Taijuan Walker? Brian Cashman, You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me.

It's quite the blessing that the Yankees have had such good fortunes with injury plagued pitchers acquired from Seattle, or this would just be flat out bananas! Who could forget the Michael Pineda Cy Young scorched earth season? Or when James Paxton overcame all his injury woes and dominated the AL, leading the Yanks to their first World Series since 2009? 

Oh, none of that happened? LSD just keeps getting better and better, I could've sworn trading for mutilated Mariners was the type of advanced, progressive thinking that had the Yankees as one of the leagues elites. 

Brian Cashman is a phenomenal GM, don't muttle my words. You wouldn't catch me saying otherwise as I couldn't be mistaken a plum fool! I tend to believe the capacity of his genius is restricted by the bastard son Steinbrenner (*cough*Bryce*cough*), however i'll save that rant for the people who care--not a soul alive. 

With that all said, his track record in trading for pitchers has been fucking horrific. There was better decision making in 'The Conjuring', and it's not like they've all been bad pitchers. Sonny Gray and Lance Lynn are two of the ten best pitchers in the MLB right now, Sonny was a mental midget demoralized by an fossilized pitching coach and Lynn never fit in, still not sure why. J.A Happ had a terrific end of the 2018 season after the trade but has turned into late career Jamie Moyer ever since, he fucking stinks. 

If you're gonna make a move for a pitcher...make a move for a proven pitcher maybe? Perhaps grabbing gashed and bruised career 4 ERA guys to add to a disable rotation of career 4 ERA guys isn't going to help shit? 

Alright now it's time to be honest, I have a unhealthy addiction to Taijuan Walker. Is it his racially ambiguous name? Is it my eeny weeny Caterpillar brain resorting towards when he was one of the 20 best prospects in baseball? Probably both, however there's beauty in knowing just how fucking stupid you truly are. Props to me for admitting I have the processing skills of an 8 year old after a ice cold Cherry Slurpee, Taijuan Walker should come no where near this team. 

With that said, trade whatever you want for him. His name is that of an ace and that's all that matters. And hey, at the end of the day pain is nothing new for Yankees fans and i'd love to suffer through another reclamation project with command issues.