I'm So Fucking Close To Posting Me Doing The WAP Dance

What must a man do for just a little bit of clout? I post 10 blogs and day and no one cares! Should they? Well no but I'm just in the mood to complain so here I am, in an ever search to make it as a blogger *blows brains out*, ready to take extreme measures. Will posting my gangly, seemingly lifeless body thrusting upon a hardwood floor get me the ultimate job I desire? No, there's actually no shot it will-- but does that mean I'm not gonna do it? No, like I always say, pain is my favorite emotion-- it means at least you care about something. And for me, I care very much about my blogs about the fake perspective of a redneck, and wasting individuals money on bets that never actually hit.

Give me a challenge next time @internet pic.twitter.com/aiGaTRkoQR

— Talkin’ Jake (@TalkinJake) September 5, 2020

Now this is a MAN. Jake Storiale is my idol, a dancing king. Nearly 30 years old and moving in ways you dream your girlfriend could. Look at those HAMS that man is carrying below the belt, SHEEESH. I promise you, if I were to end up doing it, it'll look more apropos to CinnaMon of Apple Jacks lore. Go subscribe to Talkin' Yanks, Wake & Jake, and Talkin' Baseball because he's just givin' you the goods for absolute free, give him something in return.

The biggest problem with me partaking in this viral thriller....I have absolutely no flexibility within any part of my body. I might actually tear every ligament I possess, and as a 20 year old that's an incredibly depressing statement-- but I already have arthritic knees and who knows what fragile substances my hamstrings are constructed of. But from the contrarian view, would that be the funny part of the video? Me being forced to spend thousands upon thousands on medical bills, all for a little drop of clout? I'm seriously considering just saying fuck it, dropping some psychedelics, getting horny as fuck and going for it. 

via GIPHY
Because no one ever comments on these blogs, I'm essentially just talking myself into it. Some would say you WANT attention on your blogs, but I beg to differ. I want to live in my own little bubble with no input from the outside world. Living in ignorance is the best place to reside, nothing can bother you and you're the Alexander The Great of your own world.

Am I going partially insane because the Yankees have become the American League equivalent of the Arizona Diamondbacks? Well, buddy, I wouldn't be asking that question if I wasn't. Sports control far too much of my day-to-day emotions and I desire to simply be able to watch the fun games and fun players, but no, I must torture myself in any way available. I've lost most of my Lakers fandom and just in time for them to win the title! I've always had quite the way with timing. Can the NFL qualm my restless little heart? Or will I resort to dancing in provocative ways as Cardi B raps about things that I'll never be able to give a woman? I'll report back on Monday, lets hope those NFL picks hit though, because it's gonna be a scary site for all of America if not.