Andrew Wiggins Father is Canceled

Were you aware of this? Andrew Wiggins', notorious star and leader of the Golden State Warriors, had a father who played in the NBA during the 80's and 90's...furthermore, he was also kicked out of the league for cocaine problems. However, after stints with the infamous Tampa Bay Stars, Mississippi Jets, Quad City Thunder and of course, the Jacksonville Hooters he rejoined the Rockets but was out of the league within 2 years. 

Some may trot out mundane statements like "cocaine is bad", "no wonder Andrew has zero basketball IQ" and "why the fuck did the Warriors trade for this guy". However, that would be insensitive, Andrew become the top recruit in America and earned a max NBA contract for promising to work hard. America. Where when you lie just enough, you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to! 

For years, the NBA's biggest question was always "Why won't Wiggins pass the damn ball?", well I may have found your answer.

Well,,, HIS FATHER WAS ON CRACK. 

Let me explain...kids are ruthless, as we all know. 

I was at the store the other day and this child, he could be no older than 14 called me a "jelly head"...as you may have guessed I was distraught, I couldn't function properly for the next 48 hours as I simply had no clue what this meant, but was still able to feel personally offended. I went to my wife and asked her if I had a "jelly head", she cracked up laughing and stole my wallet...I haven't seen her since. 

I say that to say this, if kids are that rude to a simpleton such as myself browsing for ketchup, imagine the heckling Wiggins received. Do you think as he developed his talents and realized his stardom, he was ever going to let those bullies touch the ball again? Absolutely not, thus he picked up those toxic habits from an early age...and at no fault of his own. 

To make matters worse... he was then drafted into the NBA and who was his first teammate? None other than Corey Brewer... Corey's a good pal, so I mean no harm in saying this...but there's never been an NBA player more similar to a crackhead than Corey Brewer. 

Wiggins was doomed from the start. Let him earn his money in peace.