forbid. 





PFT: It is 100% Javale McGee. 
Big Cat: Yeah. 



PFT: Without a doubt, he's probably already hurt himself.
Big Cat: Just tryna put it on. But yeah, this ring is definitely one of those moments where you're like "god damnit, I knew it! I knew it! These guys, they're taking drugs that we don't know about, they have technology we don't know about, they're all gonna live to a billion years old, this sucks!".



PFT: I saw a picture of the ring and it looks sweet. It's titanium on the outside and it's got infrared looking stuff on the inside. It actually does look like the Lord of the Rings ring.
Big Cat: Can I pause for a second? I gotta get to my Fyre Fest but this app that's making everyone look female? It's funny for the coaches, a couple of our co-workers like Dana just tweeted a picture of himself and like I wanna fuck him. What's going on?
Hank: I'm gonna say that's weird.
Big Cat: This is.... I was like "who is that!?!". It's a hot ass chick!
Hank: It's also, I feel like you can only say it so many times before people have to figure it out for themselves, but it's also like it's definitely not a good thing that people are outwardly putting out pictures of themselves looking like a girl. That's gonna end up, it's not gonna end up in the right hands. 
Big Cat: All the face technology apps. Yeah.





PFT: Right. Yeah. 
Big Cat: We've learned this lesson, it's basically every 6 months we have to relearn this lesson.
Hank: Right



PFT: I've also noticed that most people who are uploading pictures of them looking like a woman, are the same people who made fun of me for wearing a dress. Interesting!
Big Cat: Oh!



PFT: But a lot of these pictures, people are posting it like it's a thirst trap.
Hank: Yeah, like Billy wants to fuck Vibbs. Billy legit saw the picture of Vibbs and was like "damn. does she work here?".



PFT: Like Dana posted this picture, to show people how hot he is, as a girl.
Big Cat: Yes, this is not okay.
Hank: *laughing*
Big Cat: Cause I got turned on by Dana right there and actually, you know what? I have no problem with it. Alright, my Fyre Fest is shoes. So, I finally sprung and bought a pair of shoes that I had my eyes on for a very long time, very expensive. I texted Hank, who loves shoes and I also knew that he would love these pair of shoes and he just text me back and he said "oh yeah, Ria got me those for Valentines Day and I just have been too scared to wear 'em." and what'd he do the next day? He wore them, before I could get mine, so he just basically cucked me.



PFT: That's a good play by Hank.
Big Cat: Yeah it was a good play. I knew it was gonna happen! I knew it was gonna happen, but i'm just so frustrated because I was eyeing these shoes for so long, they finally came in my size and I ended up buying them.
Hank: I never would've bought them, because they're expensive, I never would of bought them on my own. 
Big Cat: Yeah, so it's kind of bullshit. I should actually just scribble on them "bought with my own money".



PFT: You know what you have to do next time? Just tell Hank that you got a pair of shoes that you didn't, because he's gonna go out and buy it before you.  
Hank: No so and the worst part is Big Cat, he did reach out like "you're gonna love these shoes"
Big Cat: And he does love 'em! 
Hank: And I kinda knew, I had a feeling he's gonna be talking about these shoes.
Big Cat: Loves 'em!
Hank: And if he just didn't do that, he would've worn them in the office before I did because they're so nice. You know when you have something so nice that you're like "i'm scared to wear this because i'm gonna ruin it", so I was waiting for the right moment. Big Cat would of worn them to the office and got credit for having them.
PFT: What shoes are these? 
Big Cat: The shoes you wore in the ping pong on Tuesday



PFT: Oh, the shoes you got your ass beat in!
Big Cat: Yeah! 4-0.



PFT: He'll never wear 'em again probably.
Big Cat: Here's the thing Hank, I will outwear those. I will wear those all the time. 
Hank: Yeah.
Big Cat: I will outwear you.
Hank: That's fine, I will flex harder when I do wear them.
Big Cat: Oh really?
Hank: Yeah.
Big Cat: But then everyone will be like "oh, those are Big Cat's shoes"
Hank: Incorrect, cause I wore them first.
Big Cat: But i'm going to wear them so much that people will be like "that's synonymous" 



PFT: It's not about who says it first, it's about who said it loudest.
Hank: But it's on the record.
Big Cat: Nope.
Hank: The analls *not a typo* of history will prove me right. 
Big Cat: *mocking* The analls? The analls of history! 





PFT: Annals of history. 
Big Cat: Billy you okay? You got something stuck in your tooth? You do actually have something stuck in your tooth. 
BILLY: Is it annals or analls?



PFT: It's annals. It's annals of history.
Big Cat: Yeah. You gonna do anall tonight? 



PFT: That's why they call it going back through time.
Big Cat: Alright, lets get to out interview. We have NickMercs on the podcast, awesome awesome interview. If you don't know who it is, it is probably one of the biggest Twitch streamers out there, something a little different, not our usual interview but that's what we're tryna do right now. There's not a lot of sports goin' on so we're tryna give you somethin' different. Yeah do that, chug it, there's so many of those bottles around here.
Hank: Shoutout to TJ by the way.
Big Cat: Shoutout to TJ, TJ's the man.



PFT: Anytime you take a sip out a mystery can and it's not dipsit in this room that is a huge win.
Big Cat: That's a win. But yeah, shoutout to TJ





PFT: By the way Big Cat are you ever gonna get rid of that dipspit bottle over there?
Hank: *laughing* Oh! That's a good question PFT!
Big Cat: It has a top! There's a top on it.



PFT: That's been there forever, that's disgusting. 
Big Cat: There's a top on it. Notice the top.



PFT: That is absolutely gross.
Big Cat: Dipspit bottles with tops? Allowed.
Hank: And it's not 3/4 full.



PFT: Barf city. 
Big Cat: *laughs* Yeah, it's not overflowing. 



PFT: Who would do that?
Big Cat: *slight chuckle* Alright let's get to NickMercs, before we do that, Mugsy Jeans. I've actually mad the transition boys, i'm exclusively Mugsy now. I think they sent me like 6 or 7 pairs, I was like "I want 'em all". I wear them all the time, they're so comfortable, you've heard us talk about them. I've actually known these guys for years, they're started by Stoolies, I remember back when I was living in Chicago and I knew a guy who knew a guy and he's like "hey, we wanna send you some of these jeans", sent 'em to me and i've been in love ever since. So after 5 years of working with industry experts Mugsy Jeans perfected jeans for the common man, the magic is in Mugsy's proprietary denim which is made from a bunch of high tech materials that make these jeans mindblowingly soft and flexible. Even better, Mugsy's come in a stylish not too baggy but not too tight so you somehow look even better than you feel. If you're a guy like me who, you can't wear skinny jeans but you also don't wanna wear baggy jeans, these are the perfect jeans for you. Wanna look good indoors for yourself or your partner? Wanna look good for your boss on that important Zoom call? Well, you need to have some Mugsy Jeans, because they're comfortable, you can wear them inside, you can wear them to work, you can wear them everywhere. Mugsy now has ultra-stretch chinos as well, perfect for your golf game. Mugsy Jeans are sweeping the Stoolie Nation for good reason, take our word for it, give Mugsy Jeans a try and you won't be able to wear any other jeans again. Mugsy's so confident you'll love their jeans, they do free shipping and returns so your comfort is 100% guaranteed. Do your legs a favor, head to Muggsy.com, that's Mugsy.com to check out Mugsy's full lineup of jeans and safe for work chinos including new sizes and styles. Use code PMT for $10 off right now, that's a beer on us and a pair of the most comfortable jeans ever made by heading to Muggsy.com, using code PMT. M-u-g-s-y dot com, code PMT and you will not be disappointed. Okay here he is, NickMercs!

Big Cat: Okay, we now welcome on a very very very special guest, legend of the game, it's NickMercs. If you are someone who has watched video games on Twitch, if you even know anything about video games or Twitch you've heard of him. He's one of the biggest Twitch stars out there, one of the greatest video game players ever. Stop me when i'm not making sense anymore. 
NICK: Okay, keep going this is great.
Big Cat: 3 million YouTube subscribers, over a million Twitch subscribers.
NICK: Oh! Mm *fist pump*
Big Cat: He's pretty much the biggest thing since sliced bread.



PFT: And he's 6 feet tall.
Big Cat: 6 feet tall





NICK: You're god damn right.
Big Cat: His only flaw that I could find, is that he roots for the Michigan Wolverines.
NICK: Ahhhhh. *deeply hurt*
Big Cat: But that's it. That's literally it. So, good to have you on Nick, it's been a long time coming. We're excited to talk to you and kind of understand how Twitch works. 
NICK: For sure, happy to be here man, awesome, this is lit. I've never been on a podcast before.
Big Cat: Yeah, when you say that, how is that possible? Is the Twitch world and podcast world that seperate!?
NICK: No, I mean I don't think so. It's just I kinda already feel like i'm on a podcast if i'm streaming. You got the camera, you got the mic, you got chat. They tell me to jump on a podcast, I just feel like i'm always on a podcast. 



PFT: Yeah, it just doesn't happen to be available on Spotify or ITunes but it's out there. You can find clips of NickMercs talking into a camera if you really want to. You were just telling us before you joined, it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, you said you just woke up. That's the gamer life schedule for you? Waking up at like high noon?
NICK: Yeah, you just get in a rhythm man, you start playing a video game and kinda like when I was a little kid, you just keep playin' and playin' and playin' and then it's 1 and then it's 2 and then it's 4, then the birds are chirping and you're just like "ah shit dude I fucked up" *laughing*. But that's my life man, I play all night and I sleep all day. 
Big Cat: So talking about your childhood, at what point were you like "oh my god this is gonna be it, this is what I want to do"? Because everyone played video games as a kid but at what point were you like "this is it."?
NICK: Shit, y'all wanna get into this part huh?



