Giannis Antetokounmpo is John Stockton?

Sure there's nothing actually similar about them. Fine, you've got me over a barrel there...HOWEVER MAX KELLERMAN, this has to be the most relatable thing John Stockton has said since...ever? 

Having absolutely no sense of who you really are and having a distorted self image, isn't that what being a human is about? We all think we're much stronger, taller, and better looking than we truly are. Even if you think you ARE scrawny, ugly and worthless...you're probably underestimating just how ugly, weak and little you actually contribute to society in reality. Not that i'd know anything about that. 

So when John Stockton says Giannis reminds him of himself, that's the equivalent of you watching a movie and thinking you look like a character. News flash bucko, you don't...if you did, you'd be in Hollywood rather than home alone on a Friday night.  

Stockton thinks of himself as a 6'11 mammoth dunking on MJ in the finals, he sees doing windmills from the free throw line and jumping over Tim Hardaway. Stockton likes to imagine being a troop and growing up having never tasted Corn Dogs or Smoothies. In his mind, he simply doesn't see color and he and Giannis are one in the same. 

I bought a car and i have no idea what color it is. It is quite the nuisance when im trying to find it after leaving the grocery store https://t.co/oqTmLZ44wE

— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) May 27, 2020

Rich People Should Be Far Cooler

why do people with more money than god continue to work?

— 🗣 (@BKSTUSSY) May 16, 2020

Bezos, Musk, Cuban on and on...what are they doing still working? At some point don't you just decide, what the fuck is the point? 

The Trillion Dollar Man? https://t.co/uUjrv1AHL5

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 16, 2020

How is this even possible??? What, in the sam hell, can you even do with a trillion dollars? This motherfucker just gonna buy every store in the world...but continue working for some completely unnecessary reason.

If I was Jeff Bezos I’d tweet “only broke ppl up rn” everyday around 1pm

— $way (@swaywho) May 15, 2020

And i'd be lying in bed, havin' grapes fed to me like Cleopatra by my maid, while my feet are rubbed by the best masseuse in the galaxy, who's on payroll of course.

I mean at the point where you've gotta TRILLION DOLLARS life just turns into a video game. Buy lit-erally ANYTHING you want. We've got unlimited money fellas.

Bezos and his pals should just be gigantic dickheads and rent out Disneyland 6 times a week instead he's a gigantic dickhead and abuses his employees. I'd buy every single ticket to every single Lakers game and be the sole fan in there. Home and Road, i'm basically part of the team now...deal with it Bron Bron. 

Mark Cuban should just be paying NBA GMs hundreds of millions to make the MOST lopsided of trades with him. 

"Yeah Milwaukee you want Maxi Kleber, Courtney Lee and a 2nd Round Pick for Giannis? I think we can make that happen. Call it into the league"

I say that to say this, these billionaires are doing IT ALL WRONG.

An NBA Twitter Hypothetical Pt. 1

Well,,,here we are. The year is 2054, sports sadly ended March 11th of 2019 after the big Rona hit and the world simply didn't know how to handle the easiest possible task in human history. 

Anyways, I was scrolling my timeline and stumbled across something actually unique. On Twitter, in these days? Incredible, I know. So props to this man, he might be a sorcerer or some shit. 

The task is to put together a 10 man team of players who've played from '99-'20 and no one could have been on the same team nor been born in the same country. Some ground rules, Jordan technically played in my lifetime but that'd be semantics and i'm not with the whoee of that game so he's off limits. Secondly, the team must make sense if they were to play an NBA game together in the sense where i'm not gonna pick 8 centers and 2 back to the basket forwards.

Starting with the obvious ones here, Greece, Germany and the US. Giannis, Dirk and LeBron. I'm a Kobe guy through and through but there's gonna be a lot of guys who are gonna need shots in this game. LeBron will be my primary distributor in the starting 5 and Giannis is coming off the bench. Dirk slots in at the 4 to stretch the court and hobble up and down the court.

Researching for this i've learned that this would be much easier if I was 4-5 years older. To round out my starting 5 will be.......Jokic, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Manu.

Center- Yao Ming (Rockets, China)

Forward- Dirk Nowitzki (Mavericks, Germany)

Forward- LeBron James (Cavs-Heat-Lakers, US)

Guard- Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (Clippers-Thunder, Canada)

Guard- Manu Ginobili (Spurs, Argentina)

With this squad of starters i've got fuckin' everything. On any given game i've got 3 dudes who can give you an EASY 40. Bron has it easy on offense so he'll be there on defense, Shai will lock up 1-3 and Yao is literally 7'6. Good luck. I've got shooting, dribble penetration and the passing between Manu and Lebron? Forget about it. 

Now for the bench unit, this could be surprising some of the names you are about to read. I spent over an hour putting heavy mathematical and analytical research into this. Question it at your own peril. No really, brother this criteria royally fucks me over.

Center- Nikola Jokic (Nuggets, Serbia)

Forward- Giannis Antetokounmpo (Bucks, Greece)

Forward- Andrei Kirilenko (Jazz-Wolves-Nets, Russia)

Guard- Buddy Hield (Pelicans-Kings, Bahamas)

Guard- Benjamin Simmons (76ers, Austral)

Switchability, length, shooting, passing. What 6th man is fucking with Giannis? The hardest one to include for me was Buddy Hield because his defense is god awful and he seems to think he's far better than he really is. The option for me was Hield & Jokic or Siakam & Bogdanovic. Jokic is the best player in there thus that outweighs all for me. 

Kirilenko feels like a steal, people forget how much of a menace he was on D and his legit point forward skills. He played in the wrong era, which is weird to say considering he only retired in 2014. His stats don't even come close to doing him justice. 

The internet is very rational and i'm sure everyone will be able to accept this and have a good wholesome conversation about it!