How Is This Video Of Kevin Garnett Bragging About His Heavy Artillery Not The National Anthem?

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— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) September 10, 2020

I mean, how the hell have I never seen this before? This is the greatest clip from a presser I've ever laid eyes upon-- fuck a Riley Curry. How has a rapper not sampled this as an intro yet? I have far too many questions but no answers whatsoever. Did he get fined for this? How did the whiny gun control crowd digest this? Did the NRA ever use this as a campaign slogan? Now THAT, would be their best pitch yet.  Imagine this happening today, do you know how quickly his ass would be cancelled and his house soon after raided? Almost instantaneously. Without this interview does the Arenas v. Crittenton showdown ever take place? What's the butterfly effect there? Affect, effect? Who the fuck knows! 

Now THAT'S a big 3 I'd of been there for. Arenas and KG running a pick and roll but being forced to kick it out to Javaris on the wing because he has a draik pointed at Gilberts 3rd baby moms head? Sign me UP. Caron Butler and Big Head Jamison were fine but what did they add to the beef, for all that mattered they could of been pacifists-- they certainly weren't about that action. 

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He bragged about having missile launchers, like military grade weapons...and no one cared! If you ever wondered how good KG was at basketball, that should be the biggest example of how grandiose he was as a ball player. I'm far too lazy to do the research on when he said this, but if it was in Minnesota-- he's my new favorite player, 5 years after he retired. I like to picture a 7 foot Kevin Garnett using an Uzi to kill a moose in the woods outside St. Paul, it brings me joy throughout my frail little frame. 

If he did it in Boston, well...I'm not saying Aaron Hernandez got framed but I think you can catch my drift. RIP. Oh shut the hell up you whiny cunt, I've said so much worse than wishing a serial killer a peaceful death. He was my favorite player, I'm a sports fan-- you can't expect me to use my logical brain with this stuff.