PFT: Mhm.
Big Cat: Yeah.
NICK: Aw man, I mean, I don't know, at what point did you guys feel you wanted to run a podcast?
Big Cat: Not till I was like 30 



PFT: Yeah, when I got fired from literally every other job available. Then I was like "yeah, sure i'll just keep talking".
NICK: Ah dude same here man, the failures in life just kind of push you to where you are today. I mean me, I tried a lot of different things but the one thing that was consistent along side me trying all these different things was always gaming. I love gaming, I always wanted to do it but back when I started no one really knew that this was gonna turn into this, so we were all just kind of wingin' it, kinda like we are today. It's pretty crazy what gaming's turned into, but when I started streaming there was no real way to make any money, we were just kind of doing it for fun. Being able to talk to a chat box and be interactive with people and entertain but from your home, it's super cool. There was no money, we were in college or we had a part time job. I knew I was good, I was beating ass every fucking night man, no matter what, no matter what game, Halo, COD, Gears of War, just beatin' ass, so I knew I was good but I had no idea it would turn into this. 



PFT: What game was it when you were growing up or just starting to game competitively that you knew "okay, if I can dominate at this game, then i'm actually on a world class basis"?
NICK: *stammering* I mean, it's gonna be tough for me to hammer this point home because *stammering* like when I came up, no one knew it was gonna turn into this. And I know i'm kinda saying the same things but ignorance is bliss, we were just beating the shit out of each other having fun, going to play for little tiny tournaments but it was never a goal to do it for the rest of our lives cause we didn't think we'd ever be able to. Then when Justin.tv turned into Twitch.tv, gaming just started excelling. More and more people got into gaming, more and more people were curious about gaming. I started seeing the prize pools in these tournaments going from like $5,000 to $100,000, I was like "wait a second, this is kind of weird" but it hit this big big boom of success and now it's where it is today. When I first started, we had no idea that it would be this so it was never a plan.
Big Cat: I think that's the part that people can't wrap their head around, myself included, before coronavirus and Hank being like "hey, you should get on Twitch" I had no idea really what was going on, i'd hop on every now and then and watch something but I never really understood how big of an audience there is. How many people watch your Twitch on just a regular random night? What's the average amount of people? Just to put it into context.
NICK: Dude we get like 40,000 people man, in the stream every night.
Big Cat: That's crazy!
NICK: Crazy.
Big Cat: And then what's the peak that you've had?
NICK: Dude i've had like 180,000 viewers at one point.
Big Cat: That's nuts! People who don't watch this, who are listening right now and they're like "oh it's just video games", I thought the same thing 3 months ago but then-.
NICK: I mean you were on a stream the other night ballin', you like 100 somethin' didn't you? Playin' the NCAA joint.
Big Cat: Yeah, when we started doing it, it was like "holy shit, there's 40, 50", the National Championship had 126K.
NICK: That's crazy!
Big Cat: I was like "this is insane how many people know this"
NICK: No hosts, no raid, no nothing. Just you.
Big Cat: What are those? Explain those terms. I have no idea what you just said.
NICK: So a host on Twitch.tv is someone has a lot of viewers or whatever and they wanna host your channel, they can send their stream and all their viewers to your stream essentially. A raid is kind of another thing like that, instead of hosting the channel so it brings that streamers picture on your picture, you can just go on a raid and send everybody over there and you don't bring up their picture on your picture. But hosting a raid is super cool, and it's a great way to give back to a smaller community and what not. I mean shit, you hosted me twice and you had more viewers than me both times Big Cat! 





PFT: So it's like a retweet!
Big Cat: Holy shit, no big deal. 
NICK: It's all love baby.
Big Cat: That is all love. So explain this to me, this is the part I can't understand with Twitch and maybe you have a different experience because you've been doing it for a very long time and you also give back to your community, you do a lot of cool things. How do you get it so you don't get bullied by all the chat? I just get bullied.
NICK: *laughing* Yeah dude, I got a lot of friends like Los, Los just gets bullied the whole time too man. It's kind of like an energy man, I don't know, I get bullied too bro! They think i'm 5'7 and shit, they really think i'm 5'7. 



PFT: Fuck yeah, that sucks doesn't it?!
Big Cat: How tall are you? 
NICK: It sucks, i'm 6 feet man!



PFT: Same.
NICK: People come up to me when they meet me in person, they're like "I thought you were like 5'6 man" i'm like "yo, fuck you bro" *laughing*
Big Cat: *laughing*



PFT: It is kind of nice to hear that sometimes, this dude came up to me on the street the other day and he was like "PFT you're a lot taller than I thought you'd be" and i'm "how tall did you think I was?"
Big Cat: *laughing*





PFT: Like if you think that 5'9 and a half, almost 3/4, is tall.
Big Cat: How do you stop the trolling? Do you just not read them? What I have is a lot of times people will just say "oh your mic is broken" and it's not but they'll spam it and i'm so stupid that I stop everything to check and it just gets in my head. How do you stop that?
NICK: I don't think you do, I think you just embrace it. Now you're the guy with the broken fuckin' mic.
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah.
NICK: I mean shit's working, broken mic 120K viewers. Suck my ass!
Big Cat: What about a lag switch? They claim I have a lag switch that I change the settings, I hit the lag switch and when the game's lagged out I change everything, cheat and then come back. What's that?
NICK: They're just messin' with you man. They know you're not a gamer, gamer so they're just tryna throw it all at ya.
Big Cat: I've never felt so old then I do on a Twitch chat.



PFT: Does anyone ever accuse you of prerecording your stuff?
NICK: Oh a couple times but for me i'm a really interactive streamer, i'm always talkin' shit to chat and reading and having fun. So it's kind of hard to do that *laughing*







PFT: But then they'll accuse you of prerecording that to make it seem like that's the perfect way to make it seem like it's not prerecorded. I flipped it on the chat and now I think the chat's prerecorded. 
NICK: Oh there we go. We think you're prerecorded! Works, it works. Speaking of prerecorded! This has a different vibe, we're not live right now, it's a little different. You can chop it all up. 



PFT: Yeah, you can say anything you want! Bleep out whatever you need.
NICK: I used to do vlogging on YouTube, I did a few of them and I never liked it. It was always weird to me that I was talking to the camera like "ayy, what's up guys, how you doin?", there wasn't anybody, I was talkin' to myself man. At least i'm talking to you guys right now which makes it a little bit more comfortable. But imagine talking to yourself just vlogging, isn't that kinda weird?
Big Cat: I agree.



PFT: It is, you're like talking to a future audience that you hope will show up and watch it at some point.
NICK: Literally, yeah I never liked it.



PFT: Are your thumbs insured?
NICK: My dad was trying to get me to get this hand insurance, I said no.
Big Cat: *slight chuckle*





PFT: You said "fuck it!"?
NICK: Lotta money man *laughs*
Big Cat: Really? 
NICK: Lotta money for sure, I probably should. It's getting to that point now where I probably should. My uncle has his hands insured, he's a doctor. 



PFT: Oh, I thought you were gonna say he's a watch model or somethin'.
NICK: No, he's an orthopedic surgeon, pretty important hands man, he works on a lot of athletes and shit. But we were all at the family dinner having a good time and my dad made a joke about getting my hands insured, my uncle was like "you really should". I guess people do that, I don't know it's a lot of money though. 
Big Cat: Yeah. So I read as well that your dad was initially like "fuck this, my son's not a video game player.". How was it tryna convince him and what was the moment where he was like "you know what, this actually is a great living and you're having fun."?
NICK: Do you guys come from sport families? I'd imagine you do like your pops is into sports, brothers and sisters and stuff. 
Big Cat: Yeah.
NICK: Right, in my house growing up my brothers and sisters, we all played sports. My dad played college sports, my uncle played college sports, my grandpa played college sports, my dad coached college football for 8 years that's why we're #GoBlue fans over here. The list goes on and on and on, I got a really crazy family when it comes to sports, so sports was the norm. This gaming shit was like "ah.", my dad was the one dad that never, I mean all my friends parents were cool with playing video games, my dad was never about it man. It was "get the fuck outside, go get dirty, go do shit", just typical standard stuff, it really was like that in my house. Don't get up from the table until your plate's clean, go outside and play basketball for 10 hours in the backyard and then go have a fight. It was literally all we fuckin' did. I had a friend, who it was just him, he had no brothers or sisters and he used to get all the systems, the Halo's, the Gears of War's, the Call of Duty's, everything right when it came out and i'd go sneak over to his house and play all the time but I was better than all my friends that played over there, I was way better than them! So it was a long process man, my dad just had to learn that there's actual cash to be made, you know what I mean?
Big Cat: Right, right!
NICK: Long time though, a lot of fights. Me and my dad did not get along, high school teachers used to call people on him and shit for the things he'd say in front of other people and do in front of other people. Me and my dad used to get in fights all the time, it was not okay but it turned out great. Now my dad's my superhero, listen man, i'm good at perspective stuff. If I was a college football coach type father and my son was not doing the sport thing and being real combative, and I was also an asshole as a kid, I was a really tough kid to raise, a lot of attitude problems, but then again bro, I had no fuckin' sleep, i'd go to school all day and then i'd play games all night!
Big Cat: *laughing* 





PFT: Yeah, you were tired all the time!
NICK: I got no sleep! Imagine getting no sleep, you're not gonna be a very happy fuckin' thing. So just a lot of problems.
Big Cat: *holding back laughter* What's the longest you've ever slept?
NICK: Oh my god, dude I used to like hibernate.



