Peyton Manning Is Painfully Unfunny

Whilst golfing against Tom Brady, Peyton Manning has taken this opportunity to audition for Monday Night Football. He clearly sees the bag Tony Romo got and now wants ESPN to shell it out for him. Kind of despicable once you realize this is a CHARITY golf experience and Mr. Forehead himself, has decided it's a job interview. 

We all deserve this however, we booted the great Booger McFarland out of the club after a year in which he gave us countless hearty belly chuckles. Now, we're going to be stuck with 10 years of Peyton Manning laughing at his own dad jokes. 

Will Peyton Manning be drawing male genitalia whilst talking about ejaculation? I know Booger was. Peyton will give us countless dad jokes that make exactly no one laugh besides the poor commentator forcing one out. 

Oh No Booger! pic.twitter.com/dVcexJDA0A

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) January 5, 2020

"Lately i've cut down on the Vegetables partner...Some days I just don't care at (Carrot) all." 

Is this the future you want? Is this what you want your children growing up hearing? Join Me in keeping Peyton off your TV screen.

The coked up execs over at ESPN should know from first hand experience that normal is boring. 

As always, Brady better. 

🐐
pic.twitter.com/fWAuXzfjJ8

— Pat (@BarstoolPAT) May 24, 2020

Booger And Tess Getting Booted By Monday Night Football Is A Disservice To America

Sports fans want their announcers to be good, shocker. How many truly good commentators are there though? On top of that, how many truly good partnerships are there? Troy Aikman isn't a "good" commentator and he's been doing it since I was an infant. He like many others, says dumb shit all the time and there. lies. my. point. Who cares about the dumb shit they say, if it's entertaining. 

Aikman isn't entertaining, Joe Buck is carrying him like Dirk in 2011. Aikman is Tyson Chandler, he should be in a studio analyst role not co-staring on the biggest stage in Football. 

In fact, Booger and Tess were absolutely awful at their jobs and that's what made it so damn funny. The most random and unanticipated shit would come out of their mouths at the most inopportune of times.

Oh No Booger! pic.twitter.com/dVcexJDA0A

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) January 5, 2020

Booger just suggested a short run on third down and spike it on fourth. No.

— Greg Auman (@gregauman) January 5, 2020

Booger making a decent case that the second all time leading rusher should make the hall of fame. He made some solid points

— Trill Withers (@TylerIAm) January 4, 2020

Booger says “America” 10 times a game

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) December 24, 2019

“They’re not going to come up and play the run” ...

As literally the entire secondary bites on the fake while an open wide receiver streaks past pic.twitter.com/xSSIotAyEc

— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) December 10, 2019

"These are the plays that have historically gone against the Vikings...the Minneapolis miracle..."

Yah, they got really screwed on that one, Booger

— Sam Monson (@PFF_Sam) December 3, 2019

Do you think when Booger spends 2 minutes saying colts can’t run and then they instantly rip off 40 yards rushing he pounds his fist on the table?

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) January 5, 2019

You get the point, I won't keep you here all day. Watching someone be so wrong at such a high stage and never correct himself, that's incredible entertainment. 

Tess was never made to be a football commentator, he lends himself to Boxing and UFC where there's a ton of excitement in a short time span. He simply can not control the octave level of his voice. Hearing him scream after a gain of 3 or an incomplete pass was hysterical. 

That's why he and Booger worked so well together though, both were awful at their provided job and it was hilarious to watch them try and work through it together. 

Without them we never get one of the greatest tweets ever, so a moment in peace for the brave soldiers we lost today.

BOOGER: There's a new way of thinking in the NFL - cats can have a little salami
TESSITORE: You mean the cured sausage with high sodium and fat content?
BOOGER: The very same. Used to be, it was unimaginable to feed that to a pet. But times change, and so does football

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) November 19, 2019