Fuck, Marry, Kill-- Spongebob, Patrick, Plankton

Back on the bullshit, yesterday, we stuck to actual humans. Today however, we boink with some more animated characters. Last time it was Winnie, Blue, and Bob The Builder, that was far too innocent though, those characters are all from cartoons in which are meant for the 0-8 range. Today, we take a step up on the ladder into the 9-15 genre, instead of clapping some Sandy Cheeks though, we're gonna stick to the non-binary folks, as to protect my masculinity. We all know my masculinity is the most important factor in my life, no beta male is talking about fornicating with Pumpkins. Spongebob could be a woman, hell have you heard his voice? I've heard females with lower voices than he, and that leads me to believe he could be anything. Patrick certainly would lead you to believe he's a male, but, but, but, he's pink-- everyone knows only women wear pink. Plankton is too tiny to have genitalia, it's simple math, look at the square footage of his body and imagine what kind of chungus or downstairs slit he'd harbor? Just not possible.

Without further rambling, because every time I write about seducing a fictional animated creation, I get nervous the SWAT may beat down my door any second, let's hop into some FMK. 

Fuck- Plankton

So over here, on this side, we fuck Chicken Nuggets and are proud to shout it to the world-- it's a spot of pride for us. Plankton looks roughly the size of a crispy, tender within nugget and so why not go for that experience. My jimmy is likely around the length of his entire body, which is what leads me to nominate him with the "fuck" variation. If i'm to demolish his innards and eradicate the little green fella, I don't have to worry about the heartbreak I'd experience should I have married him. How good of head do we think Plankton gives, because I could imagine he has that sloppy toppy, big time. It's just something you'll never get the opportunity again, and so if you kill Plankton, you're punting on an occurrence that will never again present itself.

I want to hear him moaning belligerently about the Krabby Patty Secret Formula, while I nail his brains out. I want to see Mr. Krabs the next day and dap him up, letting him in on the secret, that I just slaughtered his arch nemesis and put my Satan seed all over his piss yellow pupil. Perhaps he'd then let me shove my johnson up Peach's canyon wide, gaping nostrils. 

Marry- Spongebob

Bubba...I'd never get tired of shagging those angst creating craters, which lie upon squarepants. Yeah, his voice is annoying, and could create the desire for you to whack yourself within the first month-- that's what ball gags are for. There are no ground rules here, I create the rules-- "the only sensible way to live in this world is without rules" as best said by Bruce Wayne's master. Now, after fucking the world out of every visible opening upon Bob's body, the best part is-- I can carve out my own holes, of any size or shape. Sponges are reproductive and don't feel pain, it's the best combination imaginable. 

Never will Spongebob complain that "you're not doing something right", like these pesky damsels consistently do, without error. His giddy, always positive energy, will keep you positive towards life, and give you all the passion and motivations you'll ever need. And don't even get me started on the free meals I'd receive from the Krusty Krab-- who's dream as a school boy wasn't to try a Krabby Patty? Yeah, box boy can get this golf tee dick. 

Kill- Patrick

Who likes fat chicks? She's borderline obese and if a physician was to take stock of her BMI, there'd be diet pills and cauliflower thrown at her by the dozens. It's assuredly not a BENEFIT that she's annoying as hell, and plays dumb at every turn. I'm already infuriating enough and don't need some leggy dame attempting to better me at every turn. Her home is full of sand and shagging in that environment is a harbinger for STD's, can't be pulling out the knob in that environment. Also, tell the tramp to maybe put on a shirt every once in a while, I've never seen a more flat chested fatty. Kill the corpulent cunt and make sure she never comes in contact with me, or my ramrod. 

I'm in a downwards spiral, but I don't think there's any end in site. I'll never betray my FMK roots of animated carnal reproduction, it's my mud and I'm most comfortable in the mud. If spending 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, blogging about both sports and the worst smut you could imagine, doesn't end up with me in a high paying job one day? I have no clue what would.