PFT: *laughing*
Big Cat: *chuckle*
NICK: I used to over a weekend, i'd pull a 13 hour shift man. La la land, wake up mouth glued together, can't even open my eyes, just like "damn!". *laughing*



PFT: What's the longest stream you've ever had? Or not even stream, what's the longest, before the streaming days that you've sat at a console and played?
NICK: Oh man, well before the stream, because when you're doing a stream you're kinda entertaining and talking with high energy and stuff so that's a different type of vibe. But back when I was a kid, we weren't doing none of that we were just playing, i'd be on for like 40 hours or some shit, playing Halo 2.
Big Cat: Shut up. Jesus christ!



PFT: 40 hours!?
NICK: Yeah yeah. We'd just eat pizza rolls and ranch and just fuckin' play Halo man. 



PFT: What was the fuel? Was it Mountain Dew keepin' you up or did you dip into Red Bull? Red Bull zero, Monster? Bang some Monsters.
NICK: Yeah of course, what was the Coca Cola, the vanilla one? We used to dominate that shit. 







PFT: Orange Vanilla coke? 
Big Cat: Oh yeah. 
NICK: No not orange, just Vanilla coke man. Incredible!
Big Cat: Are you a controller player or a computer player?
NICK: *holds up controller*
Big Cat: Hell yes! Controller's the answer.
NICK: All day bro. 
Big Cat: Explain that divide, explain what the difference is between the 2 to people who probably don't understand like "playing video games on a computer? How does that make sense?".
NICK: Well you got this *holds up controller* and you got this *holds up mouse*, you got a mouse and keyboard of course. The difference is there, the thing is over the past couple of years, controller players have been teeing off against keyboard and mouse players, which usually doesn't happen. Cause when we were growing up computer games were computer games and console games were console games but now you're getting this blend, we're being put in the same area, we're beating the shit out of each other. So you know what comes with that, the shit talking.





PFT: It's a schism.
NICK: Yeah totally man, and it's across the board. At the highest level, at the lowest level, in the middle and everybody's just teeing up against each other. 
Big Cat: Is one easier than the other?
NICK: No, I think that growing up most people started on a controller, so it's what we did we all started on controller and then if you had a lot of money and you were doing well then you could afford a whole PC and a keyboard and mouse. That's what they like to call *extreme bleep out noise*. Fact of the matter is



PFT: Bleep that one out.
NICK: What i'm saying is that they don't really get to buy a computer and mouse, don't blur this one out. A lot of these keyboard and mouse players started on console and controller and they forgot where they came from.
Big Cat: Yes!



PFT: Sounds like they sold out.
Big Cat: So are you like a hero in the controller world? 
NICK: I'm just stubborn.
Big Cat: Alright, yes, yes. You're a hero in the controller world, that kind of answers that. 



PFT: What about aimbots? Hank likes to accuse everybody that's better than him for using an aimbot
NICK: Me too man.





PFT: Yeah that's the way right, if they're any better they're obviously cheating. If they're any worse, you're better than them. Has there ever been a big aimbot scandal in professional ESports?
NICK: I think so, i'm not really into the drama side of things which is kinda crazy, I know y'all heard about all that bullshit. I'm not a real big drama guy, i'm never in it, i'm never in the fuckin' loop, i'm never in the loop. I don't know shit about nothin' until it's brought up to me, so as far as drama type stuff I know what happens, I don't know where though.
Big Cat: What about your drama with 100 Thieves? 
NICK: Yeah yeah yeah.
Big Cat: That was drama.
NICK: Little bit of drama, that's the only time i've ever been in drama.
Big Cat: I actually, reading up about it, I liked how you handled it. You're just like "this wasn't what I was promised and i'm out.".
NICK: Well fuck, y'know. Straight up.
Big Cat: How do the video game teams work? Explain that to me.
NICK: Like a gaming team?
Big Cat: Yeah, like you were on a team, now you're on a different team. What are the benefits, what does it mean?
NICK: Well, the exposure, you're linked up with other big guys, you might get a salary, you might not, they take care of ya. There's all kinds of benefits in being part of a gaming organization. FaZe has been taking care of me like crazy, they gave me the hookup, they let me do my own thing but support everything that I do which is a rare thing, by the way. They're awesome, 100 Thieves is also a great gaming organization too, I think it kind of got lost in the sauce when all that shit transpired. I never meant to drag 100 Thieves, cause I got a lot of friends on that organization and it's kinda like 2 NFL teams and you got a bunch of coaches, a bunch of players, just because you have 1 dispute with a guy doesn't mean the whole fuckin' team's bad, y'know?







PFT: How does that work with coaches? Is it basically a player run organization or do you actually have someone that supervises and is watching everybody and giving them advice and like "no this guy's not that good, we need to replace him", that type of thing.
NICK: Yeah, dude, I really don't know. When I was comin' up in the ESports scene as a player, we didn't really have coaches but now it's like full blown coaches and routines and they have like a dietician, they got 'em doin' exercises, i'm serious it's like full blown.   



PFT: What kind of exercises do you do?
NICK: Me? I just workout man. I got a little home gym over here now and I love it bro. I did 2 or 3 months with no gym, I lost like 20 pounds, I was getting a little bit frail. I was starting to get a little bit worried about this Smitty beef, that he might be able to take me in a head-on-head but now that i'm back in the gym and shit and workin' out, I think i'll be alright.
Big Cat: *laughs* You took some time off from streaming, did you notice when you came back that it was like "oh shit, i'm way out of practice."? Is it similar to sports in that respect? That if a baseball player doesn't pick up a bat for a month, their timing is all off. Was it like that for you?
NICK: It totally can be but it can also not be. Sometimes people get burnt out man, they do need a break, breaks are good. And I think even at the highest level of sports, maybe NBA players, NFL players, a lot of those guys I bet you that they would say the same thing, that taking a break every now and then is really good for their body and their mind, just keep everything sharp. And I think same thing can be said for gaming, you burn out if you don't take breaks. You'll come back from a week without playing sometimes and just fry everybody. But then again, you can come back sometimes and be really washed up and you gotta work on your game again. 
Big Cat: What are you ranked overall in Call of Duty right now? Can you just beat everyone?
NICK: Nah i'm not that good man. I'm good, I think the thing about me, if I had to rate myself, I don't really like talking about me and grading me, I let other people do that shit for me but if you're gonna make me do it...I think if I had to carve it up for anybody i'd say that no matter what game, no matter when, I always find a way to make some real fuckin' noise and not a lot of people can say that. I can go from Fortnite to Call of Duty to Gears of War to Halo and I will always make some noise, I can guarantee you that. Just give me some time, let me work on my game and i'm fuckin' in there.
Big Cat: So are you saying noise in the game or are you saying noise in terms of entertaining Twitch?
NICK: Yeah, i'm gonna rock some heads, i'm gonna entertain some people on Twitch, imma do my thing for sure.
Big Cat: I like that, yeah. 



PFT: Do you ever go back and watch film of yourself and be like "hey, this is where I can improve."?
NICK: I used to man but i'm not a 100% comp player. But I think that if you are, if you're not doing the Twitch streaming thing, you're not tryna entertain or make content, I think it's really important to go back and watch your stuff just so you can see the mistakes you made and even the things you do well and just study study study. That's all it is, just in your mind.



PFT: I've got a really dumb question, I probably should of asked this earlier but what does Merc mean? 
NICK: It's like a hired assassin.
Big Cat: *perks up* ooooo.



PFT: Okay cause i've heard it as a noun like a mercenary. I've also heard it like "I just murked this dude" like a verb. 
NICK: Did you guys ever play Splinter Cell? Or nah?
Big Cat: No
NICK: Oh my god man, it was like spies vs mercs, it was 2v2 and the spies would goup behind a merc and *cracking sound* crack it real quick.
Big Cat: *high pitched laughter*
NICK: It was a wild game bro, that's when my attitude was the worst was when playing that. 
Big Cat: What do you mean your attitude was the worst? You were just yelling at people?
NICK: Oh dude, when I was like 12 or 13 i'd just grab that neck say "get fucked motherfucker", you know.
Big Cat: *laughing*



NICK: My mom would come down "what are you talking like that for". Dude my mom heard me cussing one time on the Xbox and she got so mad at me that she put my Xbox in a trashbag, "you wanna fuckin' cuss?", she puts it in the trashbag and runs out to the front yard, i'm like "what are you doing?", i'm following her like "what are you doing, what are you doing?" and she smashes the Xbox on the ground like 10 times, the whole time screaming "you wanna cuss? you wanna fuckin' cuss?", i'm like "oh my god". It was nuts bro.
Big Cat: *laughing*



PFT: That was the worst, when I first was tryna learn how to play Halo back in college I was just getting killed every 2 seconds by an 11 year old and then that 11 year old was just an ass.
NICK: That was me!



PFT: That was you! 
NICK: That was me.







PFT: You probably killed me like 50 times.
Big Cat: Wiped the floor. 



