I Want To Drop Acid With Former San Diego Padre And Most Interesting Man In MLB History Khalil Greene

Throughout the fruitless years spent inhabiting this planet, I've gone through many internal debates surrounding drugs. Are they bad? Will they damage my long term health? Who else could be affected by my actions? To all questions above, my internal retort has been reminding myself that as a MAN I can't be bothered by how my actions may affect others. And who wants to live long anyways? Children, a family, joy, things of that nature? What am I? A woman? You want me to gonna betray my boys Ian and Tyler and our weekend trips to Titty bars and Domino's? Our wrestling team? I know all 6 of my rabid readers are warm blooded alphas unfazed by the societal change towards progressive thinking. We thrive in toxicity.

Khalil Greene plops LSD like lozenges, as exhibited by the middle name Thabit. How is it the most prototypical colorless Caucasian has a middle name of Muslim descent? Who decided the Cali bro who undoubtedly has uttered the phrase "shreddin' the knar" while throwing up shaka hands, would assume the name of the man who first compiled the Quran? 

Call me a kook, a mad man without a morsel of ethics, but there's not a chance Cindy Lou Green and Papa Greene did this. The once death driven Greene MUST of assumed this name to once joining Bahá'í Faith, he didn't want to look uncultured--whomst of that faith would ever doubt a man committed enough to boldly garnish the name of a holy figure. This faith is truly devoid of all racism as not a member has yet to see color.

My draw towards the man once donning the orange in which Dabo Swinney has so gracefully ruined, comes from our shared past time. Wanting to fucking die 😎. From 2008-2010, Thabit's career was thwarted and eventually ended by a string of mental collapses resulting in a cutting of the wrist. What a coincidence! From 2018-2020, MY entire life was thwarted and (hopefully) ended by a string of mental collapses resulting in a cutting of the wrist! 

Dabo and Trump hitting Culver’s tonight bottle service all night

— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) January 14, 2020

He's 40, I'm 20 and yearning for a father figure. Perhaps we have a match? He writes hip hop lyrics (not a joke), I listen to hip hop music (looooove WAP by Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion #WomanEmpowerment.) (unrelated, i'm single and ready to mingle ladies. You can DM me on Twitter @BAXLNDR). Anywho, Khalil you pacifist fuck I know you're reading--I'd be willing to discuss adult adoption if you agree to fight my father for my honor in a bare knuckle cage match. 

Just including this, for Khalil of course, so he'd know what he'd be getting into!

They say mental health is nothing to joke about, but to that I SAY how about when you're not mentally healthy yourself? Am I just supposed to let this hysterical self hatred go to waste? I'm a kind man, I enjoy the masses laughing at me rather than just keeping this detestation to myself--is a man unallowed to capitalize off his own talents? Isn't this America after all? I was under the impression that's what we were built on. Check AND MATE, take that blue check brigade. 

Back to you Khalil, I detest your lack of social media. It leads me to believe you've taken the cowards way out. Ditch the therapist and shitpost on Twitter with the rest of us like a REAL man.

Thank god for me. Whole team depressed, thank god for tweets

— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) February 19, 2016