MLB SEASON PREVIEWS 1/32: BALTIMORE ORIOLES (WHY AM I WRITING THIS?)

Why on Earth would anybody willingly still root for this team? I feel legitimately bad for these people and wish they would listen to reason and common sense, unfortunately they will not...fans, well,,,they often don't. 

But I get it, people have their rooting interests decided for them by geographical location and that's a WILD thing when you stop and think about it. Imagine if we did that with other shit, Not from Wisconsin? You can't have Cheese. Not from Italy? Can't eat Pizza. This may need to be its own blog at a later date, may be something I ponder perhaps. 

Thoughts with the Mancini Family.

Back to the Orioles...What is there to be excited about here? Villar? OH, Nope, you DFA'd him because 8M was far too much for the poor poor Angelos family. So he's out. You were already going to be GOD AWFUL and then your best player, BY FAR, is now out the en-tire season. If i'm an Orioles fan, the Rona came not a second too late. Just saved our ass from at least 80 games of embarrassment, let the season get canceled! 

Hanser Alberto was a neat find, butttttttttttt, if you have to get excited about a slappy .300 hitter...that just about says it all.

Bare with me though, as painful as it is, there's 2 semi-bright spots to overrate on social media when people shit on how bad your team is. John Means and Austin Hays are your hopes for any types of joy in the next 6 months.

On a team with absolutely nothing, Means was able to put up a 3.6 ERA with 120K's in 27 starts. On the surface, that's good but being able to do that in what is definitely, maybe the most toxic environment possible? Pretty good, he's already 27 so the chances he improves much, welp it's skim, but to have at least one (1) semi-reliable semi-proven starter keeps you from ending it all...at least hopefully. 

Austin Hays, in about 70 at-bats, looked like at fuckin' STUD. That's the problem though, give 'em another 70 AB's and that .950 OPS, could've easily been a .680 OPS. He's only been a Top 100 prospect once throughout his career, hall of fame here we come! Prospect rankings don't always tell the whole story though *cough* Aaron Judge *cough*, maybe Hays is the next stud OF in the DMV Area. 

Keep your head up Orioles fans, Adley is on the way. Or the world is about to end, one way or the other, the pain will be over soon....ish.

Bryce Harper in Pinstripes: What Could've Been

It always seemed destined to happen, until it fuckin' didn't. Bryce Harper came out as a young phenom, in Sports Illustrated, stating loud and clear that he dreamed of donning pinstripes. It so happens that the Yankees rake in the most money of any MLB team, by FAR, and just so conveniently in a sport without a salary cap.

Well looky here that seems to be a match made in heaven, how bout it?

Player, who is much worse than Bryce Harper,
frustrated after yet another strikeout...or maybe
he just strained his hamstring for the third time this season.

Hal Steinbrenner, cheapskate fuck Yankees Owner, is much too concerned with his bottom line than winning and putting out a compelling product for this to make sense. Fans gobble that shit up too, "huh huh well he traded for Giancarlo's money so you can't expect him to pay Bryce Harper too!" 

Are you fucking kidding me? 

THE YANKEES MADE 683 MILLION DOLLARS LAST YEAR. I mean seriously, Bryce Harper's annual salary for his 13 Year/330 Million contract is ~25.4M....THE YANKEES ARE PAYING BRETT GARDNER AND AARON HICKS ~21M THIS YEAR AND NEXT. When you can squeeze that extra 4.4M out, for far worse players...you've just gotta do it!

SIX HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE MILLION DOLLARS. 

Hicks is signed through 2025 and has played a grand total of 59 games since he signed his contract...but he'll be back strong this year, right? Nahh, he had Tommy John this offseason and isn't gonna be back until 2021! Damnit Hal, you've done it again! You're simply a genius.

Bryce Harper is an MVP, the most recognizable name in baseball...the most marketable player in baseball...and wanted to be a Yankee, all things being equal. God damn that luxary tax though Hal! You'll only make 200 instead of 300 million and won't be able to afford that 3rd Yacht! 


Are they going to pay Aaron Judge? You know, that guy gets injured! 

I say this all to point to the fact that, whatever spin ownership puts on saving money, the Village Idiots just eat that shit up. It's why the cycle of mediocrity continues and the Yankees haven't won shit in the last decade. Stop falling for owners crying poor, all whilst buying Rembrandt paintings and Beach Clubs down in the Bahamas.