PFT: You made me quit video games.
NICK: I was such a nerd man, oh my god. If I could go back. 
Big Cat: What's the reaction, i'd say it's probably better now than it was 5 years ago but what's the reaction when you are talking to a girl at a bar or meeting up and going on a date and you're like "i'm a video game player."?
NICK: *sighs* Oh boy. I got a wife y'know.
Big Cat: Okay, so you did that! You had sex! 
NICK: Yeah, yeah congrats. 
Big Cat: Way to go NickMercs.
NICK: GG baby, we win. Dude it was tough man, no matter how you cut it, if you're talking to anyone who doesn't know shit about gaming and you tell them you're a gamer? Dude, ah it's just not a good vibe bro. Cause you just say gamer they think you're a little nerd loser or you could say that you're a livestreamer but then they think you're doin' fuckin' porn or somethin'.
Big Cat: Yup, yup.
PFT: Camsoda.
NICK: Camboy or something so. No matter what you do, you talk to an older guy, "i'm a streamer on Twitch", "wait wait wait, so people just like watch you play games?", nonstop. Then they go "well i gotta start gaming" and I go "yeah maybe you should!"
Big Cat: We deal with the same thing, there's no cool way to say "i'm a podcaster", when you say it people are just like "oh everyone's got a podcast now", well it's actually our job!
NICK: I should actually run  a podcast, me and Larry talk about shit all day in the bar man, this shit would be huge.
Big Cat: *laughing* Yeah, right exactly.  



PFT: Lets say you're at a wedding and you get sat at a table with some older people but people you wanna get along well with, you wanna make a good impression on 'em, they ask you what you do, what's your line?
NICK: *murmuring no, no, no* See you're buggin', see I stopped giving a fuck a long time ago bro.



PFT: That's sick, that's liberating.
Big Cat: *laughing* 
NICK: No, I don't give a fuck anymore. Is that weird?
Big Cat: No!



PFT: No, that's good! 
NICK: I'm not sitting at a table, I don't give a fuck what they think, I don't care, I don't wanna explain it, I don't wanna talk to you about it. I just wanna lay in bed with my dog and my cat and my girl, I wanna stay outside by the pool, I wanna play my games and I want everybody to leave me the fuck alone. That's where i'm at.
Big Cat: I like that.
NICK: I've had so many of those conversations that i've realized it's a waste of energy, you're not gonna get anywhere. 
Big Cat: When did you hit that point?
NICK: Dude, years ago man. Spend a little time in LA, LA kinda rough. 
Big Cat: Yeah, you moved out to LA, you tried out that area.
NICK: It's a lot of people actin' like they give a shit but really they're just tryna work an angle. I don't know about LA man, LA a little fast paced for me. 



PFT: Yeah, somebody is always looking for a handout. Like someone, if you can't do anything to advance their career then they're like "okay, i'm gonna move on and talk to somebody else".
NICK: So I had a lot of those conversations, cause i'm this new guy and so i'm tryna talk to the neighbors, you know just normal conversations. I used to enjoy talking to people a lot more than I do now, I mean seriously. It always gets to the whole NickMercs thing, and then it just turns into "oh shit, man I got this company bro. Dude we put like reverse osmosis filters and we can maybe put one on you stream?" and i'm like "yeah I don't know if you know how that shit works man but. Yeah, lets sell a reverse osmosis filter to the fuckin' kid in college", like no. Shit's crazy bro. 
Big Cat: Have you had a moment where you thought like, how long can you game for? This is fascinating to me because gamers right now, you're first generation kind of gamers in terms of you just talked Justin.tv to Twitch, you guys are the guinea pigs in a lot of ways of the first generation of making a real true living and at what point will you have to hang up the sticks? Have you thought about that at all? Not to be depressing but it's just interesting to me.
NICK: No no, yeah! No I haven't thought about it too much, I guess maybe if I was more like a TimTheTatman or DrDisrespect or some shit and I was getting on Twitch everyday and just getting my ass kicked, then maybe it'd be time for me to hang it up or somethin'. 
Big Cat: But that hasn't happened yet.



PFT: You're still murking people.
NICK: No i'm beating ass bro! As long as i'm beating ass i'm fine but if I start getting on everyday and i'm getting throttled, i'm gonna take a look in the mirror man and say "hey, maybe we start doin' some business or somethin', cause this is a little crazy". 



PFT: How dumb does the NCAA feel, not getting ahead of this and not establishing college ESports before people realized that they could make a shitload of money doing it on their own?
NICK: The NCAA's a tricky conversation, there's a lot going on there. We're at this weird point in time with college athletes where there's talks about them getting paid and all this, it's just weird man. NCAA's just always been hard to do anything with, i've come to understand. Anything!
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah, like bring out a new game. 
NICK: No, like anything! It's wildly hard in the NCAA, the NFL's real different with that. It's just the NCAA no matter what, I think we've tried to do a few things with those guys and it's just, nah. 



PFT: Well, they gotta always make sure they're getting their cut.
Big Cat: Yes!





PFT: That's rule #1 for the NCAA. That's why they exist.
NICK: Yeah that's why they exist. Of course. 
[Catchy Jingle transition music]



PFT: We're gonna get back to NickMercs in a second but before we do, I wanna talk about a brand new sponsor. New sponsor alert Hank!
Hank: *imitating alarm* mew mew me, oh wait no, that's new segment alert.



PFT: Nope, that's new segment! 
Hank: *begins beatboxing* 



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[Catchy Jingle transition music]
Big Cat: How quickly, if I just gave you a video game that you've never played before, how quickly could you beat our ass in it?
NICK: Oh dude that's what i'm good at, it's the only thing i'm good at in this world.  
Big Cat: *laughing* So do you play Madden at all? Or no?
NICK: Well I used to, I went to the Madden Challenge in Chicago when I was like 15 actually. 





PFT: So yeah. 
Big Cat: You'd kick our ass.
NICK: I made it to the top 8 or top 16, the final 4 went on that bus. You guys remember that? They put 'em on a bus.
Big Cat: Yes. 
NICK: You sure you remember that?
Big Cat: Yes, I remember the bus.
NICK: That kinda felt like a "yes" just to-
Big Cat: No no no.



PFT: It was on ESPN2 or something 
Big Cat: It was a big deal! Yeah.
NICK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Madden Bus, I almost fuckin' made it on when I was 15. I stayed in a hostel in Chicago just to wake up the next day and almost make it, almost made it.
Big Cat: And your dad was actually proud of you that moment.
NICK: No shot, mad that I wasn't home.







PFT: It's kind of football! 
Big Cat: Yeah, it's football adjacent! *laughing*
NICK: No shot.








PFT: Is there a game that you've picked up that you've just been like "I suck at this one, i'm never playing this one again"? 
NICK: Any game that's not a shooter, i'm just not into 'em, if it's got a gun in it i'm there, oh man i'm there.








PFT: Are you a good shooter in real life?
NICK: Yeah, great! I went to the Navy, everybody who's been in the military for a while is gonna laugh at this but I got my expert pin in the pew pew. 
Big Cat: Really!? 
NICK: Hey bro, I was one of like 8 kids in my 200 person class who got an expert pin! Then when I started shooting big guns, yeah i'm a pretty straight shot bro.
Big Cat: Damn! That actually makes me feel better, it's like just a natural thing. That's a part of video games that I think people can't really understand is, there is natural talent just like sports.
NICK: For sure!
Big Cat: Where I can play video games for the next straight 1000 hours, if I could figure out a potion to not sleep, and I still would get my ass kicked by you because you're naturally just better, you know what I mean? People think video games are just whoever plays the most!
NICK: *laughing* Yeah, nah well it's a blend, it's a blend. Like sports.
Big Cat: Right but that's kinda like sports. Yeah, like sports.
NICK: Right, you get some of these freakily genetic LeBron James type dudes who are just wild and it's like "holy shit" but then when that meets preparation and time everything you put into it, it's like "holy shit.". Same thing with gaming.
Big Cat: Yes!








PFT: Where do you fall on the big rivalry between Billy Mitchell and Steve Wiebe, the "King of Kongs: Fist Full of Quarters"?
NICK: I have no idea what you're talking about right now.
Big Cat: Oh you gotta watched it.








PFT: Billy Mitchell, the GOAT.  The Gamer of all time.
Big Cat: We're lookin like losers right now PFT. We're looking like losers PFT.







PFT: The first person to get 1,000,000 points in Donkey Kong.
NICK: Ah damn, it's Donkey Kong though bro. 
Big Cat: Shit we just lost.








PFT: We're sounding old. 
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah. 
NICK: I'm more like a Golden Eye, y'know? 
Big Cat: Yeah, did you used to play the last Call of Duty? The WW2?
NICK: Yeah, for like a week and then I was depressed, I got fuckin' depressed.
Big Cat: I just ran around with a shotgun and got killed like 40 times but I got like 15 kills.
NICK: Did you like the game? 
Big Cat: Uhh, yeah I liked the game. I like history.
NICK: *exhales deeply* 
Big Cat: No?
NICK: *exhales* I felt like I was there! 
Big Cat: *laughing* Yeah, I mean there are some intense moments, yeah.
NICK: Let me ask you somethin', when you're playing WW2 Call of Duty and you're playing it for 8, 9, 10 hours a day like a lot of these kids were, and you're literally in a fuckin' trench with the old grenades *old man yelling sounds*, for 10 hours a day. When you're done, it's not like your mind just walks out of the trench!
Big Cat: Yes, I think the part that always kind of not creeped me out but fucked me up a little when I was playing that game was when you'd hear a Nazi yell and then a dog attack you and you'd be like "woah, this is a little too spot on". 
NICK: That's what i'm saying! I mean I don't know, I wasn't there but let me tell ya, I was fucking depressed playing that game. Then I moved over to Fortnite and it's green and there's butterflies and a mountain with a cabin and i'm fuckin' happy again.
Big Cat: Yeah.







