If Luka Doncic Doesn't Change His Jersey Number I'll Graffiti His Home With My Own Blood

This is an opinion i've long pondered since the 2019 draft came and went. It's one not many have had the gumption nor gall to vocalize, their silence is deafening. I've come to say what we've all been thinking and will no longer be muzzled and restrained by the man.

 The number 77, rather than a number permitted in professional basketball, should be reserved exclusively for fast casual dining, to procure your rations as if you're going through the mess hall in junior high school or perhaps even the military. 

Luka Doncic, consider this a warning, when December 1st hits and the next NBA season commences, wear a number from 33 and below. If not, as stated in the title, I will leave the dental office from which I janitor, fly to Dallas, drive through the Whataburger wrapper saturated streets and drain myself like a halal slaughtered sheep until I've procured enough ammo to sufficiently to teach you the lesson. 

The single number double digit aesthetic fits the staunchly crafted build you've created, so I'd suggest the numbers 11, 22. However, if you instead decide to strengthen the stereotype of an adequate pasty NBA player in an organization committed to reflecting the demographics of a 1927 elementary school in Mississippi, the number 33 will also do just fine.