It's Offensive How Talented Pete Davidson Is And We Should Riot

I beat it into the ground how worthless I am, how I've turned out a complete and utter failure, how what I offer to society is minimal to non-existent. This cunt Pete Davidson, despite having the same mental health issues, is still just the complete antithesis of everything I represent. He's frail with womanly features much like myself so where did I go wrong to not be smashing Ariana Grande and Kate Beckinsdale right now? He lives with his mom still, and so do I! So what the fuck man! Doubt Pete has ever blogged to an audience of tens of unique readers though, so checkmate dork. 

Do I need to tattoo Rick and Morty along with demonic symbolism up and down my body to suddenly emerge an individual with talent? Because I will, I have multiple manic episodes each month and getting tattooed everywhere wouldn't phase me whatsoever. Do I need to kill my biological father? Does tragedy spark creativity resulting in wildly talented individuals? These are all things that can be arranged, I'm fucking desperate dude. A man who is one of the most lucrative comedians alive now is becoming a wildly successful actor, and all of the sudden he's a damn rapper too? 
The 'King Of Staten Island' was both hilarious and tugged at the heartstrings AND he was able to get maybe the funniest director of all time to orchestrate a movie about his life-- can't that just be enough??? How much power does a man require? But no, he's not done-- he suddenly has to prove to the world that he can rap better than essentially every white person alive? His verse is smoother than any Eminem song I've heard in the last 15 years and his buddy MGK was so bad at rapping that he just took over the entire Pop Punk genre, and is now smashing Megan Fox's cheeks to smithereens. Life is unfair, if he actually has a dick like Ariana Grande claims, I'm heading straight to God's Chambers up in the clouds and bringing many of weapons. 

back in 2018 u could ask ariana grande ANYTHING and she would say pete davidson's dick is 10 inches long

— ms methlab (@zuhamehtab) September 5, 2020

If you search long and hard enough, you'll never find a reason to not reside within the depths of depression. I think it's human nature to be depressed, I think our bodies enjoy it. Happiness seems to be taxing to your brain and it requires so many different chemicals to be active, what if we're just supposed to be fucking miserable? Doesn't mean you can't be productive because as the bastard above proves, even if you have all the money in the world and could fuck any girl you wanted-- you still want to kill yourself. I'm going to write a psychology textbook based upon nothing but my own theories and thoughts, based entirely upon nothing with no scientific facts to back up these claims. It's gonna be a best seller in the "suicidal idealization" genre, see you schmucks at the top.