PFT: Yeah. So when you first started getting into Fortnite you obviously made some noise and made a name for yourself, but would you of considered yourself one of the best Fortnite players in the world?
NICK: In the very beginning, yeah. So what people do on battle royale games is they go for kill records, so it's a duo playlist or a trio playlist, me and my two buddies in trios are gonna try to get the most kills any trio's ever gotten in the game and those videos usually do really well on YouTube, it brings a lot of awareness to whoever gets it, there's a lot of eyeballs on that. So what we did, is we got the duo kill record and the squads kill record in Fortnite really really early. So yeah, think about it, all the people in the world playing the game and I have the duos and the squads kill records. 
Big Cat: Mhmm.
NICK: I mean, that's gotta say somethin'. It can't just be luck at that point.
Big Cat: Yes, that's definitely something! Who's the guy that you can't beat?
NICK: Like a- 
Big Cat: Or who's the guy when you're playing against him you know, "he is on my level"?
NICK: Me and this guy Aiden. Do you guys know Aiden?








PFT: Hank knows him.
Big Cat: Hank knows him! 
Hank: Smitty, he's come to the office. 
NICK: The guy under me know's him? Well me and Aiden have battled a shit ton bro and that kid can play anything. He's really good at Call of Duty, he's really good at Fortnite, and every time we link up and play against each other it's a fuckin' mission to mission.
Big Cat: Okay, that must be exciting.








PFT: Would you rather be-
NICK: I'm U of M and he's Ohio State.
Big Cat: Well then, so you lose every time!
NICK: Well, okay as of recently but there was a time when I was beatin' ass!
Big Cat: *hearty chuckles* Oh yeah like when-








PFT: When Brady Hoke was around!
Big Cat: When you were playing on Atari, right?
NICK: *laughing* Brady Hoke, fuck me. Yeah, right. 
Big Cat: By the way, we're actually friends with coach Harbaugh so we have his back but as a Michigan guy, do you have him on the hot seat or are you calling?
NICK: I mean i'm not a friend with coach Harbaugh.
Big Cat: Okay, but we are!
NICK: Well I don't wanna shit on your friends.
Big Cat: Right.








PFT: Shit away, we'll just defend him.
Big Cat: Yeah, go ahead.








PFT: Here's what you're gonna experience, is right now- 
NICK: No no, I don't, no listen. 
Big Cat: Who can you do better!? You can't do any better!
NICK: I have perspective, I have perspective! My dad was a college football coach in that locker room 
Big Cat: For who? Lloyd Carr?
NICK: Bo Shembeckler and Gary.
Big Cat: Okay.
NICK: Listen, listen man. A lot of these are his opinions but i've listened and i've watched and i've applied what he's said to me when i'm watching and when i'm there and i've been there and i've met some of these players. Chase [Winovich], and all these guys, dude the energy is just not there, it's not the same. 
Big Cat: Yeah.. 
NICK: It's a different energy, you got coaches from that locker room leavin' there and going to coach at Ohio State!
Big Cat: I know..
NICK: Back in the day, that would of never fuckin' happened! It's the worst thing! It's like betrayal. So that obviously tells me-
Big Cat: It's like going from FaZe to 100 Thieves!
NICK: Ah come on! 
Big Cat: *laughing mightly*
NICK: It's different man, it's a rivalry! 100 year rivalry man, there's just so much that went into that. They used to say they'd rather lose every fuckin' game and then they'd win in November and they'd be happy with that.
Big Cat: Right.
NICK: I think that's all out the fucking window now, they don't care about that shit no more. 








PFT: Were you one of those guys who back in 2017, when they had that spot in the big game, were you like dissecting in by camera angle to see if he got the first down or not?
NICK: I mean I thought he got a first down.
Big Cat: Hmm.








PFT: I think a lot of people did. I would actually put myself in that camp as well. 
NICK: I'm not the dude who's like "*whiny voice* dude we should be beating them but the refs", nah i'm not that guy. We are getting beat, we're getting beat. We're getting beat because they have better players, they have better coaches and they have a fuckin' attitude that you can not compare with right now. 
Big Cat: They care more. 
NICK: They beat our ass, it's like Remember the Titans when the coach disrespected the other coach, that's what this is! That's what it is! It's the same vibe, they're like "yo fuck you bro".








PFT: Mhm.
Big Cat: Yeah.
NICK: That's what it's gotta be, it's gotta be some of that. We need some of that again.








PFT: I heard you care a lot about another huge rivalry out there in the animal kingdom, which is Grizzly Bear vs Gorilla.
NICK: Ah shit, don't get me goin'.
Big Cat: Billy Football is...did you suss that Billy?








PFT: I think from what I know, you say it's Grizzly Bear and I would agree. Unless the Gorilla's in an environment where he can learn to make weapons. 
NICK: Bro what!?








PFT: I'm saying like if you have a Gorilla and a Grizzly Bear going head to head and the Gorilla's got like some weapon he can pick up.
NICK: No, I heard what you said. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around it. You're telling me the Gorilla's gonna be in an environment where he can make a weapon? You wanna show me a video on the internet that's not from fuckin' King Kong or Planet of the Apes where a Gorilla's makin' a fuckin' weapon!?









PFT: I mean he can pick up a shovel.
Big Cat: Yeah!







PFT: Or like eat a banana and leave it on the ground, the Grizzly Bear slips.
Big Cat: Pick up a gun, who would figure out how to shoot a gun first, a Gorilla or a Grizzly Bear?
NICK: A Gorilla!
Big Cat: Right! So we rest our case.








PFT: Mhm.
NICK: But where's he gonna fuckin' aim it!?
Big Cat: I'm gonna leave the gun next to him before the fight! 
NICK: This is crazy.








PFT: One in the chamber. 
Big Cat: *laughing*
NICK: See you guys are the guys in the chat.








PFT: We've become the chat. Well how bout this.
NICK: This is the Gorilla guys.
Big Cat: *chuckle*








PFT: Who would win in Call of Duty, a Gorilla or a Grizzly Bear? I think a Gorilla would beat the Grizzly Bear's ass.
Big Cat: Easily, opposable thumb!








PFT: Boom!
NICK: *laughing* Probably playing on a controller too.
Big Cat: Yeah!








PFT: Yeah. 
Big Cat: Billy, go ahead. Billy, our intern who's an idiot, is gonna talk real quick.
BILLY: Well I researched this very intensely and a Gorilla can only get up to 300 or 400 pounds where as a Grizzly Bear can get up to 1500 pounds depending on the subspecies.
NICK: Not true.
BILLY: But-
NICK: That's not true.
BILLY: But-










PFT: It's not true Billy, he just said you're factually incorrect. Why is that incorrect?
BILLY: Which one? About the Gorilla? 
NICK: I like where you're goin', I like where you're goin'. I hate to interrupt you because you sound like you were firey right there, you sounded like you were comin' in with a crazy fact but  just so you know, the biggest Gorillas can get like 500, 600 pounds bro.







PFT: He said 500 or 600 pounds 
NICK: I like where you're goin' just don't undersell.
BILLY: The average of the biggest Grizzly Bears can weigh 2000 pounds. 
NICK: Okay, yeah but we're not gonna bring fuckin' me to the fight to represent all humans. We're goin and getting Jon Jones. What the fuck? Get the big boy! So get the big Gorilla and get the big fuckin' Bear and put 'em in there. Big Gorilla's 500-
Big Cat: 500!
NICK: And the Kodiak Bear can get up to 2000 pounds.
Big Cat: 500 vs 2000. 
NICK: Okay, so 4 fuckin' times its size. Go ahead, continue what you were saying, sorry.
BILLY: The only way the Gorilla can win is using its opposable thumbs which are very important if it's not in an enclosed area with no weapons and it's mind. So those are it's only assets against the Bear's claws and teeth.
NICK: Okay, opposable thumbs.








PFT: Is it gonna like confuse it with a riddle or something?
NICK: I'll give you that one 
BILLY: Well exactly, it could just bait and switch the Bear!
NICK: Why is the mind an asset? 
Big Cat: Why is the mind an asset Billy? 
BILLY: The mind's an asset-
NICK: Are you implying that Gorilla's are smarter than Bears?  
BILLY: Say we're in the coliseum, we're sick like the Romans and we're like "okay lets actually do this. Let's get a giant Bear and a giant Gorilla". Okay coliseum, sand and walls, that's all it's got. The Gorilla throws the sand in it's face, jumps on the wall, grab a weapon and then kill the Bear!
Big Cat: *laughing at the absurdity of said words* Wowww! 
NICK: The Gorilla turned into fuckin' Brad Pitt!
BILLY: I can't hear him!
Big Cat: *laughing at his devious ways* 
BILLY: They don't give me headphones.
NICK: This is not how they fight! Can you hear me!?! This is not how they fight!
Big Cat: No, he can't hear you. We don't let him listen, we let him talk but not listen.
NICK: Well he's not allowed to talk anymore man.








PFT: Billy's actually talkin' me into the Gorilla more and more. The sand in the face is a wild card I hadn't thought of.
BILLY: Guess, what's the top predator on planet Earth?
NICK: Not a Gorilla! 
Big Cat: Human beings!
*voice in the background says humans*
BILLY: Humans! So guess who's closer to a human?
Big Cat: Gorilla.
NICK: Oh come on man. 
Big Cat: That's true!







