Mickey Mouse is An American Hero

As I established yesterday, Adam Silver can't tell tell the difference between the Alphabet and Numbers...thus, this report could only mean one thing. Surprise, Surprise...our favorite animated cartoon rat has come to the rescue once again. This time saving a lost league needing guidance.

The following is a statement from NBA Chief Communications Officer Mike Bass: pic.twitter.com/8gfK5iVXs8

— NBA (@NBA) May 23, 2020

What screams player safety more than Mickard K Mouse? The rodent is a one man machine with everything from car seats to children's books. Do you really think anyones walkin' away with the big rona on this mans watch? 

Do we think the players will be sleeping in Mickey Mouse themed beds in order to pay homage to the savior who dragged them out of the gutters? It seems rather disrespectful to do otherwise in my mind. 

Tell Goofy to hit my line because I am a goddamn bar-gain hunter, for less than $40,000 they could be donning every one of their players in the finest linens. Some may deem it "unnecessary" or the beds "too small", so don't be surprised when they'r forced to sleep in lame beds with no pizzazz whatsoever. 

Mickey Mouse consistently steps up for the people of America, when no one else will...even WITH the derogatory comments made by one Bugs Aloicious Bunny, in the 1996 NBA based movie Space Jam, Mickey is still rising to the occasion at the plum old age of 83. 

"What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name a team 'The Ducks?'" 

Have you ever seen a statement from Bugs issuing an apology? Me neither. Team Mickey 'till I die.

Did This Man Just Change Fashion Forever? The Answer May Surprise You

via/@leif_erickson7 on Twitter

Now, I know what you're thinking...Is that a DIAPER, on that mans head? Being used as a mask? You're damn skippy bubba. 

I’m certainly no health care professional but it would seem to me that a device designed to keep, lets just say "things", from escaping would be the BEST possible material to use as a mask. But again, that's just one mans opinion and I could be wrong (doubtful). So it works to destroy the Rona, but it is much more than just functionality, oh boy you better believe it. 

This man, is out on a presumably modest walk to grab a coffee...So he, as a sensible adult man decided to grab the friendly approachable Woody from Toy Story-Diaper Mask, to show he wasn't a threat or any type of weirdo simply wearing a diaper on his head...Fair. BUT! What if, post Rona, he was going to a business meeting? He might want something more, serious and less playful. Say, the Boss Baby-Diaper Mask.






















Strap a Pamper donning this bad boy to the side of his head and his compadres KNOW that he's in there to discuss business and business only. No jokes, no bullshit. Boss baby will NOT be played a fool, what a preposterous proposition to even ponder.

Now, I know what you're thinking...for the second time this blog, yeah I'm talented...what of it? 

"But but, what if he wanted to go out and have a sensible time with some lady friends at the club?"...OH, DON'T YOU WORRY, HE'S GOT THE HUGGIES ON DECK. 

What says, "yeah I fuck, what's up with you" more than Mickey K. Mouse? The guy has his own damn clubhouse for god-sakes. Match the Mouse-Diaper Mask with some J's? OOoooo BOY, you're playin' with fire. Whole damn club might be up in there starin' at your ass.