Peyton Manning Is Painfully Unfunny

Whilst golfing against Tom Brady, Peyton Manning has taken this opportunity to audition for Monday Night Football. He clearly sees the bag Tony Romo got and now wants ESPN to shell it out for him. Kind of despicable once you realize this is a CHARITY golf experience and Mr. Forehead himself, has decided it's a job interview. 

We all deserve this however, we booted the great Booger McFarland out of the club after a year in which he gave us countless hearty belly chuckles. Now, we're going to be stuck with 10 years of Peyton Manning laughing at his own dad jokes. 

Will Peyton Manning be drawing male genitalia whilst talking about ejaculation? I know Booger was. Peyton will give us countless dad jokes that make exactly no one laugh besides the poor commentator forcing one out. 

Oh No Booger! pic.twitter.com/dVcexJDA0A

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) January 5, 2020

"Lately i've cut down on the Vegetables partner...Some days I just don't care at (Carrot) all." 

Is this the future you want? Is this what you want your children growing up hearing? Join Me in keeping Peyton off your TV screen.

The coked up execs over at ESPN should know from first hand experience that normal is boring. 

As always, Brady better. 

🐐
pic.twitter.com/fWAuXzfjJ8

— Pat (@BarstoolPAT) May 24, 2020

Michael Thomas is Supremely Corny

Devante Parker vs Michael Thomas. Round 1 FIGHT pic.twitter.com/8Y3HGWXcyA

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) May 18, 2020

It's Team Devante all the way, no doubt. If you're constantly the first one to parade around your own stats, you're doin' it all wrong fella.

It took one (1), letter from Parker for Mickey Mouse Mike to take a hypothetical EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY. My guy, Devante Parker is trapped in his house like us all just messing around on Insta, you don't gotta treat this like World War 3. 

His voice is hysterically funny, you can't lie

and say it isn't. I simply won't allow it. 

Michael Thomas went to Ohio State, his uncle is Keyshawn Johnson and he plays with Drew Brees for Sean Payton. Name a receiver who's had better a better situation coming into the league in the last 10 years? 

It doesn't make people like you more to say how good you are. In fact! It actually does quite the opposite. I'd have no reason to dislike Michael Thomas if not for how he acted on social media. 

Thomas went to the Jerry Rice School of Corniness and is passing with flying colors...unsettling to say the least. 

You're force-fed targets unlike any other receiver and accumulate a lot of regular season counting stats. 

Imagine if Marques Colston did some shit like this? 

Imagine making $20 Million Dollars a year, living in New Orleans and still being on social media complaining all day? Couldn't be me.