PFT: Very compelling.
Big Cat: Yes. Alright, Nick I had a couple last questions. What's F's in the chat mean?
NICK: Ah, to pay respect!
Big Cat: What!? 
NICK: Dude, i'm not the computer guy. I'm not the like, you know?
Big Cat: So explain some of these other lingos. What some other things that are said?
NICK: Ah shit.
Big Cat: I gotta, come on man!
NICK: I'm the worst person for this. 
Big Cat: This is my one chance!
NICK: This is like a TimTheTatman question. 
Big Cat: No, this is my one chance!
NICK: Alright, F is to pay respect so when you make a horrible play or you die or you say something stupid, they all say F. 
Big Cat: Okay.
NICK: Like "oh my god, pay respects for this dead man.".
Big Cat: Okay. Okay, anything else? Cause like I said, i've never felt so old! 
NICK: Dude we don't do this in my chat. Like they do it but I don't even pay attention.
Big Cat: So you just don't listen to the people that say that?
NICK: We don't really do it as much.
Big Cat: Oh right, you're cooler than us.
NICK: Like some chats are really memey man, they're really memey. I'm kind of like an old dad too, i'm with you. You and me are the same kind of.
Big Cat: Okay, now do you have specific haters that you call out, like guys that you recognize and you just know a little bit of respect?
NICK: No, no. We just ban and block 'em. Don't even look at 'em.
Big Cat: Okay, cause I got this guy named PoopyStinks that just won't leave me alone.
NICK: Yeah, just ban him and block him. Gone!
Big Cat: But, I kinda like, I want to have 
NICK: Well have some fun with it. Yeah, fuck 'em up! 
Big Cat: Okay. Alright i'm gonna fuck him up.
NICK: The problem is, my haters don't have a face. They have the anime profile with the pink hair and the cartoon titties, you know? 
Big Cat: *laughing* Yeah. Alright we gotta ban and block. So you do ban and block, that's not a shame?
NICK: Well i'm not gonna waste time with a fuckin' cartoon titty.
Big Cat: I know but there's a shame in blocking on Twitter, like "oh I got you! I got him triggered!", you're saying that doesn't exist in Twitch?
NICK: Not for me!
Big Cat: Okay, hell yes.
NICK: Dude I block everybody on Twitter. 
Big Cat: Okay, nice. Nice!







PFT: What's the easiest surefire way to get a quick block from you on Twitch?
NICK: On Twitch?








PFT: Yeah.
Big Cat: You shouldn't answer this.
NICK: Ah dude, yeah I probably shouldn't *laughs*
Big Cat: *laughing* 








PFT: What's the magic word? 
Big Cat: What really makes you mad NickMercs!?!?








PFT: Yeah, what gets a rise out of you?
NICK: Dude to be honest, the majority of the time that we ban people we ban 'em for self advertisement or being scum, just saying words that you shouldn't be saying, you know the words.
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah. Right. Alright so Nick, we're gonna announce this during the Championship game tonight. During the National Championship game, so i'm playing Tennessee vs Miami at 9:17 PM.
NICK: Okay.
Big Cat: We're gonna announce that you're on, also by the way shoutout you because we tried to get Ninja on for a while and he didn't come on. So we're down to kick his ass like you kicked his ass. 
NICK: I got him! No I didn't get him, I didn't get him. 
Big Cat: But you said you were gonna kick his ass. 
NICK: I tried. 
Big Cat: You took the video game to real life, that's kinda badass. 
NICK: Well dude I was boxing at the time, so I was like fuckin' fiesty.
Big Cat: *laughing*
NICK: I was like the kid from the suburbs who goes to the ghetto and thinks he's cool and shit. I had like 10 amateur boxing fights, all against kids who were white and from the suburbs and I thought I was so fuckin' good, I had my $100 headgear and shit. But I was really ready at that point and he was talkin' shit to me, by the way we're friends now.
Big Cat: Yeah, yea, yeah.
NICK: I think he's a nutcase, he probably thinks i'm a nutcase too but we're friends. But man he was runnin' his mouth this one night just saying everything, yelling at me. I kept telling him man, "dude, i'm gonna see you in a month and there's no way you're gonna have this same energy!", and he fuckin', he didn't.








PFT: Turtled up a little bit?
Big Cat: I love it. Love it.
NICK: Lotta bit.








PFT and Big Cat: *in unison* Yeah. 
NICK: I was ready.
Big Cat: Alright, I had one last question. We always take a question from the users, so this isn't us asking, people asked this. How much money did you make after taxes?
NICK: *laughing* Not enough! 
Big Cat: Mmm. 








PFT: That's a good answer.
NICK: Final answer.
Big Cat: So like a million 2 million? Whats the?
NICK: Ahhhh. You know...
Big Cat: A lot, a little? How many cars?
NICK: All my managers keep saying "don't be answering this.".
Big Cat: What type of car do you drive? 
NICK: A Shelby Raptor. 
Big Cat: Okay..That narrows it down a little.









PFT: That's like 100 virgils.
Big Cat: Yeah that narrows it down...
NICK: That's a lot of pennies!







PFT: Yeah. 
Big Cat: You're not drivin' a Honda Civic.
NICK: Bro we're doin' well! We're doin' well. But you know what man, not to get all sappy and weird on you guys man but it's only because of all these lunatics that fuckin' support me. Like I fuckin' turn on my stream, I get 100 donations a night, I get 2000 people to sub to me a night and I never ask for it, I never even told 'em to do it. They just do it, so shoutout to all them and everybody that supports me bro, it's crazy. 
Big Cat: Like I said, you do give back. You do some great stuff with your community.
NICK: For sure, for sure. 
Big Cat: Which I love that aspect because I think that's the fun part about Twitch. At least from what i've found in the 2 months that i've done it, that it's fun to go back and forth, it's fun to talk shit but at the end of the day it's like this is all for fun. And there's that little underlying understanding between the chat and the person that like this is for fun, we're having fun and I really enjoy that. 
NICK: Nah, I like what you said, I like that. The fun thing is important but to kind of like piggy back off that, it's like well what the fuck are we here for right?
Big Cat: Right, right. 








PFT: You gotta have fun. 
NICK: I don't wanna get too deep but the older you get the more you realize that you're here today, gone tomorrow. It's quick-
Big Cat: Well!
NICK: You wanna make it all about fun and you wanna do the best you can with the time that you have. That's all i'm tryna do man, i'm in a great spot to take care of my whole family but also a lot of people that have taken care of me, so, i'm gonna keep doin' that.
Big Cat: You probably will live forever because you don't leave your house, you fuckin' sit in a dark room every night.
NICK: Lowkey!
Big Cat: Yeah. So you're good.








PFT: Wait, do you have-
Big Cat: *laughing*
NICK: Nah nah, do you know how unhealthy it is to stay up all night? I'm gonna die when i'm 50 bro. All those energy drinks and shit.
PFT: Do you rock a heart rate monitor or somethin'? To see how much cardio you're getting in while you play video games?
NICK: Nah, nah. I've seen people do that before though. Do you guys ever do one on the podcast? A heart rate monitor?
Big Cat: No! We should.








PFT: Some time, we've talked about it.
NICK: You should do it for like 20 podcasts straight and see who gets you guys goin'!
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah. 











PFT: That's a good idea.
Big Cat: Yeah. I like that.
NICK: Well, it's an idea. I don't know if it's a good one.








PFT: No, it's not bad. Anything that you can do-
NICK: Cause you're gonna piss off 19 people but then the 20th person you're gonna be like "dude you really got us goin'". You know? 








PFT: Yeah, i'm always wondering like is there somebody coming up in video games that's gonna turn it into something not fun? Like somebody that breaks it down too much and almost gets into like the sabermetric side of the equation where they're overanalyzing everything too much, kinda like they do sometimes with baseball and to a certain extent football?
NICK: Yeah, totally. Just like anything great there's always some fuckin' asshole who wants to come over and just pull it away from everything that it is. So I would imagine yes, but you know what? If and when that day comes, your boy over here's gonna be on his own little island not worried about shit. I'm not dealing with that motherfucker, i'm not speaking to him, I don't give a shit, I don't care. Out of sight, out of mind, imma do my thing. 
Big Cat: Yeah.








PFT: Would you rather have twice as many viewers on your Twitch stream as someone or have them be twice as good as you?
NICK: Oh shit. Oh fuck. Now? Probably twice as many viewers but before when I was a little kid and hungry and shit, probably just twice as good. 
Big Cat: Yeah.








PFT: Perspective!
Big Cat: Alright, well this has been an awesome.
NICK: Perspective baby.
Big Cat: Perspective, this has been a ton of fun.
NICK: Hey so I didn't know how this was gonna go but it went great for me. I'm super comfortable and i've never done a podcast before!
Big Cat: I know, you were weirdly nervous, we were always-
NICK: I wasn't nervous, it's just there's a lot goin' on right now man! Like I didn't know what the fuck we'd talk about today. And there's all kinds of these motherfuckers in the gaming scene who have all kinds of things to say about shit they know nothing about, it's just relentless. It's like just shut the fuck up man. So I didn't know if I was gonna come on this podcast, and I didn't know what the hell we were gonna be talking about today. 








PFT: Well now we've got your back!
NICK: If it's just us 3 and we're shooting the shit, i'm always down to come on the podcast you guys.
Big Cat: Love it, love it!








PFT: We've got you back. Yeah, we're NickMercs stans right now. Do you have a name for your fanbase? Are they called like the Mercs?
NICK: The community is called MFam, so Mercs just the M and then fam. 








PFT: MFam. 
NICK: I didn't know what to make it. It was like fuckin' 8 years ago so...
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah. I like that, except for the whole like Michigan thing and you guys never win any big game, but that's fine.
NICK: I know. What's up with you? Who are you fans of?
Big Cat: I went to Wisconsin and Wisconsin and Michigan are the same school now, in terms of football and you guys won't admit it.
NICK: I mean not really.  
Big Cat: Yeah! I mean actually, you're right we've been to Indianapolis, you guys never have. 
NICK: Yeah, cause you don't fuckin' play anybody over there.
Big Cat: *laughing* 
NICK: It's an easier ride and you know it!
Big Cat: Okay, okay. I'm just sayin'.








