Did You Know There's An Animal Called A ZORILLA And It's Related To Neither A Gorilla Nor A Zebra???

Yo...what the fuck dude?? That's bullshit. When someone casually dropped a Zorilla reference in conversation, I got fucking PSYCHED. How did a Gorilla manage to finagle his dick into a Zebra pussy? Or did a Gorilla mount a Zebra and alpha the fuck out of it? My head was running like Forrest Gump, I was so happy to learn of this mutant animal I had somehow never heard of. Napoleon Dynamite taught me all about Ligers but how had I never heard of the Gorilla-Zebra??? My life was changed forever, all my skepticism in life were resolved and any qualm I had prior vanished. The internet is really too powerful, we shouldn't have all this information in the power of our hands. Within seconds I was able to shatter my own dreams and hopes by Google Image searching a Zorilla. 

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? IT'S JUST A DAMN SKUNK. This thing is ugly as fuck! Not only does it not look like a Gorilla Zebra, it looks like a skunk fucked a squirrel! This is how I know there's no such thing as a "god", why the hell would he create THIS THING? This fake deity we call God gets a bad rap because that then assumes he for some reason decided this atrocity was worthy of a position on the one planet to inhabit intelligent lifeforms. He doesn't want that monstrosity on his hands, who the hell would?

Now, THIS is what EYE like to call a Zorilla. No ones gonna mistake this thing for pretty, but that might be the strongest animal in the kingdom. Calling that devil spawn a Zorilla would be like calling a new species of Bumblebee a Tazelle, expecting it to be a Tiger-Gazelle but its really just an overblown Murder Hornet. I'm just trying to make myself feel better here because I'm truly so damn devastated, everyone always asks me what my favorite animal is and I thought I had my new answer-- something that would send others scrambling to google, impressed by my intellect and biological knowledge. Nope...and there's no chance I can tell people a skunk is my favorite animal. What would that say about me? That I'm a garbage human with little to offer society? That'd be far too accurate. 

At the end of the day, again, it boils down to life being meaningless and how we all die a painful death having left nothing but disappointment in our wake. A Zorilla could have changed that all for me but no, why would anything good take place in life? I think I've accepted a life of pain and the Zorilla being a farce was the final shoe to drop. I'll just type, type, type away until my heart stops beating at 28 because I haven't moved from my couch in 8 years.