Mickey Mouse is An American Hero

As I established yesterday, Adam Silver can't tell tell the difference between the Alphabet and Numbers...thus, this report could only mean one thing. Surprise, Surprise...our favorite animated cartoon rat has come to the rescue once again. This time saving a lost league needing guidance.

The following is a statement from NBA Chief Communications Officer Mike Bass: pic.twitter.com/8gfK5iVXs8

— NBA (@NBA) May 23, 2020

What screams player safety more than Mickard K Mouse? The rodent is a one man machine with everything from car seats to children's books. Do you really think anyones walkin' away with the big rona on this mans watch? 

Do we think the players will be sleeping in Mickey Mouse themed beds in order to pay homage to the savior who dragged them out of the gutters? It seems rather disrespectful to do otherwise in my mind. 

Tell Goofy to hit my line because I am a goddamn bar-gain hunter, for less than $40,000 they could be donning every one of their players in the finest linens. Some may deem it "unnecessary" or the beds "too small", so don't be surprised when they'r forced to sleep in lame beds with no pizzazz whatsoever. 

Mickey Mouse consistently steps up for the people of America, when no one else will...even WITH the derogatory comments made by one Bugs Aloicious Bunny, in the 1996 NBA based movie Space Jam, Mickey is still rising to the occasion at the plum old age of 83. 

"What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name a team 'The Ducks?'" 

Have you ever seen a statement from Bugs issuing an apology? Me neither. Team Mickey 'till I die.