PFT: Wait, why's your logo a spartan if you're a University of Michigan fan?
NICK: I get that one all the time I know. Well see i'm a direct descendant of the king from Sparta, so i'm Greek-
Big Cat: Actually!?
NICK: Yeah!  Leonidas is like my great, great, great grandfather. 
Big Cat: Hmm, wait that doesn't. That's way too.








PFT: Are you sure? Great great great 
NICK: Like 10, 10 grandpa's ago. 
Big Cat: 10 grandpa's. Okay.








PFT: I'm tryna remember the 300. Did he die in the 300? 
NICK: He fuckin' died man, they got his ass. But we got-








PFT: He got murked. 
NICK: -'em back though. 








PFT: Yeah. 
NICK: Yeah but we got 'em back though. 
Big Cat: Okay...
NICK: And he's a legend, you know? Fuck, who gives a shit if you die? You're a legend now.
Big Cat: A legend for life, legend for life. This has been awesome man, you are a recurring guest, you have to come back on whenever we ask, I hope you know that.
NICK: Dude i'm so down!
Big Cat: Alright.
NICK: So down. 
Big Cat: Perfect. We'll be announcing it during the National Championship tonight. 
NICK: On the stream tonight?
Big Cat: Yeah yeah, yeah. We'll say that you're on.
NICK: After you announce it, do you push it on everything? Twitter and Instagram?
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah, we'll push it on everything but we'll tell everyone that you're the guest tomorrow. It's lined up perfectly because the National Championship stream, especially if i'm losing, will be over 100K. 








PFT: Do you have any words of advice for him going into this game? What can he do to make sure he's in a good mindset ahead of the biggest game of his life?
Hank: He crumbled under pressure last game, like absolutely-
Big Cat: I fuckin' crumbled
Hank: What do you do in the biggest moments to focus?
NICK: I heard 
Big Cat: The people got to me.
NICK: I'm watchin' tonight, i'm watchin'.
Big Cat: Alright, the people got to me though. That's the problem. 
NICK: Clearing my schedule and i'm gonna watch it.
Big Cat: 9:17 PM
NICK: Feel like my energy with your energy, I think I don't know. I think today's a good day, it's energy man! Just get it fuckin' done!!
Big Cat: Alright, lets go. Lets go!! I love it.
NICK: By the way guys, guys congrats on everything man.
Big Cat: Thank you.
NICK: Makin' a podcast and getting out from that jungle of competition, man it's gotta be so hard. So GG's and good shit. 
Big Cat: Same to you.
NICK: Absolutely man
Big Cat: Yeah, yeah. Alright, 'preciate it Nick. We'll talk soon man. 
NICK: Take care guys, 'preciate it. 








PFT: See ya buddy.
[Futuristic transition music]








PFT: That interview was brought to you by our great friends over at Indochino. It's been a while since we've been doing business with Indochino, I think the started advertising on Pardon My Take back in 2016, they are an OG sponsor of Pardon My Take. And they will hook you guys up for having awesome clothes that fit your body the way that you can never expect to get a suit off the rack. There's all these different things that happen during the summertime that you need suits for, if it's a wedding, if it's a graduation, if it's whatever, birthday party, whatever you wanna do. If you want to look good, don't get a suit off the rack, instead get one from Indochino. If you try to buy one from just the department store, you're gonna wish the sleeves were a little bit longer, you're gonna wish it was more shmedium than it was medium. There are all sorts of things that can go wrong if you're getting a suit or any sort of clothes from a department store. Instead, Indochino started on the belief that custom clothing should not cost a fortune and they have a virtual style consultation, where you can shop online, you don't have to visit a showroom. You measure yourself, send them your measurements and they're going to make a made to measure suit that fits you the way that you could never get one from a department store or with any other off the rack clothing company. With Indochino its made to measure clothing at a fair price, they've got suits, blazers, shirts and coats. You can customize everything, from the fabric to the lining, the lapel shape, the monogram, the choice is gonna be all yours. Your clothing is then made to your exact measurements so it fits you perfectly and the best part is, they start at just $299, all customizations included. Indochino has showrooms across North America, or you can book a virtual appointment and shop online at Indochino.com, that's i-n-d-o-c-h-i-n-o dot com and we're gonna give you an extra $30 off any purchase of $399 or more at Indochino.com when you enter the code PMT at checkout. That's Indochino.com, promo code PMT. I still have the suit that they sent me from that first spring of doing Pardon My Take, it is my go to special occasion suit.
Big Cat: Hell yes.








PFT: It's a quality product, you guys are gonna love it. Indochino.com, promo code PMT.
Big Cat: Okay. Lets finish up our show, we have our documentary review. Next week by the way we have Rob Lowe coming on Monday, huge interview, great recurring guest. Then, just a reminder, the following week we're gonna be doing a little best of/huge DnD on the Wednesday before July 4th and then July 6th will be the Takies, so get ready for that. Okay, documentary review, 3 Identical Strangers. Whoo boy, was this one a good one. 








PFT: I loved the first hour of this documentary-
Big Cat: Oh then it gets sad!











PFT: and then it gets really sad. The first hour though, so I thought it was just gonna be an hour and a half of 3 bro's just meeting each other and having horseplay.
Big Cat: Just the fact that from the beginning, the idea that this guy Bobby Shafran goes to college and everyone thinks that he's another person is such a fucking mindfuck and of course this probably wouldn't happen in today's day because of social media and stuff but could you imagine walking into a room and having everyone tell you you're a different person? I would go insane! You'd go insane, you'd lose your mind!
PFT: It's a great prank to play on somebody.
Big Cat: It's a great prank to play and it also makes me think, these guys all lived in Long Island, in the surrounding area, I think one of 'em lived in Westchester maybe, 
BILLY: On the island.
Big Cat: There was a chance if he doesn't go to this college, this specific college, both of them don't go to this specific college, that just never would of met! And that's fucking crazy!

PFT: Mhm. You would think the adoption agency would of taken that into account and been like "hey maybe we should adopt these babies to different states." 
Big Cat: Right.  

PFT: Or spread them out a little bit. 
Hank: No but they needed to do the study.
Big Cat: They needed to keep the study. 

PFT: Well spend an extra $50 on gas each month.
Big Cat: So the start of it's fun, they find each other, they find the 3rd. The scenes where they're basically like "yeah we all live together and we just go out and fuck!", that was pretty cool.

PFT: They were living the dream.
Big Cat: And their apartment-

PFT: In New York City, in the 80's at Studio 54.
Big Cat: Minor celebrities, 
Hank: Studio 54 sounds like the greatest place of all time.
Big Cat: Ever, ever.
Hank: I'm sure if we went there it wouldn't be that fun but.
Big Cat: Write that down, we need to interview someone who was there during the hayday.

PFT: Uh huh. 
Big Cat: Yes.

PFT: Why don't we just open a bar called Studio 54? 
Big Cat: That works too, but we need to interview someone who's like "I partied at Studio 54 on the reg in the hayday.".

PFT: That's such a classic 30 year old bro move to just team up with your best friends and be like "we're gonna open up our own bar cause we like to party so much".
Big Cat: Right.  

PFT: "So why don't we just reinvest that and do it ourselves?"
Hank: And they were so famous, they were literally like-

PFT: It worked out for them because they had the ultimate gimmick going which was triplets who like to get after it and fuck. 
Big Cat: Right. And then-, what do you got Billy, speak.
BILLY: Do you think they were in a 4-way?
Big Cat: Yes.

PFT: Absolutely. 
Big Cat: 100%..

PFT: Yeah. That might of been the first thing that they did. Did you see when they got interviewed right after? Actually no, the first thing they did, they get in the same room and they immediately just start wrestling.
Big Cat: Yes!

PFT: Which is awesome, that's probably what I would do too, but then they went out that night and they definitely looked at each other with like a knowing glance and a giggle and they're like "yeah we're gonna have a foursome, it's gonna happen.".
Big Cat: Yeah, so you're right PFT, the beginning of the documentary was like "oh this is fun! this is cool! these guys find each other" and then it gets so fucking dark because they find out the details of the adoption, the fact that they were a human study. Weird shit with the fact that one of 'em gets adopted by a poor, middle class and wealthy family and what happens with them and then finding out that their biological mother has all kinds of mental issues that have been obviously passed down to them. It's fuckin' crazy man. 

PFT: Mhmm.
Big Cat: This whole story is crazy.
Hank: The lady that was the assistant at the doctors office, she was delightful.
Big Cat: Yes, yes, yes. But *exhales deeply*
Hank: It's one of those things where I don't know if you guys watch The Americans but the 60's and the early powerhouses before technology like these big rich social things in New York City are just the craziest things in the world. 

PFT: What part of The Americans are you talking about? When they 69 each other sideways? Is that what you're talking about?
Hank: No, Al Pacino's character in The Americans, he would go-

PFT: You're talking about Hunters.
Hank: Hunters! 
Big Cat: Hunters.
Hank: Holy shit my bad. 

PFT: Got it.
Big Cat: Yeah..
Hank: I'm talking about Hunters, 

PFT: I'm with you, i'm with you now.
Hank: You know the lady in Hunters? The adoption lady? That's who I was thinking of when they explained this Jewish adoption agency.

