Swimmers Have It Right, More Men Should Shave Their Legs And Here's A Message To Those Who Don't

"Ludacris!" "You zany fool you!" "My masculinity lies within the wool coat growing upon my calves!". It's over jabronis, the swimmers got us hooked and there's no turning back. While there's unequivocally no chance they really started because of "the resistance in water", they're true revolutionaries. Have you heard the adage old as time, "once you black, you never go back"? Well I've got a new one for you "once you go wax, you never go back". 

I welcome all backlash for this one, you're all just bumbling fools if you can't see the light. I'm not promising you women will line up in droves, toppling walls and knocking over street lights for you, as if your leg hair has been the entity keeping you sexually dormant. No, this isn't 'World War Z' and most women happen to not be zombies-- emphasis on most-- you're likely disgusting for many other reasons. 

Why not knock a deterrent off the long list of reasons men are undesirable though? You catch ablaze when you stand too close to a campfire, you get rug burns by your bare existence, you look animalistic and unkempt-- your decision though, us intellectuals with our freshly shined limbs are going to continue thinking on another playing field while you struggle with your superiority complex. 

On the contrary however....Feeling more comfortable on a day to day basis without the irritant that is a rug lining your legs? What a womanly thing to do 🤢. I'd prefer going on hating my existence as a form of protest to these femboys taking over our society!! Do you think any girl is gonna fuck you without leg hair? DO YOU??? How will we ever procreate? We all know our delicate flowers need a big burly man to keep them warm through the harsh winters. What will she do when the lantern dims at dawn? How will she create warmth? Answer me that snowflakes.