PFT: Yeah it was fucked up. I can't imagine what it would do to your brain if you had 2 identical brothers, you become their best friend after not knowing them for what, 19-20 years? And then 1 of them slowly goes crazy and kills himself, like you're definitely thinking in your head "whatever was in his brain, is definitely in my brain too, am I a ticking time bomb at this point?".
Big Cat: Correct, correct. It also wasn't funny but it is kind of, slightly amusing that I feel like most stories that take a turn start with the sentence "and then we opened a bar together". It's like "and then we opened a bar together" and then everything in our life as friends, as brothers went downhill. If you wanna hate your best friend open a bar with them. If you wanna hate your brother open a bar with them. 

PFT: Yeah Billy?
BILLY: I think the reason they didn't open up the study and everything is I think they realized by tearing triplets and twins apart actually made them crazy because remember when they said they had seperation anxiety
Big Cat: Yes, yes!
BILLY: I think that's what they found out, and they're like "oh, the only thing we found out is no, there's not nature/nurture, like you tear apart 2 twins they get fucked up from it." I think that's what they discovered.
Big Cat: Yeah, right. It was so sad.

PFT: The experiment was actually a very sad thing to approve. Could you imagine sitting down and having this conversation amongst, I would imagine they're all fellow scientists, and being like "hey, you know, we've got these 3 babies, it would be a real crime against science to not split them up" and then having everybody vote yes for it! Like that's so fucked up.
Big Cat: Right. It's so fucked up and I would think-
Hank: And they haven't published the results!
Big Cat: And yeah, they haven't published the results.

PFT: Yeah, you know what the result of the study is? People that run these type of studies are assholes.
Big Cat: Yes! Yes, they're playing with human lives.


PFT: Yes. That was the hypothesis going into it and they confirmed it.
Big Cat: Yeah.
Hank: But they had the money and power to cover it up. 
Big Cat: And you guys probably all had the same feeling watching this where you're like and they say it at the end like "what if you just bump into your twin? What's stopping anyone from having a twin that they don't know about". 
Hank: If I was adopted i'd think it a lot more.
Big Cat: Yeah. Of course, but i'm just saying.

PFT: Yeah, absolutely. I'd just know it if I was adopted, i'd be like "its out there somewhere".
Big Cat: Yeah, but even still it's kinda like when you watch the Truman Show back in the day.
Hank: They also never mentioned the dad which kinda bothered me.  
Big Cat: Didn't they get pregnant at like high school-
Hank: Yeah
Big Cat: Yeah and he's just gone.
Hank: But like, your dad's your dad still. 
Big Cat: Yeah.
Hank: It was weird they didn't mention it. They were like "you know, they got knocked up at prom" type of thing but the dad still exists.
Big Cat: Right.

PFT: They blame the mom for a lot of stuff but they don't talk about the dad who was entirely non-existent.
Hank: Right.
Big Cat: It was also really creepy when they started doing the walking hand in hand and crossing their legs together. That's just *disgusted* ughh.
Hank: And the murder thing! 
Big Cat: Yeah, the murder thing was so casual!! Like "oh so one of you have been accused of murder" he's like "well i'll take this" 

PFT: That's big of you to admit that it was you
Big Cat: "No, no it wasn't me"
Hank: And then his brother's like "yeah *clapping* good answer!"

PFT: What a perfect crime to get away with, if you have 2 identical brothers? You could always claim that it wasn't you.
Big Cat: Yes, absolutely.

PFT: And they couldn't be like "well if it's not you, then it's you" 
Hank: The appendix thing, they did that with the appendix. That was funny.

PFT: Yeah. 
BILLY: Wait, really quick. Was the murder suspect guy the same one who killed himself? 
Big Cat: *inhales thinking*


PFT: No, I don't think so.
Big Cat: I get 'em all confused.

PFT: At what point in the documentary did you guys realize the triplet, the 3rd guy that's no longer there, was not going to be alive anymore
Big Cat: Yeah, that was a tough one to be like "wait why isn't this other guy talking?".

PFT: About 12-15 minutes into the documentary I was like "wait...".
Hank: Once they showed his wife before they showed him..
Big Cat: Yeah, you're like "uh oh...this is not going in the right direction". 

PFT: Yeah. I would love to put those 3 triplets through the combine when they met each other and just see how similar are you? What's your 3 cone drill like? 
Big Cat: Mhmm.
BILLY: I'm gonna be honest, I watched it and I was tryna figure it out, the heavier set one and the one that looked a little more like wider shoulders was from the blue collar family, like he was the bigger one. 
Big Cat: Think diet had something to do with it?
BILLY: I don't know, maybe he was just working harder.
Big Cat: Meat and Potatoes. 
BILLY: He just worked harder and was stockier.
Big Cat: It's perfect that's your takeaway. Like "did you see how much the poor one could bench!?"
BILLY: Well the skinny one was the doctor.
Hank: *laughing* "Look at these guys traps!" 

PFT: *laughing* Yeah the rich one was probably vegan. 
Hank: *laughs*
Big Cat: What a puss.

PFT: Yeah, just string-bean muscles. I do wanna give a lot of respect to their hands, that was an all time hands family. Like those big meaty paws that they had.
Big Cat: Yes, huge paws!  

PFT: They all looked like they got caught stuffing their hands into a beehive to pull out honeycombs and just got stung.
Big Cat: Huge huge paws. It was a great documentary though. We're back on track, that was a great watch. If you haven't watched it, watch it, 3 Identical Strangers. It's one of those documentaries that you come away from like "woah!". 



PFT: God, Belichick would have a field day if he had triplets on his team.
Big Cat: Yeah. 
Hank: Well, he's got the McCourty's

PFT: That's what i'm saying, if he had triplets on his team, imagine!
Big Cat: Endless possibilities.

PFT: Ernie Adams just nutted somewhere.
Big Cat: So what are we doing next? 

PFT: Ooo next documentary?
Hank: *exhales loudly* Should we let Billy pick?
Big Cat: Oo Billy pick? 
BILLY: Ooohh. 
Big Cat: Oh no. 
BILLY: Wait wait wait.
Hank: We'll think about it. 

PFT: *mocking Billy* "Real sex!"
Hank: Billy you pick 5 and come to me and then we will decide on Monday. 
Big Cat: And Hank will widdle it down to 3 and he'll tell us.
Hank: Yeah.
BILLY: Okay so there's this really cool documentary.

PFT: We're not watching loose change.
Big Cat: No no no, let's hear it. 
BILLY: It's about if Dragons were real.
Big Cat: Game of Thrones, Game of Thrones.
BILLY: No! I think it's called Dragonology or Dragon Quest. It's actually really cool.
Big Cat: PFT just watched it.



PFT: Dracarys
BILLY: It's like the science if dragons were real.
Big Cat: Okay, what's another one? 

PFT: They melted the throne at the end as a stage of symbolism.
BILLY: There's this other documentary, Icarus which I think we should really watch but that's another like Lance, *gets randomly extremely excited out of absolutely no where* oh oh why don't we watch a bodybuilding documentary?
Hank: We should do that!!!
Big Cat: Arnold, Ronnie Coleman. 

PFT: We did that Billy, remember when you just listened to the show all the time?
BILLY: *ignores shade* And then there's another one we could watch, the Yeti documentary!
Big Cat: The coolers!?
BILLY: No no, Yeti with Jeff Corwin who's on Animal Planet. I'm trying to think of other documentaries.
Hank: Billy make a list of 5, come to me, we'll widdle it down to 3. 
Big Cat: The documentaries Billy has seen are bodybuilding and like fucking-
Hank: Giant animals!
Big Cat: Yeah mythological.


PFT:  Yeah, things that don't exist.
Big Cat: Yeah, just the biggest humans and the biggest animals. Size matters to Billy.

PFT: *laughing* 
Big Cat: He won't watch any documentary with puny ass bitches. 

PFT: Billy what about, is there like a 30 for 30 that's really good that we all missed? 
Big Cat: Oo *inhales thinkin*

PFT: I never saw the Bo Jackson one, was that one any good?
Big Cat: It was pretty good.
Hank: It was good. The Bruce Lee one was good.
Big Cat: Oh yeah we never watched the Bruce one, yeah. 

PFT: Be Water?
Hank: Yeah
Big Cat: We'll figure it out, we'll tell everyone on Monday what we're gonna watch. Again, we have Rob Lowe coming up on Monday so get excited for that, it's gonna be great. Everyone have a great weekend.
BILLY: Oh no I actually know exactly one, the 7 Five, it's about east New York.



PFT: Love you guys.
Hank: Yes, yes. 
Big Cat: Seen that one too
BILLY: It's good!
Big Cat: What? Why are you giving me that look?
Hank: Because I thought I mentioned that a few weeks ago and you said you hadn't.

PFT: The Seven Five?
Big Cat: Oh wait maybe I haven't. There's another one, the-
Hank: Well we should watch that one.
BILLY: Yeah, we'll watch that one. 

PFT: Billy! Why don't you make a documentary? 
BILLY: I would love to make a documentary. 

PFT: You should make a documentary Billy.
Big Cat: The Seven Five? 
Hank: Yeah 
BILLY: Yeah I think so.
Big Cat: We're still recording, the Seven Five.
Hank: That was Manch and Glenny recommended that one to me too. I heard it was good. 
BILLY: It's sick.
Big Cat: Okay. Alright, we'll watch the Seven Five.
Hank: Yeah. 
Big Cat: Alright, let's watch the Seven Five!
Hank: On Netflix.
BILLY: Boom
Big Cat: Alright

PFT: Still love you guys.
Big Cat: Alright.

PFT: Love you guys.
BILLY: Love you more.



PFT: Love you guys. 
Big Cat: Woah.
BILLY: Love you the most.

PFT: That's not true.
Big Cat: Woah. Are we in a love you off?


[Outro]
*rock music remix of take on me by a-ha*

[The End] 


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